Chapter 25
CHRISTINE’S STRENGTH AND STABILITY returned over the next two days. Doctors and nurses took bloodwork and checked her vital signs regularly while she slowly returned to normal. She was rarely alone, as visitors came periodically to spend time with her, bringing flowers, food, and updates. Occasionally, she asked them to leave so she could get some rest, but Val was keeping her company this morning while Live with Kelly and Mark played on the room’s small television.
Christine tipped her head back to stretch her shoulders. The hospital bed was reasonably comfortable but nothing like being in her own bed. Val stood and helped fluff her pillow slightly, almost without thought.
“Thanks,” Christine gave Val a soft smile.
“I know how stiff you get when you’re sick. Remember your junior year when you had norovirus? You could barely get out of bed for a week.”
“Oh God, I felt even worse than I do now.”
“You were so ill. It was all I could do to get fluids in you. Do you remember ‘accidentally’ spilling your Gatorade on me, so I’d leave you alone? ”
“I don’t know how you put up with me.” Christine looked at her, her physical exhaustion bleeding into poor emotional restraint. “I’m so sorry I was such a nightmare. Thank you for being here…” She hiccupped. Her body ached as Val put a comforting hand on her forehead.
“Sweetheart, I’m always going to be here for you. Why in the world do you think you need to thank me?”
“Because I was such a brat to you. I was rude and held you at arm’s length whenever I could. You didn’t deserve that.”
Val laughed long in response. “Do you think you’re the only teenager or adult child who gave their parent the Heisman? Please! When Nicole and Theresa were in college, I was lucky if I got one email a week between the two of them.”
“But you did so much for me, and I was so ungrateful.”
“No, you weren’t.”
Christine gave her a sardonic look, and Val hemmed a bit.
“Okay, maybe a little—but I didn’t take you in because I wanted some kind of little orphan Annie thing. I knew then, and I know now—sometimes kids are assholes to their parents. You’re supposed to feel safe enough to treat us badly and know we’ll love you anyway. And you had a rough go of it. Who wouldn’t be barbed having lost their dad and everything they could depend on? Besides, it’s not like I didn’t let you down. It’s one of my great regrets you didn’t get to go to your dream school. I get scared you won’t ever forgive me for that.” She gave Christine a tremulous look.
“There’s nothing to forgive. You made a mistake, but what parent doesn’t mess up? It’s not like my dad left me with a 529 plan to lean on. And you made sure I always had a home, always had someone looking out for me. I…I don’t say it enough, but I do love you—and Theresa and Nicole. ”
Val bit her lower lip as a warm, satisfied look filled her eyes and her cheeks glowed. “Well now, I knew, but I don’t mind hearing you say it.”
“I’m not great at saying it, but I’ll try to say it more often.”
“Did you say it to Erik?” Val arched a brow at her. “He must care a good deal for you to publicly reveal himself for your sake.”
Christine thought about what Erik had done for her—how he’d not only rushed to her aid and confronted Cynthia but continued to appear at her bedside every day despite the notoriety his presence elicited. Surely, he couldn’t be comfortable walking those well-lit halls—yet every afternoon, without fail, he arrived and stayed with her until she fell asleep.
“I did say it to him, not that it did much good. I don’t know if he believed me.” She sighed and put the back of her hand against her forehead. “Erik is…amazing.” She peeked at Val, who sat on the edge of her seat as if willing herself not to interrupt Christine. “I love him. I love him so much. But, Val, I don’t know if I can depend on him not to freak and shut me out. What if he disappears on me again?”
“There are no guarantees in life. I fell in love with my late husband in high school. I thought we would be dancing at our fiftieth anniversary. Instead, he died of a heart attack when Nicole and Theresa were teenagers.”
“Your point being?”
“I don’t regret my marriage just because my husband died young. I enjoyed every moment together, even the difficult ones.” Val stood and began to straighten up the room. “No relationship is free of obstacles, Christine. If Erik is willing to try to be a better man, and you love him, I think you owe it to yourself to try again because it could make you happy. But only you can decide if you want to take that risk.”
And the truth was, even after Erik’s sacrifice, Christine’s bruised heart was still unsure if she should try again.
Christine’s melancholy had enough distraction to keep her from dwelling on her relationship woes for the moment. Her biggest surprise came on her third day in the hospital when Rafe shyly admitted he had a date with a particular pop star that evening. This news gifted Christine her first belly laugh since her hospitalization.
“I asked her to dance at the gala, and she was charmed. We exchanged numbers, and we’ve been texting ever since.” He looked down at his hands. “She’s surprisingly pretty down to earth for…”
“The most famous woman on the planet?”
“Well…yeah!”
