21. Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-One
Nila
I don’t know why I’m so mad at him.
Really. I don’t.
And as I sit here, scrolling through social media, staring at the posts of people that I don’t even know in real life, I can’t come to a conclusion. I mean, it was shocking seeing him punch Samuel—even if he was being a jerk...
But...
We’re at an anger management retreat.
Cameron should’ve known better and just let the staff handle it. Because if this gets out to the public, I have no idea how to handle it—and what happens if they figure out it was my fault? It could cost me my reputation.
I lean back against the couch, tipping my head back and closing my eyes.
Why did I let myself get into the mess?
Part of me does find Cameron’s instinct to protect me appealing—maybe even sexy—but the fact he didn’t think it through at all stresses me out. He’s a high-profile athlete, and eyes are definitely on him right now. If this gets out, he could lose his spot on the team...
If that happened, I’d feel so guilty.
I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.
“Can I sit here?” a friendly, deep voice says from above me.
My eyes flutter open and I catch sight of Dr. Shadid, a warm smile on his face. I swear the man always has that same expression on his face. I’m not even sure if it’s genuine. But that’s okay.
“Sure.”
He nods and plops down beside me. “Anything interesting on the internet today?”
I shake my head. “Not really. I just posted a few pictures of the sunset and mountains on Cameron’s social media. I’m trying to keep it light.”
“Ah, while the world is waiting for him to slip up.”
“I don’t think they want him to slip up,” I reason, furrowing my brow. I pull my knees up onto the couch and against my chest. “I think a lot of people want to see him succeed. ”
“Maybe.” Dr. Shadid shrugs, running his fingers along the top of the armchair he’s sitting in. “But people love drama more than anything—they’re always trying to get an inside view into someone’s life. But we both know social media is a fa?ade—you can be whoever you want to be on it.”
“I guess,” I say, not sure I like where this conversation is going.
“We never know someone’s true intention.”
“Right...” I lock the screen of my phone and set it beside me. I have a feeling this isn’t going to be a short conversation.
“We have to trust that they tell us the truth when we ask them.”
I let out a heavy sigh. “If this is about what happened today, I really don’t want to talk about it. Cameron didn’t think about anything when he jumped up and punched that guy the way he did. It was incredibly unnecessary—and what if Samuel presses charges?”
Dr. Shadid laughs. “I don’t think he’s going to—let’s just say, he’s much more concerned about his own image.”
That brings me a little relief, but still. Things leak all the time.
“It could cost Cameron his place on the team.”
“It could, I suppose.”
“It could ruin my reputation if it gets out that it was my fault,” I blurt out, my eyes dropping away from Dr. Shadid.
“Hmm, so you think it’s your fault?”
“No.” I shake my head, but then hesitate. “I mean, kind of. I don’t know what to think anymore. But I’ve worked really hard to grow my career. And this situation has gotten so messy. I’ve let some things happen between us, but I know that when this is over, we’ll have to return to our normal lives.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“Well, it’s just that I travel a lot for work, so I don’t want to be tied down. Plus, Cameron is a client . I don’t date my clients. But even if he wasn’t, we live in different states! A relationship outside of here just feels … impossible . It’s pretty much guaranteed to end in heartbreak.”
“I see.”
Do you?
Do you see?
I open my mouth to say something, but the sound of footsteps coming into the lobby causes us both to look in the direction of the sound.
Tina comes around the corner along with a man in a suit. I don’t recognize the guy, but Dr. Shadid does. He stands to his feet and extends his hand.
“Jefferson,” Dr. Shadid says curtly. “I take it you’re here to speak with Nila.”
The man in the suit—Jefferson—eyes me and then nods. “Yes.”
I swallow hard and stand to my feet to join the rest of them .
“This is our attorney,” Tina explains as I teeter back and forth. “He handles internal incidents and would like to speak with you about what happened today.”
“I’ll let the two of you chat.” Dr. Shadid gives me a nod and then ducks out, heading back down the hallway. Part of me is relieved to see him go, while the other part almost thinks talking to him might be better than talking to this guy.
Jefferson, a lanky man who’s a solid ten years older than me, gestures to the couch. “You can take a seat. We can chat right here. I’m making my rounds and speaking with everyone involved to get this mess straightened out.”
I nod, slowly sitting back down on the couch. “Okay...”
Tina looks at me, sighing. “This is an anger retreat. You can probably imagine we have these kinds of things happen more often than not.”
“Right,” I mutter, running my tongue along my bottom-chapped lip. “What can I do for you?”
Jefferson pulls out a black binder and flips it open before clicking a pen. “Why don’t you just tell me what happened. It’s much easier to start from there.” His tone is blank and unemotional.
He’s completely unbothered by what’s going on.
