Chapter 12
Chapter twelve
Delayed Penalty - A penalty is signaled, but play continues temporarily.
Cole
I didn’t even remember the last five minutes of the game.
I was skating on autopilot, just trying to keep my head from splitting open.
I could still feel the way the ice had burned under me, the way the cold had twisted and warped into something hotter and hungrier, just for a second.
Long enough for the steam to rise, long enough for everyone to see.
Long enough for the old terror to set in.
I sat on the bench, head down, hands shaking so badly I couldn’t get my helmet off. My gloves felt glued to my fingers. I kept expecting Coach to come by and yell, but he didn’t. Nobody did. They must have seen the look on my face and decided to let me be.
The locker room was a blur after. I didn’t even remember undressing.
I just kept thinking about the way the ice had melted, the way the trainers had hovered, the way the cameras had zoomed in for some “quirky malfunction” but really, anyone with eyes could see it wasn’t normal.
It was me. I was the freak of nature, just like my father always said.
I’d barely gotten my pads off when Keegan dropped onto the bench next to me, all bounce and buzz and weirdly gentle eyes.
He didn’t say anything for a minute, just sat there with his foot tapping on the tile.
I thought maybe the rookie would start chirping at me like usual, but he just waited until everyone else had filtered out.
Then he nudged my knee with his. “You okay?”
I couldn’t even look at him. “Fine.”
“Liar.” He said it so softly I almost missed it. “You know you can talk to me, right?”
I wanted to tell him to fuck off. I wanted to tell him I was busy, or tired, or any of the usual bullshit. But my hands were still shaking, and when I tried to undo my laces, I fumbled so hard I nearly punched myself in the thigh. He reached out and stilled my hands with his.
It shocked me so much I actually looked up, and he let go. I almost shook my head. I kept to myself with the team. I had to, but I’d never heard him mention a wife or girlfriend. Wait…was he hitting on me? I went to stand even though I was still shaking but met his eyes.
Keegan’s eyes were bright blue, almost silver around the edges. Not normal. Not even close to normal. I’d noticed it before but never really paid attention. Except now, when he looked at me, it was like he was seeing right through my skin.
“You did good out there,” he said. “But you scared the shit out of me.”
I swallowed. “It was just a bad hit.”
He grinned, but it wasn’t the usual cocky smirk. “Yeah. But you and I both know it wasn’t just the hit.” He leaned in, lowering his voice until it was barely a whisper. “You ever have trouble keeping it in before?”
My whole body went cold. I didn’t answer. Couldn’t.
He nudged me again, this time a little harder. “It’s not your fault, you know. You’re not the only one. If you don’t have a safe space to go, my uncle owns a ton of land not too far away.”
I stared at him, desperate for him to just say it, to just tell me I wasn’t crazy, that I wasn’t the only monster in the room, but my throat locked up. All I could do was squeeze my hands together until my knuckles turned white.
Keegan just waited. He didn’t push. Didn’t even look away. He let me sit there, hunched over, sweat freezing cold on my spine, until I could remember how to breathe.
I wanted to ask him if he’d seen it. I wanted to know what he thought he’d seen. The words wouldn’t come out. They stuck, choking me.
He leaned in a little closer, dropped his voice so low I almost missed it. “You’re not alone, you know.”
I just shook my head. I didn’t believe it. Couldn’t. But he didn’t seem pissed, or scared, or even surprised. Just…there.
“I'm sure you know if you hold it in too long it gets worse.” His eyes were so bright, I couldn’t look at them for more than a second. “I saw the ice. No one else noticed, but I did.”
I swallowed hard. There was a roaring in my ears. “You’re not going to tell anyone?”
He smiled, but it wasn’t mean. “Like who? I keep the same secret.”
I didn’t know what to do with that.
He just shrugged. “If you ever need to talk, or need a place to go…” He tapped his phone, but I knew I had all the team's numbers. “I mean it. Don’t let it twist you up. Makes the control worse.”
