Chapter 11
11
LINDSAY
I woke up wrapped in heat and muscle, my cheek pressed against Beck’s bare chest. His arm was locked tightly around my waist as though I might vanish if he let go. For a guy who always looked like he was one second away from snarling at the world, he sure clung like a caveman in his sleep.
Not that I was complaining.
I didn’t move right away. Last night had been a lot—chaos, danger, arguments, and multiple rounds of sex that had left me shaky in the best way. Waking up like this felt safe.
I hadn’t known Beck long, but my body had apparently decided he was my personal security blanket. And my heart saw him as my forever. Considering how many times he’d mentioned getting me pregnant, and that we’d never used a condom, I wanted to assume he felt the same way. But I was too scared to ask.
His voice rumbled low and rough beneath my cheek. “You awake?”
“Mmm,” I hummed. “Thinking about going back to sleep. You make a really good pillow.”
He snorted and brushed his lips against the top of my head. “Good thing I haven't gone down for coffee yet. Figured you’d want it fresh.”
My eyes blinked open. “You waited?”
He shrugged as if it was no big deal. “Didn’t want it gettin’ cold if you were too busy hogging my bed to drink it.”
I twisted around to grin up at him. “That’s probably the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me first thing in the morning.”
His chest shook as he chuckled. “’Cause I’m the only man you’ve woken up next to.”
“Obviously.” I stretched and kissed his jaw before slipping out of bed. “Lead the way, caveman. Now that I’m up, coffee first. Then maybe I’ll forgive you for spanking me last night.”
“You enjoyed every second of it,” he muttered as he threw on a T-shirt and jeans.
Apparently worrying him meant getting spanked. Repeatedly. With zero regrets. On either of our parts.
When we got up to get dressed, I slipped on one of Beck’s T-shirts and tied it at the waist before pulling on a pair of snug jeans. His eyes raked over my outfit with heat and approval, making butterflies dance in my stomach. I was tempted to lure him back into bed, but I was starving, so we headed downstairs together. The clubhouse was already buzzing with quiet morning activity. A couple of men nodded to Beck as we passed, but most of the action was centered in the kitchen.
“There she is!” Dahlia called out, balancing a toddler on one hip while she stirred something on the stove. I met the club president’s wife yesterday and had been amazed by how easily she seemed to handle being the mom of twins. “You hungry? Or just in desperate need of caffeine like the rest of us?”
Her daughter toddled over to us and lifted her arms toward Beck. My heart melted when he bent low to pick up Violet and cradle her against his chest. Again, I was reminded of how he’d taken me without any protection. Every single time we’d had sex. And all the dirty talk about knocking me up.
We hadn’t even put a name to our relationship or shared our feelings with each other yet—at least not in the form of those three little words—but it was easy to picture Beck holding our daughter sometime in the future.
Shaking my head to dispel the image, I beamed a smile at Dahlia. “Both. Definitely both.”
“You’re in luck.” She handed Jett off to Fox after he strode into the kitchen. “Sadie left a few batches of cinnamon rolls in the fridge that I just had to pop in the oven.”
I licked my lips. “Yum.”
“Yummy,” Violet echoed, making me laugh.
“Sounds like I’m not the only one looking forward to a delicious breakfast.” I crossed the room to grab two mugs. After pouring coffee into both and adding cream to mine, I joined Beck at the table, where he had sat down with Violet on his lap.
“Thanks, baby.”
Dahlia slid a plate of cinnamon rolls on the table in front of us. “Aw, so sweet.”
“You sound like a sap,” Savage muttered from the doorway, earning a glare from Beck.
“Careful how much shit you give me,” Beck growled. “You know what they say about reaping what you sow.”
“Sure turned out that way for you,” Fox pointed out with a wide grin.
I mock-glared at Beck. “Why warn him when I’m the best darn thing that’s ever happened to you?”
Dahlia laughed. “She’s got you there.”
Savage looked smug until Beck brushed a kiss against my cheek and taunted, “You’d be lucky as fuck to find a woman half as incredible as mine.”
“Still sweet,” Dahlia murmured with a grin.
Savage shook his head as he stalked over to the coffee pot. “And so fucking weird since Phoenix isn’t known for his warm and cuddly personality.”
