EPILOGUE
DR. MELISSA MILLS
ONE YEAR LATER
“Okay, buddy, that’s enough out of you,” Kayla chastises gently as she picks a crying Henry up off the ground and carries him out of the small grocery store as he starts wailing louder. June looks on the verge of tears as she watches them.
“Mom, I’m so fucking tired,” she says, rubbing her hand over her protruding baby bump. “I don’t know how Kayla did this last time.”
“Kayla didn’t have a teething toddler to contend with,” I say gently, rubbing her back. “She also had a much easier pregnancy. You’ve got this, Junie.” She sighs, pressing one hand over her eyes and blowing out a thin stream of air.
“Can you please finish shopping? We’ll be outside.” She hands me her basket and follows her wife and son. I bend down and grab the chocolate bar Henry wanted before wandering the aisles, looking for what we’ll need for the week.
It’s a small store, and it doesn’t take long to turn down the last aisle. I reach for the oat milk without looking up from the grocery list, and my hand knocks against someone else’s.
I glance up to see a short young woman in an oversized University of Oregon sweater.
“Sorry,” she says in a bright, bubbly voice, “I was looking at my phone.” She waves the phone in her hand before she slips it in her back pocket, giving me a small, friendly smile as she gestures at the oat milk. “You can take it.” I look at the lone carton and back at her, sighing in relief.
“Would you mind? My daughter is vegan, and pregnant, and she hates every other type of alternative milk.”
“It’s all hers,” the woman says warmly, and I smile at her as I slip the carton into my basket.
“Thank you so much. I know she’ll appreciate it.” She nods, grabbing a carton of almond milk instead.
She looks familiar, somehow, but I’m not sure where I’d know her from. I glance at her sweater. Maybe I’ve seen her around campus?
“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but do you go to U of O? You look familiar – maybe you work there? I lecture in the psychology department occasionally.” The woman glances down at the sweater and shrugs.
“No, I just love this sweater.” Her smile broadens, then softens as she looks at me closely. “You look familiar, too, actually. I’m Alex,” she says, offering her hand. I reach out to take her hand, and it hits me exactly where I know her from.
She looks so different that it’s no wonder I didn’t recognize her at first. Her stylishly cut hair is a warm blonde now, her oval face is fuller and rosy, no longer gaunt and pale, and her posture is straighter, her shoulders lower and no longer curved in on themselves.
She’s relaxed and happy, and an entirely different person than the woman I watched testify.
I wonder how Theodore is doing.
I’ve thought about them on and off over the last two years. I should have known better than to get so emotionally involved, but I've always been hopeful that having Theodore’s parole revoked allowed Alex to escape him.
It wasn't the right choice to make, and with how hard he worked to have my license revoked, it almost cost me everything, but now I feel that I might have been right to do it.
“Hi, Alex. It’s so nice to see you again.” She looks at my face for a long moment before the wave of recognition crashes over her, and she looks stunned. She recovers quickly, arranging her face into a tight smile as she glances away from me briefly.
“Hi, Dr. Mills. Um, how are you?”
“I’m doing well, thank you. How have things been going? If you don’t mind me saying this, you seem different. You seem happy.” She blinks, taken aback, but her face relaxes back into a warm, friendly smile after a moment.
“Things are good, and I’m really happy now,” she says softly, a sweet smile on her face. I breathe a sigh of relief.
“That’s so wonderful to hear. Do you live here now?”
“No, I’m just here for the weekend. What about you?”
“My family and I are on vacation,” I say, gesturing to the oat milk and basket of food.
She nods and reaches up to tuck her hair behind her ear, and I notice the obscenely large emerald ring and slim gold wedding band on her left hand.
Anxiety pulses through me, but two years is plenty of time for her to have fallen in love and gotten married to someone new.
I hope.
I gesture to her hand. “That’s a beautiful ring.”
She looks down at her hand and smiles wider. “Thank you. He did a good job, didn’t he?”
“Did you get married recently?”
Her expression tightens slightly as she glances back up at me. “We got married about a month and a half after he got out.” My stomach drops and any trace of a smile slides off my face.
Oh, no.
“You and Theodore are married?” Her mouth tightens as she tilts her head slightly to the side.
“Of course we are. Why wouldn’t we be?” she asks in a challenging tone.
