Chapter Nineteen #2
And looking out at the calm, turquoise water and feeling the dense, emerald jungle lingering in the fringes of her sense memory, Lulu absorbed the sensation.
Thank goodness she was here again with her daughter.
Sometimes it took a three-year-old to shake her out of her funk and remind her of the beauty in the world, and to bring her back to a place of gratitude.
Here she was. On a beach. Playing with her daughter. In Crusta Rica.
“Mommy?”
Lulu looked up, woken from her reverie.
“Can I show you the fishies?”
With a laugh, Lulu took hold of her daughter’s sticky hand.
They waded with careful steps into the shallow coral tidepools, Zoe squatting to touch a yellow fish that zipped away from her shadow.
As they tread gently between the pools, they stopped to play every third step.
Zoe giggled as their fingertips were sucked in by the vacuum mouths of anemones and pouted as their toes scraped against the rough shells.
“Lulu!” Ariana waved both arms from the shoreline.
Hesitating only a moment, Lulu led Zoe toward the younger woman.
Ariana clutched her chest when she saw them approach. “Is this your daughter? Oh my gosh. She is so sweet!”
Zoe wrinkled her nose and stuck out her tongue.
“Sometimes,” Lulu said. She still felt Ariana had stepped over the line in exposing her private moments so publicly.
But if living with Rooster and Laverne had taught her anything, it was that leaving room in her heart for forgiveness was a skill that, with practice, she could stand to improve.
Of course, she recognized the irony of that observation when it came to Tyler, but his breaches would take a greater measure of tolerance to absolve.
And for that she would need time. And maybe tequila.
But for now, Lulu breathed in a shot of patience. The three of them walked together in silence until finding a spot higher up on the beach where the crushed coral was packed and dry. And while Zoe dug for treasure in the coarse sand, Ariana turned to face Lulu.
“Listen. I know what I did was sneaky and wrong,” she said in that straightforward way that Ariana had of speaking. “And I should have asked your permission first. And I’m sorry.”
In her head, Lulu could hear Rooster’s reminders, pushing Lulu to work on apologies and forgiveness. Lulu could not state with certainty which of the two was more difficult to offer. But she did know it was time to lean into her own reset.
Lulu ventured, “I appreciate your saying that. And…I forgive you.”
Ariana’s expression opened with relief. “I really appreciate that. And I really do care about your friendship.”
Despite her lingering frustration, it was very good to know that someone valued her friendship. Her lips pressed together in a hint of a smile.
“Do you like potatoes?” Zoe asked Ariana.
“I guess.”
“I do,” Zoe said, and ran down the beach to refill her pail with water.
Ariana’s lip quirked up. “Kids. Don’t know if I’m gonna go that route.”
“No?”
“Just don’t think I want to. Although my mom says if I don’t give her grandkids, she’s going to kill me. Counterintuitive, right? But that’s my mom.” Lulu chuckled, and they sat and watched the sea for a while, listening to the caw of the gulls and the soft sound of Zoe singing to herself.
“How are you feeling about the vacation being over?” Ariana asked.
“Mixed,” Lulu answered truthfully. “You?”
“I decided I’m gonna stay a week or two.
Or three or four. Travel around and spend all my hard-earned savings.
I mean, what’s the point of saving if you don’t spend it?
” Lulu could think of a lot of points, but it did not seem like Ariana actually wanted an answer.
“That’s the beauty of being able to work from anywhere! ”
Letting her gaze wander around the peaceful setting, Lulu imagined how nice that would be, working from wherever the wind took her. As long as she could plan ahead, of course. And as long as she got to decide which way the wind blew.
They sat in easy silence, Zoe dumping sand on the ladies’ legs and singing about smushing a bumblebee.
Ariana’s exhale cut through her thoughts.
“My boyfriend decided to stay in Texas. To live with his parents while he finds a more permanent job. And he kind of hinted…that maybe this would be a good time to break up.” Her voice trailed off, and Lulu gave her space in the pause.
“But,” Ariana said at last, “it’s like he wants me to be the one to do it.
” Lulu could see a vulnerability in Ariana’s eyes that she had not seen before.
Ariana stared at the sea and asked, “What would you do if you were me?”
A remembered feeling tumbled through Lulu’s head.
What would her parents have said to her if she were in the same position as Ariana?
Her throat tightened with the realization that when she was a teen, she saw her parents as a roadblock to her happiness with Tyler, and the barrier to her desire to become a tennis pro.
And then she never really got the chance to know them as an adult.
It felt like an honor that Ariana should ask her for advice, so she weighed her answer carefully.
“I think if you’re staying with him because you want to be with him, then you should fight to make it work,” she said, the inverse to her own life at this juncture not escaping her.
“But if you have been thinking about ending it, which it seems like what you’ve been feeling in your heart, then you shouldn’t take the easy out and just let it fade away.
Tell him how you feel. Set yourself free.
But whichever way it is, you can be the strong one,” Lulu said, brushing a fleck of coral sand off her own eyelash.
Ariana hung her head, thinking about it. “Yeah. That would be the right thing, wouldn’t it? For me and for him, too.”
Something warm and happy filled Lulu’s chest. Lulu knew you had to be a friend to make a friend. And she would appreciate a smart sounding board like Ariana now that she was considering a shift in her career life. A shift in her life. Period. Yes. It would be a good thing.
Lulu sat with her thoughts for several minutes, and when Ariana wandered back toward the resort, Lulu dug out a towel and brushed off the sand that covered Zoe from head to toe, then they headed to the lobby.
