Chapter 4 #2
“What does that matter?” I ask, confused as to why he’s bringing any of this up, but then memories of my mom berating Henry for hanging out with Sawyer come to mind.
He’s not like us, she used to tell my brother.
She went out of her way to make it known she never approved of Sawyer, and I’m not surprised he’s sensitive about his work.
“Money isn’t everything,” I tell him. “Are you a good person?”
“If you ask my date, no.”
“Well, bad dates aside, are you going to go out and randomly kill someone?”
“No.”
I lift a shoulder. “Okay, then. Are you happy?”
“Mostly,” he says, side-eyeing me like he’s surprised by my line of questioning, but there’s no way I’m leaving this restaurant with him thinking I’m as shallow as my mom.
“Then that’s all that matters.” I pick up a fry and bring it to his mouth. “Eat.”
“Are you baby birding me?”
Mama birds regurgitate their food, but I don’t bother correcting him. I push the fry to his lips. “Let it happen.”
“You’re so weird,” he says with a laugh as I slip the fry into his mouth, but coming from him, it doesn’t feel like an insult. He nudges me with his elbow as he chews, tipping his chin toward the fries, and I pick one up, popping it into my mouth with a smile.
The rest of dinner is so nice. The conversation between the two of us is easy.
Natural. Maybe because we know each other or maybe because my future doesn’t feel like it’s at stake.
All in all, the night ends way better than it started, and my little crush has turned into a massive, asteroid-sized crush.
He’s funny. Caring. Easygoing. He thinks my work is amazing.
My quitting my job to settle down never came up.
I really need to figure out how to be like this with other alphas.
Sawyer tries to pay for the food, but after a small glare from me and assurance that my mother would be paying, he lets me take care of the bill.
I don’t expect him to pick up the bill my dates left me with.
He was nice enough to keep me company and save me from the most humiliating walk of shame ever.
Besides, my mother won’t notice the charge.
“How long are you in town?” he asks as we make our way to the door.
“Indefinitely. I transferred to the lab here. London was nice, but I missed home.”
A crisp breeze slams into us as we exit the restaurant, and I squeak, wishing I had brought a coat. September is always such a weird month, weather wise. Sawyer wraps his arm around me, pulling me into his side.
My pulse speeds up, and I glance up at him in surprise.
He shakes his head. “Where’s your coat?”
“I thought a sweater would be enough. London wasn’t as cold.” I’m still adjusting to being back in Chicago.
“Where’s your car?”
“Oh, Nigel should be here soon,” I say, frowning as a chill shudders down my spine.
“Jesus, Liv, you’re freezing.” He unzips his oversized jacket with one hand and holds it open. “In.”
My throat goes dry. In there? With him? Where our bodies will press together? I shake my head. “Uh, no, that’s okay. I’m fine.”
He gives me a look that probably has his students standing at attention. “In.”
“Yes, Mr. Flynn,” I mumble, shuffling into the warmth he’s generously providing. “Oh my gosh, you’re like a toaster.” To keep from accidentally groping him, I wrap my arms around his middle.
A rumbling sound emits from his chest. Is that . . . is that a purr? My eyebrows slam together as I glance up at him. His jaw is clenched tight, and his face is contorted in pain. Purrs are supposed to be an alpha’s way of sharing that he’s pleased, but he appears more in pain than happy.
“Are you okay?”
“Fine,” he rasps, avoiding my gaze.
Did I misread his intentions? He told me to get in the jacket. Maybe he meant for me to face the other direction? Confused, I take a step back, but suddenly, his hand is on my hip, searing my skin.
A breath slips out of me, tingles erupt from the base of my spine, and warmth pools in my stomach near where his thumb presses into my torso.
I tip my head, studying Sawyer. I’ve always liked him—and I spent most of my teenage years with an unrequited crush.
He’s been there for me. He knows me better than almost anyone outside of my brother.
The two of them helped me navigate high school without being too awkward.
The way Sawyer is responding to me is new, though, and it gives me an idea.
Sawyer taught me how to fit in.
I enjoyed hanging out with him tonight, and he seemed to have fun too.
In London, I knew an omega who had an alpha-with-benefits.
They helped each other when they needed it, but it wasn’t a relationship per se.
Sawyer is single. He doesn’t want to settle down, and seeing as he’s a teacher, maybe he can teach me how to be a good omega.
An omega a pack would love to have.
“But that’s crazy, right?”
“What?” His eyebrows pinch together. “Are you okay?”
My eyes bounce between his, and I lick my lips nervously, noting the way his gaze dips in response the same way I note developments in our research.
The laws of attraction aren’t so different from the science I’m studying.
It’s all about chemistry. The perfect balance of chemicals can create astounding results.
Sex has to be the same way. If both participants are attracted to one another and willing, the body's response would probably be exquisite.
With Sawyer, it’s more than attraction. I don’t have to go through the pain of getting to know him, and who better to teach me how to date and attract a pack than someone who doesn’t want a serious relationship?
Maybe running into him tonight wasn’t an accident. Maybe fate brought us together. A helplessly na?ve omega and the playboy alpha. It’s perfect, really.
“Teach me how to be an omega,” I blurt out without any grace.
“Uh, what?”
“Please, Sawyer. As you saw, I’m not good at dating. I don’t know how to be a good omega, and you’re the only one I can ask. I need help.” But there are people you can pay for stuff like this, too, right? “If you don’t want to, that’s okay. I can probably hire someone.”
Sawyer’s eyebrows hit his hairline. The glow from the restaurant’s sign bathes him in golden light. He really is handsome. “Liv, what exactly are you looking to learn?”
I swallow. “Everything.”
He pauses for a beat. “Like everything, everything?”
Dropping my gaze, I chew on my cheek and nod. I’m too embarrassed to admit out loud that I’m a virgin. He might laugh in my face. This was a dumb idea. “Never mind,” I say quickly, pulling away. “I’ll just hire someone.”
His other hand grabs me, and with a firm grasp on my hips, he pins me against his hard body. My eyes lift to his in question. The cerulean color of his irises darken for a second, roaming over my face. Is that anger? I prepare for the sting of rejection. I never should have brought it up.
“I’ll help you,” he says. “But you have to promise me you won’t hire someone.”
“What if I want to practice what you teach me?”
His throat bobs and he moistens his lips. “You can practice on me.”
That’s a lot to put on him without any sort of benefit on his side. “I can pay you,” I offer.
“Fuck,” he says with a chuckle. “Liv, I don’t want your money.”
“Okay . . .” I search his face. “Tell me what I can do to make it up to you.”
“I’ll think of something,” he says, shrugging.
“We can’t tell Henry.”
He nods in agreement. “Pretty sure he’d kill me.”
“Definitely.” My mind is going a million miles a minute. I have so much to learn. How to nest properly in a pack’s house. How to take care of an alpha. How to . . . take a knot. How to put his dick in my mouth. Oh my god. I’m going to put his dick in my mouth.
My cheeks flame. What do cocks even taste like?
“What did you just think about?”
“Nothing,” I say, voice tight. Familiar twin headlights pull into the parking lot, and I leap away from Sawyer. “I’ll text you? Maybe we can meet up next Sunday and start?” I rush to jump into Nigel’s car, not giving him time to back out.
“Is that Sawyer?” Nigel asks.
“Hmm?” I ask, glancing out the window like I don’t know what he’s talking about. “Oh, look at that, I guess it is.”
Nigel’s gaze seeks mine in the rearview mirror, but I studiously ignore it. I’m too focused on the way my heart is nearly beating out of my chest.
Did that really happen?