Chapter Thirty-Six #2
In their desperation, they have both gone to seek out their brother to understand what’s going on. I know he won’t tell them. They probably won’t even find him. Remus trusts no one, including me. He made that very clear during our last meeting.
I feel helpless. Now that the rings have been destroyed, the gnawing fear of their mother retuning to finish the job now that her rings have been destroyed eats away at me.
Unfortunately, fear of the unknown outweighs that.
Whatever trap Remus has set is now in play.
And we’re all nothing more than pieces he’s using to complete his puzzle.
He said so himself.
I pull in a deep breath, bringing my knees to my chest as I sit atop the bed, staring at the sky.
As much as I would prefer to remain at Ezra’s home, with the rings gone and his siblings having no way of knowing where or when their mother will return, they figure the safest place for me remains at Xion’s.
But I no longer feel welcome or safe here.
I don’t feel safe anywhere. I took that for granted when Remus was himself.
I drop my head to my knees, pulling in shuddering breath as tears form.
I hate being in the dark on his plans. I don’t know what his endgame is in all of this, and that terrifies me.
In his mind, does this end with him coming back to me?
Or is this all a plot to get revenge on the person who tampered with his mind? My life is in limbo.
I suddenly feel a warm touch against my ear, drifting into my hair to brush over the hairpin that holds it in place.
I look up just in time to see Remus pulling away with it in his grip.
His purple gaze glitters in the dim lighting, as calm as I’ve ever seen it as he studies me, his expression blank.
My chest burns, and I force myself to breathe in as he moves around me. I quickly look to the door, but it’s closed. As is the door to the balcony. He must have transported himself in here. His eyes remain on the hairpin.
“If you want the real truth, you have to get rid of the rings that surround this planet. Those were your words to me that night,” Remus says.
His tone is chilling. He’s angry.
“I’ve done as you said, and I still have no idea who you are…or why you flit around in my memories,” he says.
My stomach twists, and my chest suddenly feels tight as I find the strength to argue with the Celestivine who despises me, especially now. But I know that if I tell him the truth, if he goes and seeks out his mother, this is all over.
For me, at least.
She’ll know I’m alive. And she’ll know Remus’s mind isn’t as wiped as she wanted. He’ll have no reason to protect me, especially since he’s angry with me for manipulating him. She’ll make sure she kills me this time, and above all, Peace will be restored between her and her children.
“It was just a theory. The rings do something to all of you. Maybe it takes longer than a few hours for the effects to wear off,” I say, hoping to buy myself some grace.
Remus laughs, his grip closing around the hairpin.
“A theory?” he asks.
I shrink away as he comes to stand over me on the bed.
I know he can hear my heart thrumming wildly against my chest. He intensifies his intimidation by placing his hands on either side of my legs, leaning in toward my face, and I immediately notice the blue flecks within his eyes slowly pulsing with his irritation.
“I have put everyone on this planet at risk to test your theory,” he says.
“At risk from what?” I ask.
His gaze narrows, and I can see him fighting his natural instinct to do something awful to me for speaking to him and asking about this world when it isn’t my place.
He suddenly stands tall, turning away from me.
“What do you think will happen if you tell me why everything is so convoluted?” he asks.
“I will be hunted down and killed. And you won’t even remember to mourn me,” I whisper.
Remus keeps his back to me, his face tilting toward the sky outside my window. His hair is held in a low ponytail, falling down his back as he thinks to himself.
“By who?” he asks.
He looks away from the window, his amethyst gaze falling on me. “Who will hunt you down?”
I pull in a trembling breath, my fingers grasping for my locket. Remus’s eyes follow the motion before shifting back to my face. I see no patience in his expression. This is just a conversation to get the answers he seeks.
“Your mother,” I say. I finally speak the truth.
Remus narrows his gaze seconds before I feel a heavy pressure settling around me. It isn’t uncomfortable yet, but the threat is there. It lingers between us, making me shiver as I sit on the brink of death from the alien that once told me he loved me.
“The words that come from your lips make me want to rip the life from your lungs. And yet you speak them with such absolution. Have you been trained for this? Did someone send you here to fuck with me? To get me to let my guard down?” he seethes.
His tone alone makes me tremble as silent tears spill down my cheeks, over my quivering lips. Remus holds my life in his hands, and as he glares at me with hatred, I suddenly see the slight tremble of his pupil, and it all suddenly makes sense to me.
“You’re scared,” I say. “You feel betrayed…”
He doesn’t move. If anything, he doesn’t even look like he’s breathing.
My chest aches as I take him in, standing before me in a way I’ve never seen him.
Even though I don’t know what it is he’s experiencing in his mind, I know that he is desperate for answers as his mother’s work slips through the cracks.
Whatever memories he has of me must be enough for him to follow what I say.
..but not enough to believe me entirely.
“I’m telling the truth, Remus. You left to see her, and you never came back. I felt your anger and your betrayal—agh!” The pressure around me grows unbearable, and my body feels like it’s being crushed.
Remus holds me right on the edge as he moves closer to me, the black of his pupil dilating so much that I can no longer see the purple as he glares at me.
“Why do you lie with such ease?” he hisses.
“I am not lying!” I ground out. “I know you, Remus. I know that you don’t need food to survive, but you still like shaved ice in a small town called Mallora.
I know that you like to live among your people in disguise.
I know that you like to read, and that you enjoy Ifasy.
I know that you have ice imported and I know that you would split a mountain for me and kill Iriel without a trial if I asked because of what he did to me.
And I know that you loved me in your own way, enough to make a room for me in your home with everything I’ve ever held close in my life. ”
The pressure around me slowly dissolves as Remus’s expression grows more flustered.
“I’m sorry I took you for granted. You’ve saved my life on so many occasions, protecting me from my own people and I still hated you for it. I was so angry about the loss of my world, I didn’t take the time to understand who you are and where you were coming from in all of this,” I sob.
I slowly sit up as the pressure disappears, reaching for Remus, and he lets me, his expression still unreadable.
“But I understand now, and this—who you are at this moment, isn’t you.
Your mother has taken that from you—from us.
And if she knew you were asking these questions, or that I was still alive, there’s no telling what she would do to retaliate—Ah! ”
My body is suddenly thrown across the room by an invisible force, and I crash into the wall. Pain ripples up my spine, as I collide with the wall, collapsing in a heap as I fight to breathe. I barely am able to take in the sound of Remus’s slow approach until he is standing over me.
Blood drains from my face from the heavy pressure that fills the room as his hair shifts slightly around him.
I’m still gasping for breath as he kneels in front of me, and a prickling sensation settles over me.
It takes a moment for me to realize it’s the blood beneath my skin pulling against my veins as Remus threatens me.
“Speak to me like this ever again, and I will kill you.” I fight the urge to vomit as fear cuts through me.
He glares down at me without recognition, and certainly without patience, his anger suffocating. Suddenly, his presence disappears from the room and I sag in relief, flinching as the pain continues to radiate over every inch of my body.
I lift my head just enough to see the rings slowly forming. They look like slow waves that will eventually connect, and I can do nothing but watch as my last bit of hope is ripped away.
The pain finally becomes too much, and I black out.