Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
OLIVIA
My mind is on overload.
We’ve been hard at work testing the new formula, making micro adjustments and studying the reaction.
All the numbers and data are running on a loop in my brain.
Something isn’t right. There’s something to adjust, but I don’t know what, and it’s driving me crazy.
Like an itch I can’t scratch, I can feel how close we are to finding some relief, but none of our calculations have quite hit the mark.
When my mind isn’t full of equations and data, it’s running through the conversation I’m going to have tonight with Sawyer and his pack.
I’ve been mulling it over, and if I really want to please a whole pack, and not just one alpha, I have to adjust the study.
It’s logical that I ask his whole pack to help me learn.
So, I’ve created a PowerPoint presentation outlining my proposal, the pros and potential cons, the data I’d like to gather, and how I plan to quantify my findings.
I’m excited, nervous, and more than a little distracted.
Which is why I’m taken so completely by surprise when my mother blindsides me the moment I step into her house after work.
“There you are, Olivia,” she calls from the sitting room. Her voice has taken on the fake, singsongy quality she usually reserves for people she deems more important than me. But it doesn’t entirely hide her irritation. “We’ve been waiting for you for quite some time, darling.”
As I come to a halt in the foyer, my eyes bounce between Mother and a prim-looking woman who sits straight-backed and unmoving on the sofa in the next room. She looks entirely too dour to be one of my mother’s pretentious friends, and I don’t want any part in whatever this is.
“I was at work. Like every weekday.” I’m tempted to run up to my room and escape this awkwardness, but decades of social conditioning keep my feet rooted to the spot as I paste on a bland smile.
My mother sniffs. “Yes, well, Carrie was kind enough to fit us into her busy schedule, so let’s not keep her waiting.” She pats the spot on the sofa between herself and Carrie. “Come, come, darling.”
“I’m so sorry, but I have plans this evening. Can whatever this is wait?”
Fire flashes in my mother’s eyes, but she manages to mask it before turning to the prim stranger and offering an apologetic smile.
“You can see why she needs help finding a good pack. Despite my best efforts, Olivia is better at understanding numbers than social cues.” She titters condescendingly.
“But I’m certain she can learn to please a pack. ”
Her words have my back going ramrod straight.
It’s not the first time she’s implied I’m lacking in essential omega traits, and it won’t be the last, but hearing it said so casually in front of a complete stranger is humiliating.
Besides, I’m well aware of my social deficiencies.
It’s why I’ve asked Sawyer for help. Why I have an entire slideshow prepared to ask his packmates for help.
“Yes, I’m sure,” Carrie says, sniffing as she looks me over. Whatever she sees, it’s clear she also finds me wanting when her lips curl. “I work with very exclusive clients, Marnie. If your daughter isn’t going to take this seriously, I don’t think this is going to work.”
“Oh, trust me, Olivia will take this very seriously. Not every omega has the opportunity to be paired with a pack by the most sought-after matchmaker in Chicago.” My mom glares at me. “Now, come sit down, darling. It’s time we find you a pack.”
Dread pools in my stomach, swirling around with the anticipation I’ve been feeling about going to Sawyer’s. It’s enough to make me nauseated, but the quickest way to get out of this situation is to simply play along.
How bad can it be?
After the ambush at home, I’m running late.
Sawyer was understanding when I texted him, but I’m fuming as Nigel drives me to his house.
Hours of listening to Mother and Carrie talk about my flaws and what I need to change had me battling self-loathing, but now I’m simply mad.
Why do I have to change? It’s like they thought there’s no possibility a pack out there will love me as I am, and the arithmetics of that aren’t arithmeticing.
There are over eight billion people in the world.
The possibilities may be low, but they aren’t nonexistent. That’s just simple math.
“She means well,” Nigel offers gently as he glances at me.
“Does she?”
“I believe she does. But that doesn’t mean you have to accept her vision for your life, sweetie. You’re an adult. A brilliant, capable one, at that. Don’t let her steamroll you.”
Reaching across the center console, I give Nigel’s hand a squeeze. What would I do without him? “I know. Thank you. She knows exactly how to make me feel like a child. It’s frustrating.”
“So you spend your time with people who make you feel good about yourself and put some distance between you and your mother.” Nigel glances at me again, his tone turning careful. “Does Sawyer make you feel good about yourself, Livvy? Because if he doesn’t . . .”
I chuckle. He’s such a protective old man. “He does, Nigel. He really does.”
“Good.” Nigel smiles at me as we pull up in front of Sawyer’s cute little house. He rounds the car to open my door, grinning as I sling my laptop case over my shoulder. “Make sure it stays that way.”
I grin. “Don’t worry. I intend to.” One PowerPoint presentation at a time.
Nigel gives me a fatherly hug, then sends me on my way.
My pulse quickens as I step up to Sawyer’s door, my breath harder to catch.
I don’t know why I’m so nervous. Even if Sawyer’s pack doesn’t want to help me learn how to please a pack, he won’t back out of our deal.
But I can’t lie to myself and deny how curious I am about his packmates, and how much I want to experience their kisses and knots too.
For purely scientific reasons, of course.
At least, that’s what I plan to keep telling myself.
Before I can even knock, the door swings open, and Wilder’s smiling face looms over me.
