4. Chapter Four
Chapter Four
K ai shame-walked to the munch.
After the way he’d bolted like a baby lamb after the class at Whipped, he’d debated on never returning. If he ran into Sloan again, the embarrassment would be too much, and Sloan worked here, for fuck’s sake. Except today was the first low-pain day in the past week, and he didn’t want to waste it rotting away in his apartment by himself.
Fucking lupus.
He ran his hands through his hair, déjà vu slamming him in the chest. The door for Whipped came into view, and like before, his heart hammered hard. However, he wasn’t going to back down.
Ever since he’d gotten the diagnosis, it felt like he’d been robbed of his personality. The snark, the spunk, the confidence he used to have had all been zapped away. Instead, he was left fighting to paste on a regular face, to perform as if this underlying level of pain that made him more irritable or exhausted him more frequently didn’t exist.
Today was one of the few days lately when he wasn’t feeling like shit, so he would try to reclaim one little piece of his confidence.
He yanked the door open, the scent of coffee luring him deeper in. The munch was bustling today, most of the tables filled. Whipped’s monthly Sunday munch was a popular one, and given Whipped was a mecca for the local scene to begin with, folks congregated here with an infectious ease.
His gaze bounced around to the people in attendance, seeking out Sloan. Running into Ezra wouldn’t be an issue because Meg had passed his number along to the guy. Ezra had already messaged him, and they’d begun a brief exchange. The class had made him realize not only how out of depth he was with kink in general but also that if he wanted to explore his submissive side, he’d need to do that one-on-one with a private partner.
“How was the class, babe? I expect a full report.” Fin swaggered up to him, their thumbs hooked in the waistband of their cargoes and a devil-may-care grin on their face. They’d run some product through their short purple hair, and in the afternoon light streaming through the windows, the few freckles on their nose were more visible.
“Well, I made it through the whole thing.” He bit back that he’d fled after Sloan propositioned him. Fuck, he regretted that so badly. The action he had with his hand later hadn’t been satisfying in the slightest, and all he could think of the entire time had been the hour of touching Sloan’s muscular, toned body.
Except he’d never slept with anyone but Shelby.
They’d been divorced for six months now, and he’d been living here for two, but in the whole life upheaval, he hadn’t gotten the chance to hook up. Honestly, he hadn’t wanted to either. With lupus, flare-up days were unpredictable, and the last thing he needed was to go home with someone, only to find out his joints were crapping out on him, and he wouldn’t be able to come because the pain level was so high. He’d gone from easy breezy to buzzkill in the span of a year.
“Go get yourself a drink and come sit at my table,” Fin said. “I demand more details than that.”
As much as Kai wanted to disobey, he didn’t have an alternative. He was getting to know folks around here better, but he still didn’t have the confidence he had back home when he walked into the bar full of locals. Some days, the volume of people in San Francisco made him feel like he was drowning or lost.
Other times, he needed the distance.
He walked up to the coffee bar, where Micah stood. Before he could get his order out, Micah held up a cup.
“Mocha again?”
Kai licked his lips. He’d ordered it the last two times because A. the drink was really good, and B. he had an insatiable sweet tooth, but if the barista knew his order, he was getting into too much of a routine. “Would I wreck your world if I wanted a regular latte today?”
Micah snorted. “Oh no, make my job easier. What a hardship.”
The sarcasm flowed with this crew, which had made Kai comfortable from the start. Micah was a gorgeous guy with thick curls, big hazel eyes, and pouty lips, and he was very, very smitten with his Dom, Parker. Micah tamped the espresso and brewed the shots with a fluid grace, moving with the ease of experience. Kai glanced over to the tables to see which one Fin expected him at.
They sat in the back corner, a spot left open. Mags had parked there, as had Eva, and someone else whose back was turned to him. Based on the blond hair and the trim physique, Kai had a feeling he knew who it was. His stomach flip-flopped like a fish on land.
“Here.” Micah passed over the latte. “Go have fun.”
“The eighteenth-century meaning for fun is to cheat, so I’ll give it my best shot.” Kai paid. With the extra time on his hands, he’d been diving into his old history books.
Micah lifted a brow. “Yeah, your fact is the antithesis of fun. Off with you.”
Kai clutched the latte tight, trying to build his nerves. He strode toward Fin’s table and the open seat, which was opposite of Sloan, of course. One of these days, he’d be here and not a total chickenshit, but today was not that day. Fin waved at him. Before he could slide into the spot beside them, Pixie popped over and squeezed right between Fin and Eva.
“Come over here, Kai,” Fin said. “You can sit next to Sloan.”
Of fucking course.
