16. Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Sixteen
W hen Ezra had bolted out the door, he’d left his wallet behind.
Kai and Sloan had started after him, calling his phone, but upon the lack of response, they tried the address on his driver’s license. Kai had driven, and they’d ended up at an apartment building in a ramshackle part of Oakland.
Thank fuck they’d shown up.
Kai squeezed Ezra tight to him, his heart aching at the shake of his sobs, the wet heat of his tears. He couldn’t imagine having a brother so terrible he’d do something like this. The wreckage around Ezra’s apartment was severe; items had been broken specifically to hurt. All of it overwhelmed him, and it wasn’t even his place that had gotten ruined. And if Sloan had dated this monster…fuck .
Resolve burrowed deep inside him as if the strings that tied them together had pulled taut. Back home, he’d been the one viewed as the mess when he used to be stable, the one everyone looked at with pity. But being here for Sloan and Ezra made him feel strong in a way he’d missed. He didn’t just have to be on the outskirts of people’s lives now that he had lupus. The exertion was catching up with him, and fatigue started to crash his way, but he could at least be here with Ezra, even if all three of them just stood here holding on to each other.
“Fuck,” Ezra groaned. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
“You can stay with me,” Kai said. The words leaped out of his mouth, but he’d followed his impulses all the way out here and into Ezra’s and Sloan’s beds. And these guys…his gut told him he could trust them.
Ezra pulled back, tear-tracks down his cheeks, those dark brown eyes so wounded that the look slammed in him like a knife through his chest. “You’re not serious.”
“I am.” Kai’s boldness tumbled forward before his senses could catch up. Maybe it was the small town in him begging for connection, for folks to be as friendly or true as they seemed, but he’d been at Ezra’s mercy. He’d seen the care the man doled out in spades, how he hadn’t just been intuitive with him about pain but also understood that he didn’t want to be treated like an invalid.
That he could still be useful.
“And we’ll help you clean this up.” Sloan skimmed his fingers through Ezra’s hair. “I know it’s…shit, it’s…him.” His hand trembled, and Ezra clutched it tight, pressing his lips to Sloan’s skin.
“You don’t need to stick around for me,” Ezra said, his words dark and distant. “Neither of you do. My brother’s toxic, and I can’t afford for anyone else to get dragged into his mess. ”
“And what did you do to get dragged in?” Kai asked softly and wrapped his hand around Ezra’s. His knees wobbled a bit, and he’d need to sit in a second or two, but he didn’t want to budge.
Ezra stared at him, a lost, haunted look flickering across his gaze, but then a bitter grin twisted his lips. “Existed.”
A broken noise pierced the air, but it didn’t come from Ezra. No, Sloan leaned in close, his body shaking. “How is this allowed? How is he allowed to keep hurting people, with no repercussions?” Sloan’s eyes were glassy, and fuck, Kai’s heart threatened to beat out of his chest.
“You’re not pushing me away,” Kai said to Ezra. “We’ll get the cops involved, do whatever we need to, but he’s not allowed to keep hurting you.” He switched his gaze to Sloan. “Either of you.”
Where this burst of confidence was coming from, he hadn’t the slightest. It wasn’t like he had the money or physical strength to take this asshole on. Hell, Ezra outmatched him in street savviness every time. However, he couldn’t just sit back and witness this pain without offering…fuck, something.
The sheer helplessness that washed over him at seeing Ezra and Sloan fall to pieces was a little like what he’d witnessed back home.
When he’d first gotten diagnosed. When his loved ones had watched him fall, seen him on his bad days.
Understanding filtered in a little stronger. That Sloan, Ezra, and him, maybe they were a little more alike than he’d first believed.
Ezra sucked in a shaky breath. “It’s sweet you want to try—”
“Even if I can’t do shit about your brother, I’m not leaving you to face him by yourself,” Kai said firmly.
Ezra didn’t need his anger right now. He needed to know he wasn’t alone .
Ezra clapped a hand over his mouth, his eyes stinging anew, and took in a few shaky breaths. “Fucking hell. You have no idea what you’re in for.”
Kai shrugged. “We can’t choose our hardships, but we can choose to weather them with others.”
Ezra stared at him, his jaw dropping.
“You just keep getting hotter,” Sloan said, his tone watery, even as he attempted a grin. “And you’re right. I’m not going anywhere either.”
Kai’s chest warmed at Sloan’s bravery. Every time he learned another facet about the man, he couldn’t help but be charmed.
His legs began to shake, and the fatigue slammed into him like a heavyweight bag. He swayed for a moment, then descended to a crouch.
“Are you okay?” Ezra asked in a low, serious tone as if he’d switched to professional mode. He was an EMT, so it shouldn’t be shocking that a different emergency would snap him into action.