“I guess that explains why she sent me flowers.” She looked at the modest arrangement of sunflowers near the window.
“She says she hopes you feel better soon.”
“Please tell her I said thank you. Have an amazing time on your date. I can’t wait to hear how it goes.”
Reza and Sarah brought Julia later that day. Julia insisted on bringing one of her stuffies for Christine to cuddle with until she recovered. After they left, Christine rested until Marie came by after work with a signed card from the opera team.
“I didn’t know I was so popular.” She looked at Marie with a wry smile as she read the flowery messages.
“It looks as though Cynthia had been creating a narrative around you being lazy and bitchy and sleeping with their boss. They’re all starting to realize they made a mistake in who and what to believe. There’s a decent amount of guilt there.”
“Where is Cynthia now?” Christine asked.
“She’s staying with her parents in Westchester,” Erik said as he entered the room. “She’s going to be arraigned on charges of assault next week. I’ve contacted the ADA in charge of the case.” Christine smiled instinctually at the sight of him, and he gave her a shy smile in return. “She tried to accuse me of assault for grabbing her arm and going through her purse in the ER waiting room. Cynthia hoped she could sidestep the charges, but it turned out she incriminated herself. In setting up the board meeting, she started recording the meeting on Zoom before drugging your water. Her adding the pills to the bottle in front of your place card was caught on camera.”
“Even with that evidence, it’s unlikely she’ll get much hard time in light of the fact that she doesn’t have a criminal record.” His lips pressed into a frustrated grimace. “They’ll possibly plea her out. But they promised me to put the fear of God into her, and she’ll likely be on house arrest for some time.” He looked at Christine. “I wish there was more we could do.”
Christine took a deep, shaky breath. She hadn’t wanted to think about Cynthia. She should be insanely furious, but she struggled to summon the proper rage.
“Cynthia will make herself miserable no matter where she is. I…pity her, I think.” Her eyes met Erik’s. “That said, I never want to see her face again for as long as I live.”
The moment was interrupted by the arrival of Dr. Yoon, a regular visitor. Certainly, his concern for Christine had been his priority, but recently, she could’ve sworn it was to get closer to Val.
“Hi, Dr. Yoon.” She gave him a warm smile.
“Christine, how is my favorite patient today?” He smiled and clapped his hands, looking around the room. His grin fell imperceptibly.
“Val just went to get some coffee. She’ll be back in five minutes.” Christine gave him a cheeky grin.
He blushed slightly. “Looks like we can get you released today. Your vitals have stabilized, and you are well on your way to recovery.”
“Great news!” She sat up stiffly. “Does that mean I can lose the accessories?” She held up her arm with the IV tube. The medical-grade tape itched fiercely, and it was all she could do not to scratch.
“Yes, I’ll have a nurse come around soon. Can someone keep an eye on you over the next few weeks? I still think it’s a good idea for you to have some help. Serotonin syndrome as serious as yours can zap your body for a while. It might be some time before you’re back to one hundred percent.”
“Um…” She could stay with Val. Even Marie had offered to host her now that the renovations on her apartment were finished.
“Christine, if you’d like, I can host you again,” Erik offered quietly. She looked at him in pleasant surprise. There was no order, just a quiet suggestion. His dark-blue eyes showed a tentative hope she couldn’t resist.
“Yes, thank you. That’s probably best since the semester starts next week. It’ll be easier to get to school from Erik’s home.”
“Okay, I’ll speak with your primary doctor and get the paperwork started. We should be able to get you out of here in the next few hours.”
“Dr. Yoon, thank you so much for taking such good care of me. Is there anything I can do? Is there a certain phone number you might like?”
Dr. Yoon blushed again, gave a quick nod, and excused himself.
Erik wasn’t beyond feeling a sort of triumph as he walked into his apartment with Christine beside him. They’d gone through the garage entrance. Erik regretted that the paparazzi had camped out at the building’s main entrance ever since the article in the Post was published. Still, Christine handled it with a good-natured shrug. Joe had confessed earlier that day that a reporter from the Daily Mail offered him six figures to supply intel and photographs. Joe had nearly decked the man, then told Erik at once. Erik made a mental note to give Joe a raise.
Christine was quiet as he helped bring her things to the room she’d occupied many weeks ago. Meg had raided Christine’s apartment for toiletries and clothes. As always, Erik was able to get anything she needed. For once, Garret actually offered to make whatever trips were necessary. He had been unusually solicitous lately.
As Christine settled, Erik’s phone alarm went off. Christine gave him a quizzical look.
Erik checked his phone. “Shit—it’s time for my support group.”
“Support group?”
