Chapter 32 THEO
THEO
“ALLIE!!!” Miles collides with Alex’s shins and beams up at her.
“Hi, buddy!” He pulls her into the house, chattering at her. She looks back over her shoulder and smiles at me, but it’s not a real smile. She’s been pissy all day, and me hiding all the alcohol in the house didn’t help.
I’m such a fucking idiot. I should have remembered those photos of her, perfectly made up, obviously unhappy, holding a perfect-looking, gigantic turkey. She was probably expected to do that and hated it, but I don’t think that’s enough to make her react the way she did yesterday.
She looked genuinely panicked when she saw the food in the kitchen.
I trail in after Alex and Miles into Bailey’s frenetic, cramped dining room.
Dylan, Catherine, Suzie, a small blonde woman in a bright pink pantsuit, a couple dressed vaguely the same, and a tall woman who looks like the female version of Dylan are all crammed around the table loaded with Ethiopian food.
Catherine watches Alex and I enter together with a surprised expression, and I start to feel antsy at the idea of socializing with all of these people.
Fuck, I really wanted it to be just Alex and I for our first Thanksgiving. I wanted to cook together, fuck in the kitchen, eat a ton of food, and fall asleep on the couch. That would have been perfect.
This will be fine.
A slightly drunken Bailey flags me down immediately and sits me next to her, asking me questions that get progressively more invasive.
Catherine and Suzie watch from nearby with amused interest, but neither intervene.
Alex sits across from me next to Miles, ripping off pieces of the sour flatbread and eating tiny bites of the food with her hands.
She either doesn’t like it or is too anxious to be hungry, and after tasting it, I decide it’s the latter.
She drinks a lot of wine and avoids looking at me anytime she pours another glass.
Bailey is boisterous, funny, and fairly engaging, but I have difficulty focusing on her because I keep looking over at Alex and Miles.
It’s hard not to get distracted by how focused she is on him, how sweet she is to him, and how silly she can be with him.
I’ve watched them together before, but seeing them interact in person is different.
Seeing it up close, I can so easily picture what a family with her would look like, and I realize that I fucking yearn to have that with her.
“You better wipe that look off your face before she sees you,” Bailey whispers, and I jerk slightly, realizing that she’s been watching me watch Alex and Miles. I run my hands through my hair and smile at her sheepishly.
“Thanks. I don’t think that would go over well,” I say, forcing a laugh.
Bailey snorts. “Not yet, maybe. Give it time,” she whispers, winking at me.
I’ve never liked anyone as much as I like Bailey at that moment, so I smile at her broadly, trying hard to focus on her.
“Bailey, this food is delicious. Did you put together the berbere mix yourself?” Her face lights up at the question and she gasps, nodding emphatically.
“I did, actually! You’re the only person who noticed.”
“It’s extremely well balanced. This is honestly the best Doro Wat I’ve ever had.”
Her grin is loose and tipsy and approving. “Oh, I like you. Alex, I like him,” Bailey says loudly enough to get Alex’s attention. She looks up from Miles and smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
***
Alex, for the most part, continues to ignore everyone but Miles. I leave her alone because it’s the first time she’s seemed relaxed since yesterday, and I want her to have a good day, but I wish she’d talk to me. I end up talking to Catherine instead, who gives me a somewhat scrutinizing look.
“So, you’re the mystery boyfriend. I should have guessed.” I smile at her, shrugging. “How long have you two been dating?”
“It’s new, and we’re taking it slowly.” Catherine looks over at Alex thoughtfully.
“That’s probably for the best. And she knows…?” Catherine’s always been kind to me, and I love that she cares about Alex, so I try not to get defensive when I hear the suspicious tone in her voice.
“Yeah, she does. All of it.” Most of it, anyway. Catherine’s eyebrows raise slightly.
“Well, good. I’m surprised she’s so understanding, to be honest, because of -” Catherine cuts herself off with a grimace, apparently realizing I might not know much about Alex’s past.
“She doesn’t like to talk about it,” I say quietly, “but I think it’s justified that she’s hiding. I assume you know about it to some extent.” She shakes her head.
“We don’t know anything besides the fact that she’s hiding. The three of us worry about her, Suzie especially. Alex is reserved and always says she’s fine, but she still seems fragile.”
I look over at Alex and consider what Catherine’s saying. Alex is sensitive, she’s got a lot of fucking issues, she cries at pretty much everything, and she’s been emotionally all over the place since we met, but I’ve never thought of her as fragile.
“She’s not, Catherine. She’s really not.” Catherine looks at Alex, contemplating her as she and Miles sit on the couch, coloring.
“I hope you’re right.” She looks back over at me, her mouth tightening. “So, what are your intentions with her, exactly?” I grin down at Catherine before glancing back at Alex and Miles.
“I just want to make her happy,” I say, looking away once Alex notices me staring.
***
Once Miles goes to bed, I assume I’ll finally get to spend time with Alex, but she still avoids me.
She ends up in a long conversation with the blonde woman in the pantsuit, turning her back to me.
I realize it’s because she’s drinking a lot and she knows that I’ll cut her off, so I keep an eye on how much she’s drinking from across the room.
I end up talking to Dylan, his sister, and the couple, who are Bailey’s friends from college.
They’re all friendly and welcoming, and I get to avoid talking because Dylan’s an insatiable gossip.
He tells us in hushed tones that Catherine and Suzie have opened up their relationship recently and invited their girlfriend, gesturing surreptitiously at the woman Alex is speaking to.
I try to stay engaged, but I keep looking at Alex, who is now on her fifth glass of wine and a third small piece of baklava.
She’s eating something, at least.
When she finally walks over to me, she leans into me a little too hard and I realize she’s very drunk. I think maybe I miscounted the glasses of wine, until I remember that she wouldn’t eat yesterday, or today before dinner, and didn’t even eat much dinner.
God, her drinking is so fucking concerning, and she just ignores me about it. I really need to sit her down and try and talk to her about it. Maybe if I –
“Baby, can we go home?” she slurs sweetly, and every other thought evaporates from my head. I want to keep my face neutral, but it’s hard not to grin at her.
“Yeah, sweetheart. Let’s go home.” She smiles up at me, drunk enough that she doesn’t even notice the emphasis I place on the word.
***
I hold back Alex’s hair as she vomits into the bushes outside my house, then get her inside and give her a glass of water while heating up some of the mashed potatoes I made for myself. She eats them slowly, glaring at them with animosity.
“I hate Thanksgiving,” she slurs, and I cringe as she salts the potatoes for a third time.
“Is that why you got shitfaced?” She groans, shaking her head.
“Theo, don’t. Not today,” she says, frowning down at the mashed potatoes.
“Fine, but we’re talking about this soon, Alexandria.”
“We’re talking about this soon, Alexandria,” she parrots back in a snide voice. “Your kids are going to hate you.” I bite my tongue hard as I watch her lean against the kitchen island, drunk and miserable and beautiful. I try not to say anything, but I can’t help it.
“They’re going to love you.” I whisper it quietly enough that I don’t think she’ll hear me, but she freezes for a second, her eyes widening before she goes back to eating. I know she heard me, but it doesn’t matter. She’s drunk enough that she won’t remember it in the morning.
That’s fine - we’re not there yet. Alex has barely adjusted to our relationship, she’s kind of an alcoholic, and she’s still married to someone else.
I need to fix one massive issue at a time.
We’ll get there, eventually.