Chapter 32 #2
I want to get a skate in before work, so I’ll be out long before anyone wakes up anyway.
I’ll pack an overnight bag.
Cam
Clothes are strongly discouraged behind my locked bedroom door.
Me
Sold.
Cam
Done and done. Can’t wait to see your face later.
Me
Me too.
Now go throw a football or something. We have no use for men around here.
Sticking my phone in my pocket, I go back into the living room with a bowl of candy popcorn in one hand and a twelve-pack of orange soda cans in the other.
Setting everything on the coffee table, I take a seat on the mound of pillows and blankets on the floor, clearly walking right into the middle of the weirdest conversation that has ever graced my living room.
And I’m friends with all these women, so that’s really saying something.
“A broom?” Riley asks, brow furrowing.
“Yep.” Sarah nods, taking a huge bite of a chicken taco and talking around it. “In some Malaysian Indian traditions, when a girl gets her first period, her family puts a broom outside her bedroom door to ward off evil spirits. Apparently evil spirits like young blood.”
“In Brazilian culture, it’s a huge celebration. The girl’s family and friends are notified like it’s breaking news,” Emmy says. “My college roommate freshman year was from Brazil, and she told me she had fourth cousins calling to congratulate her.”
Riley wrinkles her nose. “So, what you’re saying is that I’m lucky to be here with you and not stuck in my room being guarded by a broom or getting phone calls from relatives I don’t know to congratulate me on becoming a woman or whatever?”
“Ew, that whole becoming a woman thing is so creepy and gross.” Maya digs a chip into a massive bowl of guacamole.
“You’re still a kid, just with the addition of cramps and cravings for a few days every month.
And anyway, you’re damn lucky to be hanging out with us.
We’re awesome. Your own personal period posse. ”
Riley laughs, taking another taco from the platter in the middle of our little circle. “Period posse?”
Sophie makes a face. “That’s a terrible name. Why not just induct Riley as an official member of the Smart Bitches?”
“Yes!” Maya beams at Sophie. “I love it.”
“What’s the Smart Bitches?” Riley asks.
Emmy reaches around me and grabs an orange soda, popping the top on the can.
“It’s our little girls-only club. The one where we remind ourselves that we’re badass, beautiful, and brilliant and we belong in all the places, including the ones people tell us we shouldn’t be in. Absolutely no boys allowed.”
Riley grins. “I love it. Like when Robbie O’Connor told me I don’t belong in honors algebra because I’m a girl?”
Sophie, our resident STEM genius, scoffs. “Excuse my language, but fuck that so hard. I hope you told him to shove it.”
Riley’s grin turns devious. “I did one better. I studied my ass off so I could make sure to beat his score on every single quiz and test we’ve had so far this year. And when he asked me what chapters would be covered on the midterm, I told him the wrong ones.”
“Queen behavior.” Sarah gives Riley a satisfied nod.
“Definitely Smart Bitches material,” Emmy says with a smile.
“Can Zoe join too? She’s smarter than I am. She designed all the sets for the play with, like, proper measurements and everything, and is head of the stage crew, figuring out when the sets need to be changed and in what order. She’s so freaking talented.”
“Smart Bitches rule number one.” I point at Maddy. “Always support your girls. You passed with flying colors. Zoe is definitely Smart Bitches material.”
Riley beams, and Caitlin reaches into a giant tote bag she brought with her. “This calls for a celebration.” Rooting around a little, she comes up with a handful of black fabric that turns out to be T-shirts and tosses one to each of us.
I hold mine up, smiling when I see the words Exist Loudly emblazoned on the front in hot pink script. I don’t even bother asking how she managed to get one for Riley too on such short notice. Caitlin Parker works in mysterious ways.
“I thought it was time for a club motto.” Caitlin looks at each of us and lingers for an extra second on Riley with a small smile. “Especially now that we’re inducting some new members.”
“What does it mean?” Riley asks.
Caitlin nods, like she approves of the question.
Riley smiles, and I totally get it. Getting Caitlin’s approval feels like an accomplishment.
She radiates a kind of quiet competence, like she can handle her shit and everyone else’s too, and she rarely speaks unless she has something important to say.
“It means speak up. Take up space. There is a lot about being a woman in this world that can be hard. There are people practically lined up to tell you what you can and can’t do, like that asshole telling you that you don’t belong in honors algebra because you’re a girl.
It happens more as you get older, and Exist Loudly is a reminder that they’re wrong.
