Chapter 39
Alex
I hatehim for what he’s done to her. For what I let him do to her because I didn’t speak up sooner. Made her feel less than when she’s this fucking perfect and sweet. Seeing her standing in front of me, her gorgeous skin contrasted against all of the tattoos on my arms as I hold her. She leans back against me, and it reminds me of all the ways the two of us shouldn’t make sense. All the ways we’re too different. Except somehow, she’s all I can think about. All I’ve been able to think about for years.
I slide my hand down, skating over the skin of her stomach, dipping beneath the band of her underwear, and parting her to slide my fingers gently over her clit. She’s already wet for me and when I stroke her softly, she writhes against me, her eyes closed, and her lower lip drawn up between her teeth. When she’s like this I could confess everything. Get on my knees and beg her for anything she’s willing to give, and I don’t think she has a clue how much I want her. Fucking crave her and have all this time.
“I love when you’re like this, Saint. When you give yourself over to me. Let me have you. Would you have let me in that day? If I’d come to your bridal suite and told you I needed to talk to you?”
I stroke her steadily, gently, giving her just enough that it’s teasing her because I want to draw this out. Watch her for a while. Having her here in this house, where I had to sit and watch her be his dutiful little wife while he neglected her. Didn’t give her the time or attention she fucking deserved.
“Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, I would have let you in, Alex.”
“Why?”
“Because you were the best man.”
“What if I’d confessed to you? Told you I was fantasizing about fucking you? That I couldn’t stop thinking about you and fucking comets and hikes and the way you tasted like grapefruit and tequila. Would you have run away with me?”
“Yes.”
And that “Yes” sets me on fire. I don’t care if it’s a lie or a thing she’d only say yes to in retrospect. It sends my heart into a heavy rhythm because it means she’s thought of me, thinks of me as someone she wants.
I slide a finger inside, testing her, and she’s getting so fucking wet thinking about this that I can barely fucking breathe when I feel her. It makes me want to take her hard and fast, give her a taste of what I could have been doing for her all along. Except I want this fantasy with her for as long as I can have it. I slide a second finger inside, fucking her slow and gentle with them while she rocks against me.
“You’re getting so fucking wet thinking about this, Saint. Look at my girl, soaking my fingers and these panties.”
She lets out a choked gasp when I grind my palm against her clit, giving her a touch of the friction I know she needs.
“And if I stole you away, you’d have spread these gorgeous thighs for me? Let me have a fucking taste of you?”
“Yes. I fantasized for months about it after that first night.”
“Months? You only met him a month later.” I give her more of the pressure she’s wanting, watching her in the mirror as she comes undone for me.
“Months. I had to keep seeing you everywhere, and I couldn’t get you out of my head after. Every stupid time.”
The way she stutters her words makes me feel like I’m torturing the confession out of her. Teasing her until she tells me what I need to know.
“And what about later? Did you think of me?”
“When he made me watch games with him sometimes. I tried not to.”
“Why?”
“Because I was married. I tried really hard to be a good wife to him despite everything.” She swallows against another moan.
“You were a good wife, Saint. Fuck, you were a perfect wife. He just didn’t deserve you.” I kiss the side of her throat. “But I need you to be my good girl right now and tell me what I need to know. Okay?”
“Yes.”
“What about when I came over here? All those parties and dinners? You ever think about me then?”
She doesn’t answer, so I slow down my pace and then withdraw my fingers, brushing over her clit on the way, making her buck slightly at the contact.
“Alex…” she whimpers at the loss of me. But my fingers go to her breasts, sliding my thumb and forefinger over the tip, making it glisten with her come before I twist and then lean over to lick it off.
“Fuck,” she mutters softly, her fingers running over my skin as I toy with her.
“Did you ever think of me when you were married?”
“I tried not to. But sometimes…”
“Like when?”
“That party in the spring… I knew… I knew about the cheating then. And you brought her. She was all over you all night. The two of you constantly ducking out to go make out or whatever you were doing. I wanted that. Wanted you. Then you came in to help with dessert and you stepped up behind me and when I turned and backed into you on accident…” she trails off.
I remember it. The way her ass had felt brushing over my cock. The way her eyes had lit up before she hurried off.
“You could feel how hard you made me?” I whisper as I press another kiss to the side of her breast.
“Me? I thought it was her.” Her eyes flutter open, and I can feel them on me through the mirror as I skate my hands over her skin, pausing to kiss and touch every little valley and mountain of her body. I want her like this in my bed every morning, so I can look at her every day when I wake up.
“No. I’d heard the two of you arguing earlier. Heard you tell him you hated him and were going to find a guy and fuck him. I spent all night trying to keep my mouth fucking shut and not offer myself up as tribute.” I grin against the side of her breast before I take her nipple in my mouth and skim my teeth over it.
She gasps, but she doesn’t lose the thread of our conversation. “You were all over her.”
Jealousy seeps into her tone, and I know. I know I’m a fucking bastard for the things it does to me to know she was jealous over me even then, but I love it.
“Trying to distract myself and not say anything to you. Except then I found you in the kitchen, fixing all of those desserts, all pissed off but still trying to be the good hostess. I wanted to drag you outside and tell you to blow off the fucking party and come ride my cock for as long as you wanted. Get your anger out on me while I made you come. If you had said anything… fuck if you had looked at me a little longer the way you did in that kitchen, I would have pinned you up against those cabinets.”
“I wish you would have.”
“I can now.” I slide my tongue over the tip of her nipple again before I stand back up to my full height. “Take those panties off and bend over this counter. You’re gonna watch me fuck you like I should have back then.”