Chapter 60 ALEX
ALEX
The second Theo walks in the door, his hand grips mine tightly as he kicks off his shoes. He drops his bag and drifts slowly down the hall, dragging me along with him, looking around with wide eyes.
“Holy shit, Alex,” he whispers. “This place feels like a home.”
“It’s our home,” I say quietly, and he looks down at me with something close to confusion.
A moment later his expression clears, and his shoulders lower and the tension in his body unspools until he’s completely relaxed, vulnerable and happy and calm in a way I’ve never seen.
Warmth floods my chest as I watch him, and he pulls me up into his arms and spins me around, which he’s never done before, and he seems giddy as he kisses me over and over.
This is the happiest I’ve ever seen Theo, and I love that I get to make him feel like this.
I follow him from room to room, trying to see the house through his eyes. I’m used to it now, but I did so much redecorating over the last year that the house is barely recognizable. I kept some of the furniture Theo bought, but replaced a lot of it with pieces that fit better with the house.
I also went through everything in the attic and brought down things I liked – photographs, some mid-century wall art, and a collection of large, intricate handwoven baskets.
The house is warm and eclectic now, with lots of my and my mom’s art on the walls, and framed photos of Theo and I and our families scattered around the house.
I only chose pictures of us where I could tell we were happy, and the polaroid of us in front of the tree at Christmas is in the living room, pride of place on the mantle.
Theo’s thrilled about every change I’ve made, and as I trail him around the house, I start to feel comfortable in the house in a way I haven’t been before.
I’ve made the house entirely suited to my tastes, but it’s always just been a big, empty house that I lived in.
Theo’s ecstatic energy fills up the space so much that the house feels warm and welcoming.
It’s finally a home now.
Theo bounces in between rooms, and when he enters the living room, he freezes, staring at the huge, slightly abstract version of the wreck of the Iredale hung over the mantle.
Theo looks over at me, surprised and excited. “Alex, this is insane. You’re super talented, you know that?”
I blush in embarrassment, crossing my arms. “Do you like it?”
“I fucking love it.” I smirk at him. I knew he would love it, especially once I found the pen and ink drawing he’d stolen from my apartment in his desk drawer, along with a minuscule painting and one of my thongs.
Fucking stalker.
I framed all of them for his office, he just hasn’t noticed them yet.
He pulls me tight and stares at the canvas mounted on the wall for a moment longer before he finally drags me into the kitchen, where he starts laughing deliriously at the small painting of a Christmas ham hanging up on the wall.
I painted lots of small canvases with different dishes and food items and hung them up all over the kitchen, and Theo likes all of them except the one of coq a vin. He shoots me a look that’s equally irritated and amused when he sees it, and I grin at him.
Then he’s desperate to cook something.
We have food at home, but he insists on spending almost two hours at the little co-op anyway.
He won’t let me leave his side, his arm around me as he spends a long time examining every available option and piece of produce.
I have to remind him that we’re leaving in a week and that he can’t buy too much food.
When I tell him I’m cooking him dinner later, I’m pretty sure he almost has an aneurysm.
He makes us salmon and a nice salad for lunch, and even pours himself a glass of wine from a bottle I have chilling in the fridge.
We sit out on the porch, eating and watching the ships drift up and down the river, enjoying the nice weather, and then I climb into his lap and take my time enjoying him.
We nap on the small couch on the porch, although Theo startles awake at one point when a car alarm goes off several blocks away, and it takes him a few minutes to calm down, his arm tight around my waist the whole time.
When it’s time for dinner, he sits in the kitchen and watches me with a soft look as I make him a porcini risotto, and it’s not lost on him that it’s the first dinner he ever cooked me.
We curl up on the couch to watch a movie afterward, but neither of us pays attention to the movie because he’s inside of me almost immediately.
We sleep face to face, wrapped around each other tightly, and Theo sleeps for the whole night.
He has nightmares, but it’s nothing as intense as that first night together, which was apparently the worst one he’s had in over a year. We have frantic sex after his nightmares, but when he wakes me up from one of my nightmares, he’s barely touching me.
We don’t have sex after my nightmares.
He cooks elaborate meals three times a day and eats constantly.
He sleeps for long hours, holding me tightly in bed or falling asleep on the couch with his head in my lap.
