Chapter 26
CHAPTER 26
C ursing his own exhausted limbs, Conleth pushed past the kids and counselors streaming the opposite way. The camp bell was still ringing—not the usual three peals to signal the start of the next session, but an urgent, continuous clamor.
“All staff, this is not a drill!” Leonie’s amplified voice echoed around the central square. “We have a code red situation. Counselors, escort your campers to their cabins immediately. Remain hidden until given the all clear. I repeat, this is not a drill!”
Conleth staggered over to the head counselor, bracing a hand against the nearest wall. “What’s going on?”
Leonie lowered the megaphone from her mouth, revealing a worried expression. “The sheriff’s at the camp gates. Says he needs to speak to whoever’s in charge. In person.”
The din from the bell wasn’t helping his migraine. “Where’s Zephyr?”
“Not on site.” Leonie gave him a funny look, like he should have known that already. “It’s his day off, remember?”
“Right. Right.” He winced as a fresh bolt of pain lanced through his skull. “For the love of little red apples, can whoever’s ringing the bell kindly cease? I think we’ve all got the message.”
“Ragvald, you can stop now!” Leonie called across the square. “Conleth, what are we going to do?”
He tried to force his sluggish brain to work. “We can’t turn the sheriff away. Get on the intercom. Tell him we’re opening the gate, and he should drive on up. I’ll meet him here.”
Leonie looked him up and down, the concerned line between her brows deepening. “Are you sure you’re in a fit state to handle this?”
“We don’t have much choice.” Steeling himself, he pushed away from the wall, locking his knees to stop them from buckling. “Do a sweep of the camp to make sure there aren’t any stray kids wandering around, and keep everyone out of sight. I’ll get rid of the sheriff as fast as I can. Go!”
Leonie nodded and dashed away. Conleth tugged at his damp t-shirt, then ran a hand through his hair. He wished he had time to check his appearance in a mirror. Then again, maybe he was happiest not knowing.
Focus . He headed for the camp entrance, calling on years of practice to project a confidence he didn’t feel. Stay in control. Don’t do anything stupid.
A patrol car rumbled up the long approach to the camp, coming to a stop in front of the main buildings. A heavyset man got out, wearing both a uniform, and a distinctly irritated expression. Setting his shoulders, Conleth strode out to meet him.
“Good afternoon, officer.” He offered the sheriff a practiced smile. “I must say, this is something of a surprise.”
The sheriff treated him to a professionally unimpressed stare. At least, Conleth suspected that was what he’d intended to do. The man’s stony gaze got somewhat stuck on his hair.
Well, if his bizarre appearance could keep the sheriff off-guard, so much the better. “I’m afraid we’re rather busy right now, so I’d very much appreciate it if we could keep this brief. How can I help you?”
The sheriff finally managed to focus on his face. “You jerk butts?”
Maybe he was hallucinating this whole day. “Excuse me?”
“I’m here in response to a call. Said I should ask to talk to jerk butts.” The sheriff consulted a small notebook. “A mister…Conleth Jerk-Butts?”
“Ah,” Conleth said, as things abruptly became clear. “Yes. That would be me.”
“Huh. Thought this was going to be a prank call.” The sheriff closed his notebook. “You in charge of this place?”
“Technically, no. But I’m the camp’s business--” Wait, no he wasn’t. His mouth followed his mind, switching tracks before he could stop himself. “Counselor.”
The sheriff’s forehead wrinkled. “What the hell is a business counselor?”
“At Camp Thunderbird, we pride ourselves on supplying a diverse curriculum of enriching activities well beyond those found at traditional summer camps.” Focus, idiot. “In any case, I’m currently the most senior member of staff on site. Though I’m afraid this was a prank call. My sincere apologies for wasting your time.”
The sheriff drew his breath to speak—then paused. He sniffed again, his expression sliding from skepticism to disgust. “What is that godawful smell?”
“That would also be me.” Conleth took a few prudent steps downwind. “A small incident with a skunk. You’ve caught us at something of a bad moment.”
“So I can smell,” the sheriff muttered. “Look, Mr. Jerk-Butts?—”
“It’s Tiernach-West, actually,” Conleth interrupted. “It seems we’re both the victims of a somewhat juvenile prank.”
His pegasus nudged him. Over the sheriff’s shoulder, he saw Paige hurrying up from the direction of cabins. A sullen Archie trailed behind her, shoulders hunched.
“Well, now that I’m here, got to follow procedure,” the sheriff was saying. He opened his notebook again, taking out a pen. “We got an emergency call requesting immediate assistance. Claimed there was a dangerous grizzly hanging around the camp.”
Archie picked that moment to look up and see the sheriff. He froze, as if the full consequences of what he’d done had only just caught up with him.
Oh shit . Conleth couldn’t use his power in his current exhausted state, yet time seemed to slow anyway. No, please, not now -!
Archie was clearly trying to stop himself. But, as Conleth knew only too well, sometimes willpower wasn’t enough.
In a silent explosion of fur, Archie turned into a bear.
“Caller wouldn’t give their name,” the oblivious sheriff was saying. “Wanted to stay anonymous, in case they got in trouble for contacting us. But they said you weren’t taking the bear seriously.”
Conleth snapped his attention back to the sheriff, willing the man not to turn around. “Believe me, I take bears extremely seriously.”
The sheriff made a note. “And you haven’t seen any signs of one?”
With heroic effort, Conleth kept his gaze from drifting past the man’s left shoulder. “If there was a bear around, I’m confident I would notice.”
