Chapter 24
Niamh
The beeping of a machine wakes me, and I instantly know I’m in a hospital. My vision is blurred but I can just about make out a few figures sitting to the side of me. At first, I just think about the fact I can’t see properly, but then it all comes flooding back to me – Robert, the fire, Warren. As soon as I recall the shallowness of his breath when I was lying next to him in that hallway, I begin to panic, and the tears come thick and fast. I reach out to the people who I believe to be Jake and possibly Lou, or his uncle, I still cannot tell for sure.
“Hey, hey, Niamh, calm down,” Jake’s voice flows out in soft waves between us, but it does not succeed in soothing away my fears.
“Warren,” I try to say, but it comes out in a cough and a barely-there voice. My entire throat burns so I grab at my neck to try and soothe it.
“Is awake,” Lou now says from beside him, her teeth flashing in a blurry smile. I blink away my sleep, rub my eyes, and try to focus once more. I then open them to discover I can see, almost as well as normal, only my eyes still feel incredibly dry. Looking up, I see Jake, who is dressed in his clothes from last night, alongside Lou and her husband, Daniel. They all appear to be happy to see me awake but I can’t help wondering why they aren’t with Warren. Is he really ok? What are they not telling me? The thought has me releasing gut-wrenching sobs that prompt Jake to rush to my side.
“What’s wrong with him? Why aren’t you with him? What are you not telling me?” I whimper.
“Niamh, Phoenix is fine, he’s just talking with Javier,” Lou reassures me before leaning in and lowering her voice, “you know, about what to do with Robert.”
“Oh, God,” I rush out, beginning to panic even harder, “do the police know? Am I in trouble?”
“No, no,” Jake says resolutely, “hence why we’ve been kicked out of his room. Javier has taken care of it; Robert is no longer a problem for you, me, or anybody.”
We take a few moments to just look at one another, letting that information sink in with a whole range of emotions. I notice Jake shed a few tears, even if he does try to brush them away with the back of his hand before anyone can see.
“He’s gone, Niamh, you fought back, and you won,” he whispers, being the only person in this room who can truly understand what that means for both of us. “We never have to look over our shoulders for him again. You are so fucking brave, Niamh!”
“I-I am?” My voice crackles through my tears, but I begin to calm down to the point whereby I can now feel his hand clutching hold of mine. It forces me to look down to where they’re interlinked, to where I can see the beautiful ruby ring Warren had gifted me just a few days ago. “Wait, so, I get to live happily ever after?”
“Yes,” he laughs, and I smile with him. “Yes, you get to live happily ever after as a fellow Flynn.”
“You’ll fit right in, Niamh,” Lou says with a smile from behind Jake.
“I will?” I ask as I wipe away at my wet cheeks.
“This family is full of strong women,” her husband, Daniel says, “even if this one is a Hunter now.”
“I know my mom would have been so proud to have you as her daughter-in-law,” Lou says, looking a little sad, for she never got to know her. “After all, she was one hell of a strong lady herself.”
“She was,” I agree. “She sacrificed herself for both of you.”
“Just like you were willing to do last night,” Lou says, now tearing up over the thought of losing her brother. “You saved both my brothers, Niamh, in more ways than one. I will always be grateful to you for that.”
“Please, can I see him? I need to see him, I need to know he’s ok,” I practically beg.
“Er…the nurse is a little formidable and she was quite adamant—"
“Where’s my future wife?” Warren cuts Jake off, and with the most delicious smile I’ve ever seen. Sitting in a wheelchair, being pushed by another mountain of a man, Javier and he look a little comical.
“She’s here,” I declare as I reach out for him. Javier wheels him over so he can pull himself up onto the bed and hold my quivering body against his.
“You crying for me, baby?”
“I almost lost you,” I utter as I continue crying against his chest, enjoying the feel of his warm arms around me, always heating me up from the inside.
“No, not with my girl on my side,” he murmurs, now stroking my hair. “I have too much to live for now; there’s no way in hell I was going to go without a fight.”
I look up to see his beautiful face and smile, letting him wipe away my tears with his thumbs.
