21. Silas
Chapter 21
Silas
M y entire body is shaking by the time I come out of the nightmare. I can’t make it stop, every inch of me shivering uncontrollably. My teeth chatter, and I try desperately to keep quiet so I don’t wake Bianca who is sleeping a few feet away from me.
But I can’t stop.
I can still feel the blade slipping into my skin, the searing pain of it as River reopens the wound again and again. My breathing is ragged, and I grip the soft grass beneath me, hoping to ground the panic.
“Hey, easy.” Then Bianca is there, her hands going to either side of my head as she cradles me, her fingers delicately stroking my skin. “Breathe, Silas, it’s okay. You’re safe.”
Safe? Is she crazy? We’re not safe. We’re out here in the open, trapped in the backyard of a killer. How is that safe?
“Breathe,” she says again, her emerald gaze locking on mine.
Even with only the light of the moon overhead to grant me visibility, I lock onto her beautiful face. To the calmness in her expression.
And I press the heel of my palm to my chest, just above my heart.
I breathe. Deep breath in, deep breath out.
“There you go, it’s going to be okay,” she coos. “Just keep focused on me, Silas. Always stay focused on me.”
“Okay, I think everything is where I want it now.” Hands on her hips, Bianca studies the medical cabinet she just logged and organized. Abana is beside her, making notes on a clipboard, which she then offers to Bianca. “It’s not everything I would typically want, but it’ll do.”
Idra is out gathering water, while Laring sits in a chair in the corner, humming softly and running her hand over her belly. I can’t help but feel a bit of joy when I look over and see how relaxed she is.
Bianca did that. Bianca pulled her and her husband out of that pit, fought for them to stay here, and pushed back so a woman could bury her husband rather than allowing Yarrow to discard the body the same way they did my teammates all those years ago.
She’s an incredible woman.
Bianca turns and catches me watching her. Her cheeks flush. “What?”
“Nothing. Just admiring your work,” I say, gesturing to the cabinet.
“Oh. Well, I figured if I’m going to do a job, I might as well do it right. Wait, how much gauze do we have?” she asks, then checks the clipboard.
“I’m going to step outside a moment.”
“Okay,” Bianca replies.
Since there’s only one door in and out of this place, I don’t worry as I step out of the door and onto the dirt street, though I remain right beside the door as I study the area. As we were escorted here this morning, I’d looked for weak spots in their defenses.
So far, unfortunately, I’ve found none. River runs a tight ship, just as Lucian did all those years ago. The fence around the camp is topped with razor wire, the dirt beneath it hard enough it would take tools and a lot of manpower or time to dig our way out.
Guards patrol consistently, and when I was out here two hours ago, I noticed they were rotating locations. Which it looks like they’re doing now. No long assignments here, no chance for the guards to get complacent.
I turn my attention to the pit.
Guards patrol above, shouting orders occasionally or just yelling expletives at the people working down inside. It infuriates me, but I know there’s nothing I can do about it…yet.
“Hey!”
I shift my attention to a group of kids as they rush over toward me. Two boys, who look to be around ten, three younger ones who are likely six or seven, and a little girl who appears to be around Eloise’s age.
My chest aches thinking of her. I miss her. So, so much.
“Hey,” I reply.
A boy in front of the group, wearing tattered pants and a tan linen shirt, looks up at me curiously. “You are American, yes?” he asks.
“I am. You speak good English.”
He beams at me. “My mother was teaching me before—” He gestures to this, and I see anger blossom on his young face.
“How did this happen?” I question.
“They just showed up one day,” the boy answers. “And they promised that my parents would be rich. That we could buy whatever we wanted. So we let them put up their buildings.” He points to the house at the end of the street. “That was mine,” he says, pressing his hand to his chest. “It’s the only home they left standing.”
Fury sings through my veins. “They destroyed your homes?”
He nods. “Tore them down to put up these.” He gestures to the metal buildings lining the street. “I hear you are a SEAL. Is that true?”
“I was.”
“Are you here to save us?”
The weight of that question settles on my shoulders, so I squat down, putting myself just below eye level of the boy. “I’m going to do my best.”
The boy nods, then looks back as the little girl curls against his side. “This is my sister, Zela.”
“Hi, Zela. You know, I have a niece about your age,” I tell her.
She smiles.
“She doesn’t speak any English,” the boy says, then translates. The little girl’s smile widens and she asks a question. “She wants to know what her name is.”
“Eloise,” I reply. Just speaking her name makes that pain return. What is she doing right now? Is she wondering where I am? Why I left? “I miss her very much.”
The little boy plants his hand on my shoulder. “You will see her again,” he says. “I believe that.”
