Chapter 12
Sebastian
I watch her in the crowd as my friends talk around me, unable to look away. It’s like she hypnotized me, that silhouette dressed in green silk. It should have been impossible for me to find her once I lost her out of sight on her way to the middle of the dancefloor. Yet, there she is, just another dancing body. One that’s infinitely more interesting to watch.
This isn’t the first time I’ve seen her dance but even after months of getting used to it, I don’t think I’ll ever tire of it. The way her eyes stay closed and she moves with the music as if it possesses her, surrounds her, and uses her as a marionette to express the meaning of its beat.
The downside of that is, that I’m not the only one that sees. The other people are just as drawn to the dancer amidst them, and I have a perfect view of all the guys that look at her longingly. And the ones that try to do more than look.
She entertains a few of them by innocently dancing with them for a few minutes before leaving them and moving a few feet away. I enjoy seeing those slugs’ greedy hands on her about as much as I’d enjoy being shot .
I roll my eyes at the next dude that clumsily dances up to her and take a sip of my drink. And then another when I see him standing right behind her, whispering something in her ear. When his hands find her waist and they start dancing, his eyes closing in pleasure, I down the rest of my drink.
Then, I get to my feet and excuse myself from my friends with a quick, “I’m getting another drink.” I walk into the crowd, heading toward the bar rather than straight for Aliena in case my friends are watching. Of course, they’re too invested in whatever they’re talking about to care but I like to take precautions.
I finally make a turn halfway to the bar and find the girl in her green dress in a matter of minutes. The closer I get to her, the more urgent my steps turn.
“Really, I should get back to my friends,” I can faintly make out her protests as she tries to extract herself from the guy behind her. He just shakes his head and tightens his hold on her. I see her wince, and my hand shoots out to grab the guy’s hand the next moment, twisting one of his sweaty fingers. He cries out and takes a step away from me and thereby also from Aliena. That’s good enough for me.
I let go of his hand and level him with my most withering glare. “She told you to piss off. Try to take the hint the next time. When you have to beg someone to keep dancing, you’re just proving that you’re better left untouched,” I yell over the music.
He just averts his eyes and flees into the crowd. I turn to Aliena. “You okay?” I ask.
She grins softly and nods. “Thanks. Oh, that reminds me, I have more to thank you for. I’m very grateful you came so quickly that night, first and foremost, and I can never repay you for the invitation to the gallery. So thank you, for all of that.”
Her words combined with that sincere look on her face have something warm taking over my chest. I take close care not to let my face give away too much of what I’m feeling.
“It was no big deal. I’m glad you liked it,” I brush her off, uncomfortable with the intimacy. It’s not entirely true since I had to ask my father for the invitation and everything including him is no easy feat – most of all asking for his help – but I survived. Besides, mom was happy to see me swing by no matter how short the visit was. That made it a little more worth it.
“I loved it. It was unbelievable. Just the building is art in itself. I’m pretty sure I walked in with my jaw on the floor. And then there were all the paintings inside! I’ve never seen anything like it. I felt like I was a royal back in the day or something. I don’t think I’ve ever been to a place that hurt so much to leave,” she rants, her eyes lighting up.
The unbidden thought that she’s absolutely enthralling takes firm hold in my mind again.
“I can take you there again sometime. You don’t need an invitation when you’re with me.” At that, she perks up further.
“Really? You’d go with me?” She breaks out in the biggest grin. “I mean, yeah, sure. I’d definitely be down for that. I’d let an ogre take me if that was what it took.” For the first time today, I laugh.
“You just compared me to an ogre?” I ask, a little flabbergasted. This woman.
“Well, occasionally you do share some similarities. When you dance, for example, you certainly look like some creature of the mountains. Just one undercover in a very beautiful shell,” she jokes. Immediately, her face turns darker under the blue lights, and I know she’s blushing.
“Careful, that almost sounded like a compliment,” I warn her teasingly. She shoves me.
“Was it enough to charm you into dancing with me? I mean, that way we can minimize the chances of you having to come to my rescue when someone gets too handy again. Besides, Mattheo is not an option tonight so you’re the next best thing.” She’s teasing. I can tell by the look on her face.
