Chapter 32
Rachel
After Penelope left the suite, Rachel didn’t really go back to sleep. She kind of dozed a little bit, but now that she was half-awake, all she could really think about was how she’d said “my love” to Penny the night before.
Scrolling through her contacts, her eyes caught upon Elisabeth’s name. Elisabeth had been the one to introduce her and Penelope, finding her very own Lyra that same night. The two of them had become friends of sorts, and dialing her number now seemed like the right decision.
It took ages for the call to go through, and when it did, Elisabeth’s face flashed up on the screen, looking slightly surprised. “Rachel? Hey, is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I just… I was wondering if I could talk to you about Penelope.”
There was a pause, and Elisabeth looked torn. “I’m happy to, but Moira’s the one who knows her best.”
“I know but I don’t want to put her in an awkward position. I just… I need to talk to someone.”
Elisabeth’s face cleared and she nodded. “So you’ve realized that you’re in love with her, right?”
“ How did you know? ”
The other woman ran a hand through her cropped pixie cut, amusement painting her face in broad strokes. “Everyone knows, Rachel. You’re pretty obvious about it.”
“You are!” came a voice from behind her, and then Lyra’s rainbow-colored space buns filled the screen. “Hi, Rachel!”
“Hi, Lyra.” Rachel wasn’t entirely certain what to make of this.
Something of her discomfort must have shown on her face, because Elisabeth added quickly, “I mean, Penelope’s completely clueless. Has no idea whatsoever.”
“She might have a bit of an idea,” admitted Rachel. “I kind of called her ‘my love’ last night.”
Lyra’s eyes rounded so much that they looked like flying saucers below a starry sky. “Woooooow.”
“It’s not that big a deal,” said Elisabeth, attempting reassurance, but her face didn’t match her words. “You really called her ‘my love’?”
“Yup,” said Rachel, her heart sinking. “I fucked up, didn’t I?”
“I mean, the two of you aren’t even dating…”
“We are!” interjected Rachel. “I forgot to say that; we’re dating now. And sleeping together. Not just scening anymore.”
That took both the women on the screen by surprise. “You’re… you’re dating her? And Penelope’s used those words? Out loud?”
“Called me her girlfriend and everything,” said Rachel proudly.
“How much do you know about…”
“About Cristina? A fair bit.”
“Who’s Cristina?” asked Lyra.
“Penelope’s ex,” explained Elisabeth and Lyra said “ Ohhhhhh ,” in a tone that implied that she hated this Cristina person as much as Rachel did.
“Okay, so after Cristina, Penelope decided that she wasn’t going to date again. No sex, no love, just kink to take the edge off. So focused on being obedient and good that I always suspected that there was something beneath the surface, something that she didn’t want anyone to see.”
Rachel stayed conspicuously silent.
“I see,” said Elisabeth with a small smile.
“Good for you, Rach. We’d all given up hope that she’d ever let down those walls again.
To be honest, I couldn’t even have imagined Penelope calling someone her girlfriend, so I think you’re in unchartered territory.
Just… just don’t love bomb her. She won’t trust it, and it’ll make her distrust you. ”
“I’m being careful,” said Rachel. “And I’ve tried to let her lead everything. I’d have been happy if we’d just stayed scening, if that was all she wanted, but now she wants to explore more, and these emotions and connections between us… I’m just worried that I’ll scare her off.”
“Be honest with her,” said Lyra, her voice serious.
“That kind of trauma, it brings with it this ability to sense when something’s off.
She’d have learned to tell when her ex was in a weird mood—it’s an instinctual survival response.
So be as bluntly honest with her as you can.
Tell her what you’re scared of; it’ll make her realize that she’s not the only one who’s got something at stake here. ”
That made sense. Rachel nodded slowly. “I can do that.”
“Okay, now tell me about Rawhide Ranch!” said Lyra, enthusiastically. “Is it as exciting as Bex makes it sound?”