Chapter Fifteen
“You know,” April said, brushing out her hair before bed that night, “I wouldn’t be surprised if, in an odd way, this didn’t benefit Becky’s self-confidence.
She seemed so surprised that anyone could feel as strongly about her as Barley did.
And that Edward wouldn’t sully her reputation by naming her. ”
“Edward certainly seems to have benefitted from being hit on the head. If the change lasts beyond his recovery.” Piers, who had come up to bed with her for once, was sitting up against the pillows in his ornate dressing gown, his knees drawn up with an open book resting against them.
He wasn’t reading it but watching April’s familiar routine.
Just over a year ago, when he had first met her, her hair had been short, dirty and knotted.
Now it shone like a halo. “It could have been a great deal worse.”
April nodded, her gaze meeting his in the glass. “Barley won’t offend again, will he?”
“He knows I’ll be watching.”
April smiled, believing him—rightly, as it happened. These days, Piers juggled so many tasks and issues at a time, that he suspected sometimes he would break beneath the burden. Only he never had. So far. On the contrary it helped keep the old blackness away.
Or perhaps that was all because of April.
She laid down the brush and stood up from the dressing table. She wore only a nightgown, a flimsy piece of lacy nothingness that made the pulses race, and a thoughtful expression.
“I wouldn’t even be surprised if Becky and Edward formed a more serious relationship.”
“Like Mr. and Mrs. Park? You are an incurable romantic.” He raised the bedcovers.
“You think I’m wrong?” she asked, climbing in beside him.
He tucked the covers around her, his hands lingering. “I didn’t say that.” There was much he had to say, however, though he didn’t quite know where, or how, to begin. He drew in his breath to try.
“I’m surprised you came up to bed with me,” she said. “I thought you would take part in the nightly ritual in the library.”
“We are here for a fortnight. And I’m not blind to the difficulties you have faced among these particular strangers.”
She was always generous. “They are less strangers than they were.”
“I’m glad to see you more at ease with them.”
“Do they still worry you?”
“Less,” he admitted. “I saw Hubb and Mrs. Hubb in close conversation after dinner. I think they are both learning to drop the past and appreciate the present. Fosterson too—his ambitions have to be reached one step at a time, but it doesn’t stop him doing good.
I think he’ll go to London to see Gil Laine, maybe even go into practice with him.
With two of them—and Mrs. Gil’s money—they could achieve a great deal.
Oh. I also discovered what he was hiding from me. ”
“What?” April demanded.
“The night of the attack, he was hanging out of his open bedroom window, when he saw Peggy above him doing the same from hers. Some sort of flirtation occurred. So he knew she was up late and feared she would be in trouble if he told anyone.”
April nodded against his shoulder, silent for a few moments. Then she said, “And is Dr. Hale resigned to his vicarage?”
“If Claudia is.” He turned her face up to his, because he needed to look at her to say what he had to. “I think you have helped there.”
April’s eyebrows flew up. “I? She barely tolerates me. Though she might be coming round.”
“I never thought of her...resenting you,” Piers said.
He heard her breath catch. Worse, she stiffened in his hold. “Why not?” she asked at last. “You are not a stupid man.”
“But I am,” he said ruefully. “Hale and I both flirted with her at Oxford. We spent a lot of time at Prof. Algie’s house in those days.
It was fun, but it never felt real to me.
It was as if Hale and I chaperoned each other.
It never entered my head that Claudia was any more serious than I was.
I never touched her, you know. Her father was there most of the time for one thing!
But like Edward, I either didn’t see or didn’t care about the damage I was doing. ”
“Piers, you spoke of marriage.”
“I didn’t,” he said, appalled. “I never even thought it. I was committed to an academic career where marriage was impossible. I assumed, rightly or wrongly, that she knew that. Even before my brother died, we saw less of each other. She moved on, too. She would never have agreed to marry Hale if she’d carried a torch for me. ”
April seemed to understand. “But curiosity brought her here. And then she saw you again and began to wonder.”
“I don’t think she wonders anymore,” Piers said. “She loves Hale. And sees that I love you, and why.”
It isn’t enough, he thought in sudden panic, for she still felt tense beside him. She accepted his words as truth, but something was still wrong, still broken, and he had no idea how to fix it, if it could be fixed. Without April’s love and trust...
“Don’t be hurt,” he blurted. “You have no reason to be hurt by my heedless youthful follies.”
She reared up, away from his touch. “Youthful? You are seven and twenty!”
“Now, I am,” he said baffled. “I wasn’t then.”
“But you didn’t tell me. Why did you not tell me? Warn me?” The hurt stood out in her eyes like physical pain.
“I didn’t think of it,” he said honestly. “I didn’t think of her at all. My head was full of you and the baby and the reunion with these fellows.” Perhaps he was not quite so good at juggling as he imagined.
April stared at him. “You didn’t think of her?”
He shook his head.
The look that scared him began to fade from her eyes. “But her presence here shocked you. You must have thought of her then. Yet still you said nothing to me.”
“With thought came a certain amount of shame. I’m not proud of myself.”
“I had to hear it from Hale.”
“Who had it wrong. There had never been a question of marriage between Claudia and me.”
She sagged against him and with absurd relief, he placed his arm back around her. “I liked Claudia. I still like her. But I have only ever loved you. I only ever will.”
She lifted her face and he kissed her.
She pulled back, dashing one hand across her eyes. “Am I a hysterical expectant mother?” she asked shakily.
He drew her closer again. “Every party should have one of those.”