He doesn’t let me out of his sight to the extent that he follows me into the bathroom, which I don’t even complain about the first time.
He won’t stop touching me, and we can’t stop fucking, even when it starts to hurt.
He gets out on Sunday morning, and I’m so sore by Wednesday that I can barely walk.
I lie on the couch in pain, my cunt throbbing and core aching, and look at him in horror when he kneels between my legs, undoing his belt.
“How are you not in pain right now?”
“Oh, I am,” he says, wincing a little, “but I can’t help myself.” He winks at me as he leans down to kiss me, but I shove him away.
“Can you help me and get me an ice pack and stop touching me? You have the rest of your life to fuck me, so please calm down.” He laughs and retreats to the kitchen, returning with an ice pack wrapped in a thin dish towel.
“I’m holding you to that ‘rest of my life’ thing,” he says as he hands me the ice pack, and I groan as I press it between my legs.
“Baby, I will let you buy whatever insane goddamn ring you want if you just stop fucking me for a minute. Whatever you want, I swear, just stop touching me.” He grins.
“I’m definitely holding you that ‘buying you whatever I want, whenever I want’ thing.” I shoot him a dirty look.
“That’s not what I said.” He leans down and kisses me, grinning.
“Indulge me?” I roll my eyes and nod.
I like how he shows love.
***
The packages start to arrive the next morning. It’s two new phones, hundreds of miniature chip trackers, a variety of larger trackers, a shit ton of cameras, and a package Theo doesn’t open.
I lean against the kitchen island and sip coffee as I watch him unpack everything, preparing for a conversation I knew was coming. He seems tense, constantly glancing over at me as he neatly lays all the items on the counter. I just stare at him and wait, sipping my coffee and steeling myself.
“So…” he trails off, running his hands through his hair and shrugging as he flashes me a sheepish smile.
“You know I don’t have a crazy husband looking for me anymore, right?” He relaxes a little and smirks as he pulls me into his arms.
“Not yet, you don’t,” he says, kissing my forehead. I laugh at him and shake my head, looking at everything on the counter.
I was expecting this, just not to this extent.
“Teddy, we talked about this,” I say slowly. His face gets very somber, and he tilts my chin up, forcing me to look at his determined expression.
“I told you I wanted everything back, and you said you wanted options, right?” I nod, and his expression turns steely. “Your options are this, or you’re never leaving the house again unless I’ve got my fucking hands on you. Preferably both.” I give him an incredulous look and laugh at him.
“You can’t be serious.” Theo raises his eyebrows. “Baby, we live together, and I don’t plan on being away from you that often, so you’ve got all the access to me you could possibly want. This is…a lot.”
He shrugs. “It’s basically everything I had before.
” I look pointedly at the enormous piles on the counter, easily double or triple what he pulled out of my apartment, and he sighs heavily.
“Sweetheart, it’s different now, okay? It’s not just about…
access, it’s…” he trails off, shrugging and looking vaguely uncomfortable.
He hates talking about the stalking impulses, so I don’t push.
“Theo…”
“Alex, listen to me,” he says softly, pushing my hair behind my ear, “I have nightmares about how I found you every single night, and then I was kept away from you, worried sick about you every single day for a fucking year. When I told you that I was never letting you out of my sight again, I fucking meant it.” I raise my eyebrows at how harsh his tone gets, and he shoots me a tense look before kissing my forehead and sighing heavily into my hair.
“With that said, I don’t want to stop you from having a life outside of me, so I’ll settle for slightly less than what I want. It’s a compromise.” I snort as I look over the items on the counter again, shaking my head slightly.
I know to pick my battles with Theo, and this isn’t one I’m interested in fighting, partly because I’d lose, but mostly because I see this for what it is.
It’s love.
I pick up the unopened package, turning it over in my hands. I know exactly what’s inside, and I knew this one was coming no matter what. I hold it out to him, and his expression closes off and becomes wary, and I can tell he’s getting ready to fight me on it.
“Non-negotiable,” he snaps, and I lean into him.
“My feelings exactly.” Theo’s eyes go wide. “I was hoping we could start with this one?” He’s on me immediately, kissing me violently and tearing off my clothes, and the package with the tracker falls out of my hands as he slams me back against the counter.