Chapter 29 ALEX #2
“Yeah, but he’s much better than the other guys we work with,” Anna says quickly.
“The rest aren’t worth your time, believe me.
” Her face tenses as her eyes dart to Ben quickly, and I can see Ben scowling again.
I don’t think he likes being part of our unofficial girl’s night conversation very much.
“Plus, Zach’s definitely worth getting to know,” she says teasingly, and Jessica snickers.
I raise my eyebrows at Anna, and she nods a little.
“Oh. Um, I’ll think about it, okay?” I think Theo would go fucking ballistic if he even heard me having this conversation.
“You should,” Anna says with a wink, and I force a smile and finish my beer quickly as the trivia starts back up. Thinking about what might happen if Theo caught me on a date with someone is sobering, and I have no intention of thinking about that, or him, or being sober.
Anna, Jessica, and I are bad at the trivia theme for the week, and we start a drinking game where we drink every time we get an answer wrong, which is almost every time.
I also drink whenever I think about Theo, so I’m pretty drunk when trivia is over.
The girls and I make plans for brunch while Ben closes out, and I use the restroom when they go outside to catch their ride.
I sit in the stall, checking my phone, but there’s still nothing from Theo. I want to go over and apologize tonight, but I’m not sure if he’s back from wherever he went yet. Even if he is, knowing him, he’ll get pissy about me being so drunk.
He’s such a fucking mom sometimes.
When I leave the bar, it’s pouring rain, and I groan, pulling my light denim jacket tight around me.
I can’t believe I forgot to check the weather.
My rain jacket is at Theo’s, anyway, and I’ll be freezing and soaked by the time I get home.
I pull out my phone and pull up his number, my thumb hovering over it.
I don’t think I’m ready to talk to him yet, and I don’t want to ask him for anything before apologizing, but I know he’ll come get me. At least, I think he will.
Maybe he doesn’t want anything to do with me now.
That shouldn’t bother me as much as it does.
Fuck it, I’m going to call him.
“Hey, Alex. Need a ride?” I look back and see Ben leaving the bar, holding up his keys, and I smile back at him. I can call Theo once I’m home, and I really don’t want to walk home in the rain, so I slip my phone into my pocket.
“Yeah, I do. Thanks.” The ride to my place is quick, and we mainly talk about whatever Ben brings up, although I can’t track the conversation entirely because I’m drunker than I thought I was. He parks across from my house, watching me as I unbuckle the seatbelt with some difficulty.
“Hey, can I use your bathroom?”
“Sure.”
I lead him upstairs and show him to the bathroom as I hang up my jacket and head into the kitchen to make dinner.
I’m not hungry, but I haven’t eaten much in the last few days, and I know I should.
At the very least, it will soak up some of the alcohol in my stomach.
I feel a slight pang as I look at the lone glass container with a sticky note on it sitting in my fridge.
I grab it and look at the neat, blocky writing on the note.
11/10
brAISED LAMB & ROOT VEG PUREE
ADD 2 TBSP WATER
MICROWAVE 2 MIN
LID PARTIALLY ON
Fuck, I need to apologize to Theo. Maybe I’ll ask him out to dinner or do something nice to make up for how awful I was. That’s probably a bad idea, but I feel terrible enough about what happened to do it.
“So, you and that guy aren’t together?” I look up at Ben as he enters the kitchen, then back at the sticky note. This is the last day I can eat this unless I freeze it, and it’s possibly the last thing Theo’s making for me for a while.
“Oh, um, I don’t know,” I say, feeling guilty as I slip the glass container into the freezer.
“He’s an idiot if he’s not into you.” I laugh, almost losing my balance as I bend over to grab a bottle of wine from the bottom cabinet.
That’s definitely not the problem, but I’m not talking about this with anyone, except maybe Bailey.
“You look so beautiful tonight, Alex,” he says quietly.
Something about Ben’s voice sets me on edge.
I look up at him, realizing that I’m bent over and that he’s close behind me, looking at my body appreciatively.
I stand up quickly, my head spinning a little.
I’m not sure I should drink more right now.
“Oh, um, thanks, I guess,” I say quickly, wrapping my arms around myself. Ben steps closer to me, backing me into the kitchen counter, and I get nervous. Why didn’t I ever notice how big he is? He’s shorter than Theo, maybe, but he’s kind of got Danny’s thick build and he’s much bigger than me.
Didn’t Theo make me promise I wouldn’t be alone with Ben?
I’m not so sure he was just being jealous anymore.
“You know that I’m into you, right? Maybe you just thought I was being friendly.” I tense up, leaning away from him as he stares down at me, his eyes glued to my lips.
“Ben, we’re just friends.”
He steps even closer. “We could be more than that,” he says with a soft smile.
I squirm slightly as he leans down over me, his arms bracketing me in. “Uhm, I should go to bed.”
Ben laughs a little, his eyes drifting down the open neck of my dress.
“We can do that.” It takes me a minute to realize what he’s saying, and I shake my head, feeling slightly dizzy as I do.
Theo’s going to freak out when he sees this on the cameras, but maybe he’ll come over here and make Ben leave.
“That’s not what I meant,” I say quietly, but I can barely get the words out.
“Right. The kitchen works, too, I guess,” he says with a smirk as one of his hands drags up my body and cups my breast. My breath starts coming faster as he leans closer, and I pull back as far as possible, but I can’t go much farther.
“I don’t think this is a good idea.” My voice sounds high-pitched and panicky.
“I know you like me, Alex.” Ben pushes his hips against mine, and I freeze as I feel him hard against me. Why isn’t Theo blowing up my phone? Is he not watching me? Did I actually get rid of him right when I needed him?
Oh, fuck, I wish he was here right now.
“No,” I whisper out, but Ben must not hear me. I’m frozen as his other hand drifts up my thigh and grips my ass hard as he leans down to kiss me. I work hard to move my arms, putting my hands on his chest and pushing, but he doesn’t move. “Don’t,” I say a little louder, forcing the word out.
Ben’s brow furrows as he leans over me, staring down the open neck of my dress.
“Jesus, Alex, you’re such a fucking tease,” he says, his voice surprisingly angry.
Ben’s leg pushes in between mine, his thigh pushing up until he’s rubbing his against me roughly.
I whimper in protest at how harsh it feels as he leans down and kisses me aggressively, and I feel the familiar cold, numb sensation of disconnecting from my body.
I don’t want this, but it’s going to happen anyway, so at least I don’t have to experience it.
Suddenly, Ben pulls away from me and a second later slams into the wall with a yelp, and in his place is a furious-looking Theo.
“What the fuck is this?” I startle at Theo’s harsh voice, and all the sensation and panic rush back into my body as I stare up at him, tears starting to form on my lash line.
I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.
His face goes blank, and he looks over at Ben, who looks between the two of us with genuine fear.