And yet, the happy little balloon in my chest deflates a little. My best friend is a no-show and I’m the next best thing. That feels good to hear. I’m ready to say as much or turn her down but her hopeful, expectant expression stops me.
Fine, this time, I cave. “Hardly, but I’m feeling generous,” I tell her and let her take my hand.
My whole body ignites at the single, innocent contact with her. Not for the first time, I ask myself why. Why does she have to make me feel this way? Why is she the only person that can excite me anymore and bring my every last cell to life?
Her face lights up as if she feels the same as I did and then she twirls, letting her hair fly in a wide arc and then flop over her shoulder as she stops with her back to me. For a few beats, there’s a distance between our bodies. Then she looks back at me with a challenge in her eyes and I take a step forward, letting the hand that isn’t holding hers find her waist.
She moves backward until our bodies are up against each other and we’re swaying to the beat together. Her movements are big, her hips moving in a wide loop again and again while her arms move in all directions .
I’ll say I’m doing a good job at keeping up with her for an ogre, despite the distraction my hardening dick is providing. Fuck, but my body feels tingly and warm like it never has. Maybe it’s because of how long it’s been since I had sex and a proper release. Maybe it’s just that it’s Aliena I’m this close to.
Either way, I despise that she has this sort of power over me. And I despise even more that I can never act on these feelings and find out what it would be like to take this further. To touch her without the barrier of her silk dress between our skin. To fuck her and be the reason a room is flooded with the sweet symphony of her moans – moans that I know the sound of since they’ve been engraved in my mind ever since I interrupted her and Mattheo .
One of her hands finds mine on her hips and she clasps down over it, making me hold her tighter as she rests her head against my chest, her moves never faltering. Then she moves my hand further down, over her hips, and, to my great dismay, to her bare thigh.
Her skin is smooth and soft and incredibly warm. My fingers dig into the taunt flesh, images of those thighs spread for me momentarily occupying my mind. Then I catch myself and bring my hand back to her hips, holding her just enough to not restrict her movements. I wouldn’t dream of limiting her.
We keep dancing and I lose track of time. Sweat lines my hairline, neck, and even my back. I can feel it and yet, I’m surprisingly unbothered by it. Look at me, someone who’s not a fan of dancing, losing myself in it so thoroughly. Aliena is a witch.
She eventually turns around, her face bright, and throws her arms around my neck. Then she keeps dancing, making my whole situation so much worse with how she looks up at me as her lower stomach rubs against my erection.
She knows exactly what she’s doing – what she’s making me feel – and she’s loving every second of it, the wicked woman. There’s no way she’s unaware of my reaction with the way we’re dancing, but I’m not the only one that’s getting turned on by this. No, her body’s like putty in my hands and even her fingers move at a sultry pace in my hair. Most importantly, her lidded eyes are telling me exactly what she’s thinking about as they drop to my lips.
She comes impossibly closer, her arms tightening around my neck. Then she looks at me expectantly, almost hopefully, and I nearly cave right there. Nearly lower my head a few inches to bring my lips to hers and devour her like I’ve been thinking about ever since I first met her.
But I can’t. I can never take it as far as I want with her. Whether I like it or not, she’s a lasting person in my life and it would be impossible to stop seeing her after we took things where my mind is currently going. And since I could never be in a relationship with her, all crossing that line would do is complicate things.
Mattheo might be okay with sleeping with her and then seeing her with others, but I could never. Once I had her, she’d feel too much like mine, and the possessiveness and jealousy I already feel when it comes to her would be too much to take.
No, there’s no way I’ll go there.
I pull away, take my hands from her hips and take one of hers again, trying not to make things too awkward with a harsh rejection. “Let’s rejoin the others. I’m sure they’re missing the birthday girl by now,” I say and start leading her away before I can take a too-close look at her faltering expression .
The closer we get to the VIP platform, the more her hand in mine starts to feel wrong and I become unsure of what to do. Our friends aren’t aware of our occasional moments and since changing that would only bring up unwanted questions, I refuse to do it.
I release her hand and meet her eyes over my shoulder, my face impassive even though I hate the way it makes her frown. “I don’t dance,” I remind her, knowing she’ll take her hint. Her face loses the last of its glow as she huffs.
