Chapter 29
I opened one eye and blinked as the early-dawn light streamed down on me. I groaned. My whole body felt stiff. I opened my other eye.
‘Oh,’ I said as I looked at Blake’s face next to me, his eyes still closed, his chest rising and falling with his even breaths.
I squinted and realised we were still outside on the blanket.
No wonder my body ached. We must have fallen asleep after we’d finished kissing and touching.
We’d slept on the grass with just a blanket.
Blake’s arm was draped across me and it felt strong and safe.
But this definitely wasn’t at all comfortable.
‘Blake?’ I reached out to touch his arm.
‘The sun is rising,’ I said softly, wondering when Willow and Dylan might come back to the farm and thinking about all the things we’d have to do before they did.
All the morning chores. Plus we’d both need hot showers after sleeping outside.
And I needed coffee if I was going to be capable of doing any of those things. ‘We need to get up.’
Blake shifted beside me and groaned. He opened his eyes. ‘You’re still here with me,’ he mumbled, half-asleep.
‘Yeah, we fell asleep out here.’ I watched as his eyes drifted shut again. ‘No, Blake, we need to wake up,’ I said, louder this time, and I nudged him again.
He responded by pulling me towards him and pressing his lips against mine. I couldn’t help but melt into him and I kissed him back, my lips tingling from all the kisses last night. ‘Hmm, good morning,’ he said when he opened his eyes and took me in properly. ‘It’s nice to wake up with you.’
‘You too, although I’m kind of concerned how our backs and necks are going to feel when we get up off the ground.’
‘Oh, shit.’ Blake looked around. ‘We fell asleep out here.’
‘Yeah, I seem to remember us getting dressed and you pulling us back down for more kisses…’
He grinned. ‘The kisses were too good to stop.’
‘Yeah, they were,’ I agreed.
‘Last night was special, Daisy,’ he said then, wrapping his arms around me. ‘For me, anyway…’ he added uncertainly.
‘Me too,’ I assured him.
He smiled happily. ‘I guess we’d better get up,’ he said, stretching out his arms with a groan.
‘Let’s try.’ I eased myself out from under him and sat up, my body not enjoying the movement at all.
I rolled my shoulders and rubbed the back of my neck.
‘We’re too old to sleep out like this.’ I giggled, thinking about summers here as a child and how I wouldn’t have thought twice about lying out on the grass.
Now, my grown-up body definitely preferred a comfortable bed.
Blake stood up and held out a hand, helping me to get to my feet too.
Then he held out his arms and I stepped into his embrace.
He held me tightly against him and we stood there for a moment hugging.
I hadn’t had a lot of affection recently and I wondered if Blake was the same as we leaned against each other, neither wanting to break the cuddle.
Until I heard a dog barking in the distance.
‘Maple is up,’ I said. ‘We better go and feed her and start the morning chores,’ I added with a sigh.
Blake let go of me but he dropped me a kiss on my lips. ‘You’re right. I need coffee first.’
‘You read my mind.’
We grinned at each other and set off for the farmhouse, holding hands like it was something we had always done.
The sun rose behind us as we walked, promising another lovely day.
Right now, before the farm would be full of visitors next week, it belonged just to us and it would keep our secret that we’d spent the night together.
I knew I’d never forget that night with Blake.
It had shown me that you had to grab moments in life that made you feel alive.
Even if you were scared of what might happen next.
You would end up regretting it otherwise.
I had shied away from moments like that for a long time.
Too scared of loss and pain and sadness.
Of feeling grief again. Of losing people I loved again.
But I knew I had missed out on so much by doing that.
So, as we walked back into the farmhouse, I promised myself that it was something I wouldn’t do any more.
* * *
When Willow, Dylan and Uncle Adam returned, it was past lunchtime. I ran over to the driveway when I heard Dylan’s car coming up the gravel. I’d been feeding the chickens and collecting eggs while Blake finished the second coat of white paint on the pony enclosure he had built with Dylan.
‘I’m so glad you’re all back,’ I called out warmly as they climbed out of the car. I looked anxiously at my uncle. He looked tired and pale but he smiled back at me and looked at the farmhouse behind me with relief.
‘I’m so happy to be home,’ he said.
