Chapter 23 Keeley
TWENTY-THREE
KEELEY
It’s pathetic, but the entire time Nic’s gone, I mope. Even though I know he’ll be back later and will crawl into bed with me, I hate it.
I worry constantly about him and the other guys when they’re gone. Hunting. Looking for the man who wants me back.
So I do the only thing I can.
I keep busy.
The women are, as always, gathered in the bar. Toby’s missing, but that kid sleeps like a log. Everyone else is here, sitting behind the boarded-up windows. Seren’s playing on a mat next to their table even though there are still marks on the wall where the bullets hit only feet above her head.
It terrifies me. If anything happens to her—to any of them. I won’t survive it. I don’t care how many times Nic tells me this isn’t my fault, I would still blame myself.
I know the girls are worried too, even if they don’t show it. The club is in a lockdown, which apparently means no one comes in or out who isn’t approved by Nic. There’s more security around the building now and the guys are working so hard to find Demetri Morozov.
But every day that passes without a resolution only makes my fear grow.
What if this happens again, and next time we’re not as lucky?
I shove that thought down with ruthless efficiency and make my way over to them. For a split second, I brace, as if I expect them to attack me for causing this, but they don’t.
They never do.
“Where’ve you been?” Maylie asks. Theo’s asleep in his carrycot, looking like an angel even though everyone heard him screaming his lungs out at 3a.m.
I open my mouth to reply, but Dayna beats me to it. “Getting railed by our favourite president, obviously.”
Oh, fuck a duck. My face heats and I rub my temple to mask the fact I’m combusting at the table. “It’s too early for this.”
“It’s never too early, and you’ve been dodging us for days.” She leans in. “We need to talk about that moment.”
“What moment?”
“Um… the one where Nic threw you under him while bullets were flying.”
Chloe snorts, but it’s Maylie who says, “He covered you like you were protecting club secrets.”
All the girls are looking at me expectantly, and I’m not sure what answer they’re looking for. “Dash did the same to you,” I point out.
“I’m carrying his spawn,” Dayna say. “Of course he did.”
“Baby, not spawn,” Ivy corrects.
Dayna waves this off. “Potato, potata. Point is he saved you and don’t think we haven’t noticed he’s staying in your room.”
“His room,” I say, reaching for the bag of pastries I just noticed in the middle of the table and snag a croissant.
“I’ve never seen Nic like this before.” Maylie’s words settle somewhere warm and soft inside me.
There’s a comfort knowing I affect him as much as he does me. I like that others see it too, but I’m not giving them details of our relationship.
Or whatever this thing is between me and Nic.
It feels too early to call it that, but we’re sharing a bed every night. He woke me up this morning with a searing kiss while his fingers stroked through my folds.
But it’s only been a few weeks, and I don’t know what the future holds for us.
The only thing I do know is when I’m with him, I’m different… better.
“He’s smiling.” Ivy reaches down to stroke Seren’s head. “It’s weird.”
“Smiling is weird?” I ask.
“From one of these guys, yeah. It means only one thing,” Dayna tells the committee. “They’re both getting laid.” Her eyes sparkle as I die a little. “Please tell me he’s a machine in bed.”
Oh, somebody kill me right now. Why is this conversation happening after we just survived near death?
And why are they so invested in mine and Nic’s relationship?
“Nic definitely gives big dick energy.”
I blink at Makenna. Then blink again because, what? “Please stop talking about Nic’s dick.”
“Especially in front of the kids,” Maylie grinds out. “I’m going to start charging every time one of you swears.”
“No one has enough money for that,” Dayna says before she snaps her gaze to me. “We need this information, Keels. It’s a public service.”
I tear off a piece of croissant and pop it into my mouth. “For who?”
“Us. We’re bored. Lockdown sucks. I don’t have any books or entertainment here, so you’re it, I’m afraid.”
I glance around them, these women who have embraced me as one of them—even Chloe—and I sigh. “We’re… figuring stuff out.”
That’s not even remotely true, but there is no part of me that is telling these women more than that. Nic is completely in this. I am too, but there is still that small part of me that’s worried he might change his mind about us.
