Chapter 1
Oliver
“Come say bye-bye to Uncle Ollie,” Nathaniel singsonged. “Give him a big hug!”
“C’mere, peanut-butt.” Grinning so big my cheeks hurt, I crouched down and outstretched my arms to the dark-haired little girl, who squealed with delight.
She ran over, her shoes tip-tapping as fast as her short legs could carry her.
She collided with my chest and I scooped her up. “Kennedy Lynn, I gotta leave.”
“Why?”
“I got stuff to do,” I told her.
“But why?”
“Because.”
“Because why?” Apparently “why” was her favorite word.
“I gotta go home so I can get up and go to work,” I explained.
“If I don’t go to work, I don’t make money and you want me to buy you presents, riiight?
” I waggled my eyebrows, making them jump.
She giggled and hugged me tight around the neck, and let me tell you—if you ever feel like nobody loves you? A hug from a kid will do the trick.
“Be back?” she asked, bright-eyed and hopeful, and who could say no to a face like that?
“Promise.”
“Bye-bye, Uncie Ollie.”
“Bye, princess. Love you.” With one last squeeze, I let her go and stood.
“Alright there, Ollie?” My best friend, Mackenzie Weaver, patted me on the shoulder when he saw me rub at my nose. Damn it. I couldn’t have been one of those stoic, unemotional Alphas who never shed a single tear. Nope, I was the kind of guy who cried over Disney movies. Lucky me.
I sniffled. “Yeah. Oh, yeah, I’m good. Just, uh… Got some dirt in my eye.” Mac and his fiancé Nathaniel shared The Look. I scowled. “Oh, shut up, both of you. I’m allowed to get a little sappy. She’s my goddaughter, for Christ’s sake.”
“Goodbye is not forever,” Nathaniel pointed out, tapping his long fingers over his bottom lip. He raised a brow. “Besides, it’s not like you live a thousand miles away. You can come visit more often, you know.”
I huffed. “I know, but I’ve got work, and…” I trailed off with a sigh. “You’re right. I should come around more. It’s just…” Hard. It was hard. Harder than I ever thought imaginable. Seeing Mac and Nathaniel together? Happy? It made me happy, but it hurt too. It made me second guess everything.
Like a mate and children. Until Kennedy came into my life, I was pretty damn certain I never wanted kids, but now…
My gaze strayed to Nathaniel, to the slightly-there bump beneath the Omega’s long-sleeved t-shirt.
Soon, their happy little family of three would be expanding, and I was the one who’d made that miracle possible.
Well. My sperm did. I was their donor, because Mac was sterile and his mate desperately wanted a large family.
They were my friends and I wanted to help. I didn’t regret it, don’t get me wrong.
I just wasn’t sure I’d be able to handle being around as much, once the baby was born. Maybe that made me a selfish prick. I didn’t know. I didn’t really want to.
I swallowed the emotion packed tight in my throat and offered a lopsided smile. I hated the way my friends were staring at me, like they saw right through my happy facade to the deep well of loneliness underneath.
I chin-nodded to my car. “I should probably go. Don’t wanna be late.”
“Thanks again for bringing Kennedy’s stuff home. She would’ve never gone to sleep tonight without Mr. Hop…” Nathaniel looked pointedly at the pink-furred bunny rabbit dangling from Kennedy’s hand by a single paw. “I can’t believe I forgot it. Pregnancy brain?”
“No problem,” I murmured.
Mac flung his burly arm around my shoulders in a half-hug. “Don’t be a stranger, Ollie. This little girl thinks the world of you, and she’d be thrilled to have you come around more often.”
“Thanks,” I choked out, mentally retreating. “See you later, Mac, Nate.”
“It’s Nathaniel!” the Omega snapped back, which is why I called him that in the first place. I raised a hand in a wave, already headed down the drive to where my Nissan was parked.
Sleek and shiny, its pumpkin-orange paint was flecked with micro-glitter, which made it glisten in the sunlight. Or at least it did when it wasn’t thirty degrees and dreary out. I glared up at the darkening sky, which had begun to spit snow.
Fuck, I hated winter.
The weather only fueled my mood’s downward spiral. As I drove, my mind wandered back to my friends. For as long as I’d known Mac, he’d always been unwaveringly confident in what he wanted: A family of his own. A mate to cherish. Little ones to spoil rotten.
For me? It wasn’t so black and white.
I’d always been the guy that everyone loved to hang out with.
I was witty and fun-loving, and I enjoyed clowning around, but when it came to relationships?