‘Let’s get you up to your room and you can have a nap—’ Willow began, the anxiety clear on her face and in her voice.
‘Love, I’ll go into the kitchen. I’ve only just left my hospital bed,’ he said gently but firmly.
‘And you say I’m stubborn,’ Willow told him with a roll of her eyes.
‘You both are,’ Dylan butted in. ‘Why don’t you both get comfy in the kitchen and I’ll make us all tea and we can have some cake?
’ He gestured around. ‘The farm was in great hands so you can both rest for the day. No arguments. It was a long night,’ he said, so firmly that neither of them protested.
He nodded. ‘Good. Let’s go. Ah, here’s Blake, so we can all sit down together. ’
I turned around to watch him walking over, pulling a T-shirt back on after working shirtless and I got a lovely flashback of his arms around me last night.
I blushed but luckily, the three of them were already heading for the farmhouse and couldn’t see my shy smile as Blake approached.
‘We’re all having tea and cake, no arguments, apparently,’ I said when we fell into step with one another.
‘The pony enclosure is all done. They are ready to spend their days in the strawberry fields. It’s looking really good out there.’
‘Not long to go now,’ I agreed. I had put the faux flowers in the watering cans.
All we needed now were the picnic benches and the Portaloos to arrive, then set up the till table where people would weigh and pay for their picked fruit and veg, and for the Birchbrook Café van to pitch up, ready for visitors.
Willow was almost done planting her pumpkins and then she could focus on the pick-your-own season.
We paused at the door to the farmhouse. I heard Maple greeting her family with boundless enthusiasm, Willow laughing at her dog and Dylan telling Adam to sit down.
I felt a warmth travel up my body. I hadn’t heard family noises like this in a long time.
I thought about Henry’s house. It had often been so quiet, I was able to hear my heart beating.
I looked at Blake, wanting to tell him all of this, but his phone rang before I could.
‘It’s Sarah,’ he said, staring at it.
‘Go ahead,’ I said, although I really didn’t want her interrupting our nice day. But he had his own closure to deal with as I had with Henry. I knew I needed to be patient because he had been so with me. I’d been wearing another man’s engagement ring the whole time we’d known each other, after all.
‘You’re going back to the city?’ Blake asked, his eyes catching mine.
There was a pause as my heart lifted. ‘What do you mean – a surprise? Why can’t you tell me…
Sarah, we need to talk… wait…’ Blake sighed heavily as he listened to her.
‘Fine, okay. I’ll see you soon.’ He hung up with a frown.
‘Sarah is going back to the city. Says she is working on something to do with our app and won’t tell me as she wants it to be a surprise if it all comes together.
Said she’d call me soon. I guess at least she’ll be away from Birchbrook for a while. ’
I could tell he wasn’t sure if her surprise would be good or not.
I touched his hand. ‘Maybe it will help you both decide what to do about working together,’ I suggested.
I knew it was foolish of me to hope that it was something that would let Blake walk away because Sarah had made it clear she didn’t want that.
And I needed to keep reminding myself that Blake lived in the city.
He had talked about enjoying being back near home but that didn’t mean he was going to let go of the life he had been making for the past year.
Blake nodded. ‘I hope so, yeah. Either way, we’ll need to talk when she gets back and make some decisions.’
I was dying to know what decisions he was considering but I wasn’t sure I should ask. Things felt so new between us. I was glad Sarah wasn’t coming here today, though.
‘That sounds like a good plan. Maybe we can talk after dinner about last night?’ There had been so much to do today, we hadn’t had a chance to be alone really and we wouldn’t now until everyone separated for bed.
‘I’d like that. Do you want to come to the cottage when you can? I have some wine. We can talk then. And maybe…’ He dropped a quick kiss on my cheek. ‘I can kiss you properly,’ he added in a whisper.
I chuckled, happy that he wanted to kiss me again.
I wanted to kiss him again too. ‘I might let you,’ I replied coyly as we walked inside and through into the kitchen, holding hands until we reached the doorway then we let go before Willow or Dylan or Uncle Adam clocked us.
We needed to talk before we let them see we’d grown even closer while they were away.
But I longed to talk to Willow about how good it had been to kiss Blake.