“Sweetness, you’re here!” And then he scoops me up in a hug that leaves my feet dangling off the ground and giggles pouring from my lips.
“Put her down and let her come inside, Wilder.” Sawyer steps up behind the smiling giant and slaps him upside the head, making me giggle harder.
“Harsh, dude. Not cool.” But Wilder doesn’t put me down. He simply carries me inside, my feet still swinging. To me, he whispers, “Hi, Liv.”
“Hi, Wilder.”
I’m deposited on the couch with my laptop case, and my cheeks heat when I see Hayes watching us from the kitchen. I climbed him like a tree. I kind of want to again, but I’ll have to present my proposal first.
“Hi, Hayes. Sawyer.” Their other packmate is missing. I furrow my brow. Well, I can always share my proposal with him when he arrives.
“Vixen.” Hayes's deep voice goes straight to my core. I’m glad he’s not mad at me for practically mauling him. I certainly enjoyed myself, but there’s a twinge of guilt for overwhelming his senses.
Sawyer chuckles before bending down and drawing my attention his way with a knuckle underneath my chin. When I tilt my head up, he smiles softly at me, making my heart flutter with an arrhythmic beat. “Hey, baby.”
I sigh against his lips when he leans down and brushes his mouth over mine. “Sawyer.”
“What’s the laptop for?”
My brain must have been scrambled by his kiss because it takes me a moment to compute what he asked. “Hmm?”
Sawyer chuckles. “The laptop, Liv. What’s the laptop for?”
“My presentation.”
He pulls away, leaving me struggling to catch my breath. “What presentation?”
“About why I think it would be beneficial for me to learn how to be a good omega with your whole pack, not just you.”
“Fucking hell,” Hayes mutters from the kitchen, glass clattering against the countertop. A moment later, he strides into the room with four beer bottles. He passes them out to his twin and Sawyer before offering a bottle to me. Condensation drips down the side as I take the cool glass in my hand.
Deciding a little liquid courage couldn’t hurt, I bring the bottle to my lips and suck down several gulps. When I lower the amber bottle, I discover all three men are watching me with expressions ranging from amusement to curiosity and heat.
Right. Let’s do this. Without letting myself overthink things further, I unzip my bag and pull out my laptop. Hayes chuckles beside me, but I ignore him, pulling up my slideshow.
“Liv, baby, you don’t have to do some presentation to convince us.” Sawyer walks around the back of the couch and settles on one of the cushions. “Really, I don’t think it’s necessary.”
“It is,” I reply. “We should all be aware of the variables and potential outcomes before engaging in a sexual relationship.”
“Fuck.” Hayes runs a hand over his face.
Anxiety stirs in my chest. It’s now or never. I stand, setting my computer on the coffee table facing them, my back to the front door so I can see the three of them. When the first slide populates on the screen, I suck in a fortifying breath and launch into my prepared remarks.
“As I’m sure Sawyer has told you, I’ve been on scent and heat control my entire adult life because I didn’t want anything to interfere with my education.
It’s not that my omega status would automatically exclude me from those pursuits, but the biological urges that characterize my designation can, at times, overwhelm and obscure more analytical goals. ”
Even now, with a clear objective in mind and a well-constructed presentation at my fingertips, I’m struggling to ignore my omega instincts.
The sheer delicious potency of the alpha scents in this room has slick pooling between my thighs, and my nipples are painfully hard.
My brain demands I press on with my objective, while my body urges me to drop to my knees and take a cock in my mouth, arch my back, and demand one of the other alphas fill me with a knot.
It’s equally thrilling and frustrating, and I’m overwhelmed by the conflicting desires.
Hayes inhales deeply, his chest rumbling in response to the pheromones I am no doubt producing.
“While this has made it easier for me to be successful in a scientific and professional capacity, it has left me . . . deficient in other ways.”
“I highly doubt you’re deficient in anything, beautiful,” Wilder says kindly, his eyes flickering to something behind me.
I push on. “I’m well aware that most omegas my age know how to give blow jobs and take a knot.
I’m a twenty-seven-year-old virgin, Wilder.
I’d argue that, for an omega, those are deficiencies.
Which is why I’d like you all to help me learn the art of sucking a dick and how to take a knot.
We can start tonight, if you’d like. I have lube in my purse.
Not that I think we’ll need it. Ever since I’ve stopped with the scent control, I produce an alarming amount of slick around each of you. ”
There’s a sharp inhalation behind me, then someone starts coughing.
Startled, I spin to find out who entered Sawyer’s house without me knowing. I will be so embarrassed if I said all that in front of Nigel. I don’t know why he would walk into the house without knocking, but who else could it be?
But it’s not Nigel. No, the wide, hazel eyes staring at me like they’ve seen a ghost don’t belong to Nigel, though they are almost as familiar.
Their unique hazel hue flecked with gold used to be familiar and comforting.
When I was younger, I spent many hours staring into their striated depths while we spun and waltzed across parquet floors, my right hand in his, his left hand lightly supporting my back.
He made the endless hours of instruction feel less like torture and more like stolen moments filled with secrets.
My voice comes out breathless, due to my body’s response to his sudden appearance. At least he looks as stunned as I feel.
“Liam?”