I was a lost cause. Being single didn’t used to bother me.
In fact, I enjoyed it. It meant that I could flirt around with everyone, pick and choose who I wanted to spend my nights with.
Now that I was getting older, I was beginning to realize just how picky I was, and the loneliness didn’t help matters. It only served to remind me that I’d made my bed, and now it was time for me to lay in it.
Alone.
And it wasn’t like I hadn’t tried. Every Omega I dated ended up being a dud, and honestly, until Kennedy came into my life, I wasn’t even sure I wanted kids.
But now? All I felt was a gnawing ache in my heart whenever she hugged me or called me “Uncie Ollie,” knowing that I might never find that happiness that Mac and Nathaniel had seemed to achieve.
I wasn’t even sure how to go about getting that for myself.
No. Now wasn’t the time to dwell on the negatives. I had a date tomorrow, after all. He was cute and seemed pretty nice, though I had the feeling that he was only on MatchR to find a fuck-buddy, but you never knew about these things. Maybe I’d get lucky and hit the jackpot with…DaddysBoi91.
I went home and binge-watched a couple episodes of The Office in an attempt to lift my spirits. Didn’t really help, and neither did the three beers I drank before finally calling it a night. I crashed at ten minutes to midnight and was up again in time for my 9-to-5.
But hey, at least the roads weren’t shit? I had to find a silver lining somewhere.
“Just get through work,” I muttered to myself. “That’s all you need to worry about right now. Clock in and get your head in the game.” Staring out the window to the cluster of buildings that made up the health insurance company I’d been working for for over ten years, I groaned.
Just another day in paradise…
“Hey Ollie, you good?” my coworker, Jay, asked over lunch, when he saw me picking at my lifeless tuna salad sandwich. I glanced up long enough to grunt and shrug. He clucked his tongue and clapped me on the shoulder on his way past, and I took another bite of the soggy sandwich.
The longer the day dragged on, the more I found myself dreading my date tonight. In all honesty, I kind of wanted to back out and go home, binge Disney+ and eat a bucket of popcorn while watching Brave or something, but…
I wanted to give this Omega a fighting chance, so we agreed to meet at one of the clubs in Destiny around seven.
That gave me enough time to run home and shower, and change into something a little more “club appropriate” but damn, I didn’t even know what that was anymore.
I was so out of the loop, and I wasn’t even sure when it’d happened.
Dressed in a pair of too-tight jeans—I definitely hadn’t accounted for all that popcorn I’d been eating these past couple of years—and a form-fitting t-shirt, I waited for my date at the bar.
It wasn’t long before he strutted up. He was tall and lean, with legs for days, all poured into a pair of fuck-me leather pants and an off-the-shoulder mesh top.
His hair was gelled into messy spikes, brown with sandy highlights.
He glanced around the bar before his gaze landed on me, and I was pretty sure I saw a note of regret in his baby blue eyes.
Damn. I didn’t look that bad, did I?
“Oliver,” I said, offering a hand.
“Landon,” he chirped back. “Wanna buy me a drink?”
“One of many, I’m sure.” We ordered and, drinks in hand, retreated to the dance floor.
The dance music they were blaring had such a deep bass-note that I could feel my heart literally throb in my chest, like the music was a part of me.
Except it was always one heartbeat off tempo, and it unnerved me.
We danced together for awhile, our bodies swaying and grinding in time, but it was just…
Wrong. Maybe four or five years ago, this brunet could’ve done it for me. We could’ve had a few drinks, danced our asses off, and then I might’ve taken him back to my place, where we’d have mind-blowing sex with a post-coitus cigarette.
But not now. Not anymore.
“Excuse me,” I mumbled before escaping to the men’s room. It only muted the throbbing pulse of the music. My heart jumped in my chest, clawing for freedom. I splashed water on my face and gripped the sink in an attempt to chill out.
By the time I came back out, Landon was waiting for me. He cocked his head, sizing me up. “You wanna ditch and go back to yours?” He bit his bottom lip, drawing it into his mouth in a sort of half-pout, half-smile.
“Nah, I think I’m gonna head out.”
“What?” He blinked. “Ditching me already?”
“Sorry. It’s not you.”
“Obviously.” His nostrils flared, and for a moment, I thought he might go off on me. Then he glanced around the nightclub and shrugged. “Your loss,” he purred before waltzing back into the crowd, and it opened like a sea to welcome him home.
My chest ached with a sadness I couldn’t quite describe, and I headed home with a head full of jumbled thoughts and nowhere to put them.