His cheeks heated, and Sloan turned around. The moment their gazes met, electricity rippled through him. Fuck, the guy was so damn pretty, and Kai couldn’t forget the way he’d felt under his hands—decadent. Sloan’s low moans, how he’d melted onto the table as Kai and Ezra had touched and teased him, had been emblazoned in his memory as permanent spank bank fodder.
“Don’t worry. I’ll only sit on your lap if invited,” Sloan teased. The sensual curl of his voice, his eyes lighting up with a hint of a challenge, stoked fires in Kai he’d thought long since dormant.
“And what if I call your bluff?” Kai slid into the seat beside Sloan and pushed the chair back. His heart thundered hard, the sound deafening in his ears, but he wanted to reclaim a bit of himself after how he’d run from the class last time .
“Then you’d better be prepared for Sloan in your lap the rest of the munch cos that boy is needy,” Eva drawled. “I made the mistake before.”
“If the invitation is there,” Sloan said. Kai tipped his head in a nod. Even though his nerves were tap dancing, the sizzle of fresh, new energy flowed through him too. Of being bold and taking the risk. He spread his legs a little, making his intention clear.
Sloan’s blue eyes lit up, so goddamn entrancing, and he plunked right into the open spot. One minute, Kai was sitting there all normal, and the next, he had a lap full of Sloan, which was more than he’d bargained for. It was a crime for a guy to be that pretty and to smell so damn good, like salt, smoke, and sin. And Sloan settled in, grinding against Kai’s crotch—probably on purpose. Kai froze with his arms down by his sides, but he sure as hell couldn’t go through this whole munch with them locked into place. So he wrapped them around Sloan’s waist.
Kai schooled his features as he tried to ignore the way his cock woke to life. Sloan had a perfect peach of an ass, one his mouth had watered over during the class, and having it pressed up against him was the best torture.
“So, dish on the class,” Fin said as if Sloan wasn’t perched on his lap. Fuck. Kai was pretty sure they’d done that on purpose.
“The sensory class?” Sloan asked. “I got double-teamed by this stud and another newer guy, Ezra.”
“No wonder Sloan’s trying to plaster himself all over you,” Fin teased. “The more, the merrier, right?”
Between Sloan’s tease and Fin’s comment, a barrage of imagery flooded Kai, and his cock hardened on the spot. Right beneath Sloan’s pert ass. Ezra had been hot as hell too, and the idea of fucking Sloan’s ass while Ezra took his mouth had Kai near delirious with want. He’d never even fucked a guy, and now his brain was conjuring up the idea of two at the same time.
Before he could excuse himself to avoid Sloan noticing his prominent erection, Sloan ground his ass down on it, and Kai bit back a moan. Fuck, it had been far too long since anyone had touched him. And those lush cheeks rubbing against his length felt so damn good he could scream.
“Sorry, just a little tough to settle,” Sloan said, his eyes twinkling. Kai squeezed him around the middle, loving how Sloan’s grin widened. His chest fluttered at the back-and-forth between them, the ease of their interplay, something he’d been searching for ever since he left home.
“Behave,” Kai whispered into Sloan’s ear.
Sloan stopped wiggling around, but in a way, his immediate obedience was almost worse. Because holy fuck, he was so damn good, perched on Kai’s lap, his ass pressing against his erection. Kai bet that if he reached around, Sloan would be hard too, and the amount of restraint he had to exercise was staggering.
“Just tease her nipples until she cries,” Eva said.
“What?” He snapped out of the fog he’d been in with Sloan. His arms formed a solid band around Sloan’s waist, but Sloan didn’t seem to mind. The comfortable way he relaxed against Kai’s body saturated him with relief. Like he could still be useful, still protect someone, instead of being a helpless mess half the time.
“Pixie’s a slut for nipple play,” Fin said as if they weren’t talking about Eva’s sub. “We’re debating what to do to her in the next scene we have planned.”
“Both of you?” Kai asked. Fin’s lips curled in a feline grin, and Eva and Pixie gave him soft smiles. Heat rushed through him, a fierce embarrassment .
“A lot of this crew is a fan of group play.” Fin gave a pointed look in Sloan’s direction.
Kai had come from a vanilla heterosexual relationship where they’d had sex maybe once a month. His small town had zero kink scene, even if his best friend had branched out his leatherworking business by selling his leather implements to kinksters around the world. So the idea of any of this, let alone group play, was way beyond what he could’ve imagined.
And yet the concept didn’t make him run screaming in the other direction.
“Sounds like Lupercalia’s made a comeback,” Kai said. Everyone stared at him. Right, Micah had said to tone it down on the historical fun facts. “Roman festival for orgies.”