To really kiss him finally. I wondered if she had felt the same after she had kissed Dylan.
We sat down at the table opposite one another and Blake dropped me a wink, making me think he was thinking along the same lines as me.
‘How are you all doing?’ Blake asked the others as Dylan brought over a tray with mugs of tea and Willow carried over the lemon drizzle Uncle Adam had made a couple of days ago. ‘We were worried about you.’
Blake using the ‘we’ made me smile although I tried to hide it because I knew Willow didn’t miss a trick.
‘Thank you. It was scary, I’ll admit. But these two looked after me as usual,’ Adam said, giving his daughter and her boyfriend a fond look. ‘And I’ll be right as rain.’
‘You need to take things easier,’ Willow reminded him. She looked weary from the night. ‘They said you’ll need to cut down on what you do on the farm…’ she trailed off.
‘I already have,’ Adam reminded her. ‘I’ve signed this place over to you, and let Dylan take on much more but I can’t just put my feet up all the time…’
‘But Dad—’ Willow said before my uncle cut her off.
‘I’m not going anywhere yet,’ he interrupted, reaching across the table to give her hand a squeeze.
‘Promise?’ Willow asked lightly but I saw a flash of younger Willow across her face. The Willow who, like me, had lost her mother. I could imagine how scared she was of losing my uncle too.
‘I’m like this farmhouse: built to last,’ he replied with a cheeky grin as we all knew the house needed lots of repairs that Willow and Dylan were getting round to as and when they had the time and money.
‘It does make you think, doesn’t it?’ Dylan said then.
‘About how life can just throw surprises your way. Sometimes, they are good ones…’ He reached for Willow’s hand and squeezed it.
I felt myself glance at Blake, who did the same to me.
‘But they can also be ones that you never want to happen. All we can do is try to make the most of life while we can and be around the people we love as much as we can.’
Willow looked at him. ‘Are you thinking about your family?’
‘I guess you going to see yours,’ Dylan said to Blake, ‘did make me think about how long it’s been since I’ve seen Nate and my father.
Nate is my older brother,’ he added so I knew who he was talking about.
‘Neither of them understood me coming to live here and I just gave up trying. Maybe I should try again, though.’
‘I was nervous to go home because I felt like a failure,’ Blake said. ‘But then I realised, it’s home for a reason, you know? They are there for me whatever path I take, and I want to be there for them too.’
‘No one fails in life,’ Adam said. ‘We are all just trying our best with what we’ve got and we all make mistakes. I know all your families just want to see you happy. It’s all I’ve ever wanted for Willow. And they are proud of you. How could they not be?’
I swallowed a lump in my throat. We all came from families broken in some way – by death or by someone leaving – and yet here we all were around this table together doing our best to live our lives despite our losses.
‘This summer is teaching me to not let life pass you by – if there’s something you want to do or someone you want to tell something to, you need to just do it.
Even if it’s scary. I know my parents…’ I took a moment to get the rest of my words out.
Blake shifted in his chair and I just knew he was itching to comfort me.
Even though he couldn’t, it helped anyway that he was there and he was on my side.
As they all were around this table. ‘They would have hated to see me stay somewhere that I didn’t want to be.
And my mum. She wouldn’t want me not to do something because it reminded me of her; she would encourage me to follow my heart.
’ I thought of how happy working with flowers these past couple of weeks had been making me.
I knew I couldn’t ignore that feeling. Nor did I want to.
The thought of going back to an office job again made me sad.
‘Your mother was a wonderful woman, just like my wife,’ Uncle Adam said.
‘Two women both taken from us far too soon. And my brother too. They would all be unable to believe the wonderful women their daughters have grown into.’ He wiped a tear from his cheek and by this time, we were all feeling pretty choked up too.
‘They would also laugh at us for all being so soppy right now,’ he added then, making us all laugh.
‘I just want to say, whatever happens in your lives, you can always come back here, okay? Can’t they, Willow? ’
She smiled. ‘I’d kill them if they didn’t,’ she said, making us laugh even more.
We all tucked in to the tea and cake then, and I could tell we all felt a little bit better. I didn’t know what it was about Birch Tree Farm but it seemed to be healing us all piece by piece.