I recall what happened, explaining as thoroughly as I can, all the while thinking that I might as well be interviewed by a police detective. Tina listens in silence, and the only thing Jefferson does is scribble things down on his notepad. It’s nerve-wracking.
“Did you feel threatened by Mr. McCall?”
“I’m sorry, who?”
“Samuel McCall.” Jefferson never looks up from his notepad.
“Right.” I swallow hard. “I, um, I...” I don’t want to throw anyone under the bus, and right now, I feel like I’m driving it.
He looks up and sighs. “These statements are for our own internal use and may help in the aid of assisting those who are involved.”
“Okay, then yeah,” I admit, thinking back to the shock I felt in the moment. “It was definitely intimidating and caught me off guard. I didn’t mean to trip and fall into him.”
“And Mr. Hastens?”
“What about him?” I furrow my brow.
“Did he intimidate you? Make you feel uncomfortable? Is it true that you’re staying in a cabin with him?”
“Uh...” I try to process the rampage of questions. “I am staying with him in a cabin, though I don’t ... I don’t know what that has to do with anything.”
“Does he intimidate you?”
“No, of course not,” I say, suddenly feeling defensive.
“You don’t feel as though he could hurt you?”
My mouth gapes. “Oh my gosh, no. If anything, I feel ... I feel safe with him. He was just defending me. Samuel swung at him first. ”
Jefferson doesn’t say anything, just scribbles more down onto his notepad. “I see.”
“Cameron wouldn’t do anything to hurt anyone unless they started something with him. I know that. He overreacted, yeah, but he’s not harmful—”
“Thank you,” Jefferson cuts me off. “That concludes your statement.”
“Um, my statement?” I question, wondering if maybe I should’ve called a lawyer to help me out with this.
“It’s just for our records,” Tina says quickly.
“I need you to sign this.” Jefferson pulls out a packet of stapled papers from inside his binder. He holds them out to me, and I eye Tina, who smiles reassuringly.
“It’s a nondisclosure agreement. We have a lot of high-profile guests here, and while we understand that sometimes incidents get leaked, we do our very best to prevent that from happening—for the sake of all parties. We’re here to help people get better, and sometimes those techniques put stress on one’s ability to control their anger. They explode. In a minor incident like this, we like to ensure their privacy.”
I nod, blowing out a sigh of relief as I take the NDA from Jefferson. He hands me a pen and I skim the contract. I know I should probably read into it more, but honestly, I’m just relieved that this place is on top of taking care of the people who come here. That means that not only are they protecting Samuel, but they’re also protecting Cameron from getting in trouble.
And even though I’m still irked at him, I don’t want him to lose his spot on the team—or get in some massive amount of trouble.
Jefferson clears his throat, and I realize I’m still sitting here, the pen hovering over the line I need to sign. “If you would.”
“Sorry,” I nearly whisper before signing my name and dating it. “Here you go.”
I hand it over to him.
He takes it, giving me a slight nod. “I know you’re a social media manager,” Jefferson begins, giving me a less-than-pleasant look. “And there would be significant consequences if any of this leaks to the public.”
My stomach knots up at the jab. “I understand. I don’t want to see anything happen to either of them.”
“Good,” he grunts before shoving the NDA into the binder and standing to his feet. “On to the next, Tina.”
“Yes, sir,” she says and then turns to me. “Cameron will be a while longer. He’s talking to Dr. Shadid and then they’ll be meeting with Samuel. So don’t wait up on him.”
I nod and before I can say anything at all, the two of them head off toward the front doors. I assume they’re going to track every single person down and make them sign an NDA.
It’s clever ... and a lot of work .
I take a long, slow breath and then push myself to my feet. I don’t like the idea of having any more run-ins with people who want to talk about my feelings.
My shoes squeak on the floor as I make my way to the exit. The afternoon breeze is warm, but only because of the sun beating down on my head. My ankle aches, but only a little, as I make my way down the trail and take in the gorgeous view.
I begin replaying all the events that led up to this moment. And I’m feeling just as confused as ever.
I know I have feelings for Cameron.
I definitely overreacted to the way he defended me…
And maybe I’m just reaching. Maybe I’m just trying to find something wrong with Cameron so it’s easier for me to distance myself from him.
Because apparently my default has been to push people away to avoid getting hurt…
I wrap my arms around myself.
I don’t want to fall for someone.
I don’t want to lose someone.
I don’t want to jeopardize my career...
But I do like the way Cameron makes me feel seen—even if that’s in the form of punching someone for yelling at me. It’s over the top, and it was the wrong move to make, and it has the potential to mess everything up...
But also...
Maybe it was a little romantic.
The man makes me feel like a queen, and no one has ever made me feel that way.
Ugh. Cameron.
I sigh as I reach the cabin, pausing on the porch to admire the mountain view once more. My mind wanders to the night I spent in his arms—and that kiss.
Maybe I owe him an apology.