“Well, damn, that sounds right up my alley.” Sloan leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table. The movement exposed the broad expanse of his back, the line of his spine Kai had wanted to trace with his tongue. The other day, he’d had his hands all over this man for a damn hour, and that hadn’t been nearly enough.
“Sloan, are you going to the Magic the Gathering tournament at Tabletop Tavern next week?” Fin asked, in a whiplash change of the conversation.
“Yeah, I’ll be there, why?”
Kai’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He shifted to pull it out, since phone calls weren’t as common for him, and besides, with the amount of doctor’s appointments he had, he couldn’t afford to miss any.
Shelby.
His good mood spiraled down the drain. That was another call he probably should take. “Hey, I’ve got to get this.” Kai tapped Sloan on the side. “I’ll be right back. ”
“You better. I’ve been spoiled by a cozy seat and don’t want to return to mine.”
Kai shook his head, a grin rising on his face. He pressed Answer on the phone by the time he was halfway across Whipped.
“Hey?” He stepped outside, where the cool breeze smacked him in the face. “Is everything okay?”
“Kai, I…”
Kai found a place to lean against the brick wall outside the building. The conversations always went like this. She’d been happy. She hadn’t understood why he’d left at all. And every time they talked, he felt like a monster for needing to start over. For needing to move somewhere, knowing she’d never follow. Shelby thrived in a small town like Collier’s Creek. She’d bloomed there, and they’d had a lot of fun years together, but their marriage hadn’t fulfilled him.
And when the lupus diagnosis hit, when he literally couldn’t do his job anymore, well, fuck, that had been his opportunity to leave, and he’d taken it.
“There are doctors here who can help too, you know,” she said. The sound stabbed him right in the chest. He wanted Shelby to be happy. He wanted her to move on and find a partner who would light her up the way she deserved. Because they’d just been floating along like sticks down a stream until he diverted the path.
“Shel, you know that’s not why I left.” The ache in his chest intensified. Every one of these calls carved into him a little more, to the point he wondered why he took them anymore. Callous, maybe, but the sooner she realized he wasn’t coming home, the better for them both. “What’s going on?”
“It’s the Spring Festival, and it’s like a punch to the gut this year. That’s where we got engaged. ”
Kai swallowed. He remembered walking right up to her in the middle of the festival and dropping to one knee. The entire town had cheered. But that was a whole lifetime, a different person ago.
Now he was at a munch in the middle of San Francisco, and he’d just been getting hard over Sloan on his lap.
Light-years away from his old life.
“I’m sorry.” What else could he say? The door to Whipped creaked open, and Sloan slipped out. Kai lurched up from his lean, the idea of Sloan leaving without another word making his pulse speed up. “If it’s too painful, skip it, but it could be a great way to meet the right guy.”
To his relief, Sloan sidled up beside him, finding a lean against the wall.
“Hey, Shel? I’ve got to go.” He didn’t want this conversation to stretch longer. It’d been six months now, three since he’d moved, and while he didn’t expect her to find her happiness as quickly, entertaining these calls wasn’t helping. “I’m out right now. But go to the Spring Festival. Guaranteed, you’ll have a good time.”
“Bye, Kai,” she said. The hurt in her voice clawed at his chest. He ended the call. What the fuck else could he say?
“Ex?” Sloan quirked an eyebrow.
“Ex-wife.” Kai speared a few fingers through his hair and stared up at the sky, where the fog rolled through in tufts. “We divorced, and then I moved from Wyoming to…here.”
Sloan let out a whistle. “So you’re a baby bi.”
His skin prickled at getting called out, but Sloan wasn’t wrong. “What gave me away?”
“Mmm, the way you bolted in terror after I propositioned you the other night.” Sloan gave him a cheeky grin. “But I wasn’t sad about sitting on your lap today. I’ve got to head out—meeting my folks for dinner—but I didn’t want to leave without saying good-bye. ”
Kai’s mouth dried as he gripped his phone a little tighter. Disappointment swirled through his veins. He wanted more time with Sloan. Old him would’ve just asked for his number. And yet the moment he opened his mouth, doubts filtered in. Who would want to deal with his ass? Divorced, never knowing when would be a flare day or a decent day?
“Here’s my number.” Sloan pressed a napkin into his hand. “If I’m misreading this, feel free to toss it into the trash. But if not, text away.”
“Thanks,” Kai said, heat flushing through him. “Definitely keeping it.”
“Good,” Sloan said with a wink. “See you around, gorgeous.” With that, he pushed up off the wall and strode away. Kai watched the sway of his hips, his perfect ass, as he walked off.
Maybe his luck was turning around at last.