“It’s a virtual support group for people like me,” he mumbled. “I can miss it. Don’t worry about it. They’ll understand.”
“No!” she exclaimed, then calmed. “No, you shouldn’t miss that. I need some time to settle, take a shower, and change. Go on—I’ll be fine.”
“Soooo…Erik Gardner,” Evan started their session. Erik had the sense he’d been discussed offline. It didn’t surprise him. This group had known each other for some time. They likely talked by email or chat. “Nice to meet you. Are you really a billionaire?”
“So much for anonymity,” Erik grumbled. “I take it you read the article in the Post .”
“I saw the video of the altercation,” John said. “The New York Post is no better than toilet paper.”
“Are you okay, Erik? And how is that poor girl?” Sierra asked more gently.
Erik took a deep breath and nodded. “She’s doing better. She’s staying with me for a few weeks until the doctors are convinced she can be on her own.”
“Is this the ex-girlfriend you’ve been trying to win back?” Shauna asked, not hiding her interest in the drama.
“Yes, but I just want her to get better right now. I’m not pressing her for anything. I want to be her friend. To answer your other question, I’m fine for now. I’m compartmentalizing because she’s my number one priority. I know, at some point, I’m going to have to deal with being ‘outed.’” He made finger quotes.
“We’re all here when you want or need to start processing it. This will be quite a change from how you lived before.” John said. “Going from hiding to being out in the open is a big change. Don’t be surprised if you take two steps forward and one step back.”
“Yes, but maybe that’s not a bad thing. I certainly wasn’t happy hiding myself away. Change can be good. I’m choosing to be a little optimistic.”
They continued to other topics. John talked about his recent visit with his grandkids in Boston. He’d been wearing a prosthetic nose, and one of the toddlers pulled it off.
“What happened? How did the kids respond?” Erik asked. John had confessed previously to fearing how they would react to him.
“The oldest, Chloe, screamed for a bit. She’s five, so it was odd for her to see her Papa without a nose. James, he’s not yet three, looked at the nose in his hand with shock like, ‘Wait, what did I just do?’” John was smiling as though remembering his younger grandchild’s look. “Then he tried to put it back on and do the same thing to his face. Chloe calmed down and got interested in exploring my face. She asked if my boo-boo hurt and kissed me where my nose ought to be. We played ‘got your nose’ for twenty minutes until they got bored and asked to watch Paw Patrol .”
“How do you feel about it?” Evan asked.
“I mean, there was a moment when Chloe was screaming, and I got nervous. Who was I kidding to expose these kids I love to this horror show? But kids are elastic. Chloe’s mom, my daughter-in-law, said Chloe responded the same way to stepping in dog poop the other day. My grandkids love me—not my face. Now, when we FaceTime, they ask me to do the magic trick with my nose.”
“Luis and I had the same conversation last year before we began saving for IVF. I know my kid will love me no matter what I look like ’cause my parents love me that way, too. I’m just nervous about the parent-teacher conferences and the playdates…”
“You’ll find your mom tribe. My sister just had kids, and when you’re in the thick of it, you’ll just be happy when they don’t pee all over you,” Shauna offered.
“I’m sure you’re right. I’m just nervous. Especially now…”
“Are you pregnant?” Shauna asked excitedly.
“No, not yet, but our GoFundMe for IVF has been completely funded!”
Everyone paused to clap and offer congratulations.
“Thank you! We were halfway there, and some anonymous donor gave us the last $15K!” Her smile was even larger than usual.
“ Wow , one person gave all that? You must have a fairy godmother,” John said.
If they suspected Erik was the donor, they didn’t say anything. It was better that way.
Bibbidi- bobbidi-boo.
Christine was sure she’d misheard when Erik said he had a support group meeting. He wasn’t even uncomfortable about it, which amazed her further. He was getting actual help. She wanted to ask him about it but respected his privacy. For now, she’d get some rest—the move from the hospital had winded her.
When she woke up later, it was evening, and she went to investigate the noise coming from the living room. Erik was sitting on the couch watching football. Oh, that’s right—it was playoff season. When he spotted her, he muted the TV.
“Did you have a good rest?” he asked.
“Yes, but now my sleep schedule is all messed up. I should be tired, but I’m wide awake.”
“That’s good—you haven’t eaten yet. Let me get you food. Wendy sent up lasagna. Do you want me to heat you up a piece?”
“That sounds great, thanks.”
He got up and headed to the kitchen.
“Do you want anything to drink?” he called out.
She’d love a glass of wine, but it would probably be best if she held off for a few more weeks.
“Just water, thanks.”
She watched the game on mute—the Seahawks were playing the Cowboys—until she smelled the pleasant aroma of lasagna coming from the kitchen. Erik brought out two plates before going back to get them both drinks.