I nodded, but my hands were still shaking.
Keegan stood, slow and easy, giving me time. “You did good out there. Got us the win.”
He stood and left me alone. The silence in the locker room was thick, but somehow, knowing Keegan knew—and didn’t hate me for it, didn’t even blink—it helped. A little.
Enough to get dressed. Enough to breathe.
I knew the press were waiting for me, and somehow, I managed to operate on automatic pilot through it.
Keegan hung around, almost protectively, and for some reason so did the Scottish-Canadian giant, Taranis.
Maxim and Ash from my line were supportive as always, but both Keegan and the giant goaltender had my back. It was surreal.
Phoenix was mostly silent on the ride home, and I was relieved I’d gotten a car and not driven. The second we were through the door in the apartment and it was closed, he turned to me and opened his arms.
I didn’t even try to hide it. I just dropped my bag and went to him. He wrapped his arms around my waist. Just held on tight. I let my chin rest on top of his head, breathing in the scent of him, the weird mix of clean laundry and soap and my shower gel I loved smelling on him.
He was safe. He was here. I was here.
“I won’t ask if you’re okay because I know you’re not,” he whispered.
I nodded. I couldn’t lie to him. Not about this.
He just squeezed me tighter. “But when you’re ready to talk about whatever happened, I’m ready to listen.”
And damn, I wanted to so much. So bloody much.
I just couldn’t.
Phoenix
The first thing I noticed was the quiet.
The kind of quiet that comes after a storm—heavy, waiting. Cole had fallen asleep sometime after dawn, sprawled half on top of me, his breathing shallow but even. I’d wanted to stay like that, listening to his heartbeat, pretending the world outside didn’t exist for a few more hours.
Then the front door slammed open.
Hard.
Cole jerked awake instantly. For a second, his eyes were unfocused—then he was up, every muscle snapping tense. The sound came again, louder this time. A voice. Deep. Angry. Familiar in a way that made Cole go absolutely still.
“Cole!”
His father.
I sat up, heart hammering. Cole’s bare chest gleamed with sweat; the bruises from the game looked worse in daylight.
“Stay here,” he hissed, already pulling on the first shirt he could find.
“Cole—”
He turned on me, eyes bright gold for just a flash. “Please, Phoenix. Don’t come out. Not for this.”
Then he was gone, the bedroom door not quite shut behind him.
I slid silently to the edge of the bed, every instinct screaming to follow, but something in his tone stopped me cold. Through the half-open door, voices carried—harsh, clipped, echoing off the walls.
“You lost control, didn’t you?” his father said. No preamble. No warmth.
“I didn’t—”
“Don’t lie to me, boy!” A crash. Something hit the counter. “The footage was all over the networks. That ice didn’t just melt. You nearly burned a hole straight through the damn rink!”
Cole’s silence was worse than his words.
“You were supposed to be bound,” his father continued, lower now, dangerous. “Your control was sealed. Do you have any idea what would happen if the wrong people saw that? If the Council did?”
“The binding’s holding,” Cole said through gritted teeth. “It was an accident. I got hurt, that’s all.”
“An accident?” His father scoffed. “You think the elders will see it that way? You think they’ll just ignore a public display of dragonfire in a human arena?”
I crept closer to the door, pulse hammering. Dragonfire. What the actual fuck? My stomach dropped.
“I’m coming back,” his father said finally, voice like flint. “And I’m bringing an elder. We’ll rebind you before you burn your entire life down and take the rest of us with it.”
“No.” Cole’s tone was quiet, steady, but there was something in it I’d never heard before. Steel. “I’m not letting you, Father.”
“You don’t have a choice.”
“I do now.”
A long pause followed. I could almost picture his father’s face, disbelief, then cold fury.
“You’ve clearly forgotten the hurt and shame you caused your mother,” he said finally, “but if you lose this deal for me, I’ll make what happened to you at school look like a picnic.”