“Fine, just overdid it…” Embarrassment flushed through Kai. He’d made a whole fucking speech about being there for Ezra, and here he was, a mess on the floor.
“Lupus being an asshole?” Ezra asked. The understanding in his gaze made things a little easier. At least he didn’t have to run through his whole Rolodex of symptoms and issues and field questions. He nodded.
Sloan cast an assessing look around the apartment. “I don’t know about you, but I think we could do for a beat of fresh air away from here. When everyone’s ready, we’ll come back and start clearing through this. ”
Fuck, Kai could kiss the man. He hadn’t wanted to admit he was in no shape for physical labor right now, and with how wrecked the place was, sifting through the rubble would take a lot of work.
“I’ve got somewhere we can go.” Ezra swiped at his eyes. He straightened and offered a hand out to Kai. “Come on. I’ll drive.”
Kai accepted, and as he leaned against Ezra, the only reason his pride didn’t fight him was that Ezra clutched him back just as tightly.
“Let’s get out of here.” Sloan marched toward the door.
***
He’d nodded off on the short car drive, and opening his eyes was a struggle. Before he’d dealt with lupus, he thought fatigue meant just…being extra tired. No, it was like chugging forward on an empty gas tank. Everything took more effort than normal, and he fucking hated it. With his remote job, he could conserve a lot of energy, so it wasn’t like back in Collier’s Creek when he couldn’t haul around sacks of feed and help unload pallets at work like he used to. However, the intense scene the three of them had engaged in earlier tapped what he had left.
Not like he regretted it for a second.
“It’s a short trek to the water.” Ezra glanced in the rearview mirror.
Kai would probably collapse once they reached their destination, but Ezra did understand a bit about chronic illness, so he trusted the man wouldn’t lead him on a five-mile hike.
“Oh man, you brought us to the Mid-Century Monster.” Sloan hopped out of the car, then opened the door for Kai. Kai peeled himself off the back seat and forced himself to a stand. Once he moved, he’d be able to push his way to their destination, but he wouldn’t be able to stop.
Lake Merritt glittered in the distance, and Kai almost sagged with relief at the sight of it so close. An odd misshapen greenish blob stood out in the middle of the sand leading to the water’s edge.
“What’s that?” Kai asked, his words coming out a bit like sludge.
“A sculpture that’s been around for ages.” Sloan slipped an arm around his shoulders, pure smoothness. If he’d done the whole trying to heave him forward thing, Kai would’ve wriggled out of it, but Sloan just leaned into the touch. Both men handled him so differently than everyone else, and now that he’d found them, he didn’t want to let them go.
“Y’all are weird with the postmodern art out here.” For the life of him, he couldn’t see the allure. He leaned in on Sloan’s steadiness.
“I keep forgetting you’re not from here,” Ezra said. “I’ve been in Oakland my whole life, apart from a small jaunt to Sacramento.”
“I grew up in the Bay Area too.” Sloan gave Kai’s side a squeeze. “What’s out in Wyoming? Tumbleweeds?”
“More mountains and shit.” A grin twitched his lips. Ezra’s ruined apartment felt like a distant memory, even though the wreckage they’d left behind was very real. The strain in Ezra’s shoulders made it evident he hadn’t moved past it yet, even if he put on a good face. Kai’s chest squeezed tight. “Are your folks as bad as your brother?”
Part of him didn’t want to know the answer. Either way, he couldn’t imagine sitting back as a parent and letting one of your kids torture another.
Ezra’s shoulders tensed even more, and for a second, Kai was sure he was going to tell him to fuck off. Maybe he shouldn’t be digging right after the guy went through some serious fucking trauma.
He opened his mouth to apologize, but Ezra started to speak .
“We grew up poor as shit, so both of them were working around the clock just to keep a roof over our heads.” Ezra squeezed his nape. “By the time they’d noticed any of Rick’s behavioral issues, it was too late to do fuck all about him. Besides, my folks accept me in their own way, but it’s…different in those neighborhoods.”
“Were they shit about you transitioning?” Sloan asked, his voice hoarse as if roused from slumber.
Ezra snorted. “Funnily enough, the first thing my dad said to me was that I made a better fag than a girl. So that went as smooth as I could’ve hoped with them.”
Kai had come from an accepting-as-hell town a whole lot softer than it seemed Ezra had experienced. Even with his parents, the most they were was overbearing and disappointed he and Shelby had split up. But he and his sister had a normal relationship where they teased each other, not one filled with threats and destruction.
“Let’s chill here.” Ezra stopped at a sandy spot by the water. Lake Merritt was framed by the cityscape of Oakland, and with the intensity of the blue sky today, it formed a beautiful sight.
