Chapter Twenty-Three
Iris
As I jolt awake, a scream tears from my lips. My hands fly to my body, making sure I am still me and I am still intact. As my fingers find my face, a pair of hands roughly grips me, holding them firm as I’m met with a set of peculiar eyes. One purple, one blue.
Ezra is watching me with deep concern, his brow furrowed.
“Breathe, Iris.” His tone is extremely gentle, as if he is speaking to a three-year-old. I know immediately from his uncharacteristic mannerisms and touch that something is wrong. Seconds after I acknowledge the possibility, I am suddenly aware of my body’s state.
I feel…empty.
My muscles are sore, and my chest has a heavy ache that makes my heart twist each time I breathe.
Something is missing. The more I breathe, the heavier the ache, and it somehow elicits tears that I try and fail miserably to blink back.
I only blink them from my eyes, forcing them to roll down my cheeks as I take in my surroundings, my gaze shifting past Ezra to the living room.
I’m still in his home.
The warm beige tones that stretch to the furniture calms me somewhat, as does the sound of the ocean that sits beyond the glass. I take it all in with desperation as I try to force my body to calm down, though from what, I don’t exactly know.
I shift my attention back to Ezra who is watching me cautiously, shaking my head in confusion.
“What—” I break into a coughing fit from the soreness of my throat. I must have been screaming for hours before I even woke up.
Ezra looks away from me, calling to Sky.
“Bring her some water,” he says.
Still, his tone is gentle. Even his touch is gentle as he helps me to a sitting position on the couch, just in time for Sky to bring me a glass of water.
Her expression is cautious as she hands the glass to me.
She was there to witness what happened on the patio before the world went dark.
As the memories assault me, I quickly bring the water to my lips, hoping it will calm me down before I have to face reality.
It’s soothing, cooling the fire burning in my throat.
Ezra takes it from me when I finish, handing it off to Sky, asking her to bring me more.
I’m trembling as I relive everything that happened, including the visions I had before I passed out.
The woman reaching for me, killing me with her touch alone…
I know it was their mother. I recognize her from the portrait at the celebration.
But as I remember it, I can’t distinguish if it was something I was actually experiencing, or Remus was seeing.
It felt so real.
“What happened?” I ask.
My voice is still hoarse, and Ezra purses his lips as his expression grows even more troubled.
“I was hoping you could tell me,” he says.
I look away, pressing my hand to my forehead as I try to staunch the throbbing headache that assaults me. Each time I close my eyes, I see her so clearly. I feel what it’s like to have my life force drained. I feel Remus’s fear.
“I think…Remus is in trouble,” I say, looking at Ezra.
Ezra’s expression doesn’t change, but I know he’s attempting patience as I share my concerns with him.
“That’s impossible,” he says.
I shake my head.
“Everything that just happened, what I just felt wasn’t me. It was Remus’s emotions. I felt his panic. He was scared. He felt like everything was a lie. He felt betrayed,” I say.
My voice is trembling as I think of the raw emotions that bombarded me.
Remus and I have barely used the bond. And when we did, the intense emotions that I felt at that moment were nowhere to be found.
I only ever felt his desire for me, his obsession to be by my side.
But never fear—never from him and never directed toward anyone else.
Ezra stands, turning his back to me as he thinks.
“I don’t doubt that you felt something, but it couldn’t have been Remus,” Ezra pauses as he considers telling me what his brother must have told him not to reveal to me. “Remus is safe. He went to see our mother—”
“‘She’s taking it from me’,” I say.
Ezra turns to face me. I know he remembers me saying it as well.
“Those weren’t my words,” I say, remembering how it felt to speak words that do not belong to me.
It was terrifying, having something forced from my lips with no control over it.
But what’s even more terrifying are the emotions that came with it.
It only makes sense that Remus was sending a warning.
A warning that involved his mother.
“He was referring to her. Your mother is the one who is hurting him,” I say.
Ezra narrows his gaze, taking a threatening step forward. Sky hesitantly reaches for him as she stands behind us with a cautious expression but decides against it.
“Be careful, Iris,” he says.
I ignore the chill rippling up my spine as I stand up to Ezra.
I know what I felt. And I know what I saw.
