Chapter 9 Mathew
Mathew
The house is quiet, the rest of the pack is asleep and so are most of the people from the organisation. There are a couple of security guards on duty, but I only hear them from time to time. The rest of the time it’s quiet, too quiet.
I’ve only got the single light on in the library near the table, just enough to see the laptop and the papers in front of me. I don’t need anything else, this is more than enough when it’s only me in here.
The raid is only two days away. All the plans are in place. The only thing that would change anything right now is if the Hearts suddenly do something we didn’t expect or if we have to abort it for some other reason, but —barring that— we’re done with the planning stage.
It feels strange.
I’ve been wanting to take the brothel down for nearly a decade.
When I first got here, I was mostly worried about surviving and keeping my head above water. Learning the tricks of the trade as quickly as possible so I’d be able to stay alive in this brand new world.
But, once I’d found my feet, dreams of taking the brothel down started to come up more and more often.
Only, I knew that to pull it off, I was going to need not only a bigger team, but also connections with other groups of people and organisations that I didn’t have yet.
I couldn’t just barge in and take the kids out, I didn’t have a way to protect them.
Taking them out without a plan of what to do next would put them in even more danger.
I’ve rescued people when it was possible, but that was usually only a single person at a time, two at most, and they were all in their late teens or older.
Old enough to mostly take care of themselves.
Providing them with a roof over their heads, clothes and some money was usually enough for them to get new start in life.
But, this time, we’re dealing with a lot of young kids, young teens, people who need a lot more care than what we can provide here. Plus, the Hearts will be looking for them, and we can’t protect that many kids here, we don’t have the space or manpower to hide them away.
I stare at the maps of the brothel, running my fingers through the hallways, up the stairs, to the room I used to share while I was there.
I still remember how the room used to smell, filled with terrified pheromones, and the sounds people made when they had nightmares, the crying, the begging, the screaming.
And also, the tender moments we shared. Tender moments that were at the same time stark reminders of our horrible situation.
Treating cuts and burns. Teaching each other make-up tricks to hide our dark circles and bruises.
Holding each other tightly at night to hopefully keep the nightmares away, nightmares where we relived our worst memories.
I swallow hard as I wipe the tears from my eyes.
No matter how long it’s been, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget those things.
I hope that the younger kids won’t have to live with these same memories, that they’ve not been hurt that badly yet.
And I hope that the older kids will be able to find people who’ll make them feel safe and protected, to ease the pain from their memories, to create new happier memories.
That they’ll get the help they need as soon as possible, instead of having to struggle through it on their own, like I had to.
That’s all that I really want from the raid, to give those kids better lives, better futures.
Taking that one brothel down won’t do much to harm the Hearts.
Sure, they won’t like it and some people are going to get punished for letting it happen, but it ultimately won’t be a big deal to the Hearts as a whole.
Still, taking down that specific brothel will feel good on a personal level, because of my history with it, because of Luca’s history with it. And it means that we’ve cut off at least this particular part of their income and businesses.
But my main reason for needing to do this is so that I can hopefully prevent more kids from going through what I went through. So that they won’t end up in my situation, so that they’ll have more and better choices in life.
I don’t mind my position, my job. But I’m an outlier. I pretty quickly caught on that I’m good at running an organisation, that I’m good at making deals, reading people and getting shit done. That I have no problem with intimidating people and if that doesn’t work, making good on my threats.
That’s me, that’s who I am, it’s why I’m good at my job.
Most people, I would say the majority, aren’t like that. They would not be able to live like I did.
I went from one precarious situation to another one, the danger was different, but it still wasn’t a safe place, especially not when I first took over. Before Derrick and the others joined me.
I want those kids to get a normal education and then go on to get normal jobs. I want them to have normal lives.
Boring lives, maybe, but normal, where the most danger they’ll encounter each day is turning onto the highway on their way to work and hoping that nobody falls asleep behind the wheel during their morning commute.
Or something like that. I don’t actually know what ‘normal’ people fear in their daily lives, but that sounds pretty scary.
A light sound catches my attention and I jump up, nearly toppling my chair. I’ve got my knife in front of me, ready to protect myself, when I recognise Riley’s shape in the shadows of the library.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.” She shuffles in my direction, rubbing her eyes.