We get onto the platform together but while I return to the empty couch, Aliena plops down next to Mattheo. That’s another reason why I wouldn’t fuck her. It’s clear that I’m her second choice and I don’t do second place.
And so, the night resumes with the girl I just danced with and my best friend flirting loudly while the couple on the other couch is making out or talking intimately. Then there’s me, pretending to watch the crowd as I down drink after drink, trying to tune out the idiots on my left.
Yeah, I love fifth wheeling.
Every now and again, someone throws a question around and a group discussion breaks out. That’s when I’m forced to look at Aliena when she speaks, instantly wishing I hadn’t when I note her legs thrown over Mattheo’s while he gently caresses her skin.
That’s about enough for me.
My eyes flick back to a girl in the crowd I’ve been watching for a few minutes now. She has shoulder-length brown hair, a heart-shaped face, and nice, full lips. She looks good and since she’s dancing right in front of the platform, I noticed her. She noticed me too and has been throwing me glances every now and again as she swayed her hips to the beat .
I get up from my seat and walk toward the end of the platform. “I’ll see you later,” is all I say to my friends, and I don’t miss the way Aliena’s eyes narrow on me, then jump to the girl. I guess she has been paying enough attention to see our silent interactions before. My intoxicated mind finds that very interesting and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get a small kick out of getting a reaction.
I meet the girl on the dancefloor and shoot her a lazy grin when she smiles demurely and says, “Hey.”
“Hey, gorgeous. What do you say we go somewhere a bit more private? My friends are too curious and they already noticed me watching you. I don’t need to give them any more reason to talk,” I tell her, laughing softly. She joins in and coincidentally touches my shoulder.
“Sure, I’d like that,” she agrees. I take her hand and start leading her away with one last fleeting look at my friends, who are already watching me as expected. Oh well, let them watch if they get off on it, I guess.
I take the girl back to the corridor lined with bathrooms, doing my best to walk straight so as not to seem too drunk. I might’ve had a drink too many considering I like not to lose control of myself, but I’ll be damned before I let someone notice it.
Once we’re alone, the girl doesn’t waste any time grabbing my face and kissing me. She’s tall, enough so that I don’t have to lean down which is a blessing since any acrobatics I’d have to do now wouldn’t be an easy feat.
She kisses well, gentle enough for the beginning, though there is something demanding in her touch that I don’t mind at all. My hands find her waist and I pull her a little closer, enjoying the fact that there are no overwhelming fireworks as I touch her. This is simple. Forgettable .
A throat clears obnoxiously somewhere nearby and the girl in my arms pulls away to find the source of it. I know who it is before I see the cross-armed birthday girl a few feet away. I give my hookup who still hasn’t introduced herself a pat on the arm and nod towards the nearest door to one of the private bathrooms.
“Why don’t you wait for me in there while I deal with my friend? I’ll make it quick,” I tell her in a lowered voice.
She nods and leaves, but not before saying, “Just for the record, I only believe that that isn’t an angry girlfriend because I saw her on your friend’s lap before. I’m no homewrecker.” I smile and nod solemnly. That’s something to respect her for.
I’m still smiling when I stroll toward Aliena. The closer I get, the more amusement fills me. God, her face is red. She’s mad .
Before I get the chance to speak, she snaps at me, “Is it that hard for you to keep it in your pants for one night?”
It’s clear to say the unjustified accusation wipes the smile right off my face. So much indignation fills me that I almost get whiplash. Maybe the alcohol is making me sensitive or maybe I’ve been holding on to this since she pulled that move with Mattheo, but my voice is almost shrill when I retort. “Look who's talking!”
She huffs at me. “One person. One time since I’ve known you, Sebastian! What did you expect me to do, live a celibate life because you don’t want me, but you also don’t want anyone else to have me? And meanwhile, I get to watch you have a different girl every night?” Her voice is shaky and breaks at the end of her sentence but I don’t let it get to me. No. No matter what reasons she might think she has to be upset, she’s fucking wrong .
