55. Duke
Chapter 55
Duke
My dislike for Penn Bellamy began sometime around the sixth grade.
For years, his mother came to our home once a week and cleaned. She was kind, and quiet, and brought me portions of homemade baked goods. She was far better to spend time with than my own mother, who is still cold and standoffish, a woman who regularly looks at me and my siblings like she's surprised we exist.
Ms. Bellamy was the only good thing about living in my house. One day a week, I actually wanted to come home from school, because I knew she'd be there.
Until she wasn't. Penn arrived in her place on a Saturday. My mom either didn't notice, or didn't care. As long as she wasn't breaking a nail or a sweat on the upkeep of her ostentatious home, what did it matter to her?
With Ms. Bellamy coming on a weekday, she never had to run into my dad. That meant she never had to see how he acted. How he treated me, his first born. The child he expected everything of. Nothing I did was good enough, no matter how hard I tried. Every A+ grade left him unimpressed, anything lower left him furious.
Penn saw it all. Every Saturday, Penn kept to the shadows of my home, staying invisible. But me? I was in the spotlight. Every cruelty my dad threw my way, Penn was privy to. And then came the day my dad decided I should know how to throw a fastball. Me, the boy who'd never picked up a baseball, suddenly needed this skill. According to my dad, it was imperative .
Throwing a baseball was not something I took to with a natural aptitude, and I'd never seen my father so angry. What he said that day is etched into my heart, my brain, my soul. How is it possible I have a son who can't throw a fucking baseball? Then, he threw it at me. It hit me in the side, just left of my stomach, and I dropped to the ground. He stood over me, telling me to get up, but how could I when dragging a single breath through my body felt impossible?
I gasped for air while his face contorted into a mask of disgust. He walked away, leaving me there in the hot sunshine, and then I saw him. Penn. Standing in an upstairs window.
Rage like I'd never felt filled me. Somebody with a loving mother, my own classmate, had witnessed the most embarrassing moment of my life. After that, he tried to be nice to me, but it only made me angrier. Meaner. I didn't know what to do with the overpowering emotions I felt, and so many of them were directed at Penn. I belittled him for cleaning our house, I made messes on purpose, and one day, after my dad yelled at me for forgetting to close the garage door, I made a comment to Penn about his mother. You must hate your life, Penn, trying not to let people see that your mom can't get off the couch.
The second the words left my mouth, I hated myself. What I really wanted to do was ask Penn if his mom was ok, but I was too jealous. Too sad that he got one good mom, and I got two bad parents.
It was only a handful of months later that Penn and Daisy got in that car accident, and soon after, Penn and his mom left town.
If it weren't for a few too many celebratory whiskeys after a particularly lucrative acquisition a few years ago, my dad would've never admitted what he'd done. The money he gave to Daisy's dad to get Penn and his mother out of the picture. To this day, I don't know why he did it. His lips might've been loosened enough to tell me about it, but he zipped them up after that.
My dad may be harboring a secret, but I know my motivations behind what I'm about to do.
There are two exits from the room where Daisy is getting ready, one that leads inside the building, and another that opens to the outside. In an effort not to gain the attention of the wedding guests, I am approaching from the outside.
"Daisy?" I knock on the door.
She opens it one second later, as if she'd been waiting for me.
"I just read your text messages," she says, breathless. Her eyes are red-rimmed, her makeup smeared around the edges. She wears a knee-length white silk robe. On her feet are fuzzy pink slippers.
Daisy has been my friend since before I can remember. We've always been solid, and we thought this plan we concocted was solid, too. But Daisy was hurting when she agreed to all this, and she was anticipating future pain. I was thinking about one thing only: get my overbearing, intrusive family off my back. From my father I've only seen stoicism and displeasure, but the day I told him I was going to marry Daisy, he almost smiled.
No matter what this is going to mean for me, and admittedly, the end results will be substantial, I can't go through with it. I care for Daisy too much to put her in this position, relegating her to a life of pretense and lies, and giving her a husband who doesn't love her as she should be loved. Penn's return has shaken me, displacing all that had sunk to the bottom. Daisy has somebody who will love her the way she deserves. She loves him back, I see it in her eyes, in the way her body goes slack when he's around. It's her soul settling into his. They were made for each other. How can I stand in the way of that?
"Daisy, I think we should talk."
She steps back, allowing me in. I freeze mid-step when I see her parents in the room. Coughing, I say, "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. St. James."
Daisy's mom leans over, kissing my cheek and patting it affectionately. "I really wish you would call us by our first names."
"You know I'm not allowed to," I smile sadly at her, because I can't muster up anything happier.
