9. Chapter Nine
Chapter Nine
A fter his last meetup with Kai, Ezra had been hoping for another one.
The text asking him over had arrived at the best possible time.
Tonight’s shift had been a rough one, a resus situation that had gone the bad way. Ezra tried not to bring home those days at work, but when someone died in your arms, it tended to linger. And the worst place when in that headspace was to stay in his lonely apartment.
He hiked his bag of tricks over his shoulder, not giving a fuck he’d come off a long shift. The three cups of coffee he’d pounded once he got home would have to be enough to tide him over.
Kai’s text had mentioned exploring a scene with him, and given Ezra had laid out his parameters—that he only dommed—chances were that meant Kai was interested in trying submission. His blood pumped hot through his veins. Even the way he’d relaxed underneath Ezra’s hands last time had been sexy as hell.
Granted, before they dove into any power exchange, Ezra would need to push about whatever Kai had been hiding last time. He’d clearly been in pain—Ezra had worked long enough as an EMT to gauge—but hadn’t seemed to want to address it.
His body ached a little bit—probably from all the bullshit he shoved aside than any real muscle pain—but he wanted the burn of exertion tonight. He wouldn’t turn down a fuck with Kai, but he was such a baby bi he didn’t want to scare him away either. No, what would work for him just as well was impact, the satisfying swing and thud of anything from a hand to a flogger.
And Kai had seemed curious when they’d talked.
He reached the fresh apartment building and strode up to Kai’s place. Ezra rapped on the door, shifting from side to side. The need for movement swirled through his veins as if he could escape everything he’d seen today. The gurgle in their chest. The way the older man’s eyes filmed over. The clammy skin.
He swallowed hard.
The door opened, and he had to restrain himself from diving inside. Kai wore a gray Henley and butter-soft jeans that looked sexy as hell on him. Unlike the last time, he didn’t have any pain lines around his eyes, and his thick brown hair was fixed with product.
“Hey,” Ezra said, plastering a grin on his face. “Ready to have some fun?”
Kai offered a slanted grin, not as confident as he attempted. The guy was clearly nervous, but Ezra would do anything possible to set him at ease. “Yeah, come on in.”
Ezra stepped inside, and relief cascaded through him at the change of setting. At having a different sort of energy to push and pull against. Some days, he lived with a ravenously hungry darkness, one that would devour him after one misstep. He wanted a roommate, or fuck, someone just for him, but that meant a deeper trust than he was willing to give.
“So, let’s be clear here.” Ezra was ready to cut through any of Kai’s worries. “What do you want from me today? More discussion of domming? Or would you like to experience the other side of it?”
Kai licked his lips, calling attention to how plump and delicious they looked. Fuck. Ezra wanted to taste them.
“The other side of it.”
Ezra’s pulse jumped. He went to Kai’s kitchen and placed his bag in the same spot as before. Then he turned to face him. “I’d love to play with you, but we need to discuss some things first. Your limits with topping aren’t the same as your limits with bottoming. And I need to know any health concerns, anything that’s going to affect your ability to play.”
He stopped there. What would Kai do? As badly as he wanted to run his hands over the sexy-as-fuck man, he wouldn’t do a damn thing with him if he couldn’t be honest. Communication was a benchmark of healthy kink, and Ezra required his partners to be clear. He never, ever wanted to be compared to his fucking brother in any regard. His chest twinged with regret at the reminder that Sloan had never responded, even though that connection had shown such promise.
Kai ran his fingers through his hair, averting his gaze. But Ezra remained quiet, waiting for him to speak up.
“I’ve got lupus,” Kai blurted out. “So I understand if you don’t want to do anything with me anymore—”
“Why would you assume that?” Ezra asked, even though he knew the answer. He’d been working in healthcare long enough to see the way people beat themselves up, devalued themselves for shit they couldn’t help. Granted, he saw more of the trauma cases than folks with chronic illnesses, but he didn’t live in a vacuum.
