Chapter 34 THEO #3
“His family was awful, too. His parents died when he was young, which is kind of how he got me to talk to him, but his aunts were really involved in our lives and extremely critical of me. They bossed me around constantly, and it took me fucking years to realize that I was being pushed around and manipulated by everyone. I was just trying to get through it and figure out how to not make Danny angry. He got so angry about everything, and it took me a long time to figure out how to handle him.”
“Why didn’t anyone fucking help you?” She snorts.
“People tried, but I didn’t want to acknowledge what was going on, so I lied to everyone and pretended it wasn’t happening.”
“Why didn’t you-”
“No more, Theo.” Her voice is sharp. “It’s your turn to share. Tell me about your grandparents.” I shoot her a frustrated look, but she’s being open, and I know she wants that from me, so I indulge her.
“Um, yeah, okay. They were great, I guess. I spent every summer with them as a kid, basically. I always wanted to be here instead of with Jason and Melissa.”
“Why didn’t you live with them?” I shrug, taking a deep breath.
“They tried to adopt me when I was born because Melissa was only seventeen, but she wanted to keep me, so she and Jason moved out to Yakima when she was pregnant. The two of them ended up using me to get money out of Nana and Boss.” Alex makes a sharp, disapproving sound.
“What did they need the money for?” I blink down at the onions for a second.
“Jason’s drug habit, probably. It worked, because Nana and Boss loved me, but things were shitty for years, and then I killed Jason, and then Melissa fucked off, and then I came here, and then things were fine.”
“Uh-huh,” she says, her voice dripping with disbelief. I take a deep breath and look over at her skeptical face, forcing a smile.
“Seriously, things were fine. Nana and Boss were great, and they loved me even though I was a fucking handful.” Alex folds her arms over her chest and raises her eyebrows at me expectantly, and something tightens in my throat.
She shared, I can share.
“Um, I mean, I think they viewed me as a chance to fix whatever they thought they’d fucked up with Melissa, so they were super strict and expected a lot out of me.
I felt like they wanted me to be someone I wasn’t.
Nana tried really hard to fix my behavior, which made things between us difficult because I wanted to make her happy, but I couldn’t control my impulses or my emotions or anything.
"Boss expected me to take over the company, so he was on my ass to shadow him and learn the business, which I had no interest in. He pushed me to do well in school, which was hard because school was fucking boring, and then he pushed me to study business in college and work for the company during the summers, which I hated. I wanted to make him happy, so I did all of it. I hated every fucking second of it, but I did it.”
“What did your grandma want for you?” I laugh and force myself not to look directly at Alex.
“She wanted me to find a nice girl, settle down, have a shit ton of kids, and be as normal as fucking possible.” Alex sips her wine slowly, not looking at me.
“What were you like in college?”
I shrug. “I dunno, I was mostly normal. I did well in school because there would be hell to pay if I didn’t, and I was better at socializing.
Managing my impulses was easier, too. Not easy, necessarily, but easier.
I also fucked around a lot.” Alex laughs a little too loudly, and I eye the almost empty wine bottle beside her.
“Can you bring me that? I need to deglaze the pan.” She does, leaning against the counter next to me and sipping her wine quietly as I upend the bottle into the pan before pouring in the stock and seasoning the soup.
“Then what?” I laugh bitterly, shaking my head at her.
“Then I met Ashley, and everything in my life was great for the first time ever, and then she left me, and then I found out she was in love with my roommate, and then I tried to kill him, and then I went to prison. My grandparents hired great lawyers, but there’s still a mandatory minimum for what I did.
"I disappointed the ever-loving fuck out of Boss, who never forgave me for being the reason he had to sell his majority in the company instead of passing it down, and then he died. Nana forgave me, mostly because she thought I couldn’t help being such a fuck up, but then she got breast cancer, and I couldn’t be there for her or do anything to help her because I was in fucking prison. ”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, she died three months before I got out. Oh, and then I had to deal with Melissa, who hates me even more than she used to. I had to pay off my own fucking mother to get her to leave me alone, which was awesome. Can I please stop fucking sharing now?” I exhale hard, looking away from her.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to snap at you. ”
“I know, baby,” she says, and she runs her hand run up and down my back. I stare at the simmering soup, breathing deeply and pushing everything back down. Alex picks up the wedge of cheese and inspects it for a long time before her arm snakes around my waist.
“My dad always used Gruyere when he made French onion soup. I’ve never had it with Comte, but they’re not really different, right?” I catch her eye and try to smile at her.
“They’re a little different, but they’re mostly the same.” She hums and sets the cheese back down. I wrap my arm around her shoulders, and we stand there quietly, embracing.