Chapter 69
69
TOBY
I’ve been numb for weeks. As bad as my womb shooter hurt me, it was my father that made me like this. Deep down, I never expected Moira Grady to change her tune. But I had already let my father back into my heart, and he trampled it. It doesn’t matter that it was unintentional. It doesn’t matter that he apologized after the fact.
He broke my trust. He broke my fucking heart.
Parents are supposed to love and protect their children. If someone who is supposed to be biologically conditioned to love me can’t manage to do it, how the fuck am I supposed to believe that I can trust my heart to these men?
Shy would never hurt you like that. Owner stood up for Eric when he didn’t even know him and had everything to lose. Neither of them would put you through what they did.
Shut up, stupid inner voice!
Logically, I know I can trust them. I know I can trust the guys at the manor. But my heart doesn’t trust my brain right now. My heart is still stuck being the little boy who wants his mommy and daddy to love him. That little boy has been disappointed since his Me-maw died and left him alone in that family.
I can’t keep doing this.
The people who gave me life don’t have any more say in what I do with it. The only people who matter are the ones who have stuck beside me for the last three years — or three months in Owner’s case.
The fact remains that he’s been here and has fought for me even when he had zero clue who I was.
The knob for the shower doesn’t squeak for once when I turn it off, and I have to smile at that. Sid told me a trick for fiddling with the way I turn it to stop the squeal. I didn’t think it would work. Apparently, he had a lot of reasons to get very handy over the years as the oldest of five with two working parents.
Wiping the steam off the mirror, I am shocked by my appearance. I’ve been avoiding looking at myself since my graduation. I’ve been avoiding a lot.
Running my hand over the scruff on my cheek, I realize I look like absolute shit. A beard is most definitely not in my future, but the smile feels like it’s the start of something new. I’m determined to make it work with the men I love.
Tonight is our fresh start.
It doesn’t take them long to join me in the bedroom after I finished having my epiphany. I can’t stop the smirk from showing on my face at the looks on their face. The fact that I’m laying naked in the middle of our bed is apparently a bit of a surprise for them.
I’m done hiding behind the fear. I’m going to be brave and fight for what I want, for those I love.
“It’s good to see you smile, Pup,” Owner rumbles as he pulls off his shirt and climbs onto bed next to me. “How do we make it stick around?”
I feel Shiloh press against my back while I stare into our owner’s eyes. The pain in them is something I need to remedy. I put that there.
SHE put that there.
Okay, inner voice is kinda smart tonight…
“Just love me,” I tell him and lean forward to press my lips to his. Shiloh’s arms wrap around me from behind and I hand the bottle of lube to my owner. “Show me how much you love me tonight. I need my Owner. Own me. Both of you.”
I hold my breath until I feel a hand wrap around my cock and slowly start to stroke it. Looking down, I love to see the contrast of Shiloh’s dark to my light as my cock disappears into his fist over and over again.
“I will love you forever if you let me,” Don whispers, brushing his fingers through my damp hair. I tear my eyes away from Shiloh’s hand on my dick to look at the man who owns me heart and soul. Well, the pieces that Shiloh hadn’t already claimed at least.
“I love you, too” I gasp out as Shiloh squeezes a bit tighter and pulls his hand away. “I love both of you so much and I’m sorry I struggled to show it the last few weeks. ”
Before I can turn around to look at my best friend when he pulls back, Owner grabs my chin and forces me to look at him instead. The snick of a bottle cap registers too late for my brain to realize what is happening. By the time it catches up, Shiloh is already pressing against my asshole.
“It’s going to be tight, but I don’t have the patience to do prep tonight, Tobe. I love you too much to hurt you, but I need you too much to wait. Tell me you’re okay with this, pup.”
I can’t bring myself to say the words, but Don seems to understand. He sees it in my eyes what I can’t make my mouth say and nods to our lover to continue. He reaches down to resume stroking me slowly to help ease the burn of Shiloh’s entering me.
Time stretches on for what seems like forever as Shy slowly pushes inside while our owner lazily strokes me off.
It burns.
It hurts.
Donnie’s eyes never leave my face, tracking every flicker of emotion that races across my features.
It feels amazing and wonderful and torturous all at the same time. My body can’t decide if it wants to stop or never surrender. I want to freeze like a statue and thrash like a wild beast. It’s amazing and terrifying and I can’t stop the tears from falling.
“Let it go, Toby. You can let go. We’ll always catch you.”
Owner’s words are the final push I need and my orgasm crashes over me. I taste blood in the back of my throat from the force of my howl, but I let it all drift away on the bliss I feel seeing the men I love smiling down at me.
I don’t want to close my eyes, but eventually exhaustion wins out.