CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
T HINGS ARE MORE QUIET IN the South Tower. Our first year numbers have gone down a little less than a third. It’s especially more quiet within our Chambers without all the drama, harsh glares and whispers. It doesn’t mean they’ve stopped altogether, though. Everyone heard about what happened during the Trial, especially regarding what I did to Evera and Cressida. The fae of Phixmery are divided: most believe I was in the right to defend Nero and take my vengeance, as is the fae way. Others—the number significantly smaller—believe I took it a step too far. Those few are the Banshees’ friends or ones who run in the elite circles of Damorleia.
My squad, on the other hand, didn’t think I took it far enough, considering if he died, so do I. Even if I killed them, it wouldn’t have been frowned upon. In fact, a lot of deaths that did occur during the trial were due to fae-on-fae combat—’culling the weak’ is what they said. I think it’s gryphon shit. Why would they want to kill off able-bodied soldiers when we are fighting a war that’s been going on for two decades? No one has been able to answer that question for me.
And then they turn around and try to convict me for defending myself. Something isn’t adding up here. But all I know is whatever Sergeant Driscol said to Rune probably saved my life. Although the male has been avoiding me like the plague since—I haven’t been able to thank him.
I need to watch my back here, especially since I gave away that I also have earth magick. Captain Batsil’s smug face when I had been forced to update her was like rubbing salt into a wound. She suspects now that other elements may show up during high-stress situations, and has even encouraged others to try to put me in those types of situations. Thankfully none have yet, but it’s only a matter of time.
“ Nero, are you awake? ” I ask him as I slowly sit up, getting ready to sneak out of here and go down to my sanctuary under the castle to train some more.
He glides down from his perch, hopping up onto my lap. “ Ready to watch you kick rock butt, ” he tells me, sounding wide awake.
The first day back here, I refused to let Nero leave my sight, not even to stretch his wings, worried that someone else might try something to hurt him. He seems fine, though—no ill effects to being nearly drowned by a magick bubble of water. Yet, it doesn’t stop him from describing in detail what he wants to do to those two. I say that it’s made him even more homicidal, which I didn’t think was possible.
I scoop him up and place him on my shoulder. My feet slide into my boots and with nimble fingers I lace them up before tiptoeing my way out of the room.
Nero stays on the lookout on our way down, a few bursts of amusement coming from him along with determination.
“ What’s going on? ” I ask as we walk into my space, making sure to hide the entrance behind a wall of stone, so if anyone did follow us, they would think it’s a dead end.
He shrugs his wings, letting out a caw that reminds me of a chuckle. “ Oh nothing. Just enjoying our weekly adventure down here, ” he states a little too casually.
My gaze narrows in suspicion on him as I strain my ears to hear anything that might be amiss, but I don’t notice a thing. “ Why are you acting weird? ”
“ I’m just proud of how far you’ve come. Before, you couldn’t defend yourself or be aware of your surroundings. You’re using me to your advantage and learning about our bond. So don’t be mad at me, ” he states as he flies off my shoulder on to his perch.
“ Why would I— ” The earth shakes a bit and dust falls off the stone where I sealed up the entrance. “ Nero, what did you do? ” I hiss, striking the flint and steel on my belt and summoning a flame to each palm, holding them towards my not-so-hidden entrance.
“ I didn’t notice them until we got down here, I swear, but Lennox has an earth ability. You’ve been made out. I’m sorry, Rav. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe you can tell them and they can help? My instincts tell me that we can, and you know those instincts are never wrong ,” he rambles as the earth slides open revealing the twins, Ember and Roz.
They step into the place I’ve carved out as my own with slackened jaws and wide eyes before their gaze lands on me.
Quickly, I seal off the entrance again so that if anyone followed them down, they hopefully don’t have earth magick and can’t get in.
“Ravie, what in the fates are you doing down here?” Roz asks, glancing around again. “How did you find this place?”
Ember crosses her arms watching me and then glances over to find Nero on a custom stone perch I’ve carved out of the wall for him. Her eyes light up. “She’s training,” she whispers. Her piercing yellow eyes land back on me. “Why didn’t you tell us? We all would have helped you. Have been helping you.” Her voice is laced with hurt, which is understandable.
