Chapter 20
Caleb
I usually stay clear of these types of black-tie events. But I wouldn’t miss this one for anything in the world.
Without her knowing it, I glanced over Roxanne’s schedule and saw she would attend Rex’s farewell party. That was all the incentive I needed to buy a tux and come. I’d never pass up the opportunity to see her outside of office hours. Lately, spending time with Roxanne is the only way I feel normal. Or at least as normal as a person like me can consider themselves to be.
But damn…
I was not prepared for how beautiful she would look tonight.
The woman is a vision.
If I had it my way, she’d be in my arms for the rest of the night, just dancing along to the orchestra. I never thought I’d like listening to classical music as much as I did until I had her in my arms. I could fucking dance the whole night through and never get tired of it.
But alas, since this is Rex’s going away party, I can’t keep Roxanne all to myself.
I have to learn to share her with her friends.
I fucking hate sharing.
And to my dismay, Rex didn’t bring her back to me like he promised.
Instead, he passed her along to Trent Nichols, no less.
Argh.
Luckily, Piper has been doing her best to keep my mind off her man dancing with my girl.
Or maybe not.
“Everything okay? You look upset,” she asks worriedly as we continue to sway to the music.
“I’m good,” is my clipped reply.
“Are you sure? Because you look like you are about to kill someone just with your eyes. Who are you staring at?” Piper asks before looking over her shoulder to follow my line of sight. When she sees that my deathly glare is aimed at her boyfriend, she lets out a sigh.
“I know you’re still upset with Trent for suspending you from the team, but he had no choice, Caleb. You made it impossible for him to bat for you with Laurie. And right now, Laurie calls the shots. You have to get past this animosity with Trent.”
“Yeah, whatever,” I reply dismissively, still staring at my girl dancing the night away in another man’s arms. “Are they friends or something?”
“Who?” Piper asks, confused.
“Trent and Roxanne. They look awfully chummy.” I frown.
Piper throws another glance at the dancing pair and shrugs.
“They’ve been friends since Trent became GM for the Guardians. Why?”
“It doesn’t look right. I mean… he’s her boss. Shouldn’t there be a code of conduct or something?”
Piper laughs.
“I’m the last person you should ask. Need I remind you that Trent and I are dating? In fact,” she chews her lower lip, “we’re about to move in together. Officially, I mean.” She finishes with a tinge of pink on her cheeks.
“So you two are solid?” I ask, never wavering my sight from Roxie.
“What kind of question is that?” She laughs. “Of course we are. We love each other. Why are you giving me the second degree all of a sudden, and why…” Before she finishes that question, she looks over at Trent and Roxanne again, realization finally dawning on her.
Piper then turns to me, with a stern expression
“Caleb, don’t even go there,” she forbids with a severe glare.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I defend weakly, unable to pull my gaze off Roxanne.
“Yeah, you do. Otherwise, why would you be staring daggers at my boyfriend for dancing with Dr. Seymour?”
“Her name is Roxanne.”
Roxie, only to me.
“I know what her name is, Caleb,” she groans in frustration. “Look at me,” she demands, clutching my chin to ensure my full attention. “Don’t even think about trying something with Roxanne. She’s not like those bunnies you like to hook up with. She’s your therapist.”
“I’m aware.”
“Are you?” she retorts with a hiked brow. “Because this is how it will play out if you follow the instincts of your dick instead of the head God put on your shoulders. You’ll do something stupid like make a pass at her, and she’ll have no choice but to turn you down. Roxanne will be forced to step back as your therapist and refer you to another doctor because you’ve muddied the waters. Which would be a goddamn shame since she’s the first person—aside from Jack—that has actually got through that thick head of yours,” Piper says before slapping me across the head
“You don’t know that.” I rub the back of my head. “She might not turn me down.”
“That scenario is even worse!” Piper gives my shoulder a little punch. “Because if she doesn’t… if, somehow, Roxanne also has feelings for you and, God forbid, acts on them, then she can kiss her medical license goodbye. Is that what you want? To ruin her career? A career she actually excels at?!”
“I don’t remember you being this violent,” I grumble. “I think I liked you better when we weren’t talking to each other.”
Piper laughs at that.
“Well, I didn’t. I missed you, you idiot.”
“I missed you too,” I admit with a fond smile playing on my lips.
“Of course you did. I’m spectacular,” she says teasingly.
“Humble, too.”
“Why be humble when you can be right?” She laughs again.
“So, does this mean you’ve forgiven me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive, Caleb. Friends don’t hold grudges.”
“Good,” I reply, relieved. “Because I was kind of hoping you’d be my agent again.”
“After some much-required groveling, I’m sure we can make that happen,” she continues to taunt.
“Groveling, huh? No way I can get out of that, huh?”