“You saved me, Niamh,” he whispers, “you saved the boy in me too. Do you have any idea what that means to me? You’re my hero, baby.”
“You save me, I save you,” I tell him, and he kisses me. “I will always save you; I love you.”
“Not as much as I love you.”
_____
Warren
As I look at the wreck of what used to be the bar, I feel a torrent of emotions. The funny thing is, I don’t feel at all devastated or pained over what I’ve lost here. I only feel hurt for my family, for Lou, and for Jake. This bar has been my life, my world, for years, and yet, I had no idea how much it was holding me captive here. The smell of stale beer, sweat, the men’s bathroom, and death. My father died in this bar, Javier and Antonio brought back the blood of their murdered parents to this bar, and Lou’s heart broke in this bar. And I don’t want it anymore.
“I found something,” a small voice says from behind me, my sister’s voice. I nod as I remain crouched down low, then eventually get to my feet and go to follow her. She leads me over to a small pile of singed picture frames, most of which are completely destroyed. “It’s the only one left.”
She hands me a picture of my parents, both sitting on my bike that was once Dad’s. They’re laughing and holding hands, looking completely smitten with each other. It can’t have been long after they got together; they’re both so young. I can’t help but stare at them, taking in their smiles and their love for one another. Even when I hear the sound of Jake walking up alongside me, I can’t help but keep my eyes on them.
“Your mother was beautiful,” Jake mumbles.
“Yeah, that’s why I’m so much better looking than you,” I tease, earning me a small laugh.
“I wish I had known her,” Lou says as she rests her head against my shoulder. “I remember nothing of her.”
“You were barely one, Lou, when…when it happened,” I trail off into a whisper. “Can’t believe it’s finally done.”
“I’m sorry, Phoenix,” Lou says sadly.
“Actually, I’m not,” I tell her truthfully, “in fact, I think this is exactly what was needed to finally set me free. I can start again with Niamh; we can start again.”
“Really?” Jake asks with the sound of shock in his voice.
“Yeah,” I reply, smiling easily, like I do when I’m with Niamh and she sees me for who I really am. “And call me Warren. It’s time to let Phoenix go, he’s flown the building…or the pile of ashes,” I tell them, gesturing to the burnt rubble all around us.
“Well, big brother, Warren, we best get you to your new life,” Lou says, straightening up my suit, which feels uncomfortable. But it is my wedding day, and for Niamh, I’ll do anything.
_____
Niamh
“You look beautiful, Niamh,” Dad says to me, dressed in his suit and offering me his arm. Once upon a time, I would have shied away from the contact, but after everything, I take it without question. He smiles proudly and with what looks like a little relief.
“I never thought this day would come for me, not after…” I trail off, wanting to leave all bad memories behind on this particular day. This day is mine and Warren’s future, the beginning of a new life.
“I know, dear, but…” Dad says sadly, then looks back up at me with a smile. “You know, before, if I had seen who you were about to marry, I would have been a little worried. But now I couldn’t be happier. I know he will look after you, that he loves you, and that’s all you can hope for, especially for your one and only child. You two deserve one another and I know you’ll make great parents one day.”
“Dad, one step at a time?” I laugh. “I’m freaking out over walking down the aisle, let alone having babies.”
“I’m sorry, I’m just so excited for you,” he says, “you had so much taken away from you. We all did—"
“Not today, Paul,” Mom flusters at my father, “today, we leave all of that behind.”
“Let’s get going,” I tell them. “Believe it or not, Warren will be freaking out more than me. He might be a mountain of a man who has faced terrifying people, but this is way out of his comfort zone. Besides, we don’t want to risk the tide coming in.”
“Righto,” Dad announces, putting his best foot forward.
_____
Niamh
Dad walks me through the seaside restaurant that Warren purchased shortly after that horrible evening when we both nearly lost our lives. We are much closer to Lou and Daniel, and I know he feels a lot calmer here, we both do. The fresh sea air clears away any thoughts of fire for him while giving me the open space I need to squash any memories of that dark and dank basement. I might not want to immerse myself in the busy city, which lies not too far away, but I know I am a lot better than I once was.
