25. Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Five
Nila
Welcome home, Cam!
I read the post from the team on social media, and then immediately exit out of it. He’s back in Atlanta, surrounded by all his friends, family, and teammates. He has people to wrap him up and love on him the moment he walks through the door...
But no one was waiting for me to come home.
My eyes drift across my empty one-bedroom apartment. It’s in a great neighborhood. It’s got all the latest happenings going on around it, but the loneliness is real. I have a social media strategy meeting with Garrett Norris tomorrow and he tagged me in a post about it.
Which has led to an influx of virtual praise.
But not a single phone call. Just messages, likes, and comments.
I set my phone down and lie back, my eyes zoning out on the light over my white duvet. The lighting is perfect for a selfie, but I don’t feel like taking one. All those followers, but none of them really know me. And those who did, I pushed away after Gran died to protect myself from getting hurt.
But I let Cameron know me.
I swallow the heartbreak.
It’s self-inflicted. I’m self-aware enough to know that. I know I could’ve dove off the deep end and tried something with him—and part of me wanted to. I really, really wanted to. But I just don’t see how there’s any way I could do that and chase my career.
My head is at war with my heart, and as my phone rings beside me, I welcome the distraction. I pick it up, surprised to see Brittany’s name on the screen.
“Hey,” I answer, keeping my voice light and vibrant. Considering we haven’t talked in months, I have no clue what this call could be about.
“Oh my gosh, hey!” Brittany beams. “I totally saw that you got a job with Garrett Norris, and that is so amazing. I just wanted to call and congratulate you.”
“Thanks,” I say tersely, my eyes flickering up to the massive window, the warm glow of the setting sun filling my room. “That’s sweet of you.”
“Yeah...” She hesitates. “Are you back in the city?”
“Um, yeah, I just got back a couple of days ago,” I tell her, trying not to sound annoyed by the conversation. I want to talk. I just don’t want to think about anything. “Are you still hanging around here?”
“Yeah, I moved to a flat in Chelsea. It’s not far from your place,” she says. “Are you busy tonight? I know that we haven’t talked in a while, but I really enjoyed hanging out with you.”
“Really?” I blurt, sitting up.
I don’t know why I let the moment of insecurity slip out. But suddenly, I feel kind of bad I pushed Brittany away. I had assumed she only befriended me so she could use my platform to gain more followers.
“Of course. You were just really busy, and I wasn’t all that sure you liked hanging out with me. You’re such the life of the party and I’m kind of ... well, let’s be honest, I am not. I’m like the girl that faceplants every time I try to walk in front of people in a pair of heels.”
I laugh. “I think you’re great, and yeah, actually, I am free tonight. I could go for a night out. It’s been a trip the last few weeks.”
“Oh, perfect,” she chirps. “I can meet up with you at your place around eight. Or is that too early? I don’t know. ”
“That works for me,” I tell her, pushing my hair out of my face. “I’ll be ready by then. I heard there’s a new place opening a few blocks from here.”
“Yay!” she squeals. “It’ll be fun. I’ll see you soon.”
We hang up and I toss my phone to the bed.
I’m not going to bother myself with mindless scrolling anymore.
I have to let Cameron go and play hockey—which is his entire focus. He’ll be better in the end for it, anyway. He probably just got caught up in the retreat and solidarity with me.
But no matter how many times I try to tell myself that, it just doesn’t sit right.
“Hey girl,” Brittany greets me as I step out into the street. Her dark hair is pulled back in a Bohemian-style ponytail, braided around the top.
“Your hair is cute,” I tell her, smiling.
“Thanks! You look phenomenal.” She gestures to my black leather pants and white blouse. “You always do. I swear, it’s like a talent you have. You never look homely.”
“Oh, you have no idea.” I giggle, falling in step beside her. “I have some pretty rough moments. When I stayed in Colorado, I looked like a mountain troll most of the time. There was rarely a day I put on makeup.”
And Cameron still fell for me.
I push the thought away. “It’s good to be back in the city.”
I take in the busy streets and towering skyscrapers that surround us. The honking of car horns and the chatter of people fills the air, a symphony of city life.
“Oh yeah, I bet,” she muses as our heels click against the sidewalk. “The hustle and bustle of the city is almost as addicting as the views those kinds of places offer. Were you there with Cameron Hastens?”
His name makes my mouth grow dry. “Um ... yeah, yeah, I was.” There’s nothing in my NDA stating I can’t say that. Everyone pretty much knows I went with him, anyway. That’s no secret.
“I bet that was amazing. He’s such a dreamboat.” She giggles. “Well, if tall, protective hockey players are your type. Did you read the statement they released? Oh my gosh, I think it made all the women swoon that much more over him. Who doesn’t want a fiercely loyal man?”
