21. Lenna
21
Lenna
L enna wanted to throw the fucking orb across the room.
The main reason she was resisting the urge to smash the damned sphere was because she knew precisely which smug smile of satisfaction Jake would have if he realized she was so fucking pissed.
“Maybe it's not me, you know,” she said, her voice sharp as she put her hands on her hips. “The one who is useless at this.”
She half regretted her words immediately. Because how very mature of her to pass the ball of whose fault it was that she was so damn slow at learning to control her magic. But she needed to vent. They had been at this for days. For so many hours every day. It was fucking draining.
Jake snorted. “Of course it’s not you, sweetheart. Controlling your magic is everyone else’s responsibility but yours,” he smiled.
“Fuck off,” she spat. She was so done with this shit.
Except—no. Damn every single Cardinal one by one, but if there was anything she actually wanted was to control her powers, to learn how to use them, and to make a change and feel powerful enough to do so.
“I tried, okay? But clearly, this orb business is not working for me.” Lenna waved her hands across the room, at all the orbs floating or spread on the floor, most of them with golden sparks inside them. All she had done until now: Give them useless sparks in their very useless center. Not even close to Healing, probably what would be more useful in order to help Raoul.
Jake walked towards her as he said, “The original power of your House and the North Cardinal was Giving. It is expected that you will be more prone to gaining the control of this power.”
He put a hand under her chin, slowly lifting it until her golden eyes met his silver ones. He was so close she could smell his leather and ginger scent. Lenna had the impulse to push his fingers away from her skin, but his grave whisper stopped her. “You are harsh on yourself. And that, sweet fire, will take you very far.”
Before Lenna could assess what that whisper had done to her core and how very close to a fire she was getting, he stepped away. “But I agree. It is time to try… alternative methods.” Lenna was not sure why his eyes shone with a different light as he said that. He combed a hand through his dark hair, the muscles of his forearm tensing.
“I know you are so generous that you can’t resist all this Giving, but it is time you start Taking. Starting with something you care about,” a movement of his hands and he was suddenly holding a candle, the other hand holding her book of Cause on top of the flame. The same book of Cause she had written in during her childhood. The same where she had kept record of her feelings and thoughts.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” Lenna’s eyes were wide, her voice a gasp. She didn’t know how he had brought her damned book of Cause from her bedroom in the North House.
“Focus all your rage on your goal,” Jake ordered. “Your goal is to Take this away from me. Nothing else matters right now. Gather your power in its source: your panom mark. Visualize how you would pull the South petal from your skin and close your hands, as if you were actually pulling it. And Take this from me before I burn it to ashes.”
Oh, she was going to burn him to ashes if he so much as neared the vivid flame to the book that had accompanied her all these years. She was going to—
“Focus,” Jake insisted, and Lenna tried. “Focus on the South petal of your panom mark. And fucking Take this away from me or I swear I will—”
Book and candle flew across the room, violently slamming against the farthest wall and dropping to the floor. As the flame spread on the wooden floor and into the corners of the cover.
“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” Lenna shouted as she ran towards it. But Jake got there first, mouring.
“Give it water. Now,” Jake ordered.
Lenna looked at the corners of her book on fire, frowning, raging tears already lining her eyes. And the oppressing feelings in her chest. It was a pulse between frustration and panic. Raw, hateful panic.
“Focus on the North petal of your mark, think about Giving water and open your hands. Now,” he urged, “Or it will be too late.”
Her breathing cutting as she tried to fight her sobs, she focused on Giving the damned water to stop this tedious fire.
A water curtain fell from the ceiling of the entire room, soaking them both completely. Book, flame and all the orbs included.
“So aggressive, Brachyan,” Jake murmured, approvingly.
Lenna kneeled on the floor, breaking the damned candle in half and throwing the broken pieces at him. “You have no clue about how aggressive I can be,” she bared her teeth, “Not a fucking clue.”
Jake stared at her, his soaked clothes marking every single muscle of his body. “I like a challenge,” he smiled, a silent invitation.
She picked the soaked book from the floor. It was ruined. Fucking ruined, and she was going to kill him.
“Don't look so devastated. Your powers can always be used to your advantage, and as long as you know which petal you are pulling from and you focus on it, you can make your magic work. Think about how to fix it and do it. And maybe also stop this shower while you’re at it.”
He made it sound so easy, it made her feel so stupid. She hadn't tried how to Heal yet, but technically only living beings could be Healed, so that was not an option. Giving and Taking would have to do.
Lenna focused on Taking the water as she closed her fist sharply. The water curtain stopped falling from the ceiling. The book became dry.
Half sighing with relief but also dreading to see if the ink was now splattered and illegible, Lenna opened it. Only to find the pages blank. Not a single word in the entire book. For a moment she wondered if she had Taken the words from it by mistake. For a moment, she thought she had royally fucked up.
“I only paid attention to the cover when you were writing in it at the North House library. So that was as far as my replica went.” Jake crossed his arms.
“Your what ?!” she shouted.
“The actual book is safe wherever you left it. I figured you would benefit from some motivation.” His clothes were dripping on the floor. “And I was right. You Took and Gave in different ways. This is the most progress you have done since we started. By far.”
Lenna looked at him, rage burning in her chest. He was so convinced that he had done the right thing. That he had done her a favor. He was not even considering apologizing for almost giving her a heart attack at the thought of losing one of the most precious items she possessed.
His eyes pinned her stare on the spot and she became very aware of her peaked nipples under the soaked cold shirt. She didn't fucking care. She was so angry she didn’t even know if she could talk.
“You are powerful, Lenna,” her first name on his lips felt unfamiliar. The respect in his voice, too. “More than you think.”
“Shame that this is me fucking done with you, Jake Coralt.” Lenna pushed the blank, useless book against his chest. She could have sworn his eyes flickered in amusement as she stormed out of the Coronary Atrium, biting her lips as in a failed attempt at trying to keep her tears in. She was so, so done with him.