Chapter 25
Teagan
“What the hell, are you okay?” Kaya’s mouth drops open in surprise.
“Teagan, I’m so sorry,” Clara says, her face full of pity.
It’s taken me a few days to tell them, but I finally texted in our group chat to see if they could video chat. Luckily, they were both free, and I just finished telling them about the fire.
“I’m okay, I think. Obviously, it fucking sucks, but I can’t change it,” I say as I blow out a breath.
“Wait, where are you staying then?” Kaya asks.
“I, uh… I’m staying with Quentin for the time being. We decided it’ll be easier for him to help me this way once the baby’s here, and I can take my time in finding a new place that’s perfect for Blueberry and me. I’m telling Ian I’m staying at your condo Clara, if that’s okay.”
Part of me still can’t believe I agreed to this. But I know this is going to be the best solution for the baby. It’s important that I don’t stress myself out more than I already am, and moving into a new place on my own would do just that.
“Of course. Honestly, that makes sense. I would probably do the same thing instead of rushing into something temporary and you can take your time to find a permanent place for you two,” Clara remarks as she puts her long locks into a ponytail.
“Are you not worried about anything happening between you two?” Kaya interjects and takes a sip from her coffee mug.
“We’re just two people having a baby, remember?” I remind them, but I don’t know who I’m trying to convince more. Myself or them.
With everything that’s gone on, I’m not even sure anymore.
Hell, the guy even bought me a bunch of clothes so I didn’t need to worry about that right away. It may seem like a small gesture, but to me, it meant a lot because it was one less thing I needed to tackle after losing everything.
“Are you sure about that? What if you see him fresh out of the shower and shirtless?”
I’ll be turned on. I know for a fact because it’s happened a few times. And every time it makes my core ache with need at the sight.
Or what about the time when he saw me in nothing but a tank and boyshorts one morning when I thought he wasn’t home? I didn’t miss the way his eyes hungrily roamed my body, nor the way he adjusted himself in his shorts.
We’re being tested by the universe, and I don’t know how many times we have to retake the test before we both fail.
“No,” I say quickly. “We have a pact and we’re sticking to it.”
“Or you could stick to him, if you know what I mean,” Clara says with a wink, making all of us laugh.
“Practically speaking, though, you do need to be careful,” Kaya speaks up once we’ve all calmed down.
“You’re right. I do need to tread carefully in that sense. But like I said, the motivation to keep things platonic for the baby is stronger than my attraction to him, so I’ll control myself. Plus, between his work schedule and mine, I doubt we’ll even be around each other that much.”
“I think you’ll be fine. You always succeed at whatever you put your mind to, and if it’s not sleeping with your baby daddy again, then I know you won’t,” Clara says, giving me a thumbs-up for encouragement.
I shake my head and laugh. “Thanks, Clara. I appreciate the support.”
“Anytime.”
“I believe in you too. I just always have to play devil’s advocate,” Kaya says.
“And I appreciate that,” I tell her, then ask, “What are you two up to today?”
“I have a game in Nashville today. I’m leaving in a few minutes,” Clara tells me as she zips up her jacket.
“Good luck,” Kaya and I say in unison.
“I’m meeting with my tattoo artist to book my next one to add to my sticker style sleeve, and then I have a pre-season game at home today,” she tells us, home as in California where Team USA’s volleyball teams are based.
“What are you getting?” Clara asks.
Kaya smiles brightly as she says, “Blueberries, for my newest little bestie.”
My eyes shut as emotion hits me so hard and fast that I need a minute to process what she said. Knowing this baby is so loved by even my friends is so special, and I couldn’t be more grateful for them.
“Kaya, that’s so fucking sweet. You don’t need to do that,” I tell her as I sniffle, not letting the tears fall.
She waves me off as she takes another sip of her coffee. “I want to do it. But I do need to get going, ladies. Talk to you all later. Talented trio, crush it today!”
We say goodbye, ending the call as I lie in bed for a few more minutes. It’s quiet with Quentin gone for his afternoon game already.
While I’m used to the quiet, having lived on my own for so many years, I’ll admit it’s nice to come home and hear the sounds of him cooking, or the sports net on TV as he’s on the couch, or hearing him on the phone with his brother.
In the bathroom, I start the shower, letting the water run as I shed my clothes from last night and place them in my hamper.
In just a few days, I was able to make my room, my room. I ordered a hamper, more clothes, toiletries, a floor lamp for cozy lighting, and I found a cool collage of some of my favorite bands that Quentin hung up above my bed.