“Because I never know when I’ll have a bad flare or what might set me off.” He squeezed his eyes shut.
Ezra’s chest spasmed. Fucking hell. Had Kai been torturing himself all this time? He closed the distance between them, placed his fingers under Kai’s chin, and lifted his face up to meet his. “Hey, that doesn’t change a damn thing. Life’s unpredictable as fuck. Kink’s even more unpredictable. How’s that any different from someone having a bad response to a scene and needing to safe out?”
Kai’s lip trembled. “It’s so out of control.”
“So let me take over,” Ezra said, his lips inches from Kai’s. The urge to claim those lips roared through him, but he wouldn’t. Not after the man had bared himself like this. So he studied Kai’s face, those gorgeous eyes wide with pain, with fear, and the trust the man had placed in him settled squarely inside him, turning a small flickering flame to a steady hearth. Yearning crept in, the sort he rarely allowed, of what it might be like to deserve someone like that.
Of what it might be like to mean something…to anyone.
Before he could pull back, Kai leaned in.
Those lips pressed against his, and Ezra didn’t waste the chance he got. He slipped his hand behind Kai’s nape and took control of the kiss. The man’s mouth was sin, just heat and softness, and the desperate way Kai sank into the kiss made his soul ignite. Ezra hummed against his mouth, enjoying the plush feel of him, the sweet taste, and then he slid his tongue in, deepening the kiss.
Kai let out a little moan, which traveled deep into his bones. He glided his fingers up Kai’s nape, tangled them in his hair, and gripped hard. Another moan followed, and Ezra lapped into his mouth again, coaxing any response he could. Kai’s confession had clearly cost him, and Ezra needed to show him that he was fucking gorgeous, worthy of being the sole focus of just about anyone.
He nipped at Kai’s lush lower lip, then soothed it with his tongue. Kai’s lashes fluttered, and his hot breath stoked Ezra’s fire all over again. Ezra dove in for more, claiming his mouth with intention. Fuck, he was delicious. Kai was so responsive, his whole body a live wire, as if it had been ages since he’d been touched, and Ezra was greedy for every sound, every reaction. If he didn’t have more self-control, he might try to take this further and unwrap this gorgeous man like a gift.
However, Kai was new to everything, and he was clearly in a vulnerable space.
Ezra slowed his kisses, running his fingers through Kai’s hair. He pulled back, even though his blood pumped hot, and the ache between his legs grew intense.
Kai stared at him, his eyes wide, his pretty mouth spit-slicked and rosy.
“Well, that’s one way to get comfortable,” Ezra said with a lazy grin.
“Goddamn.” Kai let out a low curse, rubbing his chin.
“I’m not complaining in the slightest,” Ezra said. “You’re fucking gorgeous, but I promised a scene for you, and I’m going to keep us on task.”
Even if he’d prefer to lose himself in Kai’s body any day of the week. Ever since he’d started T, he’d been hornier than ever, the insatiable need as regular as his heartbeat. However, he also wouldn’t complain about getting to let his sadistic side out to trot.
“What sort of scene do you have in mind?” Kai asked, his eyes gleaming.
Ezra slipped past him and unzipped his bag. “Well, first off, how are your pain levels today?” Even though he had an inkling, he needed to know Kai was willing to communicate with him .
“The normal,” he said. “So, there’s a baseline level of achiness that’s always there, but nothing intense today.”
“Do you have any interest in impact play?” He tugged out one of his paddles. He kept that, a crop, and his favorite rawhide flogger in the bag anywhere he went.
Kai’s blown pupils gave him away before he opened his mouth. “Yeah, I’m curious. I’m not sure how much I can take, but I’d like to try.”
“Music to my ears.” Ezra pulled out all three and laid them on the table. “As far as safewords go, do you have a specific one you like, or should we use the stoplight system?”