Her tennis shoes made no sound against the marble floor.
As she wove her way to the reception desk, her glance caught on the activities board.
The schedule noted the evening’s plan: a special farewell event on the pickleball courts.
It would take place after dark and dress code instructions had been included.
And although Lulu felt sad for this adventure to come to an end, she was proud of the progress she’d made in her promise to push herself this week.
At last, she and Zoe stood in front of the reception desk, awaiting their evening’s fate.
Six minutes into Lulu’s wait, Zoe devolved into a nuclear meltdown so apoplectic that Lulu had to call in the cavalry—in this case, Aunt Laverne—to gently pry the three-year-old off the furnishings and take her back to the room before her little girl threw an adult-sized tantrum and smashed a thousand-dollar vase, or demanded seedless dates flown in fresh from the Mediterranean.
Carmen, the program director, joined the receptionist at the desk and the pair conferred.
Lulu’s high school Spanish kicked in, and she was able to translate smatterings of their conversation.
Her room was no longer available because it had been…
what? She didn’t understand the details, but she did pick out the name of a certain pickleball pro.
“Excuse me. Sorry. But were you just saying something about my room?”
“Sorry it’s taking so long,” Carmen explained, clicking away at the computer. “The only room remaining is an adjoined suite. But our management has blocked that room to give one of our celebrity guests some privacy.”
The wheels churned in Lulu’s brain. So his highness Tyler Demming and his entourage of not a single other person decided that taking up two rooms at a resort would be necessary to house both him and his giant ego.
“If you’d like,” Carmen said, “you can wait in your aunt’s room if you want to freshen up after your long journey. We can bring your bags to you when this is all sorted out.”
Lulu couldn’t decide whether she was more insulted by the dismissal or by the suggestion that there was something about her hygiene that needed freshening.
Nevertheless, frustrated and weary, she followed Carmen’s directions along the groomed outdoor walkways toward the grand hotel that housed Laverne and Rooster’s new room.
Down the wide hallway she strode, taking in the vaulted ceilings, the plush carpet, the gilded mirrors. And this was just the hallway!
Lulu knocked on the door, but getting no response, she let herself in with the loaned keycard.
And now she knew what it meant when people said that a view could take their breath away, because Lulu literally stopped breathing.
Drawn to the vista, Lulu opened the sliding glass door and stepped onto the balcony, raised half a flight above the beach.
Below the low railing, the sand, white with crunchy coral, and the sea, blue as deep ice, spread before her in a landscape worthy of a travel website named The Most Beautiful Things Your Eyes Can See on Vacation.
Lulu’s fingertips fizzled with amazement, and when she took in the smell, her nostrils tingled with the salt air.
She stood, staring at the vision, and let the serenity of the scene soothe her.
And actually, she realized she did want a nice, hot shower after all that traveling.
The shower streamed and pounded on her shoulders while she inhaled the steam and lathered on the eucalyptus-and-peppermint-scented body wash.
The shampoo frothed and the conditioner, well, she was certain the final results would be both silky and smooth.
It was the fourth best shower she had ever taken in her life, and she cataloged it in her brain along with her top five restaurant desserts and favorite places to nap at the school where she worked. More probably, used to work.
Twisting her hair inside a white towel turban, she piled it on top of her head and wrapped her body in a larger, fluffy white towel.
Imagine having the guts to have white towels with a preschooler in the house, she thought, enveloping herself in luxury.
She gave the plush body towel a twist and a tuck at the chest to secure the top.
Lulu peeked out into the room to check if her family had returned, which they had not.
But this time as she glanced around, she noticed something she had not caught before.
When first she had sauntered onto the balcony, she had been captivated by the view, but now, her mom-radar picked up the glaring hazard.
Edging out through the door, Lulu surveyed the scene with her astute eye. Just look at that railing. Hip level! Who puts a railing at hip level?! Zoe could easily climb that railing. No, no, no. It wouldn’t do at all.
She glanced around, searching. If only she had a grate or some fencing wire, she could build a makeshift barrier, something to childproof the railing.
There was, Lulu noticed, a lattice-work fence that created a privacy screen between her aunt’s balcony and the other guest rooms. If she slid the screen in front of the railing, surely that would deter Zoe from going near the edge. Yes. That would do the trick.
Sliding her fingers between the narrow lattice diamonds, Lulu tugged. It was heavier than it looked, but Lulu was strong, and if she could lift a squirming toddler in one hand and steer a stroller in the other while riding an escalator at the mall, then she could shift a plywood screen, no problem.
The weight of it threw her off, but she recovered, her torso tilting to adjust her balance. She could feel the towel, snugly twisted and tucked above her left breast, threatening to unravel its hold. Sticking her chest out to prevent slippage, she maneuvered the screen toward the railing.
But her boobs were no match for gravity, and it was either drop the cumbersome screen on her toe or lose the towel altogether.
Foot preservation won out. The towel performed a leisurely ballet, sliding gently over her naked breasts, slowing momentarily at the thrust of Lulu’s hip, but then pooling victoriously at her feet.
Quickly as she could, she put down the lattice and went to reach for the towel but heard a soft intake of air. She cast a hurried glance toward the balcony next door.
A sound in her head like a record scratch followed by a car crash accompanied the sight. There, on the balcony from whence she had moved the screen, lounged Tyler Demming, frozen, staring like a deer in the headlights.
Her headlights.