I started grabbing clothes and shoving them in my old bag.
I needed to get out of here, they were all fucking crazy.
I had five thousand dollars, and I’d leave it with Ricky then just bail.
Five thousand would get them another apartment, and as soon as I could, I would get my own and a job.
I was yanking on my pants, ignoring the twinge in my ribs when I finally registered the now silent apartment, and I turned.
Cole stood staring at me, then his eyes dropped to the bag. He just nodded as if what I was doing was perfectly reasonable, then he whirled around and strode to the kitchen. I heard the apartment door slam again and knew Cole had gone.
He’d gone without any sort of explanation.
But then I looked down at the jeans I was holding in my hands. The ones I was just going to stuff into my bag.
Because I was going to run out on him. My knees buckled on their own, and I sank to the bed.
His expression. His posture? It had been defeated, like he expected nothing less.
I sat there, the jeans limp in my hands, and stared at the space where he’d stood.
The bag, half packed and ugly, gaped on the bed.
My chest hurt worse than my ribs. Worse than any bruise or break.
Because all I could see was the look on his face, the way he hadn’t even tried to stop me.
Like he’d already decided I was going to run.
Like I always did.
It should have made it easier. If he didn’t care, I could just walk. I could take the painkillers, the five thousand, and the guilt, and just vanish. Leave a note, or not. It wouldn’t matter. He’d half expect it. Maybe the only surprise was that I’d waited this long.
But I couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t fucking do it. Not after last night. Not after the way I’d held him, the way he’d come undone in my arms. The way he’d come back from a game bruised and empty, and I’d been the one he wanted to curl up with, like I was something worth coming home to.
I didn’t understand what was going on. I mean, dragons?
It was like some weird sci-fi TV show. It couldn’t be real.
It was impossible…but then the look in his eyes had been very real.
When he knew I was leaving him. He’d expected it, so I knew it hadn’t been the first time someone had turned their back on him.
I pressed my fists to my eyes, hard, willing the tears not to fall. Pathetic. I was pathetic. But the truth was, I wanted to stay. I wanted to try. I didn’t want to be the person he’d already written off, the one who always left when things got hard.
My hands shook as I dumped the clothes out of the bag, one by one.
I shoved them into the drawer, not caring that they didn’t belong to me, not caring that the shirts were too big or the sweats hung off my hips.
I didn’t want to look at the bag. I didn’t want to look at anything that reminded me how easy it would be to run.
The envelope burned in my pocket, heavy and damning. I wanted to tear it up, flush the bills down the toilet, but I couldn’t. Ricky needed it. The baby needed it. I was still stuck. Still trapped. But that didn’t mean I had to run. Not yet.
I made the bed, hands clumsy and slow. I smoothed the sheets twice, three times, because I couldn’t stop thinking about the way Cole had held me last night. Like he never wanted to let me go.
I wandered to the kitchen. The place was silent, cold, but I could still feel the echo of his presence everywhere.
The mug I’d used last night was still by the sink.
I washed it, rinsed it twice, set it on a towel to dry.
I couldn’t leave a mess. I couldn’t leave anything for him to trip over when he came back.
I stood there for a long time, just holding the edge of the counter, staring at nothing. The words from the corridor wouldn’t leave me alone.
It was always about control. About being bound and re-bound, about never letting anyone see what was underneath. I got that. I’d spent my whole life hiding the worst parts of myself. But maybe, just this once, I could stay. I could be the person who didn’t run.
I needed to find him, but how when I didn’t have a ride? Ricky? I could take him the money and borrow his car. I didn’t know where to look, but at least I could try. I grabbed my jacket, stuffed the envelope in my pocket, and grabbed an unopened envelope, turning it over so I could write on it.
Gone to find you.
Taking a deep breath, I rushed to the door and swung it open, coming to an abrupt halt at the two men I recognized. Ignatius Steel from the VIP box, and I assumed this was his nephew and Cole’s teammate, Keegan.
Now what?