I also know that Remus never spoke of his mother positively.
Or rather, he never spoke as if he had a relationship with her.
Ezra may be close to his mother for some reason, but Remus is not.
His mother quite literally raised him to be a weapon with no personal desires of his own.
“I know what I saw,” I say.
I meet Ezra’s gaze. “I know what I felt.”
Sky quietly stands behind Ezra, her gaze shifting between us as we speak.
But I notice that her eyes linger on me for a moment before widening.
An audible gasp escapes her lips when she notices something.
She slowly moves across the room, and Ezra watches her as she does but doesn’t stop her as she kneels next to me on the couch.
Her fingers are shaking as they reach for the strap on my dress. She then looks back to Ezra.
“It’s fading,” she whispers.
Ezra’s irritation disappears almost instantly as his eyes follow her fingers to the place where Remus’s symbol was always visible. As I lower my gaze, looking for myself, I have to fight the nausea that hits me.
The symbol that adorned my skin is faint. It pulses, but with each pulse its visibility lessens, like a flickering flame that is going out.
That must be why I feel so empty…so cold and alone. It’s that I can’t feel Remus. I press my fingers over my bare skin, unable to catch my breath.
“‘She’s taking it from me,’” I whisper, looking back at Ezra as the words begin to make more sense.
He shakes his head, pushing his hair away from his face as he moves, pacing.
“This isn’t fucking happening. How is that possible?” he murmurs to himself.
“What did you mean by ‘you saw?’” he asks, referring to my words earlier.
I slowly wrap my arms around myself, unable to hold his gaze. Even though his eyes are much different than his mother’s and Remus’s, just looking into them—seeing the purple, makes me think of her.
“It was her. Your mother. She was…killing me, but something saved me—kept her away. It had to have been Remus,” I say as I think of the other words that fell from my lips.
“Stop her. Protect her.”
I place my hand over my bare skin as the symbol flickers out, leaving me empty. I look at Ezra.
“Could he have embedded it?” I ask.
Ezra’s expression turns grim as he approaches, kneeling next to Sky.
“I don’t sense it,” he says.
I once again stuff down my nausea as I speak.
“Is he—is Remus…” I trail off, unable to finish my sentence. It doesn’t seem possible. Not even for him. His own mother couldn’t do something like that.
“No, stupid girl, of course not,” Ezra says a little too hastily for my comfort.
Silence settles over us as we try to piece together the situation.
Obviously, Ezra is as in the dark as I am.
And even though he’s trying to hide it, he’s nervous as well about what this could mean.
It doesn’t make sense as to why Remus would feel these emotions and why I would see his mother in a vision like that.
Then, upon waking up, having the bond stripped from me.
I flinch, clutching my chest as pain washes over me. My arms and legs feel so brittle as if they are about to snap just from sitting here. I feel weak, mentally and physically. I feel Ezra’s hands on me, the warmth of his attempt to heal me settling in my bones.
“Do you know why you said, ‘protect her?’” he asks.
I shake my head, choking on a sob as the possibilities become endless.
“What if…what if she…,” I trail off, unable to finish my sentence as my tears come faster. I want to blame it on having the bond ripped from me, these intense emotions, but I can’t. I feel a heavy sense of dread at the possibility that Remus is gone so suddenly.
“Why would she do this?” I whisper.
Ezra doesn’t respond, and the silence between us only makes the situation even more bleak as we try to understand what this could mean or what we should do from here. Finally, Ezra releases a deep breath, standing.
“I’ll call Xion. She’ll know what to do.”
As the day passes, the emptiness that I feel grows to an unbearable height.
The night sky, which I usually adore, has Llora in its atmosphere.
And since the sun is no longer out, the reflection in the calm waters is as clear as it is in the sky.
But I can’t bring myself to enjoy the view—not when everything is so uncertain.
I hastily wipe another tear as I stare into the cup of tea given to me.
I never expected to feel like this. Especially when so much of my time with Remus was filled with anger directed at him.
But since he’s been gone, and since we made a pact that we would be better upon his return, I’ve had the time to think of all the things he’s done since we landed on Xyrannis, including helping curb my homesickness with entire rooms dedicated to my home planet.