Chapter Ten
I have no idea what came over me. I’ve never been that bold, even with Jack. Not even when I was young and uninhibited before Lily.
But here I am, leaving articles of clothing in a trail for Cooper to find me in the shower after he comes back inside. Like he doesn’t know where the one bathroom is.
The front door closes and I can hear his footsteps coming toward me fast. I giggle to myself as I strip off the last article of clothing and turn on the water. When his footsteps are in the hallway, I hop into the shower, the anticipation of him coming in has me excited already.
“Are you ready for me?” he asks, peeking through the edge of the shower curtain. His eyes widen as he takes in my body. “Shit. I’m not ready for this.”
I watch through the crack of the curtain as he begins stripping his clothes off, he hops around on one foot as he attempts to get his socks and pants off at the same time.
“Take your time. Don’t fall.” I warn him.
“There won’t be any taking my time until my hands are on your body.” He never breaks eye contact with me.
As soon as the last article of clothing hits the floor he rips open the shower curtain and comes in, standing close to me with his hands resting on my hips and his hard cock against my belly.
“I don’t know what I’m doing.” I admit quietly. Nerves now getting the best of me. “I’ve only been with Jack and I don’t think that I’m good enough at this.”
“We don’t have to do anything you aren’t ready for, Aubs.” A kiss to my forehead cements that he really means it.
I really don’t think I’m ready. It’s been so long since I was even with Jack.
What if I’m not enough, like Jack always said.
What if he doesn’t want to do this anymore and I turn him off?
I’d be devastated. Not to mention, I already started it.
I’d always get in trouble when I kissed Jack and then tried to reject him taking it further and I’d have to suffer through something I didn’t want.
“But I started something. It’s okay, I’ll be okay.” I repeat it not only for him, but trying to convince myself.
“I can’t do that. If you aren’t here with me, I won’t. Come on, let’s clean up and we can watch your show in bed, yeah?”
I drop my head, staring at the water sluicing over our bodies. “No. I started it. You deserve me to finish it. I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”
He cups my cheeks, holding my gaze to him. “I will not be hurt. You aren’t ready and that’s okay. Your husband just passed away not even a year ago. I totally get it. And from what I’m gathering, things weren’t great. I’m here for whatever you’re ready to give me. Nothing more.”
“Okay.” I don’t know what else to say. I want him, but I feel like I shouldn’t want him. I’m a new widow. What will people think? I shouldn’t want to do this with him. And I don’t know if I’m ready for any of it.
He kisses me deeply and backs us up until my head dips under the spray to wet my hair as his hands massage into my scalp, letting the water soak through my thick layers of hair. Then the scent of my shampoo fills the space as he begins to massage that in.
When was the last time someone took care of me like this? Never. That’s the answer. I can’t even remember the last time I had parents to take care of me. There’s always been something attached to it, a favor owed.
“Cooper.” My whisper is clogged in my throat with tears.
“Shh. Just enjoy this. I want to take care of you.”
I want to take care of him too, so I squirt some soap into my palm, lathering it up and running my hands over his chest. He rinses the shampoo out of my hair while my eyes close, hands still roaming his body.
This is the most intimate moment I’ve ever shared with a man and it makes me question why I’m not ready for anything else. I’m not under any illusions that Jack was a good man, or treated me kindly.
Jack and I were legally married, but we weren’t married. There were no intimate moments, just moments of scratching an itch. At least he was loyal in that regard. I hope anyways, given recent events I can’t be too sure.
My hands travel south along his abs, to where I can feel his hardened cock. Do I want to do that? Do I want to touch him?
The answer is yes. And this feels safe. It feels safe without the pressures of things needing to be more.
I reach down, taking his cock in my hand as his body stills at the contact. I move my hand up and down, testing the waters and he moans in my ear.
“You don’t have to do this, Aubs. I want you to be one hundred percent sure.”
I slide my hands down his shaft to grip his balls, giving a light squeeze. His head falls forward to rest on my forehead.
“You feel so fucking good gripping my cock.” He moans more as I continue the movement. “Can I return the favor?”
I nod, agreeing, our foreheads moving together.
He lathers soap in his palms, starting with my shoulders and working his way down to my breasts. He pinches at my peaked nipples. Fuck, that feels good.
He travels around to my back and down to my ass, squeezing my cheeks.
“You have the most perfect ass,” he says through strangled whispers.
I moan loudly as his fingers ghost their way up my inner thigh. My mind is torn between the feeling of his skin on mine, and pleasuring him so my movements are getting frantic and frenzied, not a smooth motion like they were.
His fingers slip over my clit making me jump at the touch. The feeling is foreign to me. The tenderness in his touch. The only time my husband ever touched me like this was rough and hard, trying to get me wet for sex. It was never tender and meant for my pleasure.
I’m overcome by emotion, staring into Cooper’s eyes.
The moment feels too much so I kiss him to break the spell of his gaze on me.
That feeling of Deja vu is strong. He knows the exact spots that feel so good on me.
I’m melting into him, like the familiar feeling of our bodies meshed together as one is a calling we can’t ignore.
“It’s happening for you again isn’t it? That feeling like this isn’t the first time we’ve done this,” he asks.
Swallowing hard, I answer, “Yes. It feels so familiar. And good.”
He slips into me with two fingers, rubbing my clit with his thumb.
“Aubs, I’m close. I need you to come with me. Your pleasure is what matters.”
I just nod, enjoying the feeling of his hands on me, giving myself over to him.
Beginning to pulse around his fingers, I can feel the orgasm coming.
I grip him tighter as I jerk his shaft, squeezing at the tip before doing it again.
Somehow I feel like I know everything he likes, like every touch is meant to come from me.
