2. Luka
CHAPTER 2
LUKA
“Oh, fuck!” I grunted before lunging forward and catching the lithe man in my arms.
After B explained what we wanted, I hoped like hell the truth of what B and I asked for would tempt Phoenix. But the worry grew as I watched him become lost in his thoughts for several minutes, as though he needed time to decipher our words.
His eyes unfocused while his breathing became choppy, and his fists clenched and unclenched at his sides. When he moved, for a heart stopping moment, I expected he’d run. Instead, he paced back and forth until, on what seemed a thousandth pass; he stood still.
Then he surprised both of us.
My heart stopped in my chest when Phoenix’s eyes rolled up in his head and he went limp. Although I’d been close enough to prevent him from hitting the floor, my arms felt feeble from the shock as I held on tight. I cradled him against me and breathed a sigh of relief at the rapid pulse I spotted on his neck.
B hovered over us as I carried Phoenix toward the couch in the living room. All my instincts screamed at me not to put distance between us, so I lowered myself onto the couch and cradled Phoenix on my lap.
“What happened?” B asked. He sat next to us before he maneuvered his knee on the couch, pressing his leg to my thigh so he could lean close to Phoenix and brush a finger down his cheek.
I smoothed back the soft hair that fell onto his forehead as I studied the younger man’s face.
His features were relaxed; beautiful plush lips were a lovely shade pink, the soft skin along his sharp jawline and elongated neck made me want to nuzzle my beard or my lips against it, but it was the dark circles underneath his eyes that informed me on how hard this man worked.
“Either he had a panic attack or he’s worked himself into exhaustion.”
Before I’d laid eyes on Phoenix, I determined B was the perfect man. Athletic build, sandy blond hair he didn’t bother to tame on most days, and muscles from our early years of working outside as we built our business into the successful one we had today.
These days, we hired people for the manual labor while B worked with me as we designed landscapes for residential and commercial projects. But he worked out in our home gym at least five days a week, which kept him in peak physical condition.
Not that B lost any appeal since Phoenix came into our lives. My desire for the man had grown with the need to claim Phoenix as ours. The tight lid I put on my hunger for the man; especially with the knowledge of how he felt driving into me, holding me and kissing me as we found release together, broke open when I realized Phoenix captured B’s attention.
The morning it all changed for the two of us started with a simple business meeting.
We agreed to join Hale Aalto at a bakery we’d never heard of, Phoenix Rising. It was an odd name for a cafe and bakery, but Hale was an important commercial developer and we were bidding to be the landscape architects of several of his properties, so if he wanted to meet at an out of the way coffee shop, we would accommodate him.
But once we arrived, a sense of comfort washed over me, and I knew I’d found my new favorite place.
As you walked in, the bright white walls brought out the lush oasis inside. Indoor plants were hanging in front of the windows, placed on shelves in between books, baubles, and framed paintings along with sketches and drawings, and in colossal pots in the corners and next to the plush chairs and sofas. Each round table contained a coffee plant or a philodendron in a bright pastel hued pot. There were enormous bay windows on the south and west side of the building, which allowed in ample sunlight, and since the doors were open on one of Boston’s beautiful summer days, the ocean breeze drifted in and added to the ambience of the place.
The amazing, one-of-a-kind layout had me glancing around in wonder at the same time B noticed Phoenix.
“Fucking A, Luka. Have you ever seen anyone as perfect as he is?”
My attention snapped to B before I followed his gaze toward the glass bakery display. Unable to see anyone other than a customer who shouldn’t have drawn B’s attention, I opened my mouth to chastise him when a magnificent creature with bright white hair tied in a bun popped up with a smile as he handed over a bakery bag before disappearing through the swinging doors into the kitchen.
Stunned stupid, I stared at the closed door, willing the man to walk back through. It took a sharp elbow in my side to draw my eyes away and back onto my best friend, who stood with his arms crossed and a raised eyebrow.
“Um.”
B’s face broke into a huge grin as he slugged me in the chest.