Kai squeezed his nape, averting his gaze again. “How are you so chill about this? I mean, fuck, I never know what’s going to set things off with my lupus.”
Ezra stepped over to him again and placed a hand on his hip. His chest squeezed tight. Something about seeing Kai stripped so raw drove right to the heart of him. Maybe because he’d spent so long feeling broken in the wrong body that he recognized it, but the realization fueled his determination to prove to Kai he was perfect as is.
“Hey, all I’m asking from you is communication. If we try, and something doesn’t work for you, that’s fine by me. I’m just honored you’re willing to trust me.”
Kai let out a shaky breath. “Okay. I can do that.”
“Now, why don’t you strip down for me and bend over your couch.” Ezra licked his lips, heat coiling through him. Something about domming always settled him in a way nothing else did. “We’ll start easy—with the paddle. If you’re comfortable, I can try some of the other implements.”
A gorgeous flush rose to Kai’s cheeks, but he reached for the hem of his Henley. “Wait, should I have yes, sirred you or something? ”
Ezra snorted. “Babe, we’re just testing the waters. Domly Doms who march in and demand to be called titles they didn’t earn can go get fucked on a rusty pipe. If we keep playing together and there are terms you want to use with me, we’ll discuss that then.”
Kai shook his head, a steadier grin rising to his lips. “You’re something else, you know that?”
“Hey, as long as you’re willing to let me take out some pent-up aggression on your ass, I’m fine by that.” The second his words left his mouth, the implication landed, and Kai’s tongue darted out, his gaze glowing with lust. “With the tools.” He didn’t restrain his grin. “At least for tonight.”
“Right.” Kai trailed off, clearly following his own fantasies. That worked for him. The sheer number of things he’d like to do with this man grew by the second. Kai tugged the shirt over his head and tossed it onto the bed. His nipples were darker than the rest of his olive skin, and he had the hint of a six-pack. He reached for the button of his jeans but stilled.
Ezra picked up the paddle from the table and tested the heft of it on his hand. He didn’t miss the way Kai’s gaze hungrily trailed there or how the heat in the room ratcheted up a thousand degrees. Oh, he definitely reacted to impact. Ezra had the feeling he had the makings of a pain slut on his hands, even if Kai didn’t realize it yet.
Kai unzipped his jeans and drew both them and his boxer briefs down. He nudged them off to the side and then glanced up as if seeking approval.
That, Ezra could give. He let out a low whistle. “Goddamn, you’re gorgeous.”
Kai was nothing short of stunning. He was all lickable tanned skin and slender, with a tapered waist that led to his hard-as-hell cock. The curved length had a reddish tip, average length but with plenty of girth. A dusting of dark hair covered his legs and arms, and a trail tapered down his torso. His features were carved, and even his body was too, prominent collar bones, defined shoulders and hip bones. Ezra wanted to devour him.
However, he had promised a scene, and he’d deliver. “Want to bend over for me now?”
“Yeah.” Kai’s voice was ragged, and the emotional weight of the control he handed over grew tangible.
He strode over to the couch and bent forward, exposing his sexy-as-fuck ass. Holy hell. The man had the muscular glutes Ezra wanted to pry open and taste. And with him splayed out in submission, the gorgeous lines of his back in clear definition, that luscious ass exposed…yeah, he was so turned on he could barely breathe.
He slapped the paddle against his palm again, watching the twitch of Kai’s shoulders. Amusement filtered through him. This was one of his favorite games to play with subs.
“I’m going to begin slowly, and I’ll check in with each stroke until we find what your comfort zone is, okay?” Ezra brought the paddle down yet again. As expected, Kai’s shoulders gave another twitch. “Sound good?”
“Yeah.”
For the first time in the past few days, new life circulated through Ezra. No sitting in his deadening apartment or running headlong into danger at work, just to chase the hint of a pulse. He wasn’t haunted by his ghosts—not tonight.
No, tonight, he would lose himself in the best distraction possible.
“Let’s get started.”