Chapter 43
43
DONNIE
“How much do you know about Shiloh’s or Toby’s pasts?” he asks me as he lights up a smoke as soon as we are out back.
“Nothing really. Just that Shy has that restraining order,” I tell him as I try to stay upwind. “I thought you quit?”
Matt huffs his annoyance at my question. “Try living with Eric and not having something that gives you a reason to step away occasionally. My tolerance for his antics is endless, but I have to step away from people who don’t understand him or give him weird looks. If the options are take a smoke break or knock a motherfucker out and lose my job? I’ll risk the cancer.”
“Bet your mom loves that.”
Matt blows his smoke directly in my face, making me hack and gag… reminding me that I still haven’t washed away the taste of vomit from my mouth.
“Ma doesn’t know, nor will she. But back to the matter at hand. You need to know their stories to avoid situations like tonight.”
Matt finishes his smoke and pulls out some mints. I gladly take one when he offers. I figure we are going to head back in, but instead he just sits down on the bench like we’ll be waiting here for them to come out.
"Long story short is both of those boys have intimacy and self esteem issues out the wazoo in addition to sporting an overly inflated martyr complex. You always have to look below the surface with those two. They could wreck the Titanic a hundred times over with the shit they keep buried, and keep in mind I’ve known them less than a year.
“Even my boy won’t tell me details of their stories. But what I know is Toby was sent to a conversion camp by his mother when he came out to her, and Shiloh watched his mother die in front of him when he was seven years old. The man he was sent to live with after is the same one he has the restraining order against now. That’s all I know.”
My mind is short circuiting on the information my friend just gave me in such a nonchalant manner.
Toby, sweet playful energetic Toby, was sent to a conversion camp?
Shiloh watched his mother…
“I think I’m gonna be sick again,” I mutter as I lean against the wall of the building.
Matt’s warm hand lands in the middle of my upper back, offering me a small bit of comfort.
“You can’t fall apart on them, for them. They’re two incredibly strong men who neither need nor want pity. They just want someone to be there, to be theirs. They don’t need your strength or for you to fight their demons. They just need you.”
Matt pulls me upright and turns me to face him. “You need to be willing to let them inside that head of yours and let them help you through your issues with my boy.”
I pull out of his arms forcefully and almost land on my ass for my trouble.
“I don’t have a problem with Eric. He’s one of my best friends.”
Matt shakes his head and sits back on the bench.
“One of your only friends, you mean. You’ve been punishing yourself for almost six years now, Don. You didn’t fail him. You were almost killed trying to stop them.”
“Yeah well maybe they should have just finished me off that night,” I spit at him before my brain registers that the backdoor is open and the guys from Kink Manor are filing out, including Toby and Shiloh.
Fuck.