I huffed and growled out, “Why B? Don’t your tastes run toward women?”
His face softened and with concern, he asked, “Did I hurt you, Luka?”
“No, B, that’s not it, I understood. I still understand. But…” My eyes darted toward the still kitchen door and said, “your reaction to the man is surprising, isn’t it?”
“Both yes and no, I think. The part of me who has craved a relationship and the possibilities of forever woke up the second that gorgeous man came into view and, based on your reaction to him, the picture only becomes clearer.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, still unable to admit to myself what I hoped he would say.
B shrugged and said, “We do everything together, Luka. For me, it isn’t surprising we’d experience the same attraction toward the same person. And before you start on the argument about my usual preference, I was young and ignorant when I told you I was only interested in women. Being with you scared me because the last thing I wanted was to jeopardize our friendship, so I took the chickenshit way out. However, as I’ve matured and gained wisdom, I’ve realized that what we need is a shakeup. He’s our catalyst for change.”
The white-haired, lithe man exited the kitchen with a massive tray of desserts and maneuvered it with skill into the bakery case before heading back for more.
“We can’t scare him off,” B said.
It was as serious as B’s ever sounded.
“I want to make sure we agree. You and I want an exclusive, romantic relationship with that beautiful and shy man. Not just sex, right?”
“Yes?”
“What?” I asked.
“I…” B trailed off and bit his bottom lip, thinking.
Even as I held him in my arms, I still didn’t know if Phoenix wanted a relationship with two men, much less if he found us appealing. But whatever answer Phoenix gave us, it would never drive a wedge between me and B.
Thinking back on that day, what I was unprepared for was B’s honest desires coming through, especially without talking to or knowing what Phoenix wanted.
“I want a commitment between all three of us where I get to touch you, too.”
A shift in our relationship became clear with his admission, so when I reached out and rubbed his back, a thrill ran through me when he leaned into my side and smiled up at me.
Every morning since, we arrived at our favorite bakery after the rush of people had come and gone.
We noted Phoenix hovered around the front counter when there weren’t as many people as he talked and laughed with the man who we learned today was his best friend, Arthur.
We watched on without making a move and I taught myself the meanings behind each smile, and noted the things that made him happy; baking delicious creations and digging his hands into the soil as he repotted a new plant before finding a spot for it.
By the second week, I concluded Phoenix was an introvert; he had abundant energy when working in the kitchen or watering his plants, but he limited himself with social interactions. They seemed to tire him. He didn’t leave any space where someone he didn’t know could start conversing with him, and despite that, both B and I noticed he studied us whenever we stopped by.
The glances were never overt, and we never caught him, which made me hesitate whenever B suggested we approach him. We perceived his eyes on us, but when we looked, his gaze focused elsewhere. Despite having no reassurance that he would welcome our attention, we still hoped. And he all but confirmed it this afternoon when he blurted out he thought we were a couple.
I was watching his face, and I noticed when his eyes darted behind his closed lids.
“He’s waking up.”
B hovered closer, his leg shaking up and down as he nibbled on his thumbnail, a nervous habit from as far back as I remembered. When Phoenix blinked, he focused on me and then moved over to B when the man stuck his face against my cheek, and his lips tilted up in a soft smile.
Trying not to scare the man off, I dropped my voice to a whisper, which still rumbled when I spoke. “Are you okay, Sunshine?”
He nodded as his smile grew. “Yeah, why? My usual dreams begin with us already naked, and not sitting anywhere near a couch, but both of you are here, so, yeah, I’m good.”
“Hmmm, Petal, I’m happy to tell you this is real. You’re in Luka’s arms and while we’d love nothing but to get naked with you, all the blinds are open and our neighbors are nosy, yet hate to be scandalized. Hypocrites,” B said.
I growled and said, “No one else besides you and me B will see Phoenix naked. Ever!”
When Phoenix’s long, elegant fingers trailed from the side of my neck and down my clothed chest, a shiver of desire slammed into me, leaving me gasping for breath.
It was the first time he initiated contact.