It’s stupid, especially when he looks at me the way he does, but old wounds run deep.
“Yeah,” Makenna drawls, “we heard you figuring stuff out two nights ago.”
Oh shitballs. I flush deeply at Makenna’s words and bury my face in my hands. “Kill me now.”
“It sounded like you were dying, but also like you’d figured it out,” she continues, pensive. “Twice.”
Nic had been between my legs two nights ago. His tongue doing this little swirl that—
Nope. Stop before you die of embarrassment. “Can we change the subject? I’ll beg if necessary.”
Dayna scowls. “Fine. Keep your secrets.”
I chuckle at how annoyed she is. It’s so strange how my world has narrowed to this room, this building, and this war between two men—one who is fighting to protect the people he loves and the other who doesn’t care about destroying that.
“My mum wants me to come home.” Chloe’s words cut through the easy mood like a razor blade.
I don’t know all of her history, but I know trauma when I see it, and Chloe wears hers like an oversized coat.
I wait for one of the others to say something, but they seem as rattled as I am.
Finally, Maylie is the one who speaks. “What did you say?” she asks.
Chloe fidgets with bandages around her wrists. “Nothing. I don’t know how to go home,” she admits. “How do you stand in front of someone you said you hated and act like everything is fine? I don’t know how to be her daughter again. Not after everything.”
Maylie’s expression softens, and she glances at Ivy, a look passing between the sisters that I guess doesn’t need words. “Honey, she’s your mother. Whatever happened between you, I can tell you now, she doesn’t care. She wouldn’t ask you to come home if she did.”
“I treated her so badly though. None of you were here when my mum came for me and you didn’t see the way I treated her. Sometimes I think what happened to me was karma.”
The women all talk over each other, trying to reassure her while I’m trying to piece together what happened.
“We’ve all fucked up,” Dayna says and the others fall quiet.
“If you want horror stories, I have plenty. I’ve done a lot of things over the years I’m not proud of.
Slept with people who meant nothing just to feel alive, made decisions that were reckless because I didn’t feel I was worth anything.
And now look at me. Knocked up and in a healthy consensual adult relationship with a man who makes my life better in every way. ”
Dayna grabs her hand, knocking over the bag of pastries.
“This isn’t the end of your story, Chloe. It’s the beginning. So go home, see your mum. Cry until you’re snotty and blotchy and tell her you’re sorry if it helps you to move on. We’ll still be here when you’re ready to come back.”
Chloe swipes at a tear as it rolls down her cheek. “I came here to find my dad.”
I glance between the women. Her dad? Chloe sees my face. “My mum never knew who he was, only that he was club. Trying to figure that out is how I ended up with… him.”
Crank. Right. I know that part of the story. Chloe was young, impressionable, and he used her.
Hurt her, from what I’ve gathered.
The fact she only came here to find her father makes it even more tragic.
“Oh.” Oh? That’s all you’ve got? Great job Keeley. Say something else. “That’s…”
Nope, I got nothing.
“It felt so important to know that, and now? I don’t know if I need to know anymore.” Chloe blinks her tears away, dabbing under her eyes. “I don’t even know if they’re still alive.”
“Girl. Honeybunches. Go home. Talk to your mum and when you come back, if you want to know, we’ll help you figure it out.” Dayna wipes Chloe’s tears away. “I’m like a bloodhound. Years of watching true crime and thrillers—I can solve any mystery.”
“I don’t…” Chloe breaks then tries again. “I don’t think I care. I came here looking for somewhere I belonged, and I found it.”
“Damn right you did,” Dayna says, palming her belly. “And hey, we’ve all got daddy issues. Mine’s in jail.”
Ivy and Maylie exchange glances. “Our sperm donor left our mother while she was fighting terminal cancer.”
“Maylie raised me and Toby because of it,” Ivy adds.
“And she worked in a strip bar,” Dayna whispers this like it is classified information.
“I worked behind the bar, not the stage,” Maylie scowls at her, “Not that there’s any shame in dancing, Dayna.”
