Chapter 19
Alex
I findher where she said she’d be, getting a refill of her drink. I approach her slowly because she seems distracted, and I don’t want to scare her.
“Saint…” I say softly but it still makes her jump a little.
She doesn’t bother to look back at me which cuts.
“I’m coming back in a minute. I just needed a refill.”
The bartender slides her the drink a moment later and she thanks him before she’s finally forced to turn to me.
“Anything for you?” He looks to me.
“No thanks.” I shake my head.
“I’m going to get a little air out here. You don’t have to wait for me.” She heads for the door, and I hurry after her. I hold it and follow her out into the night. It’s unseasonably warm which is the only reason I’m not fighting her on this course of action because I’m fairly certain she’s running—again. I’m not sure from what part of things exactly yet, but I’m going to find out.
“I’m not seeing her anymore.” I hedge that somehow Danica’s little stunt is at the center of this runaway act.
“It’s fine if you are. Drew said the two of you were pretty heavy for a while.” She shrugs, staring out over the city, taking a sip of her drink.
I bet he fucking did. Anything that would make me seem worse.
“It was short-lived and mostly fueled by off-season alcohol and bad decisions.”
“Well, better than marrying her, right?” She gives me a false smile without looking at me.
“It’s not fine if I’m seeing her. I’m with you.”
When I set the boundaries, I meant them. Even if this is a fake relationship, I can only imagine that thinking I’m secretly hooking up with Danica would be triggering given the hell Drew put her through.
“Not really. Don’t be silly. I know what I said but as long as you’re discreet it doesn’t matter. Especially since Sam said they have to take their time investigating Daniels’s claims. No one—least of all your publicist—could have thought you’d stay celibate through this.” There’s a flippancy to her tone as she talks.
I hate it, but I earned it. Every single bit of the reputation I have and the view she has of me. I’d take it all back right now if I thought I could change her mind though.
“I thought I could,” I say, trying not to sound as bitter as I feel right now.
She glances up at me finally. “You gave it the college try. No one can blame you. She’s… I get it. Just be careful because I don’t think she understands the meaning of discretion.”
“I don’t care about her.” I can hear the frustration in my tone, and she must too because she frowns a little.
“Okay. I saw you two together. Before and tonight. Obviously, she still thinks you have unfinished business.”
“You’re seeing what you want to see then. Because the only person I’ve been looking at or thinking about all night is you.”
Her eyes flash to mine and her skepticism fades a bit, there’s a hint of a smile on her lips.
“I know. You’ve been very sweet all night, truly. For someone who doesn’t do it very often, you’re very good at this whole boyfriend act.”
“No, Saint.” I close the distance between us. “I mean all I can think about is you. How you taste. How you felt. The other night… The way you kissed me that night—we both know that wasn’t practice. The way you look in this fucking dress…” I shake my head. “Then you had to tell me it’s my dress, and all I’ve been able to think about is…”
I stop talking because everything that comes after that is more than she might want to hear right now.
“I got carried away a little with that kiss… I’m sorry. That was embarrassing. I’m sorry I ran like that. I just panicked. I don’t know. You have that effect on me sometimes.”
“Good. I just wish I had that effect all the time,” I say, reaching up and sliding my hand over the edge of her jaw, brushing her cheek with my thumb.
“The forced celibacy must be getting to you if you’re saying that.”
“You are getting to me.”
“You remember who I am right? Your best friend’s ex-wife?”
“I had you first.”
Her eyes flick up to mine, just like they did earlier tonight when I mentioned it.
“We also agreed we weren’t talking about that ever again and you’ve brought it up several times now.”
“We made that agreement when I figured out you were dating my friend. You’re not dating him anymore. You made it pretty clear you never would again. So I think it’s fair to revisit it.”
“What would you like to revisit?” She eyes me skeptically.
“I thought it was a good night. Ending could have been better though.”
“All the same reasons still stand and then some.” Her look turns wary.
“Your main reason, if I remember, was that I was a one-night stand—who you’d never hear from again. Which you know is wrong now because we’re already in a committed relationship.” I grin at her, hoping to put her at ease and bring some levity.
“Ha. My main reason was that you are all this, and I am this. And these things don’t mix.” She waves her hand between us.
“Oh, I think they’d mix. I don’t know if I can handle you in this dress. But I’m willing to try.”
She rolls her eyes. “Alex… Look at me and then look at your ex-girlfriend, lover, whatever you want to call her.”
I take the opportunity to slide closer to her, bringing our bodies only inches apart, tilting my head down as I whisper in her ear like a fucking devil on her shoulder.
“Look at me and then look at your ex. You had a choice and chose him. But I’m not holding it against you. Fuck I’ll even let you use me for revenge. You can’t exactly go back and cheat on him. But you can fuck his best friend.”
I’ve just fucking jumped in headfirst and while it’s probably not wise, the way her eyes flash to mine, bright with interest before she flutters her lashes and looks away is the hint I need. Because I will try something, anything, to get her to take a chance on me. I know if she does, she won’t regret it. I’ll prove it was the right choice over and over, but first I need her to take the chance.
“Be serious, Alex.”
“I’m being serious, Saint. Dead-fucking-serious. The way you kissed me? The way you look at me? You should try it. Fuck me. You want to, and for all your complaints about ethics here, you’ve got to know how good it would feel to be riding his best friend’s cock. Knowing I’d be deeper than he’s ever been. That I’d make you come harder.”
I hear the short puff of air that comes out of her on an exhale, the color in her cheeks visible even in the dull light out here. And fuck it makes me harder when I see the effect I have on her.
“Alex…”