When he opened his hand over my chest and pressed his ear against me to listen to my heart, I caressed his back as his body sagged against mine.
That was until he gasped and almost fell out of my lap.
“What?” I searched for any danger lurking nearby.
When I determined we were alone, my eyes went back to Phoenix, who was gnawing his lip, hands clenched in his lap. With jerky motions, Phoenix’s eyes jumped from one spot to another in the living room.
“Hey, Sunshine, you’re okay. You are safe. B and I promise we would never hurt you.”
His entire being froze as he held himself rigid on my lap. Then, in a performance that would have given Linda Blair stiff competition for the scariest expression, his head turned with excruciating slowness until his bright blue eyes narrowed on me. I heard the smack on my shoulder, the light sensation not registering because of the fear rushing through me.
“Luka?”
“Yeah, Sunshine?”
“When Burton issued the invite to spend the afternoon with both of you, I shook with anticipation. The last thing I feel, with either of you, is fear. Got it?”
With a stiff nod, I answered, “Loud and clear.”
Before I could ask him if he was okay, B sat as close to me as he could manage and maneuvered Phoenix until his upper body rested against B’s chest. I draped my massive hands over his legs, keeping in contact with him while savoring his warmth through the thin fabric.
“Not to sound indelicate, but I will, since I don’t have a subtle bone in my body. But why did you pass out?” B asked.
Another growl passed through my lips, but Phoenix reached for my hand and squeezed, making me relax back into the cushions.
“As unbelievable as it may sometimes seem, I am a capable man. But along with it comes extreme introverted tendencies and the remnants from my childhood growing up with an overbearing, bullying father and a stepmother who wasn’t interested in having children in her life,” he paused, gathering his thoughts before he continued, “my personality and the way I need time to get used to new situations, my mind… well, how do I explain this?”
Brushing a strand of hair away from his face, needing to see his expressions, I savored his soft skin against my work-hardened knuckles. Every inch of this man appealed to me, but along with it came the desire to protect him from the world.
Over the years, I’d worried about B’s reckless ways. He was an act first, think way later kind of man, and while it worked out on most occasions because he was personable and capable, it still didn’t keep me from being uneasy from time to time.
With these two men in my life, it would be easy to fall for them and have my primal instincts take over. But I needed to bide my time and not scare either of them off with my neediness and protective impulses.
“It hasn’t happened in such a long time. I’d forgotten how fast my reactionary thoughts overwhelm me. On a day-to-day basis, I can prioritize and compartmentalize my thoughts. But when I get excited or upset or I get an influx of information, I have to calm myself down or, according to my doctor, my blood pressure drops, I get dizzy and lightheaded, before I faint.”
He shrugged, as though it wasn’t a big deal.
“What the fuck?” B blurted out.
Rather than taking offense to B’s outburst, Phoenix let out a chuckle, which made me smile.
“Why are you laughing? This is serious.” B demanded.
Phoenix leaned back and said, “When I was younger, I’d stress the day before school started or when there was tension at home, but since I’ve been an adult, it’s happened twice.”
I cleared my throat. “I take it there was always tension at home.”
With a definitive nod of his head, Phoenix said, “My very existence was a disappointment to my masculine, stoic father since birth, I suppose. My favorite color was pink or glitter because it contains all the colors. I mean, I still love glitter. Who doesn’t? I use it when I decorate pots at home, which benefits me because he’s disgusted by my choices and would never visit me there.
“Then there are the things he hates about me that are out of my control. My hair is too blond, I’m too skinny, I laugh too loud, and enjoy artistic things. On top of all the other offenses he’s added over the years. You name it, he hated it about me.”
I swallowed the resentment, but didn’t realize I was shaking with rage.
Phoenix fisted my shirt and pulled me closer, and we grew silent as we cocooned him in our arms, offering comfort. But when his stomach rumbled, I lifted Phoenix and placed him on B’s lap, and started for the kitchen.
If I was inadequate with emotional aid and I couldn’t track down his father and beat some sense into him, the least I could do was to feed him.