"Pfft," she sasses. "Your dad and his stupid rules." Her gaze swings between me and Daisy. "We'll leave you two alone now. You have a lot to discuss. But, Duke?"
"Yes?"
Mrs. St. James looks at me fondly, the way my mother never has. How terrible for her to be the one on her way out of the physical world, when she still has so much love to give. "Daisy told us about your arrangement. It was," she falters, "half-witted, but well meaning. And partly my fault, I've been filling Daisy's head with the importance of true love since she was a little girl." She shakes her head. "Here I thought I'd learned all the lessons I needed to in this lifetime."
Mr. St. James takes her by the hand, and she leans on him. "I wish you the very best, Duke. I wish you love, and happiness, and maybe someday you'll get the chance to tell your dad and your grandfather and the board at Hampton & Co. that they can fuck right off.”
Daisy gasps. I chuckle. Mr. St. James rubs his thumb lovingly on his wife's chin. "That's my girl," he says to her.
She winks at him. "Still got it."
They leave the room. Daisy’s scared eyes find mine. "Duke," she whispers.
"We aren't getting married today, Daisy."
Her head moves slowly back-and-forth. "No, we aren't."
I open my arms, and she sails in. "What are you going to do about your dad? The company?"
"Take your mom's advice."
She quakes with quiet laughter. "Seriously, though. What will you do?"
I shrug. I haven't figured that part out yet.
We're quiet, and then Daisy asks, "Are you going to press charges on Penn for punching you?"
I frown at the top of her head. "What? No."
"Your dad told him you were going to."
This is news to me. The only reason I told him the truth about what happened is because he was in my office and relentless, like a dog with a raw steak held just out of its reach.
"I guess my old man paid Penn a visit. I don't know why I'm surprised."
Daisy steps back, turning her attention to her reflection in the mirror. "He offered to buy Penn's house, plus twenty percent." She wipes under eyes with a tissue, cleaning the smeared makeup.
"Of course he did. To him, all you have to do is throw money at a problem, and that solves it." I rub my fingers over my temples, at the dull ache that's starting. "It's almost poetic, in a sick way. He fronted the cash to get Penn out of town fifteen years ago, and here he is, trying to do it again."
"That's it," Daisy breathes, motioning wildly with her hands in front of her chest. "That was the connection between you and Penn. I could not figure it out." A few strands of hair have come loose from the pins holding up her hair, framing her face. "Between our current lies, and their old lies, I have been so confused trying to piece it all together."
"I think the picture is now complete. And I apologize for not telling you, but to be honest, I don't understand why he did it." The noise outside the door has increased as we've been talking. The guests are in the main area, chatting animatedly. "What do you think we should?—"
Above the low hum from beyond the door, a loud voice rings out. It's followed by a second voice, shouting.
"There is no backing out!"
"There will be if I say there is!"
"My son is getting married today!"
"Not to my daughter!"
Daisy and I look at each other, and we do the only thing we can do in this moment. We laugh.
"I guess we don't have to make an announcement now," Daisy says, wiping under her eyes. She removes her engagement ring and hands it to me.
I place it in my pocket. "As much as I would like to escape out the other door and hightail it out of here, I'll go out there and deal with them." My gaze flickers to the exit that leads outside. "Take this as your chance to get away."
Daisy tips her head, listening to the voices of our fathers who are still yelling at each other. "Normally, I'd say we should present a united front, but I might take you up on your offer."
I reach for the door handle, but Daisy stops me. "Duke, you know how much you mean to me. How much you've always meant to me. It's not lost on me what you're doing for me right now, and for Penn. I hope you know that I will return the favor for you, whenever you decide to man up and go after the woman you love."
"I appreciate that, Daze." I open the door, and what I hear next has me hustling down the small hallway, careening around the corner into the large room set up for a wedding ceremony. Though I'm here for a reason, I allow myself the briefest glance in the direction of the woman I can't have, but that's all I get. The tiniest morsel before I turn my attention to the irate man at the top of the aisle.
"You," my father growls in Penn's face. "I told you to leave town."
Penn glances at my dad like he's nothing more than an annoying fly. Daisy's dad steps between Penn and my dad. "Go somewhere else with your red-faced blustering."
My dad reaches for Penn, but Penn shakes him off. His eyes are on me, hurrying across the room. I don't know what's going to happen next, but I need to diffuse it.
"She loves me," Penn shouts, coming to life as I get closer. His gaze is fierce, his lips a hard line. I stop in front of him, and his chest puffs out. He's ready to take me on, fight his way to Daisy, slay any dragon.
Just like she deserves.