Paige’s face had gone stark white. She tugged at her brother’s fur, but he seemed paralyzed. Even if she could get him moving, he was barely fifteen feet behind the sheriff. The slightest scuff of paws could attract the man’s attention.
“But let’s not discuss this out here!” Conleth yelped. He back-pedaled frantically, waving his hands in a desperate attempt to keep the sheriff distracted. “Please, follow me. Can I offer you some coffee? Juice? A cheese plate, perhaps?”
To his relief, the sheriff followed him into the central square. “No thanks. Let’s keep this brief.”
“Not too brief, surely,” Conleth said, trying not to watch Paige attempt to drag Archie behind the storeroom. “I’m sure you must have many questions. I’d be delighted to answer them in full detail. Perhaps you’d like to step into my office?”
The sheriff coughed as the breeze treated him to another waft of Conleth’s current unholy cologne. “Rather stay outside, if it’s all the same to you. So you’re claiming this was a prank call?”
“Yes!” Conleth exclaimed as Paige finally managed to get Archie out of view. At the sheriff’s stare, he hastily reassembled his relieved grin into an expression of solemn concern. “Ah, that is, yes. Rest assured, I will be looking into the matter, and I can promise it won’t happen again. Now, I’m sure you’re a busy man who wants to be on his way. Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention. I won’t keep you any further.”
The sheriff gave him another long, assessing stare. Conleth realized he was shifting his weight from foot to foot, one hand tapping against his thigh. In terms of appearing like a trustworthy individual with nothing to hide, this was less than ideal.
“Think I need to ask you a few more questions,” the sheriff said slowly. “You sure you haven’t noticed any signs of unusual animal activity around here?”
“Recently?” Conleth made a show of pretending to think. “No, nothing out of the ordinary.”
The sheriff’s eyes narrowed. “Thought you said you got sprayed by a skunk.”
“Ah. Yes. But don’t worry, it’s long gone. I took personal responsibility for returning it to its natural environment. At speed.”
“No other problems with animals getting into the camp?”
“None whatsoever.” Conleth made a sweeping, probably overenthusiastic gesture, indicating the surroundings. “As you can see, no animals here.”
His pegasus kicked him in the brain. His attention skittered away from the sheriff, belatedly registering what else was in the vicinity. He yanked his hand back to his side.
Too late. The sheriff had already looked up.
There was a long, fraught pause.
“That is to say,” Conleth corrected himself. “No unexpected animals.”
“Meeeeeeeh,” Nancy agreed, helpfully.
“Why,” the sheriff said levelly, “is there a goat on the roof of that building?”
“I expect it was the camp bell. Loud noises tend to startle her.” Conleth kicked his smile up another notch. “Don’t worry, she’s perfectly safe up there. Does this all the time.”
Nancy bleated again, nodding her head.
The sheriff contemplated Nancy. “Why is the goat wearing a t-shirt?”
“She’s the…camp mascot. Very popular with the other campers.” Conleth hastily corrected himself. “I mean, the campers.”
From the way the sheriff looked from Nancy to Conleth, he was now wondering if he’d accidentally taken hallucinogens instead of medication that morning. “You have a mountain goat as a camp mascot?”
“Ahaha.” Conleth broke into a cold sweat. “She does look like one, doesn’t she? But I can assure you, we absolutely do not have a mountain goat as a camp pet. I mean, you’d probably need a special license. Just imagine the paperwork.”
“So you’re claiming that’s a perfectly ordinary goat.”
“I wouldn’t say ordinary ,” Conleth hedged. “That might hurt her feelings.”
The sheriff stared at him. “Sir, are you on drugs?”
“No, but I’d like to be,” Conleth muttered, and then wanted to strangle himself. “Joke! I’m joking. Obviously.”
The sheriff wrote Camp appears to be under the charge of a complete lunatic in his notebook. Probably.
Before Conleth could attempt to rectify the situation—or, more likely, make it even worse—Paige reappeared, notably without either a bear or a brother. Reaching out with his pegasus sense, he found Archie safely tucked away inside the storeroom, no doubt under strict instructions to stay there until he was human.
“Officer,” Paige panted. Conleth prayed the sheriff wouldn’t notice the light dusting of bear fur on her t-shirt. “I’m so, so sorry for this. I take full responsibility.”
The sheriff turned on his heel, clearly eager to speak with someone who wasn’t Conleth. “You the whistleblower who called us about the bear?”
“No, but I know what happened.” Paige offered the sheriff her phone. “One of the campers stole my phone and used it to make a prank call. See for yourself. You can check my number against your records.”
Since Paige had yet to throw jazz hands or start babbling about goats, the sheriff seemed to decide that here, at last, was a credible witness. He dutifully inspected the device, cross-referencing details against his notebook.
“That’s the phone all right,” he concluded. He handed it back to Paige. “You say one of the kids took this?”
Paige nodded. “I think they must have been trying to get Conleth here in trouble.”
“I’m sure they didn’t intend things to go so far,” Conleth put in hastily. “Just participating in the fine camp tradition of practical jokes on counselors.”
The sheriff grunted. “Bit beyond short-sheeting the bed. I’d like to speak to the kid responsible.”
Paige hesitated, her gaze flicking to Conleth in a silent appeal for help. “That’s, uh, not really possible at the moment.”
“We don’t yet know for sure exactly who was involved.” Conleth spread his hands. “As you can smell, it’s not the first time I’ve been the butt of an ill-judged childish scheme. I am not universally popular among the campers.”
“Can’t imagine why,” the sheriff muttered. He tucked his notebook back into his pocket. “Well, when you find out who did it, make sure they appreciate how much trouble they’ve caused.”
“Don’t worry,” Paige said grimly. “I will.”