“Not a chance. Someone needs to keep you on your toes.” She winks playfully.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” I confess, placing a chaste kiss on her cheek.
“What was that for?” she asks, surprised.
“Just me showing a little affection to the best sports agent in the game. I really did miss you, Piper. I’m glad that we’re friends again. I would have hated not having you in my life just because I couldn’t deal. I was a total asshole to you, and you didn’t deserve it. I’m sorry. Truly.”
Piper’s gaze softens, touched by my apology. Even though my words were heartfelt, she’s completely unaware the peck on the cheek was an intentional provocation.
And just as I suspected, not ten seconds after that chaste kiss, Trent shows up beside us, ready to pull his woman out of my hands.
“I was thinking we could go and grab some fresh air,” he says, protectively wrapping his arm around her waist. “It’s getting rather unpleasant in here.”
“I could go for some air.” Piper’s gaze shines back at him. “Are you okay on your own?” she asks me.
“Oh, I’m sure I can find something to entertain myself with,” I smirk, doing my best not to scan the room in search of Roxanne while Piper’s stare is still on me.
“Okay, then. Be good.”
“Aren’t I always?” I throw her man a smug wink.
“Donovan.” Trent nods curtly in farewell with a murderous, black gaze.
“Nichols,” I tease.
I watch Trent hurriedly pull Piper away while I remain rooted to my spot.
“You know… if you want your spot back on the team, you won’t win any brownie points with Nichols by putting the moves on his woman,” Nate announces behind me, making me aware of his presence.
“Trust me, big guy. I have no intention of making any type of moves on Piper.”
“Glad to hear it. I would hate to have to identify your body if it were the opposite. Trent doesn’t seem the type to let a man live if he so much as looked at his woman in the wrong way.”
“He does give off that impression, doesn’t he?” I chuckle. “And what about you? Are you as possessive with Lottie as Trent is with her best friend?”
“You better believe it.” Nate laughs, not one bit ashamed to admit it.
“I see that married life is treating you well.”
“Best thing that could have ever happened to me, I can tell you that much.”
“I’m happy for you, Nate. Truly. You deserve it,” I say in earnest.
“Thank you?” he says, staring at me in confusion.
“What? Do I have some goo on my face?” I ask hurriedly, wiping my face.
“No… it’s just that…” he struggles to explain. “I don’t know. You just look and sound different… almost… fuck, I can’t believe I’m actually going to say this, but you look like you’ve grown up.”
“You look surprised.” I laugh. “It was bound to happen eventually.”
“I guess. I just never expected to see it in my lifetime. Jack would be amazed if he saw you right now.”
My happy disposition goes south at the mention of my brother.
“Unfortunately, he’s not here to see it, is he?” Nate’s face falls with my statement.
“No. I guess he’s not,” he mutters.
“Let’s not talk about shit we can’t control, okay? It’s a party. A happy fucking occasion. How about we just concentrate on that?”
Nate nods, still staring at me like I’ve grown a second head.
“You really have to stop that shit, Nate. I’m starting to gain a complex over here.”
“Sorry. I’m just proud of all the progress you’ve made lately. Really proud.”
I’m not sure why his approval means so much to me, but it does.
Maybe it’s because if Nate is proud of me somehow, then Jack would be too.
But I still have a long way to go to be proud of myself.
And one way I can make that happen is to own up to my mistakes.
There’s one person in particular that definitely deserves my apology.
“Have you seen Bellamy around? Did he come to this at all?”
“Why?” Nate asks suspiciously.
“Don’t get your panties in a twist, big guy. The only reason why I’m asking is because I owe him an apology. He didn’t deserve how I welcomed him to the team. That shit was beyond reprehensible. I need to set things right by him and apologize for my behavior.”
“Okay, who are you, and what have you done to my friend Caleb?” Nate chuckles with a wide, proud grin stitched to his face.
“Like you said—I’ve grown up. And part of growing up is taking responsibility for one’s actions. So, is he here or not?”
Nate’s eyes shine bright with pride as he points to the corner of the room.
I immediately see Bellamy hiding in a corner, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else but here. And from what Roxanne confided in me, I’m sure he would rather be beside his family tonight than attend a fucking party. But seeing as it’s Rex’s last bash, it would have looked weird for him not to show up. Though I guess I’m at fault for him hiding out in a dim-lit corner, too. I sure didn’t make things easy for him to feel that he’s an integral part of the team.
“Wish me luck.”
“You don’t need it. You’re doing the right thing.”
I offer Nate a genuine smile and make my way across the room where Bellamy is nursing a glass of expensive pink champagne. When he sees me walking towards him, I watch his spine go ramrod straight and puff out his chest, already on guard.
Guess I deserve that.
After all, I did sucker punch the guy when he wasn’t expecting it.