Kai thumped to the ground as if he were no more than a sack of potatoes. “I’d say I’m sorry, but your situation’s so far from my scope I don’t even know how to process it.”
Ezra shrugged. He brought his knees up and stared out at the lake. “You get locked in the cycle. Survive one problem to the next and never slow down. You do, and that’s the day you end up dead.”
Sloan shivered, the movement rocking through his whole body. “I used to wish he was.”
Ezra glanced up at Sloan. “Still do.”
Kai’s heart clenched. He might not have the energy right now, and his body was just a sack of barely responsive flesh, but he leaned against Sloan, who had knocked their knee against Ezra’s. The three of them were connected like this, and Kai was aware of how rare this electricity between them was.
Hell, it was rare enough to find between two people, let alone more.
As much as he hadn’t considered a polyam lifestyle, he would be looking into more of what it entailed.
“Holy shit, Ezra,” a cheerful voice called from a few feet away. A small, cheerful blonde person stood next to a hulking, muscular guy, who had his arm around the shorter one and a brooding look on his face.
Ezra looked up. “Oh, hey, Mase.” He gestured toward the couple. “Kai, Sloan, this is my old neighbor, Mason, and that’s their boyfriend, Hunter.”
“I’ve met them before,” Sloan said. “They both work at Tabletop Tavern. I’ve done some Friday Night Magic there.”
Mason all but skipped over, an anomaly of cheerful goth with the black attire and spiky accessories. They paused right in front of Ezra. “I haven’t seen you since I moved out. How’s the EMT life?”
Ezra speared his fingers through his hair. “That’s fine. Good thing you ditched the apartment, though. Complex has gone to shit. They let just anyone in there.” Sarcasm dripped from his lips, and Kai ached to reach out and wrap Ezra in his arms again. However, that earlier vulnerable side had slipped behind wisecracks and cynicism.
“What happened?” Hunter asked, settling in place behind Mason. His dark eyes flickered in concern.
“His shithead brother and whatever gang he’s rolling with now,” Sloan said.
Mase stared hard at Ezra as if they were piecing a few things together. “If you need somewhere safe, Hunter and I can always offer space. ”
Ezra dropped his head as if he couldn’t bear to look up at Mason’s kindness. It grew clear from just a few interactions that despite the care Ezra gave others, he wasn’t used to receiving any himself.
“He’s going to stay with me,” Kai said, sparing Ezra from his embarrassment.
“He’s welcome with me too,” Sloan said, his voice a little quieter. The fact that Sloan was willing to put himself out there, even when it might place him on Rick’s radar—fuck, that sort of bravery was unparalleled. Ezra looked at Sloan, his eyes wide. Sloan placed his hand over Ezra’s, and Kai’s heart just about beat out of his chest. He’d thought jealousy would’ve swept in at seeing them bond like that, but instead, sheer relief and warmth flowed through him.
“I’m glad.” Hunter crossed his arms. “But if there’s trouble and you need help, we’re only a call away.”
Ezra nodded, his eyes getting a little glassy.
“You going to drag these two to the next Magic night with you?” Mase asked Sloan. The question felt a little too deliberate, as if Mason was saving Ezra from responding.
Sloan glanced to them. “If they’re interested. I’ll be there either way. I have a reputation to uphold.”
“It was great meeting you, Kai,” Mase said with a grin. “Don’t be a stranger, guys.”
“See you around.” Hunter slipped his arm around Mason, and the pair continued their stroll.
The moment they were a few feet away, Ezra gave Sloan an accusing stare. “You don’t need to offer your place. I’m not letting him anywhere near you.”
Sloan shook his head. “On our first date, when I bolted, I had to confront a lot of shit I’d been burying. I hadn’t told fucking anyone about Rick. Not my family, not my friends. I’d run away, and it wasn’t until then I realized I’d never stopped.”
Kai reached over to Sloan and wove his fingers through his. Sloan passed him a tender look that held a sweetness he’d do anything to protect. The idea of this man getting abused stoked a raging fire inside him.
“I’m not going to let him near me,” Sloan said. “I’m going to do everything in my power to stop running and carve my own space. In whatever way I have to do that.”
“You’re amazing.” Kai’s eyes stung. “Both of you.”
Ezra gazed at him with the seriousness of a dark night, and he was just as captivating as one. Sloan was like a summer day, hazy and sweet, meant for pleasure and relaxation and sheer enjoyment. The two of them couldn’t be more different, and on days like this, he felt like he barely brought shit to the table, but the same impulse that brought him out here rose now.
The impulse told him to clutch onto these two with all his might and never let go.