Chapter Thirteen
Iris
The sun feels amazing against my skin as I lean over the balcony that overlooks the city below.
The rays aren’t harsh, and the breeze that accompanies it makes for perfect weather.
The Leviathan below move about their days blissfully, their problems more than likely centering around their individual lives, seeing as they have someone like Remus taking care of their society.
I can see why he cares for it so deeply.
In his eyes, it is what he was created to do.
It is the only thing he was ever destined for.
He said something similar to me on Earth when we played that humiliating game.
But I was shocked at the history of his mother and the revelation of his birth that it went over my head as a phrase, not his actual thoughts on his life.
And now that he has revealed it to me again and in such a casual way, along with everything else, it makes me feel more cautious of him than ever.
It was easier to understand Remus when his goal was to take over Earth.
But now, as he reveals more of his personality and his role within his own society, I understand less about him.
I shift my attention from the city below to the sky.
Although it’s daytime, the gas giant Llora is still visible.
I release a deep breath as I stare at it.
I am completely out of my depth here. Remus has changed significantly from the being he was on Earth, and not just in his kind gestures.
It’s making me lose my sense of purpose that I had before coming here.
My resentment has been replaced with curiosity, and being surrounded by this world makes me mourn for more than just my planet’s demise—it makes me mourn for what it had become prior to the invasion.
I hate how just being here forces me to see what Remus saw, especially when my last moments were accompanied by betrayal from the people I had sacrificed for.
“I didn’t think I’d see you in one piece after Iriel discovered your marking.”
I turn away from the view at the sound of a familiar voice, excitement washing over me when I see Sky coming towards me with a soft grin.
I suddenly understand what Noah meant by seeing a human face again.
It’s only been a few weeks since we left Earth, yet I feel a heavy sense of relief wash over me as she approaches.
My body knows she is like me. And that she is not a threat.
“Sky,” I smile as I pull her into a tight embrace.
She looks much different than she did in the resistance. Her hair is hydrated, her skin warm with a healthy glow and she’s filled out since I saw her last. Ezra has obviously done the same things Remus did in our first days together, washing away any reminder of the world in which she once existed.
As I pull away, I notice she still has an inhibitor latched to her temple. She notices the direction of my gaze, laughing as she pulls her curls from behind her ear to cover the reminder of our roles in all of this.
“I haven’t quite reached the level of trust you and Remus have,” she says.
She shifts her attention past me to the city as she leans against the railing.
“Still, it’s nice to be free,” she says.
I study her quietly as she stares at Llora, trying to compose herself.
I know she is feeling much worse than I am right now.
I grew up in the blight, where I had to fight against my own kind just for survival.
My only sense of community was the group we formed to protect ourselves from our own.
Sky had a real sense of community and what she thought was hope.
And just judging from his personality, I’m sure Ezra has made acclimating difficult.
“How are you adjusting?” I ask.
She scoffs, looking away from the planet to me. I note that she has the same smile she always held in the resistance, masking her pain. And it’s so effortless and beautiful that if I didn’t have an idea of what she’s been through, I’d buy into it.
“Well, now that my body has adjusted to the slightly heavier atmosphere and the air that is too clean, I feel as good as I can…as good as he’ll allow,” she says.
Her facade breaks slightly as we look at one another.
I’ve only ever seen a playful side of Ezra.
But if his slight toward Noah the other night is any indication of his mood shifts, I can’t imagine what Sky is going through.
Remus has always been transparent with not only what he is but what he expects.
Ezra, however, enjoys watching your false reality crumble around you.
He enjoys taunting his victims, as he demonstrates every time he speaks to me.
“How did you survive?” I ask as I think of her words to me the last time we spoke. She told me she kept a cyanide capsule on her just in case things went south. But here she is, alive and at Ezra’s mercy. Since Ezra refused to tell me at the celebration, it’s been weighing on my mind.
“How do you think?” she asks.
She flips her hair slightly to reveal the inhibitor, her eyes narrowing in irritation.
“My body is no longer my own with him around,” she murmurs. Before I can respond, she speaks again, quashing any further questions as she looks at the city surrounding us.
“Who would have thought this kind of thing even existed?” she says bitterly. “It makes our problems seem miniscule, huh? Fighting amongst ourselves when there was so much out there to be discovered…when there was so much more than us,” she says.
She’s speaking in riddles. However, with the presence of the inhibitor on her temple, I can only imagine what she’s been through.
This might be her first interaction of her own free will.
I remember what it was like to be awakened from an inhibitor after such a long time.
I was disoriented and struggled to remember simple things like conversation.
It was even a task to feel my own emotions again.
But I at least had something to distract me.
She has nothing. Not even the hope that I felt, having discovered the resistance.
“For what it’s worth, you were right,” I say.
Sky turns to look at me, her warm eyes holding shock.
“Iriel…Cypress…they were corrupt. They were never planning on helping anyone outside of that mountainside,” I say.
Sky scoffs, shaking her head. She moves past me to the bench, leaning back to feel the sun on her face as she speaks.
“It isn’t worth anything being right, Iris.
It only makes our reality all the more fucked,” she says.
“Iriel should die for everything he did. But he’s up there with aliens who wiped out a mountainside in minutes while killing anyone who opposed them, getting his fair shake from Leviathan, who weren’t even there,” she says bitterly.
Silence drifts between us, and she opens her eyes to look at me.
“And your brother? What became of him?” she asks.
Now, it’s my turn to look away. Anger blooms in my chest, revealing to me my own feelings against my brother. I am still resentful, just as Remus pointed out the other night.
“Nothing until I decide,” I say.
“Ezra was right. He adores you,” she says, pulling my attention.
“What?” I ask.
“Remus. The cold, unfeeling ruler has a soft spot,” she says.
I bite my tongue against the urge to tell her that Ezra is the same.
I’m sure where she is right now, she doesn’t see it that way.
Her eyes shift to the collar of my shirt, and I know she is looking at the symbol Remus and I share.
She stands, closing the distance between us to pull my top slightly to the side, revealing more of the symbol.
“From the moment you walked into the resistance, we were screwed. Even Ezra knew but kept it from me. You were right about him…about them,” she says gently.
“We were both right in the end,” she says, releasing my shirt.
Her eyes fill with unshed tears as she watches me, and I suddenly realize she is fighting against the inhibitor.
Anger rips through me as I take in her state.
She’s here, but not with her own free will.
She isn’t able to fully communicate how she wants.
My mind shifts to my thoughts earlier, and I feel disgust at myself for becoming so enraptured in Remus’s affection and kind gestures that I momentarily forget what we’ve been through to get here.
Sky laughs, pulling me from my thoughts as she shifts her attention to the building Remus and the others are in, planning for Iriel’s trial.
“Don’t feel sad for me, Iris. I should be up there alongside Iriel for the things I did to one of their precious rulers…
as should you. But that wouldn’t sit well with our captors, and so, we must endure this hell as a result.
This won’t last forever, eventually our mortality will catch up to us,” she says bitterly.
I smile at her words. I find comfort in them, I realize.
I’ve told Remus before that my life is fleeting compared to his.
Especially now that I know he doesn’t even recall his childhood.
I can’t imagine how he’ll feel once I’m gone or how the bond will affect him.
But if the way he feels about lacking a childhood or direction in life is any indicator, he’ll move on quickly and eventually forget I ever existed.