Hardly a fair fight.
“Hi,” I greet once I reach him.
“Hi?” he retorts, sounding confused with such a familiar greeting.
“Mind if we talk for a bit?”
“That all depends? Are you going to punch me again?”
“No. My fighting days are over.”
“Excuse me if I don’t believe you.”
Fuck.
This is going to be harder than I thought.
“All I need is five minutes, Bellamy. You have my word that I won’t try anything funny. I just want to talk.”
His eyebrows pinch together at the center of his forehead, thinking long and hard about my unexpected request. Thankfully, he must see the sincerity in my eyes because, a minute later, he relents with a quick nod.
“Fine. Follow me,” he says curtly before walking outside to a secluded veranda.
I get it. He probably thinks that me wanting to talk with him is just a ruse to punch him again. And if that’s the case, it might as well happen where lingering eyes won’t see. And when I say lingering eyes, I mean management. After all, I did get suspended for throwing the first punch. No way Bellamy will risk his spot on the team for throwing one of his own in retaliation.
“Okay. You got my attention. Talk,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest.
“That’s fair. There really is no need for me to beat around the bush. I should just come out and say what’s been weighing on my mind. The way I acted that day in the player tunnel was completely uncalled for. It was childish of me to act like that, not to mention completely unprofessional. I should have welcomed you with open arms and made you feel like you belonged here. That’s what Jack would have done. That’s what any good person would have done. And I… fucking did the opposite. And for that, I’m sorry. I really am.”
Bellamy just stares at me, wide-eyed in shock.
“I must admit that’s not what I expected you to say when you asked to talk to me. In fact, I thought you wanted to punch me again for getting you suspended.”
“That wasn’t on you, Bellamy. That shit was on me. I’m the one that fucked things up. I was already on thin ice before you came along. Trust me.”
“So your problem was never with me?”
“No. I would have punched any motherfucker that I thought was trying to steal my brother’s legacy. Like I said, this was never on you. I’m the asshole here. All I can do is apologize for you getting caught in the crosshairs of me and my bad temper.”
“Thank you,” he retorts, honestly grateful. “Not everyone would have had the courage to admit such shortcomings.”
“I’m just sorry it took me this long to apologize.”
“Not a problem.” Bellamy looks at his feet in thought before lifting his gaze at me again. “How is he? How is Jack?”
“Hanging in there,” I say, because what else can I say? That my brother is still in a coma, fighting for his life? Nah. That would just bum him out, and he already has enough on his plate as it is.
“I always liked him, you know? Hell, I even looked up to him. Even when I was playing for the Mavericks, with everyone telling me that we were enemies, I couldn’t help but admire him. I always thought Jack was the kind of player everyone aspired to become. He was one of the good ones.”
“Still is,” I correct.
“Yes. You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” I shrug, shoving my hands into my pockets.
“I… umm… I know what you’re going through,” he adds sheepishly. “Losing family, or even the risk of losing someone you love, well, it… changes you. Makes you look at life differently.”
I nod, not wanting to tell him I know about his daughter.
If Piper and Trent have been doing everything in their power to keep his daughter’s condition under wraps and away from the public, then it’s because Bellamy wants it that way.
And I get it. God, do I get it.
It’s bad enough that you have to pretend your world isn’t falling apart whenever you’re harassed for autographs or selfies anytime you visit your loved one at the hospital, then have the added pressure of announcing it to the world just to see your family’s misery being broadcasted on the eight o’clock news.
Been there, done that.
If respecting his privacy is what Bellamy needs, then that’s exactly what he’s going to get from me.
“So, are we good?” I ask, extending my hand.
“Yeah, man. We’re good,” he says, giving me a handshake.
“Good. I’m glad. And now that you’re a part of the Guardians family, you should know we take care of our own. If you need anything, and I mean anything, just give me a shout. And I’ll be there.”
His eyebrows raise in surprise, his eyes widen with astonishment, and his mouth slightly drops in awe, touched by the words he just heard.
“I have to say… this is not how I expected our second interaction would go down.”
“Yeah, well, I’m full of surprises. You’ll get used to it,” I joke lightheartedly.
“If you don’t have any more surprises for me, I think I’ll return to the party. I don’t intend to stay much longer, but I’d like to talk with Rex before I leave. Care to join me?”
I follow Bellamy’s outstretched finger to the door leading into the ballroom, and my heart skips a beat when I see Roxanne standing there, her eyes locked with mine.
“Actually, I’m going to stay right here for a while.”
Bellamy gazes at me, then turns to look at Roxanne and breaks into a smile
“Okay. I hope you and your friend have a good night.”
A good night would be if she allowed me to kiss her tonight.
Roxanne waits for Bellamy to leave before she takes his spot in front of me.
