12. Lenna
12
Lenna
L enna was as eager to win the next round of hand-to-hand combat against Theon as she had ever been. But right now, she was miserably spread on the floor and Theon was standing on top of her with a sideways I-told-you smile and an eyebrow raised.
Indeed, Lenna should have expected the technique that Theon had expertly done to send her to the mat by quickly sweeping his foot under her leg and making her lose her balance.
“Don’t even start, you evil being,” said Lenna, accepting the extended hand Theon was offering to help her stand up.
As Lenna recovered her position in front of him., a bite on his bottom lip was all Theon did to pretend to avoid a smile. “You know perfectly well why that happened.”
“Yes, thank you very much.” She knew she had lost sight of his legs for a moment, and one of Theon’s favorite tips was the dear-oh-so-useful-peripheral-vision. He said that any proper warrior, or at least the ones that liked to remain alive after a battle, must be able to see movements, objects, people, and changes outside of their direct line of sight. Whatever.
“Let’s go again, human Lenna. Actually…” he said. Oh, no. Lenna knew too well what the spark in his eyes meant. Some supposedly clever idea that meant Fifth hell for her. Lenna raised her hands to her red ponytail, bracing herself for whatever illuminated moment Theon had.
“Since this is the last training session we have before you become a mystic power badass panom,” he said and Lenna thought she could feel the roll of her eyes touching her brain. Theon continued with a grin, “We won’t finish until you send me to the floor.”
Ta-fucking-dah. That was his brilliant idea? She had never won a combat against him. Not with their bare hands like they were practicing today, not with any other weapons they had practiced over the past two years.
Lenna crossed her arms. “Do you want me to be late to the Fifth Ceremony tomorrow or what?”
Theon laughed. “Come on, you’re not that bad. I taught you some good stuff.”
“Says the one that has not even so much as allowed me to tie with him,” Lenna said, already dreading how tiring it was going to be to even pretend she had a chance against her heavily muscled and strong trainer. “Ever,” she clarified.
“Less moaning, more fighting.” Theon closed his fists in front of him and placed a foot in front of the other while bending his legs.
Lenna adapted her fighting stance and breathed in deeply, preparing herself to attack and defend and whatever she needed to do to finish this as quickly as possible. Theon looked at her in the eyes as he said “Fight!”, letting the match begin.
She didn’t know where to start. She moved in circles around him, fists tight and ready to go, and she took a fast step forward to—
Fuck. A frontal kick from Theon straight to her guts sent her a few steps backwards, and it took her a few seconds to catch her breath. Well, this was going to be as difficult as she had damn expected.
An hour later, Lenna was sweaty. As sweaty as a human being could be, no doubt. And the muscles on her abdomen, her upper arms, her quadriceps ached. They felt like they were on fire, even with the one-minute break Theon was allowing her to have. How fucking generous of him.
“Time’s up. Let’s go,” he said as he closed his metal bottle of water and left it next to the wall.
Lenna needed any strength she could find to push herself and stand up. How was she meant to beat him in this condition? That was an excellent question.
“Any tips to win a fight when I feel like crawling all the way to my bed?” Lenna said, looking to the high ceiling. She felt Theon stay still and looked at him, already regretting her question.
“I didn’t know you were a crawler,” Theon said, lifting his eyebrows with a sideways smile. Lenna couldn’t resist her chuckle. “Tip for when you are tired beyond tiredness? Do not think. Let your body take over your mind. Your body knows the movements, but your mind is not letting it go freely. Empty your mind and… let go of yourself.”
She would be happier to let go of herself in the sweat of his muscled arms and around his powerful neck and shoulders than have another fight. She closed her eyes. Thinking about how his sweaty body would feel underneath her while she crawled on top of him was not helping. Why the fuck was she even thinking about this now? Was that her mind giving up because of the exhaustion? It had to be. She groaned.
Theon heard her. “Less moaning, more—“
“Fighting, yes.” Cardinals give her patience. And focus.
Theon and Lenna adopted the fighting position facing each other. It was just them in the room. In the world. Her golden eyes connected with his brown eyes. She was ready to let go of her mind. Knowing Theon, she trusted him not to inflict more harm on her than she could bear. She was used to the bruises on her forearms after hand-to-hand fighting against him. It was part of her body’s preparation. But she knew he would not allow any serious harm on her. And as he shouted “Fight!”, Lenna stopped thinking.
Lenna felt her body move by itself, as if she was watching someone else fighting. Someone else blocking strikes to her chin and stomach at a speedy pace. Someone else counterattacking with her elbows and the side of her hands, most of them masterly blocked by him.
Theon gripped her wrist and tried to send her to the floor by twisting it upwards, making her whole body move with it. Lenna swiftly positioned her wrist sideways inside his grip and moved out with a fast and strong movement. As she took one step backwards, she lifted her front leg and kicked him in the jaw.