While it doesn’t replace the personal items I lost, like my trophies and photos, it at least makes this space feel more like me.
“Wow,” I say to myself as Quentin throws the final pitch of the game.
Clearly, his pitching skills were great, yet what I thought was impressive was the way he commanded the game. Whenever he was on the mound, I found myself captivated by him and wondering what he would do next.
He was in control, calm and precise.
It reminds me of myself a little too much, and the ache that subsided from the joy of coaching starts to spread and sit more heavily than it did before.
The other day, I was bored and snooped around the house, finding his office. Seeing all of his trophies and medals reminded me of the life I once lived and breathed, which now seems so far away, especially with everything I physically lost in the fire.
I throw myself a pity party for a few minutes, letting myself feel what I need to feel.
And then, I remind myself who I am.
I’m Teagan Witt, a professional gymnast and world champion. A kickass teacher. A soon-to-be mom. A great friend and sister.
And I can do anything. I know this because I’ve overcome every obstacle that’s ever come my way, this being no different. So while it may be a change in plans, it’s a good thing I’m pretty flexible to begin with.
While watching Quentin’s game was an entertaining distraction, that’s all it was. I needed a hobby or something, a thing I did just for me. Problem is, I didn’t know where the hell to start. I never had time to figure out what I liked to do for fun as a kid or teenager because all I did was train.
My phone begins to ring on the cushion beside me, breaking my inner thoughts apart. I pull it over to me and see Nina’s name on the screen.
With a dreadful sigh, I answer it. I may have been the one who told her to call me when she gets a chance, but I’m still nervous all the same because I’ll be telling her my news.
“Hey, Nina, how are you?”
“I’m great…how are you?” she says warily.
“Well, things have been better, honestly,” I admit as the image of my burned down apartment flashes through my mind.
“I heard about the fire. I’m so sorry, Teagan. I didn’t want to overwhelm you by reaching out. I know how you like to deal with things. But I can look for listings to see if there’s anything similar or close by.”
“That’s okay. Thank you, though.”
“Where are you staying?” she prods.
“Uh, about that.” I chuckle nervously.
“Teagan, you know beating around the bush gives me anxiety. Out with it,” she urges.
I squeeze my eyes shut. “I got pregnant from a one-night stand, and now I’m temporarily living with the father. Also, he may or may not be the pitcher for the Detroit Panthers, Quentin Laurent.”
“Wow,” she breathes, sounding shocked. “Are we…happy about the baby?” she asks cautiously.
“I was shocked at first, but yes, I’m happy.”
Nina squeals. “Congratulations. I can’t wait to buy all the cute baby clothes and spoil them.”
“Thank you, Nina, and I’m sure this baby will be plenty spoiled,” I say with a soft chuckle.
“As your friend, I’m so excited for you, but…” She pauses, then says, “As your agent, this is going to be a media craze. We need to figure out how we’re announcing this. Are you two together?”
“No,” I say quickly. “We’re co-parenting and that’s it.”
“All right, not a problem. I’ll figure out a statement—”
“Nina,” I interrupt. “I know we can’t hold off forever because once I start to show, it’ll be impossible to ignore. But for right now, can we wait? Ian doesn’t know who the father is yet, and he’s not Quentin’s biggest fan…”
“Not a problem. You let me know when you’re ready and I’ll take care of it,” she tells me, then adds, “Are you planning on making your ‘retirement’ permanent, then?”
My stomach sinks at the idea of never competing again. I always knew eventually that day would come, but I imagined it at thirty, not at twenty-four.
“I’ll be competing in the next Olympics, mark my words. I’m not done yet.”
Aside from the fact that I still want to prove myself… There’s still a part of me that wonders if this time my mom will show up.
I’ve tried to convince myself for years that it didn’t matter, and yet, I clung to the tiniest bit of hope. And the problem with hope is that it doesn’t matter how much or how little you have of it, either way, you’ll end up disappointed when it doesn’t happen.
“When are you due?” Nina asks.
“Next January. I’ve been working out at ESA on top of my regular strengthening sessions at the gym, but I plan on getting back to training more rigorously once I’m cleared post-delivery.”
I hear the sound of click clacks from her keyboard as she hums thoughtfully, then she says, “There’s an invitational meet on May fifth, so we can aim to have you ready by then. Keep showing Coach Samuels that you’re doing well and working on your behavior.”
“I’ll be ready.”