“I don’t know.” I try to keep the smile on my face, but my hands begin to sweat. My heart aches in my chest, and I’m starting to wonder if agreeing to go out tonight was even a good idea. “But he’s a really good person.”
“Aw.” Brittany looks over at me. “That’s really sweet. Did you get to meet any of his teammates? ”
I nod. “Yeah. They’re really great. I love the camaraderie they have.”
But I really don’t want to talk about them right now.
“That’s so amazing.” I can see the stars in her eyes as she says the words, and I wish I could feel the same. When I originally accepted the job, I was beyond excited—feeling like I had finally made it, but now...
I just wish I could forget it all happened.
“Anyway,” I say as I pull open the door to the tiny chic dive bar. “How’s your life been? What’re you up to these days?”
Her smile fades as she steps inside. “Um, honestly ... I’ve been better.” The drop in her tone is surprising to me. According to her social media, she’s got everything going for her.
“You wanna talk about it?” I offer as we steal a table in the back. “I’m all ears if you need someone to listen.”
She slides into one of the tall chairs. “Well, my boyfriend broke up with me last week, and...” Her voice trails off, and I see the pain in her eyes. “It’s just that this city is so big, but it’s so lonely sometimes. I’m totally jealous of all the connections you have, and I’m so appreciative that you took the time to hang out with me tonight.” She smiles. “So, I’m going to try really hard not to be a downer tonight.”
My lips part. I’m shocked by what I hear. “Oh, there’s nothing to be jealous about here.” I reach across the table and grab her hand, giving it a squeeze. “I recently learned that all that social media stuff doesn’t really mean anything. When I was in Colorado, I had terrible service, so I didn’t have a lot of access to it. And that’s when I realized no one really cares.”
“I care,” she says, squeezing my hand back. “I know I could be a better friend. I just ... I thought you were probably bombarded with people trying to hang out with you and man, the high-profile clients you have. I figured you were surrounded by friends all the time.”
“Quite the opposite.” I laugh, but it’s empty. “But you’re not the only one to blame. I could’ve been a better friend to you, too. I’m sorry I’ve been so distant. And if it makes you feel better, I’m totally lonely and heartbroken tonight, too.” I don’t know why I’m offering my heart. Maybe it’s because I’m getting tired of keeping people at arm’s length all the time.
And I want the kind of friendships that Cameron has.
“Oh no, is it your ex-boyfriend? I saw that you guys broke up... ”
The bartender appears, taking our drink order. We both order Shirley Temples, and as soon as he scurries off to make them, I let out a sigh.
“It’s not my ex,” I tell her. “It’s someone completely new. I just ... I just can’t see myself getting into a relationship when I’m this focused on my career.”
She nods slowly. “I guess I get that, but you know ... what’s the point of having a successful career if you don’t have someone to share it with? I know it sounds silly, but...” She hesitates, pursing her red lips. “I just don’t think that we were meant to spend so much of our lives alone.”
“Yeah, but I can only imagine how a relationship might go. I mean, I think he even got a little jealous over Garrett Norris—I can’t have that. It’ll make work so hard,” I complain, but something about the words makes my stomach tighten...
Like I’m not telling the truth.
“Garrett Norris would make any man feel a little insecure.” She sips her drink as soon as it’s set in front of her. “I swear, I think he might be the poster child of what women want in a man.”
I crinkle my nose. “Minus the playboy thing. I don’t find that very attractive.”
He’s also not nearly as handsome as Cameron.
But I shouldn’t compare them.
“True.” She nods. “That pretty much spells trouble, honestly. I think I’d still give him a chance, though—let him take me on his jet and fly me around the world.”
I shake my head and burst into a giggle. “Well, if there’s a party, I’ll definitely bring you as my plus-one. We’ll see if we can make a night happen for you. I mean, talk about a way to make your ex-boyfriend wish he hadn’t dumped you!”
“Oh, he’d be calling me up and begging me to take him back,” she muses, flipping her ponytail. “But for real, who’s the handsome guy you turned down?”
I hesitate. “I don’t think I should say. ”
Her blue eyes grow wide. “Oh. My. Gosh. Please tell me it’s the hockey player you helped. Please .”
I purse my lips and look down at my red drink. I haven’t taken a single sip. It reminds me of the nonalcoholic wine I split with Cameron. Ugh. Everything reminds me of him.
“It is!” she squeals. “I can’t believe you turned him down.”
“Me either,” I mutter, looking up at her.
The impish smile on her face instantly falls. “Oh, Nila.” She gives me a sympathetic look. “I’m so sorry. You’re really torn up over it, aren’t you?”
I shrug, trying to play it off.
But as I gaze into Brittany’s eyes, all I can think about is the hole in my chest and the devastation I felt when I left Cameron at the airport.
“Yeah, maybe it hurts more than I thought,” I admit, swallowing my wounded pride. “A lot more.”