As for the bar, I know he went to the site today, to have one more look before the place is cleared for development. Just in case there was anything left behind. He has no regrets, but I think he does feel pangs of guilt every now and then. I hope for his sake they eventually go with time.
There are no customers today as we’ve closed for our wedding day. Jake is training to be a chef, alongside our head chef, Marco. I’ve learned to be more comfortable with him, but it took a while, simply because he’s a stranger. Lou is four months pregnant, while Izzie welcomed a baby girl a couple of weeks ago. Both she and her husband, Theo, look exhausted, but so happy. And to help them out, I go to walk Stella once a day, aka my go-to therapist. I might even get myself my own dog one day.
As I reach the top of the aisle, breathing through the anxiety of having lots of pairs of eyes on me, I reach out for Warren’s hand, and he turns to face me with a beaming smile. He looks as relieved as I do to finally be here together, making promises to love one another through thick and thin, like we already have been. The officiant begins the ceremony, but I don’t listen straight away. Something has caught my eye, a single cloud, one with no particular shape to anyone else but me. To me, it’s Stanley. Tammy was wrong that day, Stanley isn’t a silly childhood myth, he’s real. He’s always been real to me, perhaps not physically, but in my mind, he’s kept me going through everything. Even on the worst of days in that basement, in my terrifying nightmares, even in the most dangerous of situations, he has always been there. Why should he not be here on my wedding day?
“What are you looking at, Niamh?” Warren leans in to whisper inside my ear and I giggle. He pulls back and smiles with his teeth and dimples.
“Stanley,” I whisper back, and point to the cloud behind him, “my other hero.”
“Looks like a blob,” he laughs.
“That’s ok,” I smile back at him, “I can see him for the both of us.”
“Don’t ever change, baby,” he whispers before kissing me, “I love you, all of you, even Stanley.”
“And I love you, Warren.”
Epilogue
Warren
Cradling this small human being inside of my arms, which feel much too big to be doing such a thing, I can’t help rocking him from side to side. It just seems to be the natural thing to do. I never thought this would happen to me, that I would be this lucky to have a beautiful wife who I am so in love with; I sometimes have to pinch myself to make sure she’s real. Being the Phoenix felt like a curse for most of my life; it had come from something that plagued my nightmares and my every waking thought. But had it not been for the Phoenix I had become, I never would have met my dragon, my soulmate, my Niamh. And now she has given me the most precious gift of all, a son. More than that, she’s given me a new purpose to live for.
“Warren,” she whispers as she sneaks in to see what is taking me so long to put our child to bed. Parents find the lack of sleep almost torturous in these first few months, but I’ve never slept that well. I was lucky if I could get more than a couple of hours without waking up in a sheen of sweat and my mother’s name upon my lips. In fact, I think it’s fair to say that since having Riley, I’ve never slept so soundly.
“Warren, he’s sound asleep, what are you doing?” she asks with a soft giggle, one that is a million miles away from the frightened ghost of a girl I met on that stormy night.
“Just watching him” I reply with a contented smile. “Can you believe I was once this small?”
“No,” she says without a breath, making us both laugh.
“Apparently I was a dinky little thing,” I tell her truthfully, “less than six pounds.”
“Aw, that’s so cute,” she teases as I place our precious bundle inside of his bassinet.
“And now?”
“Still cute,” she laughs as I take her inside my arms, raising my brow over her sass. Sass. I love that she now has sass. I like to think I gave her that sass.
“But also manly, right?”
“Sure,” she says, shrugging her shoulders and walking toward the door, so I rush out to follow, ready to do a little teasing of my own.
“Oh, really?” I question as we pull the door to on our son, leaving it open so we can always hear him. She simply shrugs again before offering a taunting grin. “I’ll show you manly, baby.”
Without another word, I haul her over my shoulder and begin marching us toward our bedroom just next door, all the while she laughs. I then let her down on our bed and begin pulling off my clothes, enjoying the look on her face as she watches intently. We’ve only just started having sex again, since the birth of Riley, and we sure as hell have been making up for it. I guess being able to withstand the sleepless nights works out well for both of us. She knows I’ll see to him during the night, and I get my beautiful, sexy wife wanting my body again. We’re a team, her and I, and I couldn’t ask for anything more.