“I just…I thought…well, how’s married life treating you?” Alex narrows her eyes slightly, scrutinizing my face momentarily before sighing.
“Look, I understand and appreciate the idea of what you’re trying to do here, but your concern is misplaced. It’s always been misplaced.” I feel a rush of frustration.
“I don’t think that’s true, frankly. I think Theodore is a dangerous man and an abusive partner, and I think being with him puts you in danger.” She laughs and rolls her eyes, shaking her head at me.
“I’m not in any danger, trust me.” I notice she doesn’t address the other points I’ve made. “Theo’s the only reason I feel safe, and I know he’d never hurt me.”
Oh, this poor woman.
“Stalking is a form of harm, Alex.” Her eyes widen and she flushes angrily, and it’s all the confirmation I need. He absolutely was stalking her, and most likely still is.
“Oh, shut up,” she says harshly. “Theo loving me the way he does is the only reason I’m alive, and I’m very fucking happy to be alive.
” She looks away from me briefly as tears start welling up in her eyes.
“God, Theo's right – you are a shitty therapist. You seem incapable of believing that I want him the way he is, and you took a year away from us because of it. Do you have any idea how hard that was?” I feel a mix of guilt and pity as I look at her, and I keep my tone gentle when I speak to her.
“Alex, do you truly believe this is what’s best for you?”
“Do you think I’m a fucking idiot?” she snaps. “You realize that I know exactly who Theo is and what our relationship is like, right? I chose him because he makes me happy.”
I’m not sure if I believe that’s true, but it’s heartbreaking if it is. I did my best to give her an opportunity to escape him, but there’s nothing I can do for her if that’s how she wants her life to be.
I should have known better than to get involved.
“My family is waiting for me, so I should be going," I say softly. "I wish you all the best, Alex, I really do.”
"Whatever," she mutters as she glances away from me, wiping her eyes quickly. I turn around and startle as I almost bump into a man standing close behind me, and I take a quick step back, grabbing for my purse as it slips down my shoulder.
“Excuse me, I’m so sor-” I stop speaking as I look up and see Theodore standing before me, his arms crossed over his chest and his face locked in that cold, blank look that he used to give me during sessions, the one that means he’s deeply upset about something.
Exactly how long has he been standing there?
He looks almost as different as Alex does now.
His hair is longer than I’ve ever seen it, down to his collarbones, and he’s filled out significantly since the last time I saw him.
He looked thin during his trial, but now he looks more like he did before he killed Alex’s husband, except healthier and broader in the shoulders.
Not for the first time, I’m viscerally aware of what a large man he is.
“Hello, Melissa,” he says in an icy, condescending voice as he steps into my space, looking down at me with barely restrained hatred. “Why the fuck are you making my wife cry?”
Oh my god, he’s furious.
“We were catching up,” I say, trying to keep my voice from wavering. He barks out a laugh, not breaking the direct, unsettling eye contact he’s making with me.
“That’s not what you were fucking doing,” he says quietly, and the hair on the back of my neck stands up.
I work to keep my face from revealing how absolutely terrified I am of him, but from the way his eyes narrow appraisingly and the small, predatorial smile that creeps across his face, he can tell.
“Theo, it’s fine,” Alex says from behind me, her voice exasperated, but he’s so focused on me that he doesn’t seem to hear her. I pull back involuntarily as he leans down slowly, bringing his face closer to mine.
“Do you really think it’s in your best interest to get in between us again?” His voice is low and lethal in a way I’ve never heard before. I try hard to stay calm, but my heart pounds in my chest and my breathing becomes shallow as he stares at me, fury radiating from his gaze.
If he didn’t view me as a threat to his relationship before, he certainly does now. From what I remember, he draws a clear boundary around physically hurting women, but I’m almost positive I’ve made myself the exception to that rule.
I’ve worked with a lot of dangerous, angry men over the years, but this is the first time my life has ever been in danger because of it.
“Teddy.” His eyes widen slightly at the close sound of Alex’s soft, disappointed voice, and his gaze darts in her direction.
She’s moved to my side, zipping a pendant along a necklace chain as she glances between us, her mouth tight.
His demeanor shifts instantly to something less angry but still tightly wound, and he stands back up to his full height as he looks over at her.