It’s empowering and erasing the doubts I felt earlier.
We both still and convulse together in each other’s arms as the water washes away any evidence of what we were doing. Holding each other up as we pant out our matching orgasms. Standing like this together for a moment, enjoying the pure bliss of it all.
“I feel too much when it comes to you, Aubrey. I don’t know why and I can’t help it, but I don’t know that I want to either. I just want to enjoy the feeling I have with you.” Cooper pulls me flush against his body, kissing me.
I don’t answer him, but I do feel the same way and I can’t explain it either. It’s not something I’ve ever felt with another person.
Stretching out in my bed, I hit a hard, hot body next to me.
Opening one eye, I peek out and see Cooper’s handsome face within inches from mine. Memories of last night flood my brain. My hands on Cooper, his hands on me, the tenderness he had washing my hair and body. The emotions that seemed to freeze and overcome my mind.
“Good morning. Happy Easter.” He rouses and pulls me over to him. “Do you think the Easter Bunny left us some coffee?”
I giggle into his neck. “Maybe over at Aggie’s.”
“How about a quick trip to Emerald Roasters before we go get Lily May and start the last day.”
“I do love coffee. And pastries.” I tilt my head back to open myself up to him for a kiss. One he happily gives.
“Come on. Let’s go. I have to stop at home and grab clothes for the day too.” He flips the blankets off us, letting the chill of the early spring air hit my heated body.
“Five minutes.” I whine, pulling the blankets back over my body.
“Nope. We have an Easter Bunny to set up and pastries to eat. Let’s go.
” He slaps my ass clad in the sexy silk tank and shorts set I bought at a local boutique with Emma.
Evelyn recommended it, apparently Hunter knows the owner and shops there often for her.
I needed some new clothes after all the weight I lost from the anxiety of everything with Jack.
Groaning, I roll over, letting my feet hit the floor.
I shuffle over to my dresser and pull out my clothes for the event.
I’ll have to shower before Easter dinner at the Keaton’s inn.
They invited the four of us to join their family after the event and Aggie was too quick to accept.
I was nervous about it when they first accepted, but now I feel like all eyes will be on Cooper and I.
That makes me more nervous than anything.
I’m not even sure what is going on between us so I’m not ready to answer questions about it with anyone else.
Walking out into the open kitchen and living room, I find Cooper slipping on his shoes, a plastic shopping bag housing his clothes from last night.
“Ready?” He looks up at me.
“Yup.” He leads the way out to his truck and opens the door for me. Jumping in, I’m impressed with the cleanliness in here. Most of the men I know use their trucks as a personal dumpster while they’re out working.
We drive the short distance through the fields to his cabin at the inn. He once again opens the door for me to get out.
“What a gentleman,” I joke.
“Ma wouldn’t have it any other way.” Unlocking his door by entering a code into the door handle it lights green and he swings it open.
I’m shocked again by how clean it is.
“This is gorgeous.” I take in the beautiful stone fireplace, the gleaming hardwood floor, and the chef’s kitchen.
“Well it’s only mine for a minute. Emma and Liam want to rent it out as soon as they can as the honeymoon cabin to go along with the barn for spring weddings. I’ve been talking to Tommy about renting out the other cabin he’s got on the property.”
Shit. Cooper being a mere few hundred feet away at any given time… that’s dangerous.
He disappears into a hallway, emerging fully dressed and ready for the day in less than five minutes, still looking better than I do after hours of prepping.
“Time for caffeine,” he announces, rubbing his hands together. “Unless you just want to sneak over to the inn for coffee and fresh pastries? It’s early enough I don’t think anyone will be there except Violet.”
“That sounds better than becoming a public spectacle at Emerald Roasters. Can we walk over?”
“We sure can.” He walks past me, slipping his hand in mine on the way. “I think that her donuts fresh off the pan are my favorite. Especially the Boston Cream.” He licks his lips to emphasize his point.
“I’ve never had that one before.”
He stops walking immediately. “What? Are you being serious?”
“I am.” I giggle at his reaction but he drops my hand to reach into his pocket. “What are you doing?”
“I’m texting Violet to make sure she has some. This is blasphemy and we’re fixing it now.” His fingers link with mine once again.
Walking through the back door of the inn, the smell of fresh baked goods hits you so strongly. Even if you didn’t eat sweets, you’d want them all when you got there.
“You’ve never had a Boston Cream donut?” Violet stands in front of me with her hands on her hip.
“You’re real lucky. We got three left and I ran out to snag two just for you guys.
” She holds out a plate with the donuts.
“I’d go to the office though. There’s a lot of Keatons out there. ” She nods to the kitchen door.
Cooper kisses her cheek. “Thanks for the heads up.” He tosses the donuts in a cardboard box, grabs two coffees from Violet, and pulls me toward the door. “I know the perfect place.”
We practically run from the inn, into the trails that lead out to the cliffs. When he finally stops there’s a large rock sitting right at the edge of the cliff. Sitting down, he reaches out to take my hand and help me to sit.
He hands me a donut, with an expectant look on his face. “This feels like a lot of pressure. What if I don’t like it?”
He laughs at me. “No pressure. If you don’t like it, I get two.”
Again, no pressure. He never pushes me into anything and I don’t know what to do with that. Taking the donut from him I take a bite. The custard bursts on my tongue. Mingled with the sweetness of the chocolate and the pillow soft dough, I can’t help but moan. This is fucking amazing.
“It’s good, right?”
“That word could never encompass how amazing this is. I might never eat another thing as long as I live.” I talk around a mouth full of goodness.
“I knew you’d love it.” His smile lights something warm and fuzzy inside me.
Everything with him is easy and safe. And familiar. Of course he knew I’d like it because somehow he innately knows everything about me.