“You gonna strip for me, baby, or do you want the Phoenix treatment?” I ask with a devious smirk on my face.
“Well, seeing as you’re being ‘manly’ and all, I guess I should go for the Phoenix,” she says, using her foot to keep me back for just a moment; she can see the hunger in my eyes. She also knows that when she removes that foot from my chest, her little summer dress is going to be ripped to shreds. Panties too. “Just watch the chest, Warren, these bad boys are extremely sensitive.”
“Nah-ah, you have to call me Phoenix tonight,” I utter as she removes her foot and I move in toward her ear. “Of course.”
“Good boy,” she teases, “Phoenix.”
“Showtime,” I whisper before the fun begins.
_____
Niamh
When I lie Riley down for bed, I take a moment to look out over the ocean, the backdrop to our small house that sits a stone’s throw from the sandy beaches that bring in plenty of tourists for our humble beachside restaurant. An entirely different clientele from Warren’s desert bar, but still with plenty of life and an already healthy set of locals to keep us afloat even outside of tourist season.
But now we are closed for a few days while Javier is visiting. One of the most dangerous men in the state has been cooing over our son for three days now, as well as teasing my husband over his newfound life. A life filled with love and happiness. Fairytales and rainbows. A life that’s enough for him? I worry he sometimes craves what he once had. The danger, the excitement, the thirst for blood…the money perhaps.
“You are worrying, sister,” a familiar voice rumbles across the room, making me instantly smile, even without seeing his face. “You have always chewed on your thumbnail when you are worried.”
“You think you know me so well, huh?” I grin as I turn around because he does, more than anyone, except Warren. As I turn to face him, my smile drops when I see him standing there with his passport in his hand. He knows I’ve seen it which is why he offers me a sheepish smile. “You’re leaving?”
“For a little while,” he admits, looking sad, so I go to him and wrap my arms around his shoulders. A flashback of the nights we spent locked in the basement enters my head; I’ll never be rid of them, that trauma shaped my life. His too.
“Any reason why?” I ask, even though I think I already know. I’ve seen the reason in his eyes for many months now.
“Hold that question a moment, I think I know why that thumbnail is taking a beating tonight,” he says with a smug, knowing smirk on his face. I momentarily break my frown and follow him into the living room where you can just about hear Warren and Javier chatting over their beer bottles. “I’ve had some suspicions of late, of your fear, so I called in a favor from your house guest. Now, appreciate this, Niamh, because the shit I got from Javier was embarrassing.”
I try not to laugh when I watch Jake throw a coin outside, an indicator, he tells me, for Javier to show me whatever it is. Warren doesn’t even bat an eye, just continues looking out at the expanse of water that is extremely calm tonight.
“So,” Javier begins, coughing uncomfortably, which sounds strange coming from him, “I know you’re now Mr family man now, but if I were to say I had a job with your name written on it, a job that would mean you could shut up shop and live an extremely comfortable life with your wife and kid, what would you say, mi amigo? For old time’s sake if nothing else.”
I hold my breath, watching Warren as he slowly lifts his beer bottle to his lips and takes a healthy gulp; he doesn’t even take his eyes off the water. Is he thinking about it? Seriously?
Eventually, when that large gulp of beer has trickled down his throat, he releases a sigh. I know that sigh, it’s one that tells me he’s feeling extremely irritated.
“You really think I would risk everything I have for any of that shit? Do you really think I would lie to my wife, my child, to return to that life? Do you think I could look at myself in the mirror if I chose to do this? After everything?”
I clutch hold of Jake’s hand as I listen to his voice becoming more strained, his teeth clenching together as his anger turns into a red mist of rage.
“I take it that’s a no?” Javier replies before releasing his usual laid-back laughter.
“Of course it’s a fucking no, and if you ever bring it up again, I might have myself a new target, you six-foot bastard!”
This has Javier bursting into a fit of laughter, tipping his head back, which eventually has Warren cracking his tension with a smile. And finally, I release the breath I’ve been holding.
“See?” Jake says smugly and I nudge him like any sister would.
“Ok, now you,” I begin as I thread my arm through his and lead him outside.
