Chapter 15 Sage
The rest of my year eventually realized Lola wasn’t the reincarnation of some ancient pig god and revolted in potions class.
They refused to do any of the lesson unless Professor Thornheart changed her back.
We ended up having a very fun potions class because Professor Thornheart kicked them all out of his class, gave them a zero for the day, and we learned a potion to see in the dark.
I was pretty sure learning that potion was no accident. I wasn’t sure if it would help us see through the void, but no one would know that until they got stuck in it. The rest of our class could have used it if Lola and her mate turned on them.
And Professor Thornheart apologized to Liam for holding fast to the rule about not swapping lab partners when he could see Lola was making him uncomfortable. He thought it was just a crush, but he still should have done something.
We were in Magical Combat, which Lucian was taking a lot more seriously, and Liam couldn’t stop cracking pig jokes. Even Professor Adamastus brought it up.
“Professor Thornheart threatens to turn one of you arseholes into a pig every year, but hasn’t actually done it in seven years.
Tricksters are generally a giant pain in the arse and not a single one of them has been turned into a pig.
His precious Highness The Horned God turned up to my class looking like a bloody blueberry, so everyone knew he pinched some Touch Me Not from the potion stores and he didn’t get turned into a pig. ”
“In all fairness, I thought it said Touch Me Not because it got you high,” Liam said.
“You ate the chief ingredient in magical hair dye, you sentient pubic lice. Warm up.”
“I regret nothing,” Liam announced. “There are always mishaps in the progress of science.”
“Do you really want to get high that badly?” I asked.
“No. I want to get other people high with all natural psychedelics. People on a plant-based high are usually chill. They aren’t belligerent and violent like alcohol and some other drugs.
I’ll bet if you can get Lola and Apep the right edible, a giant bag of cheese and onion crisps, some ice cream to dip them in, and park them in front of a telly playing a documentary about reptile dicks, they wouldn’t even think about murdering anyone. ”
“Don’t think it works like that,” Khalid said.
“Mate, your Da’s a cop. Have you even gotten high before?”
“Pretty sure Sage is the only one of us who hasn’t gotten high before.”
“Uh, what do you think I did in Amsterdam?”
We all turned to look at Lucian, who was pointedly ignoring all of us and stretching. I just shrugged. He’d never do anything that put him in a situation where he wasn’t in total control. There was nothing wrong with that.
“If I don’t see you fuck faces warming up, you’re all running laps!”
I looked around. I was chatting with Liam and Khalid instead of stretching, but I was just about to get to it.
Lucian, Mazen, Ivar, Ari, Alexios, Adrian, and Radames were all doing what they were supposed to be doing.
Everyone else was buried in their phones and I just really didn’t want to get stuck doing laps for the entire class again.
“What the fuck are they doing?” I said, bending down to stretch my hamstrings.
“It helps to have super hearing. They think they can find the reversal spell to turn Lola human again on a supernatural search engine.”
“My Homer is a little rusty, but Hermes told Odysseus to do whatever Circe wanted. He slept with her and she turned them back, but I don’t think it works like that.
I think if a powerful sorceress wanted to punish some men, it was going to take more than a good dicking to change them back.
It sounds like a revision by a male author,” Khalid said.
“Did she breast boobily when she was breaking the curse? Because that would confirm it,” Liam nodded.
“Circe was crafty,” Alexios said. “She slipped a potion in their wine, but she also cast a spell. Professor Thornheart isn’t a reincarnation.
From what I’m understanding, you have to be a reincarnation or exceptional to teach here.
Professor Thornheart had to somehow get his potion in Lola’s food or drink and cast that spell.
I never saw him move his mouth or move his hands to cast it.
I’m sure the staff are just as annoyed with the minions as we are as they treat them like garbage.
I’m pretty sure our potions professor just sent them all on a wild goose chase and he’s the only one who can turn Lola back. ”
“Those of you that have your phones out instead of stretching are going to regret it!”
“Sir, we’re trying to figure out how to turn Lola back.”
“If you make my girlfriend run laps, I’m going to break out all the pork belly recipes I learned from a lovely Filipino lass passing through my hostel and my famous maple bacon cannolis and I’m not using an actual academy pig,” Liam snarled.
Sorry, I probably looked like a complete psychopath because none of them knew Lola had her boyfriend beat her and was responsible for all the deaths on campus and I fell out laughing when Liam threatened to cook Pig Lola.
If any of them gave any appearance of questioning her ever changing stories, we’d probably approach them and warn them, but none of them had.
And maybe I was twisted because if we could just cook Pig Lola and serve her friends bacon and end this, it would just be perfect, but we couldn’t. I could not stop laughing. I don’t know if Adrian even realized why I found this funny, but he started laughing, too.
My entire group started laughing while the rest of the class looked at us in horror. Radames never stopped stretching and briefly looked at all of us like we were annoying children and he was above all of this. Even Professor Adamastus looked like he wanted to laugh.
“All of you might want to consider that the staff here is trying to turn all of you into functional adults since you’re going to eventually have incredible power.
No one is being mean to you for absolutely no reason.
I’m going to run you ragged and give you a zero for today if you don’t participate in my class.
I’m the reincarnation of Ares. I have ways of forcing you to run and they aren’t fun.
I suggest you be less worried about changing your friend back and more worried about what they did to deserve to be turned into a pig. ”
“Are you victim blaming?” someone gasped.
I could never remember that one’s name, but she was actually worse at running laps than I was.
I never got bit by a vampire because I was still running, even if slowly and badly.
She kept walking even though she got bit so many times, she had to be carried off the field to the nurses office because she couldn’t stand up.
Our first class started at nine in the morning and she always showed up late, half asleep, and in her pajamas.
No judging. I wasn’t a morning person, and neither was Morgana. The only reason we were remotely functional in the morning was because our guys figured out how we took our coffee.
And I just noticed something. My group and Ivar’s group were around each other like the rest of the school. Adrian fit right in as soon as he got close enough to Ari to sense him. No one else was connecting the way they were supposed to because Lola was in the way.
I was pretty sure the lazy girl was named Lena, and she was on a team with two women and one man. They all looked more concerned with Lola than each other and Lena was getting in trouble in all her classes because she was either half asleep or didn’t do any of the reading.
I knew my group, and I’d been around Morgana’s and Ivar’s.
We were all friends, and we’d do anything for each other, but if Liam, Khalid, or Lucian was having trouble in school, I’d do everything in my power to help them.
I’d make time for my friends, but I wouldn’t let them take up all my time at the expense of my mates.
Something was going on. Maybe if I could figure out what, it would take us closer to finding Apep.