That you belong everywhere you want to be because you’re smart and awesome and you’re going to accomplish really great and important things.
And it’s also a little reminder that you have a lot of women on your side cheering you on. Your friends, of course, and also us.”
Riley looks around the circle thoughtfully. “I think maybe that’s why I like theater. Because I get to take up space, like you said. Like, I get to show everyone what I can do all the way out loud.” She shrugs. “And also, it’s really fun.”
“Fuck yeah, it is,” Sophie says with a grin. “I can’t wait to see your play next month. God, I miss performing.”
“Why don’t you do it anymore?” Riley asks.
Sophie sighs. “Life happened. I have a big job, and it takes up a ton of time. I really love it, but it would be cool to be on stage again.”
“Doesn’t Fieldston have opportunities for alumni to volunteer and stuff?” I ask, smiling a little at the longing in Sophie’s eyes. “They must.”
“They do,” Riley confirms. “A few of the grown-ups helping out with the play went to Fieldston for high school. Some of them don’t even have kids at the school. They just do it because they want to.”
“See?” Emmy says. “You should totally do it, Soph. Get your ass back on a stage. You’re a theater kid. Theater kids belong in the theater.”
“You should.” Caitlin grabs another taco, taking a bite and chewing thoughtfully. “I think you would love it.”
“Oh my god, please do it!” Riley exclaims. “They just announced the spring musical. We’re doing Footloose, and I’m auditioning for Ariel even though I have the lead this semester so I probably won’t get it again, but I really want to try. Anyway, you should come help! It’ll be so much fun.”
Sophie beams. “I did Footloose at Fieldston a million years ago. I was Ariel.”
“Shut up!” Riley says. “Will you run lines with me for the audition?”
“You bet. I can probably even find my old script somewhere. I think it’s in my parents’ basement.”
“It’s definitely in your parents’ basement,” I say dryly. “You haven’t thrown away one single thing in your entire life.”
“What can I say?” Sophie says breezily. “I am who I am.”
“A mess?” Caitlin says at the same time Emmy says, “A packrat?”
Sophie waves them away. “I prefer to call it holding onto my memories. And the times I performed are some of my favorite memories.” She turns to Riley.
“Trust me and keep everything. One day you’ll look back on the years you spent performing, and you’ll be so glad you have it. It’s like a little time capsule.”
Riley nods. “I know. I have every script I’ve ever used, all the way back to the first play I was in when I was in third grade.”
“See?” Sophie says, holding up a hand for Riley to slap. “She gets it. It’s a theater kid thing. You guys wouldn’t understand.”
I laugh, feeling a rush of fondness for my bright and sunshiny friend. For the way all my friends dropped everything to come here today and are treating Riley like their own, knowing she needs a little extra support today. The company of women.
“I hope Zoe and I are like you guys one day,” Riley says, out of nowhere. “Like, the way you all are together. It’s nice. Special, kind of. Like, it’s easy to tell you all love each other a lot.”
I put an arm around her shoulders and squeeze. “We do. We’ve been friends and family our whole lives. What you and Zoe have is also special, and you’ll make other friends as you get older who will be important to you too. There isn’t anything more important than having girlfriends.”
Riley gives me a side-eye. “Even my dad?”
Maya snorts out a laugh. “Yeah, Mads, even her dad?”
I roll my eyes. “It’s a different kind of important, Ry.”
She laughs. “I know. I was just kidding. My life would suck without Zoe, so I totally get it.”
“You have us now, too,” Sarah says with a grin. “If you need to vent or complain about whatever or you need to talk to someone who isn’t your dad, or you just want to eat a ridiculous amount of junk food, you can always come to us. We’re, like, your older and wiser besties.”
Emmy nods. “Once a smart bitch, always a smart bitch. We’ll tell Zoe the same thing when she gets here.”
“They’re right,” I tell Riley. “We’ve got your back.”
Riley sighs happily, leaning her head on my shoulder. “Thanks, Maddy. I’m really glad I got my period today so I could skip school and hang out here with you guys. This is a really good day.”
I lean my head on hers, swallowing hard at the ball of emotion that’s suddenly lodged in my throat.
Glancing around, I see on all my friends’ faces that they get it.
That my heart is entirely lost to this girl.
To her brother. To her dad. And sitting in this circle of women, I make a silent vow that I’ll do whatever I have to do to keep them all.
From here on out, they all belong to me.