Chapter 9
Mamas And Papas
Olivia woke early after a restless night. She’d never enjoyed making big decisions, and she often wondered if that was because she’d never been able to make many of her own as a child.
Since having Ella Mae with her, she’d been forced to make so many.
Dealing with Mary Mae and Liam’s deaths, and the paperwork involved in officially getting guardianship of Ella Mae.
Dealing with probate and all the legal steps.
Changing their names. Moving out of their apartment in case Adam knew their location.
Buying her first car. Choosing a destination. And then the next destination.
Now, she could choose to stop running and put down roots for her and Ella Mae. She watched the tiny girl sleeping in her toddler bed with her dragon tucked under her arm.
“What do you think, Ella Mae? Is this the right choice for you?”
The girl didn’t stir at Olivia’s whispered questions, but the decision had to be all about Ella. Olivia’s intense attraction to Nash couldn’t be a factor, because as much as she was drawn to the man, Ella’s safety came first.
She listed the pros and the good things about staying in Vermont.
The people were welcoming and friendly.
They already had friends and connections.
There wouldn’t be a lease or rental agreement in Olivia’s name. If Adam somehow found out about the name change, he wouldn’t find paperwork leading him here.
The people at the farm had invited her. Nash had approved of the invitation, but it mattered that the initial idea had come from the others. Olivia wouldn’t be imposing or invading a space where she wasn’t welcome.
There was safety in numbers. Being surrounded by the group at the farm would mean she and Ella would rarely be alone or isolated. Safer.
Ella would have a built in big-brother in Charlie. The boy was a delight, and he’d already snuck deep into Olivia’s heart. Ella’s too.
Nash. There was incredible chemistry there. More, there was kindness and caring. Nash was gentle with Ella and he was a fantastic dad to Charlie. A good friend to the others at the farm.
Olivia sighed and decided she needed to tackle the cons.
Vermont wasn’t all that far from New York. Would Ella be safer if Olivia kept moving? It would be easier to get lost and go unnoticed in a large city like Chicago or Seattle.
Her heart plummeted at the thought.
She didn’t want to move on. She wanted to stay right here in Vermont. Wanted to move onto the farm.
She couldn’t think of anything else negative about staying put.
Did the many pros outweigh the one con?
Did safety in numbers and friends outweigh safety in distance and isolation?
Ella opened her eyes and locked onto Olivia’s gaze. The instant smile filled her heart. “We’re doing okay, Ella Mae. I think your mom would be happy.”
Ella smiled and then rolled her lips together. When she made the M sound, Olivia laughed. “That’s it. Your mom would love that sound. Your mama loves it, too.”
After Mary Mae’s death, Olivia decided to differentiate them that way. Mary Mae would be Mom. Olivia would be Mama.
That wouldn’t be suspicious if anyone heard her using either name. When Ella was old enough, she’d explain and hope the little girl had memories to go along with the names.
“Mom. Say, Mom.”
Ella repeated the sound and then put two sounds together. “That’s it, my precious girl. Mama.”
Laughing, she climbed out of bed and scooped up Ella to dance her around the room, the two of them chanting Mama.
Her phone rang with a call, and a thrill shot through Olivia. Before arriving in Phail, a phone call would have brought fear, not anticipation.
Sure enough, Nash’s name appeared on the screen and she danced Ella in another circle before answering and putting it on speaker. “Good morning.”
Nash’s soft chuckle rumbled through the line and shivers rushed over her skin. “Good morning, Olivia. You’re very cheerful this morning.”
She laughed as Ella babbled and reached for the phone. Nash chuckled again. “Good morning, Ella. You’re in a good mood as well.”
Olivia grinned. “Ella has been practicing her M sounds this morning.”
“Good girl, Ella. Did you say Mama?”
To her delight, Ella repeated Nash’s words.
Nash chuckled. “Atta girl. Are you and your Mama coming to the farm for the day?”
She didn’t bother telling Nash about the way she was going to differentiate herself from Mary Mae. Before she could answer, he spoke again.
“Actually, are you packing up at the B&B and heading out here for the night?”
She hesitated because she hadn’t made a decision yet. But her hesitation lasted only as long as it took for Ella to babble another long story to Nash on the phone.
Her girl wanted to see Nash. Both of them did. “Yes.”
She heard the smile in Nash’s voice. “Good. That’s good, Olivia. I know you’re both going to like living out here. I’m looking forward to it, too.”
