Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
SEVEN VIRTUES, NORTH CAROLINA
I recently received an email. I so rarely answer them, but felt this was important. “Where can I get fashionable clothes for a friend who is having a mastectomy?”
Try AnaOno. Founder and CEO, Dana Donofree knows exactly what a post-surgical patient needs.
—Eva Henn, Fashion Blogger
There’s no way I’m hearing her correctly. “Mama, you want me to go away for the weekend with Ethan?”
Dr. Lam—Clarabel, as she ordered me to call her after our initial meeting—just left my mother’s room after relieving my heart. “Your mother’s on a definite upswing. With luck, since the surgery went so well, she should be ready to be discharged early to mid next week, Fallon.”
But none of that explains my mother trying to get me away from the hospital. She grasps my hand and entwines our fingers. “Fallon, you’ve done everything possible to ensure I’m comfortable. You’ve been here every available moment.”
“Mama, I’d give up everything for you.” It’s no less than the truth. Fortunately, the team I work with at the Biltmore found a way for me to catalog some data only requiring me to take minimal time off. Grateful, I’ve barely had to leave her side since the doctors went in and removed her uterus.
“I don’t expect you to.” Her voice is firm. Before I can counter her words with reassurance, she goes on. “That being said, the exact same is true. I’d do anything for you, baby.”
My facial muscles relax. “You already have. You’ve always loved me.”
“I always will, Fallon. Still, you’ve barely left my side.”
The relief that sweeps through me, cleansing away the pervasive fear is tremendous. I’m about to suggest we celebrate when she beats me to the punch. “You heard Dr. Lam; I’m not going anywhere. Go meet up with Ethan.”
Guilt wars with my own need to be held and have my heart healed. It comes out as a huff. “I need to be here for you.”
“To hover over me as I watch a Peter Freeman marathon on Food Network? No,” she concludes before I can speak. “You need to pursue wherever your heart leads you, Fallon. Especially now.”
Especially now. I lean forward and lay my head against her stomach. “Mama?”
“What, baby?”
“Will you tell me why you’re not afraid?”
“You think I’m not afraid?”
“You are?” A part of me feels relief I’m not the only one, but knowing it makes me feel guilty for placing a chink in the armor she’s been using to get herself to this point. Surging to my feet, I move toward the window.
“That’s because I’m focused on fighting to live.”
Eyes narrowing, I dare her to lie to me when I face her before challenging, “Are you keeping something from me?”
My mother rolls her eyes. “Fallon, I have been diagnosed with a very aggressive form of Stage IV uterine cancer. While I don’t want anyone to know about it yet, I think I’ll be okay sitting here for a few days until my blood levels even out enough for Dr. Lam to feel comfortable sending me home.”
I try to determine if there’s any subterfuge in her words but find nothing but sincerity there. With a sigh, I capitulate. “Only if you swear you’ll have the hospital call if anything happens.”
She holds up her hand and says solemnly, “I swear, if I try a new flavor of Jello for dessert, I’ll have them call you.”
“Not funny.”
She pinches her fingers together. “A little funny?”
My lips twitch. “Maybe just a bit, but only because I’ll be jealous if you finally get the orange flavor.”
We both succumb to laughter. While I’m grateful for the laughter, I hate this. I hate our banter has been reduced from discussing jobs, TV shows, and men to mocking the fear building up within these four walls.
Maybe that’s a good sign. Maybe cancer should be afraid of two Brookes women set out to destroy it. I want it eradicated, eliminated, pulverized to nothing but a distant memory. I don’t care what it takes—what specialists or medicines my mother requires. No matter the cost, no matter the toll, I’ll do what I need to pull her from the edge of death to the safety of life beyond.
Austyn won’t hesitate, I know. She’ll raise an army to get my mother well, with Paige leading a brigade of doctors right behind her.
That’s why my senses go on high alert when my mother cautions me. “Fallon, I need you to make me a promise.”
“What?”
Tension snaps my back ramrod straight when she requests, “Don’t say anything to anyone about this.”
“Not even Ethan?”
“Not yet.”
Incredulous, I stare at her with my mouth agape. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
She shakes her head.
I sputter, “B-b-but why?”
Her voice is sharp as a knife when she scores my heart with it. “Because until I’ve accepted exactly what I’m facing, I’m not ready to field a million questions? Because it’s my decision? Because it’s my choice and not yours?”
Every word out of her mouth causes her voice to rise and causes me to shrink. She’s right. Of course she is. The problem is I just don’t know if I’m strong enough to handle her prognosis on my own. Surging to my feet, I walk over to the window overlooking Seven Virtues—a place that’s both given and ripped away so many dreams.
