Chapter 43
Harper
I’m sittingon the couch watching Alex play when I hear the door unlock. It scares the hell out of me, not just because it can’t possibly be Alex but because I can’t imagine anyone else he knows who has a key that would be stopping by while he’s playing. They’d all be as glued to the game as I am. I tense, wondering where a weapon I can use is and start thinking about making a dash for the kitchen for a knife. So when it’s Drew’s face that comes around the corner, I stare at him blankly. The shock is returned because he apparently doesn’t expect anyone—least of all me—to be there.
“Harp? What are you doing here?”
“I’m staying here. What are you doing here? And don’t you knock?”
“I didn’t knock because he’s obviously not home.” He points to the TV.
“Doesn’t mean the place is empty.”
“His cleaner and his trainer aren’t here on Sundays either.”
“So why are you?” I raise a brow at him.
“I was dropping off some paperwork he needs for this week.” He holds up a large manila envelope and sets it on the counter. I want to believe that’s what he’s doing, but the guilty defensive tone he has makes me feel like there’s more to it.
“Not snooping around while he’s not home?”
“What would I snoop around about? I’m his agent. I know all his dirty fucking secrets.” Drew’s eyes flit over me, and I see on his face the moment he realizes I’m wearing one of Alex’s shirts. “Or at least I fucking thought I did.”
“Some things aren’t your business, even if you are his agent.”
“You’re my business.”
I laugh. “I’m definitely not.”
“You’re my ex-wife. He shouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot fucking pole.”
“Ex. Ex-wife Drew. As in no longer, and he can touch me however and whenever he pleases.”
“I should have fucking known.” Drew looks a combination of pissed and amused as he shakes his head. “I knew he was going to go after you, but I thought you were too smart for his bullshit.”
“His bullshit? He doesn’t have any bullshit. He has some faults but lying and bullshitting aren’t on the list. You on the other hand are full of it.” I glare at him as I fold my arms because he turns me into a petulant child who wants to argue about every stupid detail with him.
“I should have known you’d be vulnerable and easy for him to manipulate. I should have warned you.”
“I don’t need you to warn me,” I say derisively because I can’t believe he’s taking this patronizing tone with me. I mean I can believe he’d do it; it was a frequent habit of his I realized too late, but that he thinks he can do it to me now and I’ll listen is wild.
“You do. You don’t know what you’re getting into with him. How he treats women. How quickly he ditches them and replaces them. He’ll say whatever he needs to get them in bed with him, and then he’s a completely different person.”
“Are you his agent or Danica’s?” I roll my eyes. “I’m not worried.”
“Danica was the least of his problems. She at least knew what she was getting into with him. There have been plenty of others he’s left in his wake. Sam and I clean up his fucking mess every time. I don’t want to have to clean up after he does the same to you. And he will.”
“I don’t know the person you’re talking about. Because the Alex I know is very clear on where we stand and has been throughout all of this. Second, even if things don’t work out for us, I just want the best for him. There won’t be any mess to clean up. And most importantly—the only one of you who I can recall lying, manipulating, and leaving a mess in their wake is you. Thankfully Alex repaired most of that damage. You know, because he’s a good person, practically a Boy Scout in my experience.”
“A good person,” Drew scoffs.
“If you represent him, shouldn’t you think so?”
“I think he is who he is. He’s my friend—or at least I thought he was—and I think he’s a lucrative client when I get to constantly charge more for all the extra headaches he creates.”
“That’s sad then. He deserves better than you.”
“You deserve better than him.”
“Yeah, and who is that? You? The guy who cheated on me over and over again?”
“I’m not that guy anymore. I’m working on myself. Getting my shit together. I’m a better person now. Our divorce woke me up, and I’ve been doing my best to fix all the shit that went wrong.”
“You know, I hope that’s true. I hope that you figure things out and do better the next time.”
“Do you mean that?” He studies me like he’s skeptical.
“Yes, Drew. You hurt me, a lot. But at some point, we cared a lot about each other. I wanted good things for you. I still do even if you’re not my favorite person.”
“I want another chance to prove it to you.” His eyes go soft as he looks at me, and I almost feel guilty for what I have to say next.