Which sent delicious thrills through her. “I’m a little nervous. I feel like I’m forcing my way in.”
Nash laughed. “Not even a little bit. The entire team is looking forward to you and Ella joining us. Charlie will be ecstatic. Try it out for a while and see how you feel. You don’t have to make a permanent decision today.”
And that’s what sold her. There was no pressure from any of them. She didn’t feel like a burden. They weren’t making the offer out of pity. Empathy, maybe, but not pity.
“Okay. That sounds good. We’ll be out there after we pack up.” And she’d pick up some food from Fiona Phail’s store. She wasn’t going to be a burden at all.
“Text me when you’re about to leave.”
“I will.”
“Thanks. See you soon.”
She disconnected and danced her happy girl around the room again.
When they headed down for breakfast, she wasn’t surprised to find the highchair set up for Ella at the table by the window.
They were the only guests in the dining room this morning. Jim swung through from the kitchen. “Good morning, ladies. Are you ready for breakfast, Ella?”
Ella answered with her M sound, and Jim’s face lit up. “Are you saying your Mama is ready for breakfast too? Mama?”
Ella clapped her hands and repeated Mama, filling Olivia’s eyes with tears.
Jim clapped and repeated Mama until Carl entered the room and joined in. Soon the four of them were chanting Mama and then Ella dissolved into giggles.
Olivia set her in the high chair and wiped her eyes before taking her seat. “That is the very best way to start the morning.”
Carl passed Ella two sippy cups and repeated the words milk and water for the girl. “We’ll miss you being here, but I hope you’ll still come to visit.”
Jim grinned. “Assuming you’re moving out to the Malssum’s apple farm.”
She gaped at the two men. Carl waggled his eyebrows. “Did you think we wouldn’t know they had invited you out to the farm?”
Jim nodded. “We spoke to Thea when she collected the coffee grounds and veggie scraps earlier this morning. She was hoping you and your girl would be joining them there.”
Carl grinned. “I’ll be right back with your breakfast.”
A blue jay landed on the feeder outside, and Ella pointed and laughed.
Jim pointed. “Birdie, Ella. Brr. Dee.” He emphasized the consonant sounds and when Ella repeated the B sound, he praised her. “You’re a smartie, my girl. Mama and birdie in the same morning.”
Relief filled Olivia. While she suspected Ella Mae’s lack of vocabulary was rooted in the trauma of losing her parents and her home, it was a thrill to see her connecting the sounds with objects.
She had to feel safe if her brain was relaxed enough to make such progress.
“Looks like small-town Vermont is good for her.”
Jim patted her shoulder. “Good for you both, I think.”
She hoped so.
Nash was glad Charlie was as anxious as he was for Olivia and Ella to arrive at the farm. At least he wasn’t alone in his desire to see the two of them again. The entire group had made a point of telling him they were happy for the new additions.
He figured everyone had sensed Olivia’s nerves. They were an intuitive bunch. Serving in the army taught the men how to listen to intuition, but the women seemed to have finely tuned instincts without training.
He wouldn’t share the details of Olivia’s past with anyone, but he figured many of them suspected she was looking for a safe place.
The farm would have many advantages for the two of them. The farmhouse and inn had security systems. Eight adults would be living here full time along with several protective dogs. Olivia wouldn’t have her name on any lease or rental agreement.
Nash hadn’t made any progress on searching for Adam. Searching for one snowflake in the orchard would be easier than finding an Adam who was connected to the death of a woman whose name he didn’t know.
It would be easier if he found out more about Ella’s mother or Olivia’s previous name. But he wouldn’t ask, not when he wanted her to feel safe in her new home. He wanted it to be her home for a very long time.
He and Charlie used shovels and their boots to flatten a snowy area near the barn.
They’d looked up online how to make an ice rink in a field.
They should be able to make a skating rink if the snow didn’t melt.
Well, a boot hockey rink for a start. It would be a fun space to learn how to hold a hockey stick and shoot some pucks. He’d ordered a few of those already.
Nash wanted them all to learn to skate. He planned to buy skates for the entire group as a thank you for inviting him and Charlie to live here. They’d contribute to the success of the farm with the cider business, but this was something he could do for everyone as a thank you.
He needed to find everyone’s shoe size, but he figured he’d set that as a mission for Charlie. His son would have a blast checking out the moccasins and boots in the mudroom without anyone spotting him.