Dahlia’s smile disappeared when her daughter echoed, “Fuck.”
“Watch your mouth.” Fox slapped the back of Savage’s head.
“Sorry,” Savage muttered before keeping his mouth shut except for sipping his coffee and eating.
The rest of breakfast passed in a blur of caffeine, sticky fingers, and the kind of teasing that bounced from one end of the kitchen to the other. Nobody brought up business or me almost being kidnapped. Probably because we were all too busy cramming cinnamon rolls into our mouths to talk.
After the last roll disappeared and the kids toddled off for naps—or mayhem, depending on the family—we hung out with a couple of the guys and their pregnant wives in the great room. Beck didn’t say much, just held my hand and rubbed lazy circles against my palm with his thumb as though he couldn’t stand not touching me.
Later in the day, I kicked off my shoes and curled up sideways across the bed. He followed a second later, flopping down behind me and tugging me into his chest like I was the world’s most valuable possession. One hand slid under my shirt, resting warm and possessive on my stomach.
At some point, I must’ve dozed off. The next thing I knew, the light outside had shifted to darkness and Beck was stroking a hand down my back in slow, unhurried lines.
“Hey,” he said softly. “I have to head out for a bit.”
I rolled over to face him, blinking the sleep from my eyes. “Now? Where?”
“Club business. Nothing you need to worry about,” he reassured me.
I stared up at him, reading between the lines. He didn’t tell me anything more. I’d seen the time and location in the notebook. I knew where he was going.
“You want me to stay here,” I said slowly.
“You will stay here.” He cupped my cheek, his thumb tracing a soft line beneath my eye, softening the steel behind his order. “I’ll be back before you know it.”
“Beck…”
He claimed my mouth in a deep kiss, swallowing my words. “Gotta keep you safe. You’ve already been targeted once. I’m not risking it again.”
I swallowed hard and gave him a short nod even though every instinct I had screamed not to sit this one out.
He kissed me again, slow and lingering, then stood and grabbed his cut from the back of the chair.
“Be good,” he murmured. “I’ll be back before you know it.”
And just like that, he was gone.
I stayed in Beck’s room for about an hour after he left.
At first, I told myself I was doing what he asked. That I was being smart. Safe.
But the silence was deafening, and my thoughts were louder than ever. I stared at the notebook on the desk across the room like it might leap up and scream the truth at me.
I knew where he was going.
I’d decoded the location myself. I knew the exact time. I didn’t even need GPS to find it with how good my memory was.
My fingers curled into fists as I stood, spine straightening. I was the one who’d brought this problem to Beck. I wasn’t going to wait in a locked room like some princess in a tower while the people who hurt Paul—and tried to take me—walked free.
I understood why Beck wanted to protect me. But this wasn’t about reckless defiance.
It was about closure.
So I grabbed Beck’s extra cut and put it on over the shirt I’d borrowed this morning, then slipped into the hallway and closed the door behind me without a sound. The clubhouse was quieter now—muted voices from another room, the low hum of a TV.
I padded down the back staircase and went through a side door to the parking lot where my car was parked. I thought I was home free until I pulled up to the gate, and a prospect was staffing it.
He looked like I’d tossed him a live grenade when he spotted me in the driver’s seat. “I don’t know if I’m supposed to—uh—let you…I mean, Phoenix?—”
I forced a soft smile. “I just forgot something I promised to grab for Beck earlier. Figured I’d run home really quick, so he’s not going to be twice as grumpy tomorrow. Nobody wants that. Right?”
The kid paled. “No. Definitely not.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll be back before anyone even notices I’m gone.”
He hesitated for another second, then opened the gate with a heavy sigh.
I felt guilty for lying and hoped he didn’t get into trouble for letting me out of the compound, but it didn’t stop me from pulling onto the road with a single deep breath.
Twenty minutes later, I pulled into a gravel lot behind a strip of abandoned businesses on the edge of town. The windows were dark, the signage faded. Nothing looked active. But cars were clustered around one building in particular. Two men loitered near the side entrance, smoking.
My hands clenched around the steering wheel as I stared out the windshield. This might not have been my smartest move, but I already made it.
When Beck found me, he was going to be furious.
But I’d rather face his anger than live with the regret of sitting this one out. And if this gamble paid off, maybe I’d deliver answers this time.