“Drew… No. That’s not happening. I’m with Alex. It’s not fake anymore. I have feelings for him. I hate to be the one to tell you that, and even with everything that went on, I’m sorry it’s your best friend. But that’s just how it is.”
“Because you had feelings for him the whole fucking time and never gave me a real chance.” He lashes out.
“I did not.”
“He told me about you meeting him before me. Not wanting a one-night stand. So what was I? The consolation prize? Can’t have the guy you want so you take his friend instead?”
“That is not how it happened. I didn’t even know the two of you were friends when we met. I just thought you were friends with someone in Violet’s circle. I didn’t know it was him.”
“And when you did and didn’t want to tell me?”
“I was worried it would create unnecessary drama, and at that point I had feelings for you. I was falling for you, and I wanted to see where things went. I didn’t care about what had or hadn’t happened with Alex.”
“And I’m just supposed to believe that, when the two of you are together now. Like I was just some fucking mistake.” Tears are welling in Drew’s eyes and guilt swarms in my gut. I shouldn’t feel it because he hurt me over and over again. And none of that seemed to matter to him until I was moving on.
“You weren’t a mistake. If you hadn’t cheated on me. If you’d been more involved… Fuck, even if you’d just agreed to go to the counseling with me and promised to never hurt me like that again, we might have fixed it or at least tried. But you didn’t care. You just wanted what you wanted—and that wasn’t me. So don’t come back now and act as though you’ve always been madly in love with me, and Alex is stealing me away. That’s not how this went.”
“I’m fucking in love with you. Christ, Harper. You’re so fucking blind because not everyone is as perfect as you are. I cheated. I fucked up. I never felt like I was good enough for you. That I deserved you. The other women, they weren’t you. Not so perfect, not as beautiful, not as kind. It made me feel like I had someone at my own level for once. Like maybe I was better even, and they were lucky to have me. I never fucking felt that with you—like you felt like you were lucky to be with me. And it killed me. So fuck this storyline you and Alex have fed yourselves that I never loved you. I might not have loved you the right way or best, or whatever the fuck it is you think he does. I might not fucking love you last either, but I fucking love you, Harper.”
I stand there feeling stunned because this is the most emotional Drew has ever been about our breakup. Even when I asked for a divorce, he was calm. He’d barely raised his voice. It’d been one of the most crushing aspects—how little he seemed to care. He’d still tried to talk me out of it, but he was never like this.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Drew.”
“I want another chance.”
“It’s too late for that.”
“Why? Because of him. I don’t care about him.”
“I do.”
“You shouldn’t. He’s going to treat you the same way he’s treated every other woman in his life—when he’s bored, it’ll be like you never existed. You have to know that. You’ve seen how he treats some of them with your own eyes. Then you’ll wish you’d listened to me. That you’d come back to me. That you’d given me a second chance. Because for me you’re the center of my fucking world, Harper. The other women were the mistakes I made. I’d give up everything to have you. You think he can say the same?”
His words rattle me. Not because I ever want to be back with Drew, that much I know for sure. But because the part about Alex being bored is a real worry in the back of my mind. It’s one I try to ignore. An insecurity I don’t want to listen to. But Alex’s track record is long and thinking I’m the exception is wildly vain. I take a deep breath, trying to silence the thought. I don’t want to think about any of it right now. And it doesn’t matter anyway. I’m not trying to marry Alex. I don’t even love him—fuck, wait. Do I?
I can’t process any of this until Drew is gone. He’s the last person I need here right now.
“I think you need to leave Drew.”
“Yeah, I get it.” His mouth goes to a thin line as he looks at me. “A lot to think about. But think about it, hard. Then let me know when you’re ready to talk.”
“Yeah, okay. Just go Drew. I’ll let Alex know about the paperwork.”
“I love you, Harper.”
“Don’t do that,” I warn.
“Call me when you’re ready. I’ll fix it,” he says, walking out the door and shutting it behind him.
I lock it immediately, and I’m tempted to put a chair in front of it. I hate that he has a key, and it’s something I wish Alex had warned me about. If I’m going to keep staying here, that’s something that would have to change.