48. Jo
Chapter 48
Jo
“ H ey, Dr. Carello.” The sound of his voice echoes through my phone speakers, and music booms in the background. Panic starts at the tips of my toes and zips straight up my spine. I have to get this over with.
“I’m going on a date,” I blurt, before letting myself think better of it.
Silence fills the other end of the line, and I look down at the worn tips of my sneakers. I don’t know why I need this closure. My heart has been broken over him for twelve years. I need to give someone else a chance to heal it.
He clears his throat quietly, “Uh. Okay?”
Another beat of silence fills my head with pressure. I can’t quite make out the emotion in his voice. Is it indifference?
“Yeah, so. I need you to tell me I have no shot.”
“Ex-excuse me?” he stutters.
“I need closure, Isaac. I need you to tell me to move on.”
“What? Why?”
“No, please just tell me. I need to stop hoping for something to happen between us. It’s just not going to happen, and I want to give this guy an honest chance.”
I wait one more moment before begging, “ Please .”
I hear the sound of a door closing through the line, and the background noise fades away.
Then he laughs.
He laughs?
This fucker is laughing.
“Isaac,” I snap, “why are you laughing at me?”
The sound of bed springs careens me back to the moment. The panic I felt just moments ago has transformed to red-hot anger.
He laughs again and continues, “Is that what you want, Dr. Carello? You want me to tell you we have no shot? That we’ll never be the real thing?” His voice is quieter now.
“Y-yes. Yes, I do,” I stammer.
“Okay, fine. There’s no chance of anything happening between us.”
My jaw falls to the floor below me. Panic, to anger, to pure rage.
“That’s it?!” I shout.
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” he retorts, annoyance infiltrating his voice.
I shake my head. Panic, to anger, to pure rage, to utter shock. I guess I got what I asked for.
“Was that all you needed from me, Dr. Carello?”
I’m too stunned to even respond.
“I’ll take your silence as a yes. And where will this fine young man be taking you tonight, Dr. Carello?”
Is he playing with me?
“Piacersi,” I whisper, completely defeated.
“Please be safe. Men only want one thing, you know.”
And the line goes dead.
Sitting on the couch with my hands tucked under my thighs, I wait for Jake to arrive. I called Carmen and unfortunately got her voicemail, but honestly it might be better that she doesn’t know how Isaac talked to me on the phone earlier. She might actually end up in jail tonight, and I just don’t think my little heart can handle that much more excitement today.
The bell chime echoes through my silent apartment, and I roll my neck in a full circle. “I can do this,” I whisper aloud. I stand up and make my way to answer the door.
Jake is fine. Okay, he’s a nice guy. We matched a few months ago on a dating app, and have talked on and off. I gave up turning down his attempts at taking me out to dinner, and now I'm in this predicament. But Isaac was right. I need to let him go and give another guy a chance to treat me the way I need and deserve. Pining for the unattainable will just limit my opportunities in the long run.
I glance quickly in the mirror beside my front door. My hair looks perfect, but my skirt is far too short. What on earth was I thinking? I roll my eyes at myself and sigh, unlocking and flinging open the door.
Jake stands awkwardly, holding a beautiful bouquet of lilies in his left hand and looking at the ground in front of him.
I feel the tickle in the back of my nose before he even looks up. He simply couldn’t have known that I’m allergic to lilies.
“Hey, come in,” I begin. I step to my right just far enough to let him enter my apartment. I watch him breach the entryway, and silently begin to panic as I realize that this is the first man, other than Isaac, who has been in my apartment since Andrew.
Jake turns around to face me, and extends the flowers out for me to take. The cellophane wrapping crinkles beneath my fingers, and I immediately turn on my heel towards the kitchen to grab my one and only vase.
The kind gesture from Jake is making my skin crawl with discomfort. My nose screams with an impending sneeze.
I stoop down behind the counter to grab the vase out of my bottom cabinet.
Stop it.
Right now.
He’s a good guy.
He’s fine.
Suck it up.
Ugh, what if he sucks?
STOP.
Popping back up into view, I set the vase on the countertop and begin the process of unwrapping and prepping the flowers for their new home. At least until I can get them out to the dumpster…
Jake stands quietly in my living room, examining the photos hanging on the wall above my couch. I pause, watching him take in photos of my family, ones of Carmen and I in med school, ones of me and Isaac. Ones of me and Isaac?
Shit.
“Who are all these people?” he asks curiously, kneeling on the couch to get a better look.
“Oh, just my family. And then Carmen, I’ve talked about her before. She’s my best friend.” I grab a pair of scissors out of the knife block and begin cutting the stems of the lilies.
“Oh right. And then your mom and dad. Who’s this other girl?” Why is he asking so many questions?
I clear my throat and continue cutting, and placing the stems into the simple glass vase. “That’s Chloe, my little sister. She’s about to go on a”—I make air quotes with my free hand—“journey to find herself.”
He hums lightly, continuing to browse. “And your brother?”
Here we go.
“Yeah, my brother Isaac.” I clear my throat again, setting the last flower into the vase. “We should really get going before we miss our reservation!”
Jake stands back to his full height, and I examine his outfit. His pants are just a little too short, and his shirt is untucked in the back. Isaac could never.
Jocelyn.
Stop.
I grab my purse off the island, and take the three steps from my kitchen to the front door. He swerves in front of me and pulls it open, guiding me out with a hand on the small of my back.
If we’re being realistic, I’m probably just starved of human touch, but was that a semblance of a spark?
Maybe this will be okay after all.