I only pray today the saints that supposedly protect our sleepy little town hear my prayers to give me the strength I need to carry my mother through her battle.
“Fallon?” My mother’s voice is filled with regret. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. It’s just…it’s a lot, sweetheart.”
“I know, Mama.” Boy, do I get it. “And I won’t say anything to Ethan.” Not yet, anyway.
Relief flashes across her face. “Thank you.”
I make my way back to her side and take her hand. “Should I be annoyed you’re watching Peter Freeman without me?”
“No.”
“Why not?” I tease her—anything to distract her.
“Because you’re going to forget all about me the moment you fall into Ethan’s arms,” she declares confidently.
Rolling my shoulders, I feel some of the tension ease with my decision. I’ll be able to lean on someone soon. My someone. My Ethan.
Despite the desire to lay my head on his chest and sob out my pain, with my mother’s recent decree, I’m not certain I can. I bite my lip uncertainly. Some of what I think must be visible on my face because my mother amends her statement. Gently, she gives me, “Fallon, you can let him know I’m not well.”
I open my mouth to agree but I stop myself. If I open that door between me and Ethan, I know myself. I’ll tell him everything. There’s no in between. I’ll never honor her request for silence about her prognosis. I have a choice of betraying my mother or holding back her secrets from my lover—which is no choice at all.
I have to keep this news to myself for a little while longer.
“You just worry about your crush on Peter Freeman and let me worry about Ethan and the rest of the Kensingtons.”
“I still don’t understand how you don’t find him as gorgeous as the rest of America does, sweetheart.”
Just then, a commercial pops up touting the star’s newest episode. While yes, he’s attractive, he just doesn’t do it for me. “You can share your man, Mama. I’m a one-man kind of woman.”
Her lips purse. “But.”
That causes me to grin. “Okay, you have me there.”
One heartbeat. Two. Then we both burst into laughter just as Clarabel comes striding in. “Don’t worry, Fallon. I have no problems with sharing some quality Pete Freeman with your mother.”
My eyes narrow on the pretty doctor. This isn’t the first time she’s shortened his name as if she knows him. Could the handsome star be part of the reason she’s here? I’m distracted from my train of thought when she continues, “Her numbers just came back. No discharge for Helen until Tuesday for certain.”
I throw up my hands, knowing I’m beat but grateful for the respite at the same time. I need Ethan—not just for sex, but for the feel of his arms around me when I sleep. I need the tangible reminder that there’s more to pursue in this life than a race into death.
After a quick stop by my apartment, I drive four hours to Charleston with my mother’s request not to share her medical turn with my second family permeating my thoughts. Why? Why would she want me to hide this from my best friend? From my lover’s family?
The question tumbles over and over in my mind until I start seeing signs on the highway for Charleston. Then my heart quickens when I know I’ll be wrapped up in Ethan’s arms within the hour.
Feel his heartbeat beneath my ear.
His body pressing mine back against the mattress.
His fingers dancing along my skin.
My foot presses against the accelerator to shave minutes off an already long drive because suddenly each minute between us is too much. I wish I could levitate from my car and land in front of Charleston Place, but my body’s bound by gravity even if my heart knows it can fly.
Finally, I turn off and hand my keys over to the valet. Ethan had texted me our room number earlier, which I give them. Grabbing my weekender from the backseat, I stride confidently into the hotel and make my way to the elevator to the seventh floor.
The second I’m off the elevator, my stride picks up until I’m jogging to reach the end of the hall as quickly as I can. My breathing is erratic when I reach it. Unable to put a brake on my body or my emotions, I slam up against the wall next to the door. Before I even have the chance to curtail what I’m feeling, the door flings open.
And there he is.
Waiting for me.
He inspects me from head to toe without saying a word before stepping forward and clasping his fingers around my wrist. I’m not sure what he sees when he stares at my face, but for certain, he feels the leap of my pulse the second he opens his mouth and mutters, “It’s about time you got here, witch.”
Then he yanks me into the suite’s foyer, slamming the door behind me before his lips crash down on mine. Everything but this man is obliterated from my mind the second they do.
I should feel guilt, knowing my mother’s only a few hours away and deathly ill, but if Ethan can be nothing more than my silent strength through this ordeal, I need to absorb him into me for all the days I can’t have him.
Dropping my bag, I boost myself up and wrap my legs around his waist. He spins—not lifting his lips from mine—and heads for the bedroom.