“Not for other people. You have zero rhythm and concrete hips. No one with eyes should have to witness that.”
Ivy laughs. Makenna too. I join and it feels good to let go, even just for a second.
“My parents were…” Makenna’s eyes widen a second like there’s no way to soften it. “Shit heads.”
Dayna claps her shoulder. “Welcome to the club no one asked to be a part of.”
Everyone looks at me. “I can’t play. My dad was great?”
“Really?” Dayna sounds surprised.
“No, he was a dick,” I say. “He made my brother after all.”
Maylie grabs Chloe’s hand over the table. “You don’t need to find your father unless you want to. You’ll still have a place here with us.”
“Thanks, May.”
I stare at Chloe for a moment, tracing the lines of her face, the slope of her nose, her mouth.
Her eyes are different, and the shape of her jaw is softer, but if I squint, I can Nic in her.
I think.
I don’t know.
Maybe my brain is filling in things that don’t exist. I squint again and lose the resemblance.
Huh.
I’m probably just seeing Nic’s face everywhere because I’m stupidly obsessed with the man.
And I miss him.
Even though he’s only been gone a few hours.
“You know you have a place here too, right?”
It takes me a second to realise Dayna’s speaking to me. “I—What?”
“Even if things don’t work out with you and Nic—which is highly unlikely when he stalks you every time you walk into a room—you still belong here.”
“Yeah, screw Nic. You’re ours. We’ve adopted you,” Ivy says.
The other women nod, even Chloe.
I blink back the tears that are threatening to fall. “What if I don’t want to be adopted? You guys are batshit crazy.”
Maylie snorts so loud that Theo lets out a startled grunt. She soothes him back to sleep.
“Yeah,” Dayna agrees, smirking. “That’s why you fit in.”
I open my mouth to fire back something, but the door opens, and he steps inside. He’s mid conversation with Mace, but his eyes automatically find mine. Every inch of my body lights up at the way he looks at me, like he’s searching for new wounds and undressing me at the same time.
I don’t stop to consider how it might look in front of his brothers. I’m already out of my seat and crossing the room. As soon as I’m close enough, I bury my face in his chest.
Then I take a breath for the first time in hours. His arms come around me without hesitation. He notches my head under his chin after pressing a kiss into my hair.
“Somethin’ happen?”
I shake my head against his chest, not letting even an inch of space between us.
He peels me back, and reluctantly I let him. “Talk to me.”
“I missed you.” I hate to admit it. I don’t want to be a clingy partner, but the way his eyes darken and heat tells me he doesn’t mind.
He cups my face, and the room behind me disappears until all I can focus on is him.
“Oh, sunshine, I missed you too.”
I suddenly realise I can smell the faint scent of burning on his clothes. I want to ask him what he’s been doing, but I can already guess. Morozov shot up his clubhouse, and Nic retaliated.
With fire.
Shit.
“Busy day?” I hedge, even though I don’t want the answer.
He hums in the back of his throat. “All I wanted to do was get back here to you.”
I should push, but I don’t because he tilts my chin up with two fingers, his eyes scanning my face and I melt like cheap wax.
He drops his gaze deliberately to my mouth, and heat blooms in my belly as he pulls me in by the hip to kiss me. It’s not soft or unsure. It’s designed to brand my mouth. I melt against him, relief that he’s here and unhurt, making my body boneless in his arms.
My body lights up the way I’m starting to recognise only happens when he’s touching me. It’s urgency and heat and the way he claims every part of me.
When he finally pulls back, my heart is racing, but I feel calmer.
“How long until this is over?”
How long until we can start to live again without fear hanging over us?
“Soon.” It’s not an answer, but I don’t push for one either.
I cling to his kutte, scared to let go. “Whatever you’re doing please be careful. I don’t want to lose you.”
He kisses me so softly it chokes my throat. “I’m not going anywhere, Keeley. They could send me to the depths of hell, and I’d still find my way back to you.”
I am so gone for this man, because I would also claw my way out of any hellhole to get back to him. Including whatever plan Demetri Morozov has for me.