“This was so nice of Wendy.” She took a bite of the melted cheese and pasta and immediately grabbed the water as the heat permeated her tongue. “Ooh hot…”
“Yeah, be careful—heating things is a skill I haven’t mastered. Working on it.”
“Looks like you’ve been working on a lot lately. ”
“Yes, well, it’s about damn time.”
They ate in silence for a bit while they watched the Seahawks dominate the Cowboys. Erik explained that while he wasn’t a Hawks fan, he hated the Cowboys.
“Plus Garret will be thrilled,” Christine said. The Cowboys were a divisional rival of the Eagles.
“You know it. He was disappointed not to be watching here tonight.”
“You could’ve invited him.”
“I would’ve asked you, but you were fast asleep. I didn’t want to wake you. If you like, I can ask him to join us tomorrow for the Eagles-Bears game.”
“Please do. Wendy too, if she wants to come.”
Erik nodded. “I’ll let them know…” He looked over at her. “Oh no, I know that look. Dr. Yoon said you need to take it easy. I don’t think cooking while you’re recovering qualifies as taking it easy.”
“But it’s football! We need pigs in blankets!”
Erik sighed. “What if we have the ingredients delivered, and you can walk me through how to make them? That way, we won’t get in trouble with the good doctor.”
“That works.” She rewarded him with a smile.
They ate in companionable silence as the game continued. When the game ended with the Seahawks up by twenty-one, Erik groaned.
“Why couldn’t Geno Smith have played like that for the Jets?” he asked about the current Seahawks quarterback.
“I blame the Jets management,” she complained.
Erik harrumphed while he cleared their plates. She sat quietly for a moment before following him.
“Erik, what’s happened to you? Something changed so fast. I’m confused,” she admitted.
Erik stopped putting the dishes in the dishwasher and turned to her with a weary resignation.
“Not that I’m upset. I’m so grateful for all you’ve done for me. I’m having difficulty reconciling the man who dumped me before Christmas with the man who—wait, are those brownies?”
He offered her a plate, and she took one with an unashamed grin.
“I understand your confusion,” he said. “I want you to know that my behavior and these changes aren’t happening because of what you just went through. What I mean is—they were a long time coming.”
She patiently waited for him to continue while she devoured her brownie.
“The night of the Christmas party—earlier in the day—I argued with Reza. I’ve been going to a doctor to work on improving some of the worst of my scarring. That day, I’d been fitted with a prosthetic nose.”
“A prosthetic nose?”
“I’ll show you later. Do not get your hopes up. It’s a small step.”
Christine declined to say what she felt—she loved him, nose or no nose.
“The doctor was insistent I engage with a therapist or support group. I reacted very poorly and childishly to her and Reza. And that was my state when I went to get you. I was convinced neither understood that I had all I needed because of you.” He looked up at her. “When I arrived at the Cantor house, I pulled along the side and…and there you were, glowing and gorgeous and singing with Rafe. You were outstanding.” He gave a begrudging nod. “Rafe wasn’t half bad either.”
“Nothing compared to you,” she indulged him.
“Obviously, but as I watched the two of you, I was filled with this insane jealousy. ”
“I told you, there’s nothing between me and Rafe. He’s dating Jessie Skies now.”
“Is he? Wow. Good for him.” Erik shook his head. “I wasn’t jealous of Rafe. I was jealous of you.” Her lips parted in surprise as he continued. “You were on the verge of getting everything you wanted, and I was so mad because I was the only thing standing in the way of getting what I wanted. I was just sitting there, stagnating, as I had been for over a decade.”
“You were right when you said I hadn’t made peace with my situation. I thought I had, but I was just forming myself around my immovable stubbornness, oozing between the cracks of what I could and was willing to do. I’ve been a coward longer than I’d like to admit. As I watched you, our relationship seemed so impossible. How could I possibly be your partner when I was holding so much of myself back? How could I keep loving you if half the time I was jealous of you going out there and conquering your fears when I was unwilling to do the same?”
“And so…coward that I am, that I was, I broke up with you instead of confessing my fears.” He looked up at her, eyes wet with tears he held back. “I’m so sorry for what I did. After you rightly rejected me at the opera, I decided it was enough. I joined the support group three weeks ago. It’s new, but they’re great people. I’m looking into finding a therapist, too.”
Christine took a deep breath as she processed his words. “Erik, I’m so happy you’re taking the steps needed to get help. And…I’m so proud of you, too.” She smiled shyly. “Can I give you a hug?”
Erik walked to her and took her in his arms. He was warm and safe, just like she remembered. To Christine, it felt like coming home.
It felt like love.