I decide to finally tell her that. “There are no girls! There haven’t been any since I met you, Aliena, so to answer your question, no, it isn’t hard to keep it in my pants for one night. It just doesn’t appeal to me this particular one. Now crawl back to Mattheo, will you, because you’re right, I don’t want you.”
I practically spit the words and I can see them hit the bullseye when she clamps her mouth shut. A part of me rebels against leaving her like this, with her stupid hurt expression and those damned tears shining in her eyes. The sight doesn’t make me feel nearly as triumphant as I thought it might.
And now we’re here, both our chests heaving with deep breaths as we stare at each other in shocked silence. Before I can cave and even think about apologizing, I turn and join my hookup in the secluded room. Just like that.
I lock the door behind me and slam my lips to hers, hoping to drown out the war raging in my head. This serves her right. After the shit she pulled with Mattheo in my house, she deserves to think that I can enjoy someone else just as much as she clearly can.
Even though I know I can’t and I know I won’t. Tonight, despite the alcohol and my anger, won’t be any different from all the others. I’ll entertain this nice woman, make out with her for long enough to let Aliena’s mind run all sorts of scenarios about what I’m doing to her, and then go back out as if nothing happened.
That time turns out to be around forty minutes. Forty minutes that felt like a lot longer. Luckily, my company was nice enough and she seemed to enjoy my approach of not taking any clothes off of either one of us. After telling her some excuse and that it was nice to meet her, I leave the bathroom and return to the VIP section of the club .
The party’s still going strong but somehow, the colors seem a little duller as I make my way to my friends. If only my conscious would stop bothering me with the image of Aliena’s silly hurt expression. So what if I offended her a little? She didn’t care about my feelings two weeks ago.
The thing I immediately notice is that only three people are on the couches of our VIP lounge. The birthday girl is missing, and it doesn’t sit quite right with me. Overall, I’d describe the mood up here to be somber as hell considering where we are. Even the lovebirds don’t have their heart eyes on.
I force my lazy smile to remain as I casually ask, “Where’s the guest of honor?”
“Home. She just texted,” Lily replies. That has me halting in my tracks and I can feel a brow rise on my forehead as I turn to Mattheo.
“And how exactly did she get there?” I ask him, my harsh tone betraying my cool facade.
“I don’t know since she left without notice after following you ,” he says through gritted teeth. And here I thought messing up his knee would teach him a lesson about making sure our friend got home safely. If I didn’t already know she made it home tonight, I’d have to give him another friendly reminder.
“You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?” he adds, clearly blaming me for her departure.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I demand.
“It means that she was fine before you started eye-fucking that girl and left with her,” he retorts without missing a beat, being more direct than he’s ever been about my situation with Aliena. I just shrug, unwilling to agree that he has a point .
“Why would you connect those two occurrences? What I do with whom is none of your business and it certainly doesn’t concern Aliena.”
“Oh, please, we all know that’s bullshit. I don’t understand what the hell is up with you two but it’s clear that something is up!” he has the nerve to fucking exclaim. That does I for me and I snap.
“Oh, so there is something between us, huh? You didn’t seem to think that when you fucked her in my house. No, of course, I'm the bad guy as soon I do the same. Fuck you!”
“Whoa, what? You slept with Aly?” Lily interjects.
“Yeah, she didn’t tell you? Funny considering that you saw her hours later. You know, at the hospital after she was attacked on her way home since Mattheo didn’t think to give her a fucking ride home after he was done with her.”
Lily mutters something more but it’s Mattheo’s loud voice that demands my attention.
“ What ? What do you mean she was attacked?” he demands.
I shrug. “It seems I was the only one here with all the information. Ups. What did you think I fucked your knee up for?” I ask him, not feeling sorry in the least.
“I thought you did it because you are a fucking psycho!” he’s quick to reply. Of course, he’s not fully wrong. After the way he taunted me through that locked door, I really didn’t need much more motivation to take some of tumultuous emotions out on him.
Andrew sputters from where he’s sitting, entering the conversation for the first time. “Whoa, hang on. You dislocated his knee?” he demands. Ups , I guess I forgot how twisted the whole story was and how little Andrew knew of it all. It looks like I’m going to be here for a while.
Cheers to that.