25. Jo
Chapter 25
Jo
T he bell above the door chimes, and I look up to see Carm dressed in all black. I raise my eyebrows at her as she approaches the booth. “Who died?”
She blows past me towards the counter and places an order with a barista who looks like she’s seen better days. Returning to the table a few moments later, she sets down two large coffee mugs and slumps into the banquette.
“I’m in mourning,” she responds, taking a sip and immediately spitting the coffee back into her mug. “Dammit, that’s hot.”
I tilt my head in confusion, “Uhm one, why are you in town? Two, who are you mourning?”
“Julie Andrews.”
Picking up my coffee mug, I blow gently on the swirling steam. “Carm, Julie Andrews is very much alive.”
“Don’t patronize me, woman. I’m mourning her inevitable death.”
A waitress carrying a tray of assorted pastries approaches the table, and I look between her and Carmen. “Here you are, ladies. Let me know if you need anything else.” She sets the pastries down on the table, and my mouth falls open.
“Are you trying to give me diabetes? What is all this?” I ask flippantly.
“It’s really fine, I just panicked when I got to the register and told the barista to give us one of everything. Whoops!” Carmen grabs a particularly sad-looking chocolate croissant and shoves it in her mouth whole. Between chews, she continues, “Now spill the fucking beans.”
I sigh and slump down into the booth before I begin. Quite literally nothing has happened. I’m probably just being dramatic like I always am.
“Isaac got hired on as a research coordinator. He showed up at the faculty meeting at the beginning of the term.”
A rogue piece of the croissant escapes Carmen’s mouth when she gasps. “No fucking way. What a piece o?—”
“Okay, okay.”
I interrupt her before she can continue her inevitable slander of the man I was once in love with. “It’s really fine. It’s been years. He’s married to Victoria.”
She continues, louder than before. “It is certainly NOT fine! Why the hell would he follow you here? Wasn’t he in Alaska or some shit?” Her pitch climbs exponentially as she speaks.
“Massachusetts, Carm. You know what, doesn’t matter.” The chime over the door sounds again, and I look up to see a couple arm-in-arm. “I just really don’t know if I’ll be able to handle seeing them together again.”
I pick up what looks to be a cheese danish and take a nibble. “Scratch that, I don’t care. I’m a bad bitch.”
Carmen’s fist comes crashing down to the table, catching the attention of the surrounding patrons. “Damn right, you are! Love isn’t real. They probably just spend their days looking for ways to piss each other off because they hate each other so much.”
I continue to nibble on my danish and contemplate how different my life looks at thirty-four than I imagined it would. I’ve focused so much of my time and effort on my career that I’ve almost forgotten that I had other plans. Other life goals.
“Do you ever think about how our lives would be different if we didn’t go to medical school?” I ask, watching as Carmen inhales another pastry.
She shrugs, brushing off my question as rhetorical.
“I’m serious, Carm, we’re getting old, and all we’ve done is school and work! I want to travel the world. I want to have fun. I want to fall in love.”
Carmen stops mid-chew and scoffs. “First of all, you have crippling travel anxiety, so don’t even pretend like you’re going to travel the world.” She emphasizes her point with air quotations. “Second of all, where is this even coming from?”
I sigh, letting my head slump back against the bench seat.
Carmen pushes me. “Is this because of devil boy?”
I roll my head around in a circle slowly before meeting her gaze. “No,” I lie, crossing my eyes.
The chime above the door sounds as a family walks through. Two young girls in pink tutus cling to the man’s legs as they approach the counter. A woman, about my age, pushes a stroller behind him and I get a glimpse of a tiny baby, not more than a few weeks old. I sigh once more, leaning my elbows on the table to support my head. I have the overwhelming urge to cry.
“I really thought I would be fulfilled by now.” I watch the family out of the corner of my eye as they gather hot chocolates and treats, congregating at a table. “That I would be happy.”
Carmen picks at her black nail polish, studying my gaze. “You feel like you're behind in life.” She hits the nail on the head without even really trying.
“I’m thirty-four, and what do I have to show for it? My mother literally called me last week offering to pay to freeze my eggs!”
“Ooooof, Carolyn please,” Carmen laughs uncomfortably, then pauses contemplatively. “But you know, it’s not a bad idea…”
I scoff, picking at the corner of another baked good. “I just feel like I missed some of the best years of my life while I focused on school.”
“Let’s go out tonight,” she smiles mischievously.
“Carm, it’s Monday. You know I have to work in the morni—” She cuts me off with a hand wave, and pushes my coffee cup towards me.
“You literally just said you wanted to have more fun. Suck it the fuck up, buttercup!” She chugs the last of her coffee and stands abruptly from her spot in the booth. “I’ll pick you up at seven. Wear something slutty.”
With that, she grabs the last pastry on the table and promptly exits the coffee shop.
And I’m left wondering what I just got myself into.