Her long hair is a mess and she’s wearing an over-sized nightshirt she made, the one Vera loves so much because the fabric is really soft and it’s in alternating stripes of what Vera calls ‘light honey and light wisteria’, light yellow and light purple for the rest of us.
I put the knife away and pull my chair close again, sitting down. “Can’t sleep?” I try to calm my heart.
I hadn’t even noticed her footsteps before she was this close. I was way too far gone in thoughts. Fucking hell. That doesn’t usually happen to me.
“Woke up. You weren’t there.” She pulls out the chair next to mine and sits on it like she doesn’t have any bones, like she’s going to slide right off. “Why are you still working? You should sleep.”
I stare at the maps in front of me. “Can’t.” I let out a chuckle without any joy. “Probably because I took a nap with Vera and Luca this afternoon. My brain’s working too hard to fall asleep right now.”
“Ah.” She turns one of the maps so she can take a better look. “Not looking forward to going back in, I presume?”
“Part of it, yes.” Thinking of going back into that building is giving me shivers. “But I’ve always known I would have to do it at some point. I’ve always known that I’d go back in, see the same places as before, walk through those hallways.”
“I’m sorry.” She reaches out, putting her hand on mine, surrounding me in dark rose pheromones, trying to soothe me.
“Have you ever been back to the place that Erika and the pack rescued you from?”
That seems to make her think for a moment, waking her up some. “I’m pretty sure that’s impossible. The building was demolished not long after.”
“Well, that’s my plan too. Take the building down and put something better in its place.”
That way, nobody has to be reminded of what used to go on in that place. But also, it might help the rest of the neighbourhood get out of the clutches of the Hearts. Brothels isn’t the only thing they’ve got their fingers in. They’ve got plenty of other types of businesses that they meddle with.
My hope is that, if we take the brothel down, it might loosen their grip on the area enough to help other people escape from them too, or, at least, help them build up enough of their own business to create an escape plan.
Riley smiles, nodding. “That’s a nice idea.”
“It’s not really my area of expertise, but I’m sure I know people with connections to make it happen.
” And it might not be a bad idea to set up a charity to help out disadvantaged neighbourhoods.
It would also be a good cover if we take more parts of the Hearts down and need to rebuild other places.
And the positive coverage won’t hurt either.
“Anyway, you should really try to get some rest.” Riley stands up, putting her hand on my shoulder. “Erika and the rest will be arriving in a few hours. I don’t think you’ll want to meet them all wrung out. Right?”
I stare up at her. She’s right. I really should get some sleep, but when I close my eyes, I’m back to being a teenager, caught in that building.
Reliving my memories over and over, all night long.
I thought I’d escaped the nightmares, I thought they were finally gone, but they’ve been returning lately.
Not when I take naps during the day, when it’s still busy around us, when there are plenty of people around, but at night, when everything is quiet.
“Would you prefer to sleep in the nest? Would that feel safer?” Her pheromones fill with concern.
I shake my head. The nest is too quiet, much too quiet.
“Would you like to sleep in here? Or in the living room? I’ll stay with you the whole time.” Before I can answer, she pulls on my arm, smiling brightly. “I’ve got a better idea. Come on.”
She seems so excited and I don’t have the energy to fight her, so I let her pull me along.
She darts into the living room, grabs a couple of blankets from the couch, and then opens the door to the deck.
She pulls the pillows from the lounge chairs and puts them side by side, stacking a couple of them on top of each other so it’s almost a bed.
Then she drops the blankets on top of them, before turning to me and taking my hands.
“This isn’t a closed-off space. And out here, you can hear your people as they patrol and run around to get things ready for the raid. It’s not as quiet. Try it. Close your eyes.”
I close my eyes, ignoring the way my heart is beating in my chest, and then realise she’s right. Out here, there’s enough background noise to not feel alone, to not feel locked-up.
“Thanks.” I look at her. “Thanks so much.”
She flashes me a grin. “Now, let’s get under the covers and maybe you’ll finally get some sleep.” She drags me to the makeshift bed and pulls enough blankets aside so I can get in. Then she slides in with me and covers us.
Even though I didn’t expect it, it doesn’t take me long to fall asleep, a sleep without nightmares or dreams, but a restful sleep all the same.