“Come on, Niamh, you already know the answer to your earlier question,” he says as we approach the guys outside, all tension dissipated. They look up at us and Warren holds out his hand for me, so I immediately go to him, curling myself up on his lap and basking in the knowledge that I’m enough. Riley and I are really all he needs.
“You should know you are all I’ve ever needed,” Warren whispers inside my ear and I look at him with shock and humility. Luckily, all he does is smile and kiss me on the tip of my nose.
“How did you know?” I cannot help but ask.
“Javier’s cough,” Warren replies matter of factly, “he’s always been a terrible liar with me.”
Javier and Jake laugh softly at the same time as Warren takes my chin between his finger and thumb and forces me to look at him, and only him.
“You and Riley are my life,” he says, and I nod in understanding, finally convinced of that fact. I kiss him and cuddle that little bit closer to him.
“Welp, I guess this is it for a while, brother and sister,” Jake says. “Christ, that sounds weird.”
“Si,” Javier confirms while nodding.
“When will you come back?” I ask with fear in my voice. We’ve gone years without seeing each other before but now that we’ve found each other again, I’m not ready to let him go again.
“Niamh, I found you, my brother, my sister, even this scary-ass bastard,” he says, to which Javier tips his head back and laughs again. “What I haven’t found is myself. I have no idea who I am, Niamh.”
“I know,” I whisper, my eyes filling with tears for him. I’ve seen how lost he’s been, and it’s hardly surprising. We were both traumatized by our past, but I found my strength in Warren, and in the family we’ve created. “You always had to look after me before yourself, Jake. I knew you wouldn’t look to find yourself until you’d saved me first.”
“You don’t need me to save you anymore, Niamh,” he says, and I nod because he’s right. I need to let him go, to go and find himself.
I get up from Warren’s lap, with him standing behind me, ready to let our brother go and search for his truth, his life, and perhaps his own love. I’ve never known Jake to have any sort of relationship with anyone. He’s never mentioned girls, boys, or anyone he’s even remotely interested in; he’s never been in a place to accept any of that. As much as I was still lost in that basement, years after we escaped, so was he. And he’s still there, still suffering.
Warren embraces him first, tapping him on the back with his large hands. Javier follows suit before they both leave us alone. When we look at one another, the tears hit us both and we fall into an embrace that feels so familiar but also so final.
“You come back; you hear?” I whisper before we pull apart.
“Of course, Niamh, someone has to teach Riley how to be cool,” he laughs, then kisses my head and steps back. “Now, let me walk away, Niamh, with no more words. I’ll send postcards.”
“Take care,” I tell him, “and know how much I love you; you saved my life…many times.”
“I love you too.”
_____
Warren
My wife is chewing her thumbnail; she’s still worried about Jake. I hold her tight, trying to soothe her fears away. I’m not worried about my brother; I know this is what he needs to do. In fact, I would be more worried if he tried to carry on the way he has been. Jake’s tough; he’s a Flynn after all.
“Warren?” she asks, and I kiss her shoulder in response. “I think I’d like to go back to school one day. Does that sound crazy?”
“Not at all, babe,” I tell her with conviction, “you deserve to after it was stolen from you. You’re smart; I bet you would have achieved great things if you hadn’t been…you know.”
“I like to think so,” she says, turning over to face me. “I’m just afraid I’ll feel old next to all the kids who are fresh out of high school.”
“Niamh, you’re still extremely young and hot…a hot mama,” I tease and she pushes at my chest with a laugh that never gets old. “What do you wanna study?”
“I dunno,” she says with a shrug, “I don’t think it really matters. Just that I can now.”
“Then I can’t think of a better reason,” I tell her as I lean over to kiss her intimately. “So long as you don’t want to try and live out the whole dating scene. You’re mine now.”
“I’ll always be yours,” she whispers, “and you’ll always be mine. There’s no getting rid of one another now.”
“Thank God!”
This woman saved my life. In fact, she saved my life by letting me save hers.
She let me do what I couldn’t do for Mom or Dad. If there is a heaven, then I hope they are both looking down, seeing the Phoenix become their son again.
The son who was meant to fall in love so deeply, he only needs that to live happily ever after.