Chapter 18 Tuesday #3
I shake my head. “I found the sketches in the recycling bin. There were at least twenty detailed, photocopied drawings of the grind train. Labeled and color coded. I imagine the same level of precision also went into the early blueprints of the atomic bomb.” I had brought one of the sketches home to show Jonathan, and we had dissolved into a fit of hysterics, the kind where your ribs ache and it hurts to breathe.
The memory sends a pang straight to my gut, putting a damper on the moment.
Finn clutches one hand to his chest as he laughs, while balancing his glass of punch in the other. “Cheers, to grind trains.” He clinks our drinks together, and Why am I thinking about Matthew raising his champagne glass into the air while I was stumbling through my speech?
“Cheers.” I smile, then sip my punch while doing my best to push away thoughts of Jonathan and Matthew.
I don’t get it.
Things are going so well with Finn. Why am I thinking of the other two right now?
Sandy’s voice echoes through my head in response: You’re having issues with two people who I know mean a lot to you, and yet you spent almost the entirety of today’s session talking about Finn, someone you’ve only known for a few weeks.
“By the way,” Finn starts, saving me from having to dig any deeper. I shift all my attention back to him. “Noah seems to really like your friend Meg. He’s been smiling at his phone nonstop.”
“That’s so sweet.”
I am, of course, thrilled for Meg. But at the same time, I’m acutely aware that I gave Finn my number over a week ago, and he hasn’t made use of it. “I think she really likes him, too,” I continue. “I know she’s looking forward to seeing him at the party.”
His eyes widen, like he’s suddenly remembered something. “You’re coming to that, right? I totally forgot to text you the invite.”
I take a sip of my punch, making him wait for my answer. “Yeah, I think I can make it.” As if I don’t already have my outfit picked out down to my underwear.
“Awesome.” He looks down at his empty cup. “I guess we should get back out there. Wouldn’t want any grinding to take place on our watch.”
“No, we wouldn’t.” I follow him back to the gym, where I can feel the wide-eyed gazes of Lucy and her friends burning into me. I walk over to their huddle.
“Well?” I place my hand on Lucy’s shoulder. “Did you get the part?”
She flashes me a smile full of metal. “I did.”
—
Thanks to DJ Spider’s insistence on playing the music at a near deafening volume, I haven’t been able to speak with Finn since we got punch.
That was two hours ago. The dance is almost over, I’ve broken up three grinding attempts, and he hasn’t offered me a ride.
It’s time to take matters into my own hands. It’s time to ask him.
“Let’s slow things down,” DJ Spider says into the mic, and I’m all too relieved when he lowers the volume slightly to match the vibe shift. I can finally hear myself think. With less than five minutes to take advantage of the quiet, I begin my trek across the dance floor to Finn.
“Excuse me.” I make my way through a sea of teens scrambling to pair up, stepping on a few toes in the process. “Sorry! So sorry.” I’m just about to break free of the crowd when I’m pulled into an open space, in the opposite direction I was heading in.
“You looked like you could use some help!” Teacher Rob.
“Oh, I’m okay, actually. I was heading over—”
“You’re just the person I’ve been looking for,” he says, leaning in close enough for me to smell the BO fighting through the top notes of his cologne.
“I am?”
“I have to drop Spider off at the bus stop. I know you said your car is in the shop. I’d be more than happy to drive you home since I’ll already be in the car and all.”
My stomach drops. I begin shaking my head. Frantically. “No, thank you. That’s a very kind offer, but—”
“I insist! It’s really no problem, Phoebe.
” He grins softly. “In fact, it would be my greatest pleasure.” I am instantly overwhelmed by a tidal wave of guilt.
Despite the occasional company of his old bandmate and a possible fling with Sue three decades ago, Teacher Rob is lonely.
He has to be, if the idea of a car ride thirty minutes out of his way, just to have some company, fills him with this much joy.
Which is why I find myself incapable of saying no.
“Okay.” I do my best to return his smile. “Thank you. That would be great.”
This is fine, I tell myself. I’ll have plenty of time to flirt with Finn at Noah’s party.
“Yes!” He pumps his fist in the air. “I have some tunes to play for you. Spider and I have been messing around with a new sound that I think you’ll really like.
It’s a mix of the heavy metal we used to do back in the day when we were the Krimson Kings, fused with some techno.
Kids these days are starting to appreciate good music again, Phoebe. ”
The lights turn on, saving me from having to respond. A minor victory overshadowed by a much larger loss. The dance is over, and I am not getting into Finn’s car.
I wave goodbye to the kids as they file outside to find their parents among a sea of identical luxury SUVs, and to Finn, who follows closely behind them. He doesn’t wave back. Instead, he curtsies.
“Ready, Phoebe?” asks Teacher Rob, and I nod, then lower my head in defeat as I follow him and DJ Spider out into the night.