Melissandre places a hand on her shoulder. “She probably has a good reason, right Ravina?” she asks, glancing back at me, her and her twin sporting the same looks of confusion.
I narrow my eyes at Nero, but I know I can’t stay upset with him. He spotted them too late, and them knowing how far his hearing range is probably helped them follow me. I clasp my hands together, racking my brain for something I can tell them. I settle on the easiest and just hope they let it be.
“I have access to all four elements and don’t want anyone else knowing, so I sneak down here to train once a week,” I state firmly, trying to convey with my tone that I’m confident that’s the only answer there is to give.
Nero flies back over to my shoulder and nibbles softly on my ear as he feels my anxiety rise. No one can know the truth. I have to keep my true identity hidden. I fiddle with my necklace under my tunic, the last thing I have from my mother, the item I never remove. Ever. Not since she placed it around my neck that night before we ran to the stables—one of the few memories I remember clearly, that isn’t blurred or missing from repressing them.
Ember tilts her head and glaces at Roz and the others. “That doesn’t explain why you would go to the trouble of finding this place and keeping it such a secret. A secret that would have been revered and helped you here. Why are you pretending to be weaker than you are?”
Fuck. Fates, why is she so observant? Panic claws at my throat and I shake my head. I can’t tell them. I should have pushed them away. Is this what I get for being selfish and wanting to know what having friends was like before I vanish after The Choosing?
“ Breathe Ravina ,” Nero orders. “ You don’t need to tell them the whole truth. You don’t need to tell them who you are. But I have a feeling we’re going to need them in the coming weeks. Just take a chance and trust me? If they betray us, I’ll take their eyes and you can make a necklace out of them .
I try to focus on his words, letting his own calmer emotions pull me out of my turbulent ones. Think Ravina, think. I look at each of their faces, each of them showing various amounts of concern and worry. I’ve grown close with each of them since I arrived here eight moon cycles ago. If I tell them anything, they’re going to be in danger. So before I say anything, I need to make sure they understand that. But maybe I can spin it so they don’t find out who I truly am, but the only way to do that will lead them closer to the truth then anyone else knows.
“Before I tell you anything, I…” I swallow, the words getting caught in my throat.
Rozen takes a step forward with a small smile, attempting to mask the concern that’s dimming his neon-blue eyes. “You can tell us, Rav. Any secrets you have, they’ll be safe with us. Right?” Everyone murmurs their sentiments before he continues. “No matter what, we got your back. We haven’t gone through hell together here not to.”
I swallow the lump in my throat as his words create a warm feeling in my chest. “You have to know, though: if I tell you, you’ll be in danger. I can’t tell you how or why, just what I’ve been told. You may even need to leave Phixmery with me, because if anyone finds out that you know…” I shake my head. “It’s dangerous.” I plead with them with my eyes, begging them to not ask and to go back to bed. To forget they ever saw me down here.
Ember shakes her head. “If you’re in danger somehow, we aren’t letting you do whatever it is you’re doing alone. To the void with Phixmery if that’s what it means,” she states firmly, a steely determination in her expression.
Despite her initial rough exterior and repelling aura she gave off, once she warmed up to Roz and me, she’s been an amazing friend. Someone I could see having my back for the rest of my life if it wasn’t for this situation. But she doesn’t know. Can’t possibly know. Fucking fates, why is this so hard?
“I know Mel and I are in the same boat as Ember. The moment you need out of here, we got your back,” Lennox adds.
“Yeah, and you’re not going alone, so don’t even think about it,” Rozen snarks.
My hand runs down my face. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into,” I whisper, my last attempt to get them to go back.
Ember walks over to me and takes my hands in hers. “You could be an heir of Vathia and I wouldn’t care. We know you and your heart, Rav.”
I swallow again, nodding. Pulling my hands out of hers, I rub the sweat from my palms off on my pants. “I don’t just have elemental magic…” I glance at all their faces as I whisper the last bit that I’ve been holding a secret for the past twenty years. But it still keeps my secret of no one knowing who I truly am. “I have all of them.”