I can’t help but smile. “Thank you for that.” He nods, and I stand. “What is your name?” I question, realizing he introduced his sister, but not himself.
“Neo,” he replies.
I offer my hand. “It’s good to meet you, Neo.”
“You, too, SEAL.”
“Silas,” I reply.
“Silas,” the boy repeats, then tilts his head to the side and studies me. “I think I want to still call you SEAL.”
I laugh. “Go for it, kid.”
Another boy in the back leans forward and whispers something to Neo. He listens intently, then nods and returns his attention to me. “My friend has a question.”
“Okay. Go for it.”
“We were at the funeral last night, and he wants to know what that woman was talking about.”
My stomach twists because I have a feeling I know what he’s getting at. “What do you mean?”
“She spoke of Lord and joining Him in His kingdom. What does that mean?”
I start to turn toward the building to grab Bianca. After all, she’s much more qualified to answer this than I am, but seeing the hope on their faces, the interest, I can’t bring myself to step away. Who am I to squash the seed of faith Bianca helped plant?
So even though I have no idea if what I will say is accurate, I kneel. “She was talking about God,” I tell him. “The Bible tells us that God sent His Son to die on the cross so that we might find eternal life with Him.”
“He sent His Son to die? Why?”
“Because people are wicked,” I tell him, gesturing to the street around us. “They do wicked things like lie, cheat, steal?—”
“Kill?” Neo asks.
I swallow hard. “That too. But if we ask for forgiveness, believing that our only way into heaven is through the death and sacrifice of Jesus Christ, and we work really hard to try and follow His way and get to know Him, then we can join Him in His kingdom someday.”
Neo beams. “A kingdom?”
I nod. “Bianca knows more about it than I do, but that sounds pretty nice, doesn’t it?”
“It does!” he exclaims, then turns to translate to the others.
The children’s faces completely light up, their expressions turning brilliant. They all begin talking at once and Neo laughs, then turns back to me.
“They are quite excited about it.”
“I can see that.”
“Do you know if she will read us more? We want to know more about Jesus,” he says. “We want to hear more.”
“I’m sure she will,” I reply, standing once more. Warmth spreads through my chest, happiness at the smiles I put on their faces by not turning away. So much hope, so much joy… Why can’t I find that for myself in the word of God? Why can’t I put aside my pain to push forward?
Commotion near the pit draws my attention, and the kids turn and sprint down the street, with Neo lifting his little sister and carrying her off and out of view.
I shift my gaze toward the pit, watching as a man climbs out.
The guard raises his weapon toward the man, and I sprint forward, dread coiling in my stomach.
“Get back in the pit!” the guard orders. “I will shoot!”
I pump my arms faster, running as quickly as I can. “Stop!” I yell. “He doesn’t understand you!”
Though I can’t imagine that’s entirely true—having a gun pointed at you is a universal language most understand. The ferocity in the man’s eyes, the fury reflected in them is also a universal language.
He doesn’t care if he lives or dies.
But I do.
All of these people need to live so they can enjoy peace again. I slam into the man, taking him to the ground. Pain shoots through my gut, but I ignore it as the man squirms, trying to break free. “Stop!” I yell. “You’re going to get yourself killed!” When he doesn’t stop moving or yelling, I call out, “Translator!”
The same man who’d translated in the pit yesterday rushes forward.
My vision wavers. Did I hit my head?
Suddenly, the world begins to spin, and I fall back, breathing ragged. I suck in a breath, but the air doesn’t come. The man’s face swims into view above me. He’s talking fast, too fast for me to understand.
I look down at my gut and see that the man I tackled was not unarmed. Something I should have noticed well before taking him to the ground.
A rusty knife sticks out of my chest. The guard reaches down and rips it free, glaring at the man who’d stabbed me. A man who is staring down at me with horror in his gaze.
The translator presses his hands to my chest and yells an order, but I can’t tell if anyone moves. All I can feel is the blood pouring out of my chest, and the world around me growing dark. Is this how I die?
Cool fingers grip me, pulling me under, and I’m surrounded by darkness.
Screaming.
Tormented voices.
Shadows fill my vision. They cling to me like ink, but I’m too weak to move, so I just lay there as they cover me.
Please, no. I try to speak, but nothing comes out. Please don’t let me leave Bianca. She needs me. The people there need me.
But the shadows don’t respond, even when I open my mouth to try and scream.
Then— “You belong to Me.” The Powerful proclamation echoes through my mind at the same time a bright light pierces the dark, and the shadows retreat, racing away from me as the light fully encompasses everything around me. Then there’s nothing—just light.
And an overwhelming sense of peace.