Chapter Fifteen
Open to Interpretation
Sammy
My father didn’t stop by the following day, and I was as stubborn as he was, so I didn’t bother calling him either. Even when the doctor’s office notified me that I’d need a hysterectomy. I didn’t want to hear it. Not from him, and definitely not from my mother. I just sat around waiting on the other shoe to drop between rounds of online applications. When Menace’s letter arrived, I frantically ripped it out of the envelope. Somehow, I knew my father had gone to see him, even before I read the confirmation.
Samantha,
Is it okay if I call you that? If we’re going to be writing to each other, and you’re going to be crawling around my past, I’m going to need to know I’m writing to the grown woman you’ve become. Not Ziggy’s baby girl.
You see, my mind isn’t for the faint of heart, that goes for memories as well as fantasies.
I’m sorry you faced off with Zig over me. Adding stress to your life was never my intention. I was pleasantly surprised by your letter. It made my day to sit down and steal away with it for a few minutes. I guess I should have warned you about my not being your dad’s favorite person right now. I got myself locked up, and any charges like this bring scrutiny, negative attention, and suspicion toward the club. I ain't never been down for no club shit, though. I’ll tell that freely to any judge or jury.
As you might know, a person can’t even join the Savages unless they’re eighteen or over. This is my first time being charged as an adult. My last offense was at the age of sixteen. Apparently being arrested once in ten years is now deemed reckless.
That’s what Ziggy called me, when he told me to more or less stay clear of your ass.
I guess what I’m saying is, congrats, you’ve moved from prospects laying threats over your honor in high school, to the prez himself issuing them these days!
You know what something like that means to fuck boys, country club chumps, and the lesser of my species?
OFF LIMITS.
I’m just putting the cables on you, beautiful. Don’t pay me no mind.
This desert sunset is everything though in the picture. Fuck. Them colors are gorgeous, I hope I get a chance to see the west coast someday. For what it is worth, I’m glad you came home safely. I’m twenty-five years old. No old lady, that is a title I take a little more seriously than most. In fact, I’ve never recognized one in all my seven years with the club. Maybe my standards are too high?
What’s this about a procedure? Ziggy said a lot, but he didn’t mention that. You good?
As to that other question, yes. I read. When you grow up poor and locked up to boot, you learn to get lost in books if you can. I read most of the books in my school library when I was a kid. I think the last book I read was a Jack Ketchum novel. What about you? What do you like to read?
Lennox
I groaned and rubbed my temples, leaving the letter to lay in my lap.
How ridiculous.
That was the only thought I could adequately process. I knew he’d go down there, but did he really tell him to stay clear of me? I was an adult, a former member of the military. I didn’t need my daddy running off men on my behalf.
After a while, I calmed down enough to find some paper and write him back.
Lennox,
Samantha is what my father calls me, actually. Mostly he did it when I’d fuck up as a teenager. Though, my mother isn’t above trying to hiss it at me once in a while when she thinks it will hold weight in steering me toward choices she’d prefer. My friends call me Sammy Jo.
So, he did come see you? Damn. I’m sorry. I never meant for my family bullshit to be driven down to the jail and tossed in your face. How embarrassing. He thinks I’m some kind of child, I swear.
Yes, that’s exactly the understanding he meant to come to with the local men. Honestly, though, if they cower from him, they probably aren’t worth my time to begin with. Listen to you though, as if you weren’t left looking at me the same damn way when he walked out of that visiting room.
OFF LIMITS.
You’re such a liar, never had an old lady. You must think I was born yesterday, huh?
LMFAO. I can imagine those standards now:
Must not have an intact gag reflex.
Must not ask questions beyond how you want your eggs in the morning?
Am I close? Don’t be shy, let’s hear it. I’m all ears now, big guy.
Ketchum? Intense!
I managed to get into my apartment, finally, and my applications are turned in everywhere. So, I’m hoping to hear something soon.
You wouldn’t care for my reading tastes; I mostly stick to romance. It helps my mind drift off now and then when I need a break. Are you reading anything now?
Sammy Jo
It was shorter than my usual correspondence. I was more than a little disappointed by my father’s actions and needed to process the many trampled boundaries. It had nothing to do with Menace, but I swear, it was the fastest response I’d gotten from him yet. I had a return letter in four days.
Sammy Jo,
You didn’t answer the most important question in my whole damned letter. Girl, are you okay?
I’m not reading anything, which means you get to pick something for us to enjoy together while you’re laid up. I’ll enclose a money order, get us something intense and romantic. Let’s see how our combined tastes mingle, shall we?
Actually, I was not left looking at you as off limits. I’m a man who sees the world for what it is. Now, your daddy ain’t no punk, girl. But don’t get shit twisted, exclusive pussy is still exclusive pussy. Call it what you will, I’m gonna call it what it is. If Ziggy Nash is guarding that ass, it’s as exclusive as one can come, I’m a believer, and can’t nobody convince me otherwise.
No lie. Ask anybody who my last ol’ lady was. They’ll all tell you the same.
No one.
My brother, Henny, is three years older than me, so I knew most of the guys before I patched in. One dude in particular had an ol’ lady that made him look like a fool and I swore I’d never suffer the same. None of the women I’ve met around here are very loyal anyway. They’re for everybody, and that definitely ain’t for me. I don’t mind if women ask me questions. I guess I’d rather answer questions than suffer assumptions.
You’ll get a job lined out; I have faith in you. I bet you get called for an interview before I write to you again. You got this, beautiful!
Lennox
Okay was a loose term. My abdomen had various colored bruises around the belly button and surgical strength glue was holding the left side of my belly shut where they’d made two tiny incisions.
According to the doctor, I still had two ovaries that would need to be checked on, but the cancer was believed to have been removed. Pathology would be confirmed in the upcoming days according to the surgeon.
Menace didn’t need to be troubled with all of that. I’d taken great lengths not to trouble anyone. I took the bus to the hospital, and I rode it home by myself, too.
I’d really hoped the LEEP surgery would be all I needed. I wasn’t ready to contemplate being childless. Just thinking about it made my throat swell a little with emotion. I put my hand on my belly and closed my eyes against the ache, not wanting to become too dependent on the medication they’d sent home.
I took it at bedtime to be sure I wasn’t overwhelmed in the morning and unable to sit up in bed, but that was about it. I hated the way Tylenol tasted in vomit and pain pills had a way of nauseating me. They always tasted the same as far as I was concerned, going down and coming up!
The only good thing about the pain and nausea was that it kept me distracted from my inward pity party. I didn’t know how Menace survived in a cell; I wasn’t used to being this isolated. I wasn’t an overly social person, but I always spoke to a few people throughout the day.
I flipped on the television and tried to distract myself.