Theon opened his eyes wide, a rough redness already appearing in his jaw. Lenna was equally surprised that she had actually touched him before he had time to block it. But that was not enough. She was going to finish this nonsense, never-ending fighting. She allowed herself half a second to let go of her mind and—It was too late.
Theon stood behind her, his chest against her back. He held her hands together behind her with one too-fucking-strong hand, and had the other across her chest, her shoulder pretty much under his armpit. So damn close she could feel his warm, steady breathing in her right ear.
It was like time had slowed down so much it had stopped. Lenna felt some strands of his unexpectedly soft hair over her shoulders. She was suddenly very aware of how comfortable his muscled chest was on her back, how warm it felt, and exactly how many inches taller than her he was as his cheek was almost leaning on her wavy red hair. She felt the strength of his left hand that firmly but carefully held both of her hands together, one on top of the other. And how he was unusually still, as if he was also taking in this moment, breathing it in, absorbing it as much as he could.
When he could have perfectly sent her to the mat already, trapped as he had her. She wanted today’s fighting to be over, and she would not lose her chance.
Being careful to not move any other muscle on her body, Lenna lifted her right foot in the air, bending her knee in front of her. And gathering all the strength she hoped she had, she sent her heel down on Theon’s foot, at the same time as she moved her face to the right and bit the biceps leaning on her shoulder with all her might.
“Fuck!” Theon shouted, letting go of his grip on her hands as he moved his foot, making small jumps backwards.
Lenna used both hands to hold one of Theon’s, and with a quick sweeping movement of her leg under his hurt foot, she sent him down on the mat. Lenna couldn’t keep a cheering shout in.
“About fucking time,” Lenna was grinning as she kneeled next to her friend.
Theon chuckled. “I knew you could beat me. I wasn’t expecting a dog-bite elephant-stomp style from a future panom, but still.” Laying on the floor, Theon offered a hand to Lenna. “A beat is a beat.”
Lenna stared at his hand, her grin still on her face. “Am I meant to shake this? Is this your official loser declaration?”
Theon laughed. “Oh, enjoy this as much as you want. You caught me off-guard. It’s not likely to happen again.”
Lenna was perfectly aware of how off-guard he’d been. She could still feel the warmth of his body behind hers, his breathing on her ear.
She stood up, stretching her arms, technically to release the tension from all the fighting. Technically, it had been draining enough that her body needed rest. Technically, she shouldn’t be thinking about how much she was enjoying seeing Theon spread on the floor underneath her. Every single muscle of him. His eyes closed. His full lips still smiling. Damn, he was handsome.
Theon opened her eyes and found Lenna staring at him. Whatever he saw in her eyes made him stand up, and he was in front of her in less than two seconds. “Session’s over, Lenna. I’ll see you after your panomy conversion.”
Oh, yes, and then there was that . She took an unconscious deep breath.
“Thanks for today. It was draining but fun.”
Theon nodded with a confident smile. “It’s always fun with me, though.” Lenna rolled her eyes and left him standing on the mat as she left the room, smiling too.
Lenna started removing her makeup, patting creamed cotton pads around her cheeks. Her mirror reflection was wearing bright yellow sedan pajama shorts and a top, and a difficult-to-ignore worried frown.
The last day of her human life had gone too fast. Even the tense dinner had gone fast, maybe because her sister and parents had been unusually quiet and not babbling about whatever political nonsense they considered relevant. As if they also had been thinking that their lives were about to change and there would be no going back.
She was both excited and nervous as if she was about to jump from a very high cliff and she didn’t know what she would find at the end, not even if it was “safe”.
It would be as safe as one could be under the presence of the five Rulers of Thyria, her father included. Which, considering that they were the five most powerful people in Terrha, was quite a statement. She guessed the fact of them five unleashing her powers and Ayla’s tomorrow was not freaking her out as much as it should, because she was so eager to become a panom.
Lenna had been waiting for this moment since she could remember. She couldn’t even count the times her mother, who had been an Elite member until she married her father and became a converted panom, had told Lenna that the Fifth Ceremony would mark a before and after in her life. That having unrestricted access to magic was dangerous and beautiful, and how important it was to use it properly.
Lenna looked at her hand, seeing her reflection lifting it too, and opened it slowly, releasing golden sparks and allowing them to float around the wide marble bathroom connected to her bedroom. Over the years playing and experimenting with them, she had somehow gotten attached to them. To their silent but bright and playful company. She looked at the sparks moving around gently, in non-perfect coordination. Lenna sighed and closed her eyes. A tiny spark sat on her shoulder, as if giving her a small cuddle. “Thanks,” Lenna said with a small smile.
Even the well-known sparks were not enough to avoid the guilt punch she felt in her guts at remembering how she had tried to avoid thinking about Raoul. She had been postponing it after the Fifth Ceremony, and the days had gone too damn fast to even squeeze a moment to figure out what to do with her friend. His body being in the West House and his mind Cardinals knew where. She felt the need to explain all of it to Theon. He tended to be matter-of-fact-but-positive, so maybe he wouldn’t think the situation was royally fucked up.