“That was quite impressive,” she says, her golden eyes shining with pride.
“Yeah? Does that mean you’re proud of me, Roxie?”
“It shouldn’t interest you how I feel on the matter.”
I take a step closer to her, my gaze scanning every inch of her perfect face.
“Oh, believe me, Roxie. I’m definitely interested.”
I watch her swallow dryly at the not-so-subtle insinuation before she diverts her attention off me and onto the Boston skyline.
“It really is a beautiful night, isn’t it?”
“I’ve never seen anything more beautiful,” I reply, eating up the rest of the distance between us until our chests are practically touching.
“Stop,” she demands, placing her palms on my chest to keep me from coming any closer.
“Stop what?” I grab her wrists gently, pressing her body against mine.
“You know what.”
“No. I don’t. Enlighten me,” I rebuke coyly, loving every second of watching her cheeks turn bright pink.
“I’m your therapist.”
“I’m aware.”
“So you can’t say things like that to me.”
“What things?” I smirk while drawing circles on her inner wrist with my thumb.
“Things like… like…”
“Yes?” I whisper in her ear, causing goosebumps to rise all over her fair skin. “Like what, Roxie? What can’t I say to you? Should I not tell you that I find you to be the most exquisite woman I’ve ever met? Or that every time you open that beautiful mouth of yours, you blow me away with your intelligence?”
“All of it,” she stammers.
“Would you prefer I lie?” I arch a teasing brow.
“I would prefer that you kept our relationship professional.”
“Professional?” I repeat the ugly word while wrapping one of her loose curls around my finger. “Professional is boring.”
“Professional is safe. It minimizes unwanted risks.”
“And you don’t like taking risks, do you, Roxie?”
“Not when it comes to my career, no,” she deadpans.
“Haven’t you ever heard that all work and no play make for a dull life?”
“I’m serious, Caleb.”
“So am I,” I retort just as gravely. “I don’t know why you encourage me to tell you every thought and feeling that runs through my head in our sessions, but when I insinuate that I find you to be the most remarkable woman I have ever met, you refuse to acknowledge it.”
“I don’t need your flattery. Nor do I want it,” she reprimands, struggling to release her wrists from my grip.
“It’s not fucking flattery if it’s true. Jesus Christ, Roxie, would you stop? You’re going to hurt yourself,” I condemn, worried that she’ll bruise her slender wrists with how fiercely she’s trying to break free.
I mean, I could just let her go.
However, I have the nagging suspicion that Roxie would disappear in a flash if I did.
When she finally realizes I’m not letting her escape the conversation that easily, she stops resisting
“Transference.” She lets out an exhausted exhale.
“Come again now?” I ask in confusion.
“That’s all this is. Just your run-of-the-mill transference. It’s the technical term for when a patient develops feelings, whether positive or negative, towards their therapist. Sometimes, it manifests as romantic or sexual feelings, known as erotic transference. I should have discussed or attempted to address this with you earlier on in our sessions, but I was hoping the phase would fade on its own.”
“You were hoping it would fade?” I blurt out, so shocked that I release my hold on her and take a step back. “Are you honestly going to stand there and attempt to tell me that what I’m feeling for you is a symptom ?”
“You don’t feel anything for me, Caleb. You’re just… confused.”
“Confused?”
“Yes. Don’t you see?” She steps closer to me, placing her soft palm against my cheek, urgency flowing in her gorgeous eyes. “You came to me when you were at your most vulnerable—a dark period of your life where you felt lost and couldn’t make sense of the complex emotions you were experiencing. As I successfully helped you navigate through your struggles, you mistook those normal feelings of gratitude for something more. That’s all this is, Caleb.”
I cover her hand with mine and wrap my arm around her waist, pinning her to me.
“Tell me, Dr. Seymour. Do you always find little ways to touch your other clients like you always seem to do with me?”
Her eyes widen at the accusation, but she doesn’t open her beautiful mouth to refute it either. Nor does she try to break free from my embrace or remove her hand from my cheek.
“That’s what I thought. You can try to rationalize my feelings as being a goddamned symptom, but you and I both know it’s not. I like you, Roxie. I fucking like you. And you’re scared to death because you like me too.”
I gently pull her hand away and kiss her inner wrist.
“I maybe be fucked up in the head, but I still know how to listen to my heart. And it’s whispering your name, Roxie. Yours and yours alone. If that’s too much for you, I understand. But don’t try to gaslight me into believing what I feel for you isn’t real. Because I never felt like this for anyone. And I doubt I ever will.”
She just blinks rapidly at me, my confession stunning her speechless.
“When you’re ready to talk, and admit to yourself that what I’m feeling isn’t one-sided, you know where to find me. Until then, goodnight, Dr. Seymour. It’s been real.”
And with that, I leave.