Lenna peeked at the small silver clock incrusted on the wall of her bedroom. Almost ten o’clock. The sky was dark outside and she had to be up by eight to get to the Organ House in time for past meridiem, when the Fifth Ceremony would start. Why the Fifth her parents were not mouring the four of them, which would take less than a few seconds, and instead they had to use traditional methods , was a good question.
Theon would probably be partying in Borealia, as they didn’t have a training session tomorrow, or maybe even enjoying some feminine company at his house. Lenna would have preferred her nostrils not to flare at the thought. It wouldn’t be a good idea to contact him. In fact, it would be selfish.
They were friends. And a disgustingly sexy friend he was, yes. But nothing had ever happened between both, other than laughter, banter, fun and… trust. Maybe it had been him not talking to her as if she was someone superior because she was a panom-to-be, North-House-heir, like many of the Elite people did. Or the other common one was when they pretended to like or admire her, as if that would make her feel content.
Except she couldn't care less about all that bullshit. Exactly the same pretence that her power-obsessed sister loved, and the reason Ayla was extremely sociable and had so many Elite friends. Lenna chuckled at the thought. It would be interesting to see if any of those “friends” would even look at Ayla if she was dumped on a street, but she was not the daughter of a Ruler.
That’s all the Elite really cared about. Their own asses. And their future, of course. Should they get to marry a panom, they would go from being mere human beings with nothing to do other than spend their vast amounts of money, to being panoms with magic powers with nothing to do other than spend their vast amounts of magic and money.
Theon was not like that. He had given her a hard time during the first few months of training sessions, laughing at her any time she complained, which was very often, as her muscles and energy had been below minimums. And he had not seemed impressed when a maid entered the middle of a session with a towel to dry her sweat and a bottle of cold water as a refreshment. Lenna could perfectly remember his are-you-fucking-kidding-me face with a lifted eyebrow that was going to reach his hair when it happened. It had been the first and last time because the embarrassment Lenna had felt had reached a new limit at being treated like a fucking damsel in distress in front of the non-Elite trained warrior that was teaching her.
That was exactly why Ayla had three maids assigned to her. She loved being pampered and having help to get dressed and bathed and whatever the fuck they did together. Lenna had one maid assigned to her, because her parents refused to leave her without service . She sometimes was curious about what Irina, her middle-aged maid, did with her life, because Lenna’s orders had only been to leave her alone, thank you very much.
He'll kill me for this but… fuck it , Lenna thought as she moved her hand in small circles to gather all the exploring sparks. She sent the sparks with a message to Theon:
She hadn’t seen how the sparkly messages looked like when they appeared on his skin, but she hoped they were not too bright or too obvious in case he had some company.
She suddenly realized her message had been way too serious, and she was probably overthinking it, but sent some more golden sparks his way:
And that was it. Inks sent. Silence. This one-way conversation was not even half fun without hearing his laugh or reading whatever sneaky reply he’d come up with.
“House, lights off,” she said out loud. The bright lights on her ceiling left space to small dim lights on different corners of her bedroom.
Lenna made new sparks float around her as she laid on the bed, on top of her bronze-colored duvet with floral details. There was a way to know about Raoul, though. She knew she could get in trouble if the Rulers found out that she had been using her magic before becoming a panom, but she trusted Ciaran to not put her in trouble. Not when he could already have done so when he found Ayla and her in the West House grounds.
Lenna didn’t even know if her message would travel as far as the West House, but it was worth a try. She knew all the emotions and thoughts would not let her sleep much tonight otherwise. If at least she could have answers in one front. She sent the sparks, thinking about Ciaran and hoping he would know the message was from her.
Less than a minute later, her forearm felt a soft tickle, and she sat up with a halt. Dark wet ink appeared on her skin:
And as soon as she finished reading it, it was gone. She touched her left forearm with her index. She had never felt such a gentle, barely noticeable sensation.
Lenna laid down again and stared at a picture of dawn falling over the Radel Sea on her wall. No news was not always good news, clearly. She could have hoped for many other answers to her hopeful question. “He’s awake”, “His mind is back”, “He’s safe” or “He’s fine” being some of them. Ciaran was not the most expressive of all people she knew, but still. At least he had replied. But… See you tomorrow ?
Her parents had never gone into much detail about the Fifth Ceremony, and never actually said much other than the five Rulers would be there and that only panoms were allowed. Which Lenna had always assumed it meant her mother would be present. But if Ciaran was going to be there, there was a high chance that panoms of every House would also be there, and she knew of another silver-eyed panom who was likely to make a presence too. Lenna took a deep breath.
It didn’t seem like Theon was going to make it to her balcony anytime soon, if he even wanted to bother. It had been stupid to even ask him. And if she was going to have panoms of every House as the audience while she became one of them, the best thing she could do was to get some sleep. Because her life was about to change.